Hockey With Benefits

I’d texted Miles when I knew Mara was at class, so he met me in front of her door. He was leaning against the wall as I came from the stairs, and shook his head. “If you’d asked for this before the party last Friday, I’d be like hell no. But…” He unlocked her door, and let me in. “Don’t fuck anything up, because our girl takes no prisoners.”

I dipped my chin towards him. “It’ll be fine. I’m just doing something to help her out.”

Suspicion flared in his gaze, but he cocked his head to the side. “If she’s pissed about whatever you’re going to do, I’m throwing Gavin under the bus. I’ll tell her that he stole her keys to give to you.”

“Dude. Just tell her I stole her keys.”

His eyebrows dipped down. “That’s a better idea. Anyways.” He held up a finger, making a clicking sound. “Have at it. This never happened.”

I shut the door.

I saw the look on Mara afterwards. Someone violated her safe place. I got it. I understood.

Garbage bags were pulled out of my backpack, and I got to work.

I hit the kitchen first.

The food her mom had brought was put in the garbage bags.

I found Mara’s real food, and put them back where she had them before. Her towels. Washcloths. They were taken and put away. I was guessing a little, but remembered which went to the bathroom, and the others were put in the hallway closet. When I opened that door, I saw I’d been right. There were two giant empty spaces on one of the shelves.

Dishes were put back.

Glasses.

Even the silverware was returned to the original drawer.

Mara might’ve had no idea that I remembered this shit since most of my time was entering, then exiting her bedroom, but I noticed things. Always had.

Her mom had gotten into her bedroom, with her nicer clothes moved to her closet and some of her mom’s clothes put in the drawer. That stuff was put in the garbage bag as well, and I dug in her closet, finding everything to get it back in the spot Mara had designated.

After that, I combed through the place.

The bathroom’s toilet paper was switched around. I corrected that.

She had put some of Mara’s toiletries under the sink, putting her own things in its place. That was all made right.

The living room. There were some blankets that Mara liked to grab for her lap. She usually kept them on the couch, so she could easily grab one without getting up, but her mom had stuffed them in the back of the closet. Those were put back.

After that, I studied the room, standing, feeling something else was off.

The air.

The place didn’t smell like Mara. It reeked of cheap perfume.

Windows were opened. I found a fan and had that going, helping to clear it all out. When that was done, I looked around for the usual spray that Mara liked and did a few sprays.

There. It looked like no one had been in here.

I grabbed my bags, hit the lock, and headed back out.

The rest of the week, I never heard from Mara. I half expected it.

Seeing her mom, hearing her mom, being in the same room as her, I could feel how toxic the lady was. Everything clicked. Mara hadn’t been Mara in that room. She was a shadow of herself, and I hated that.

Hated seeing that. Hated feeling that from her.

So, her ghosting me, not wanting to see the person who was a witness to that moment, made sense. She was feeling vulnerable and exposed, and I seriously did get that shit. Fuck. She had no idea how much I got it. That’s why I was brief the next morning, giving her space, not pushing anything. Normal people, that’s what they’d do. They’d want to know what happened, get all the emotional feelings out. Feel all close to each other and shit.

Her and me? No. We didn’t do that shit.

That’s the time when you close up and rally and pull away because even while you don’t want to do it, you have to so you feel safe again. You don’t feel safe being raw and exposed. Which goes against the grain, but again, I get it.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

I started to answer Barclay, but Atwater skated next to him and said the same thing. A goofy smile on his face. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Penny for your thoughts?” That was Labrowski.

Keys was next. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Penny for your mind?”

The third line was next.

Then the fourth.

They all repeated a variation of the same question, and I scowled, but I was also fighting back a grin. “You guys planned that like some TikTok video?”

They all started laughing.

Atwater shoved one of the third linemen. “Except for this dumbass. Mind? The phrase is thoughts.”

He scowled and ducked, skating backwards. “Don’t hit me again, dude.”

Atwater went right after him. “Oh! What are you going to do about it?”

They moved off, half wrestling and half pretending to have a brawl, but we’d just finished practice so no one cared.

Labrowski moved up in Atwater’s place. “Serious, man. You good? You’ve been spacing all week.”

“Can’t be about those pictures of you and Daniels up on the hockey blogs.” Barclay moved in. “That was a week ago.”

“That was a whole week ago?”

They were talking about me as if I wasn’t here. And because I was in a mood, I skated away.

“Cruz! Come on.”

I headed for the locker room and held up my stick to Barclay. “You guys seem to be having a better conversation about me so have at it. You all figure shit out. Let me know what you’ve decided.”

I stepped over, walking the rest of the way.

Some of the guys followed, their voices filling the locker room.

