Honored (Book 2 of the In Search of Honor series)

As I rolled away from the gathering at the center, I could see the others that were gathered slowly dispersing like ants coming out of the ant hill.

This time, Dan did not walk in front of me, and instead walked next to me letting me lead. I didn’t particularly feel like going back to the Konjack’s old house and meeting whoever took over living in it. Dan seemed to be letting me lead, but I wondered if he would resist me heading further down into the city. I would be quite noticeable rolling along in my chair, but I wanted to see the city. To see the damage of the battles. Maybe visit Daniel and Henry’s wife and kids.

I rolled past the turn for the Konjack estate, and down the road I knew well toward the city’s winding roads.

“Why are you going that way?” Dan’s voice stopped me, and I turned my chair to see him standing at the crossroads.

“I’m going down to the City. I want to see it. I’ve seen what’s left of the castle, now I want to see how badly the City itself was damaged,” I stared at him, daring him to argue with me.

“It is not safe. You are too recognizable with the chair. Everyone would crowd you, and I cannot protect you if something went wrong.” His protection mode was triggering again with this.

I sighed. Why did this “desire to protect me” thing trigger before I was even in danger? It was frustrating trying to work around this, “I am not yet in danger, and we have a whole day before anything more is happening. I will go see the city.”

He stared at me, his silence speaking for him. He clearly disagreed with me. If he wasn’t going to speak I would go without him. I turned my chair to continue down the road.

“I’ll carry you if you are that determined!” He called after me.

As if that would be better. I turned back to face him. He was still standing at the intersection. “Do you really think people would question less a strange man walking around carrying a woman in his metal arms?”

“Yes. If we wore enough coverings that they couldn’t see my arms or your face, it is probably a more common sight than a wheelchair rolling through the city.” He crossed his metal arms in front of his body, and felt the most human I’d seen him since the Wall changed him.

I was tempted to give in to his glare and body language of being stubborn. It seemed like this was something he actually wanted, but what if it wasn’t? What if it was just whatever the Wall had put inside him. The same thing that changed his speech patterns.

I rolled back towards him, trying to see if I could see a truth to his actions. His eyes followed me as I came closer. I stopped just in front of him and looked up into his glassy brown eyes. “What if I don’t want to be carried? What if I just wheeled myself down there because that is what I want to do?” I challenged him. I wanted to get a rise out of him, and see anger or something from him.

He blinked a couple times, his eyebrows narrowed, and I could see his jaw clench, and then everything relaxed with his arms falling down next to his side and his eyes unfocusing to a place somewhere above my head, “If that is what you want, I will follow along and protect you. I would like you to know that this is a bad decision, and should it seem like you might come to harm, I will take back control of your chair and send it back to the Revacks’ estate.” The last bit of his words got slightly louder and higher in tone, as if he was forcing them out.

Was this him fighting the commands the Wall put in him? Was this a change to his own desires because of the commands from the wall fighting themselves? I reached out and gripped his left hand. “Is this you, or is this the Wall speaking?” I asked, unable to resist questioning anymore.

He glanced back down at me, and then away and swallowed before finally speaking, “I - I don’t know.” He glanced back down at me, ’I don’t have a clear distinction, except for if you give a definite command. I don’t want you to go down to that city, but you have told me that is where we are going, so - so I can’t stop you.” His voice was rough, almost scared.

Were these human like behaviors him trying to manipulate me to change my mind? How could I think that after he had so truthfully told me that he didn’t want me to go down there and it was the commands forcing him to? “I have to go see the city for myself, but I will accept giving you control of the chair at the first sign of trouble and running away.” I could work with him part way.

His knees bent forward and he was kneeling on the ground in front of me before throwing his metal arms around me in a hug. “Thank you.” he whispered next to me, and before I had a chance to respond he was standing again. I didn’t know what to say. Was he changing? Or was this just what he thought was the best way to express gratitude for me agreeing to flee if he thought anything was wrong?

Whatever it was, I now had my chance to explore the city. I turned my chair and started back down the familiar road, and behind me I could hear Dan’s footsteps following.