I went to my area, peeling off my uniform and pads before sitting down and bending over to start unlacing my skates. Labrowski sat next to me, doing the same. He glanced over a few times before he said, “Listen, I’m known for doing crazy shit, but when it comes to the games, I’m steady. You being melancholy this whole week is fucking the dynamic up. Guys notice. You’re not captain, but you set the tone for us, so whatever’s going on, get it out of your head. We’re playing Minnesota this weekend. They’re good. We need you at your best.”

“Dude. I’m aware. I’ve been quiet, that’s it. My head’s always on straight for the game.”

“I know, but…you have influence. Theirs might not be. Just be aware of that.”

He was right. I’d been noticing the looks from the guys, but me being quiet wasn’t all about Daniels. Wasn’t even a third about Daniels. Mom. Titi. Then Sabrina Burford coming up afterwards and mentioning Titi.

Then the whole storm with Mara’s mom.

That threw me way, way back, and I’d not been ready or wanting to go to memories of why I could identify Mara’s mom’s deal or the look in Mara’s eyes when she came out of the bathroom.

We were leaving for Minnesota in the morning, so I had one night.

I needed to hash some stuff out with Daniels, and her ghosting me was not going to continue. We were officially in the ‘between shit’ that she always said she didn’t want. We were there. I was making us go there.

I was finishing dressing when Barclay came over. “A bunch of us are going for some pizza. You in?”

I checked my phone. It wasn’t even eight yet. “Yeah. I can go for a couple slices.”

“Sweet!” He pounded me on the chest before grabbing his bag. “Can I ride with you?”

As soon as we entered Pete’s, the guys headed for the back room. It was mostly a bar, known for their pizza and a couple games in the back room, so it wasn’t uncommon for some kids to be playing back there if their family was here during normal ‘dinner’ hours. Labrowski and a few of the other guys were the only ones legal to drink, so they ordered a pitcher. We were in training, and we had a game tomorrow, so it would only be one pitcher. The guys had been here enough and the workers behind the bar were fan-guys. Because of that, it was the place we came whenever we wanted a beer and didn’t want to get any shit for it.

D1 hockey went a long way around here.

But because it’d gotten out that the team hung out here, a lot of upperclassmen also started coming as well. Which normally wasn’t an issue, but I saw a back booth where Carrington was at, along with a few other Alpha Mu brothers.

Barclay sat down next to me, nodded in their direction. “Wonder if Miller is here?”

I glanced over, hearing Mara’s roommate. “Over there.”

“Sweet. I like the Miles kid too.”

They weren’t alone.

Miles Gaynor, Gavin Miller, a few other guys were heading in from the other section of the bar and right behind them were a bunch of sorority girls. Burford was there. She was grinning, her head down, her hand lightly touching Miller’s back, but when their attention shifted our way, so did hers.

Her hand fell away. Her head jerked up. The grin vanished, and her eyes got real wide. She stumbled in her step before righting herself.

“What’s that about?” Labrowski joined us, setting the pitcher down and a pile of plastic cups next to it. He was talking about Burford.

“Nothing. I know her from school.”

“College?”

Labrowski stifled a laugh.

I rolled my eyes at Barclay. “High school, dumbfuck.”

“Really?”

I nodded.

“You two don’t look cool. I thought you were cool? You studied with her when you first hooked up with Daniels.”

“How do you know that?”

Labrowski snorted, laughing under his breath.

Barclay winced before also snorting. “You came back reeking of sex. After that, Daniels was the only girl sneaking out of your room. Figured that was the first time. Was I wrong?”

I swore, long and low. “Had no idea you were this observant back then.”

Labrowski hooted, hitting the table with his palm. “Observant! Barclay?”

Atwater was coming back to the table, a wide grin on his face and his own pitcher of beer in hand. He set it down, rounding the table to drop down on my other side. “Barclay? Too bad he doesn’t use that skill on the ice.”

“Hey!”

Labrowski’s head tipped back, more laughter came out. “Burn!”

“Dude.” Barclay was scowling and he motioned to the second pitcher of beer. “We have a game tomorrow. One pitcher is fine, but two? Everyone has a phone nowadays. What are you thinking?”

Atwater didn’t seem to care, shrugging and pouring himself a cup. “If we ask real nice, they won’t post. No one wants to get us in trouble.”

Labrowski grunted, taking his own pitcher and pouring for himself. “Don’t say that around Styles. He found out sometimes they gonna post what they wanna post.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Fuck off, all y’all.”

“Damn.” Atwater shot upright, motioning behind Labrowski. “Watch it. They’re coming over.”

The rest of the team was heading in, but they weren’t alone. Gaynor and Miller joined, along with a couple other Alpha Mu brothers. Burford and her sorority sisters joined too, lingering at the end except for two of the girls. They were eyeing me.

“What’s up, everyone?” Gaynor went around the table, fist pumping half the team. I held mine up as he went past. He paused, just briefly, but kept on, rounding and sinking down on the other side of Keys.

Miller joined him, giving everyone a nod hello. “You all going to win tomorrow?”

The guys started to talk, but I was feeling attention from one of Sabrina’s friends. Slender. Pretty face. Dark hair. She had mean eyes, the kind that say they know something about you that you don’t want them to know. Because of that, I leaned forward. “Who’s your friend, Burford?”

The mean-eyed chick just grinned, all knowing and shit. Smug.

Sabrina sighed, looking defeated for one second, which wasn’t a typical Sabrina Burford thing. She’d picked up a drink and set it down before motioning to the girl. “She’s from a sister sorority.” Her mouth closed and it was obvious she had no inclination to say anything more.

The ‘friend’ didn’t care. Her grin widened and she half leaned over the table. “Hi! I’m Kit. Kit Carlson.” She gave one pause before the Cheshire smile came out. “We have a friend in common.”

I wasn’t getting a good feeling here. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Sabrina glanced my way, saying quickly and almost rushed, “She’s from Fallen Crest.”

Fuck.

Miller went still before turning my way. He was real even-keel when he said, “She came in with a friend of mine. Zeke Allen–”

Jesus.

I’d heard enough.

I was up from the table with my phone in the next half second. I was dialing and the line was ringing by the time I got outside.

I hoped she wasn’t going to ghost me tonight. I hadn’t called all week. She hadn’t called either, so I was hoping that was the extent of it, but me actually calling–fucking pick up, Mara.

“Hello?”

She sounded tired.

“I’m at Pete’s. You got at least one Fallen Crest friend here and judging by the look of her and Miller, I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy shows up–”

“Who?”

“Kit Carlson. Hanging with Burford, a Kappa girl. Miller’s here, talked about a guy named Zeke Allen.”

She was quiet before she swore, low and under her breath. “They’re idiots who think they’re friends.” She swore again. “I’m coming.”

“You need a ride?”

“No.” But she hesitated before saying that. That told me she somewhat wanted me to come and get her. That said a lot. A whole week. We’d not had sex in a whole week.

“Hey. Uh.”

I frowned, hearing the change in her tone. Self-conscious.

“What?”

“Is Zeke alone?”

I cursed but answered. “He ain’t even here, yet. There someone you’re expecting with Allen?”

“God, I hope not. I’ll be there in a second.”

“Mara.”

“What?”

“Do you need backup?”

She swore a third time. “Funny thing is, both of them are supposed to be my friends. But I have no idea how to answer your question because the sad fact is, I might need support.”

We ended the call, but I lingered, leaning against the bricked wall.

Did not like how the one girl was looking at me, and really didn’t like how Miller looked away when I called the ‘friend’ out. He knew. That said everything.

The door opened. Barclay and Atwater came out at the same time a Jeep pulled up. There were shouts, laughs, some curses. A guy who thought he was something special had just pulled into Pete’s parking lot.

The driver was muscular. Built, probably five eleven. Blond hair. There were a few other guys with him, but one drew the attention. Blaise DeVroe. I would’ve recognized him no matter what because his face was splashed over the NCAA soccer news every other day. I did not like how he moved forward. Lean. Muscled. With intention. His eyes were intelligent. As their friends went inside without a second thought, he drew up short.

His gaze was on me.

I saw the spark of recognition.

He knew who I was. He also knew I was fucking his ex.

I gave a small nod before straightening from the wall. “Know you.”

Barclay and Atwater shared an uneasy look.

I played hockey. He played soccer. One of those sports leaned heavily on the violence whereas the other didn’t.

He raised his chin up. “Not here for you.”

“Then why are you here?”

He gestured inside. “You’ve not met Zeke yet. I have a dumbass friend.”

“That doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

“Look, I have no problem throwing down if that’s the situation here.”

“Is it the situation?” I was facing him square because I also had no problem throwing down. He was registering that, and he was doing it with some surprise.

He nodded, slightly, edging back a step. “Not here for that reason.”

“Also aware of that.”

His eyes flared again.

The subtext was that he just told me he wasn’t here to get back into Mara’s pants, or to keep someone from not getting in there. I let him know that I was aware. That’s what surprised him.

“Not sure of our problem here.” His head cocked to the side, a glimmer of a frown there.

“Our problem is that you’re here. I don’t want you here.”

I was mostly an easy-going guy. Mostly. Here was the other side of me. Get me on the ice, and I was a dick of epic proportions. This guy, he was being introduced to the hockey side of me. Mara was already messed up because of her mom, because of me, and now an ex here? It wouldn’t help.

A car pulled into the lot, parking in a spot near us.

A second later, Mara was hurrying for the door, but drew up short seeing our situation. She stuffed her hands in her pockets. “Seriously, Blaise?”

He stepped back, his gaze skirting from her to me and back again. He held his hands up. “Not here for you.”

She moved so she was standing directly between us, her back to me. Her tone was cold. “I told you that I’m not going to hurt your sister.”

His gaze skirted from her to me. “I believe you. Or I believed your message. Again, that’s not why I’m here.” He kept looking at me, a new assessing look coming over him.

That surprise was still there. He was reassessing me.

“Why are you here then?” Mara asked.

His hands lowered, and a grin appeared. “You do know Zeke, right? You were the one who called me when he was arrested in Cain. Can you imagine the shit he’ll get into here? End of the day, somehow his jeep will get confiscated and I’m not driving three hours to pick his ass up from jail. I’m here to keep him out of trouble and also to see my sister. That’s it. Season is over, and I thought why not a road trip?”

She didn’t answer right away.

Mara was one of the strongest girls I knew. She could stand alone. I was here anyways, and she knew it. This guy knew it too, and he seemed somewhat transfixed by the undercurrents going on.

Then the door opened. The music from inside blew loud before the door slammed shut again, quieting it.

The muted silence didn’t last long.

The driver from the jeep came out, frowning, but that changed the second his eyes fell on Mara. “Daniels!” He took three steps and swooped her up in his arms.

“Agh! Zeke! Put me down.”

He went in a circle, his arm clamped around her legs over his shoulder. “Not on your life. Hell yeah, Daniels! Your roommate inside is being all shady, not letting us know where you live. Came out to collect my boy, was going to have him GPS your phone so we could roust you up for some fun tonight, but no need. You’re already here!” He was still circling, going a little faster each time.

She pounded on his back. “Put me down.”

He kept laughing, until a growl erupted from me.

He stopped, glancing back and did a double take. “Oh, shit. It’s the guy you’re banging.”

That earned a second growl from me.

He put Daniels down, a wide smile on his face, and held his hand out. “Hey, man, hey! I’m a huge fan. For real, I am. My frat does fantasy hockey, and I snatched you up as soon as you joined the team. Dude. You’ve made me so much money. You have no idea.”

This guy was…interesting.

Mara grinned at me, relaxing a little. “If it helps, I think of him as Cain’s equivalent to our Gavin Miller.”

I cast her a sideways look. “That doesn’t help.”

She shrugged, sidling more to the side.

I shook the guy’s hand and his grin widened. “Awesome.”

Blaise DeVroe moved up. “You should know that Zeke’s got a tendency to be borderline stalker when he zeroes in on an idol.”

Atwater stifled a snort.

Zeke didn’t seem to care, gesturing to his friend. “Yeah. Mason Kade got me through junior high and high school. The guy’s a fucking legend. You follow the NFL? Know who Kade is? I keep hearing rumors that he’s going to transfer out, but I don’t believe it. Not for a bit. Nah, man. He won’t go until his last year or two playing. Free agent, and his team will fuck up. They’ll let him go. What a bunch of dumbasses, if you ask me.”

Mara’s eyebrows rose. “Zeke.”

“What?” He cast her a frown but shrugged. “I’m a lot of things, but I’m not ashamed of my fanboy idols. Mason Kade is legit. He kept me on the straight and narrow until your ass came back to town.” He slapped his friend’s chest with the back of his hand.

“Straight and narrow? You were a douchebag bully until your dad handed you your ass this last summer.”

Zeke shot his friend a disgruntled frown. “Let’s not talk about that. I’m trying to block that out.”

Blaise coughed, his head lowering. “Taz told me you were a bitch to her. What’s that about?”

Mara’s head jerked backwards. She looked like she’d been slapped.

Zeke’s eyes closed. His head folded down. “You really need to work on your segue abilities.”

Mara was blinking a few times, but she edged back. “I apologized. That’s between me and her.”

“Taz?” Barclay spoke up.

DeVroe nodded. “My sister.” He gestured to Mara.

“Oh yeah! Race Ryerson’s girlfriend. She’s super nice. That’s your sister?”

“Yeah.” He said the word slowly, and his voice dropped down, to a whole more warning level.

Barclay caught on, lifting his hand and moving back a step himself. “Ryerson’s a friend of the team.”

I went back to watching Mara, whose gaze was downcast, but she edged closer to me another step. And she did it again. At the same time, her gaze was skirting to the door… Like she didn’t want to go in there.

Or there was someone in there she didn’t want to see.

Back to me.

An inch to me.

To the door.

She paused but repeated until I’d had enough.

“Okay.” I had my keys, everything on me. I went to her front and bent over. Fitting my shoulder to her stomach, I straightened with Mara slung over me.

She gasped. “Cruz!”

“Right on!”

I ignored the Zeke Allen guy and said to Barclay, “I’ll be at Mara’s. Can you get a ride back?”

“Oh yeah! I can get a ride back. Don’t forget we got a game tomorrow.”

I lifted a hand up in a wave.