SWNOVELS Hitched: Chapter 21
Selena
Lex got way more money than I expected or hoped for. He wants to provide for us in a situation that hardly allows for it. He can give me a place to live, a bed where I can rest my weary head, and he can give me himself. That’s all I really want, but we also need a little more than what the odd jobs can give. We aren’t trying to be extravagant, but we must survive away from the world that will try to separate us.
Driving back from the diner has me in my feelings. I love and hate that Lex pushes me out of my comfort zone and makes me feel good. It’s not just a selfless urge to make me come, though; he wants the control I hand to him at the worst times and places. He loves that I listen when everything inside me says no.
Rain begins to patter against the windshield, then the sky opens up and it starts to pour. It reminds me of the first night I met Lex. Unlike me, he’s sure behind the wheel, despite the rain.
I blink heavily as my eyes try to adjust to a figure along the side of the road. Through the blur of rain on the windows, I can make out a man with his pale thumb held in the air. He has a limp, and it tears at heartstrings that should have been snipped when Lex carjacked me.
“There’s a guy back there,” I say, pointing behind me.
“So what?”
“We can’t leave him like that.”
Lex shakes his head. “We sure can, rabbit. Have you learned nothing from this whole venture? We’ve finally gotten our shit together so we don’t have to keep running. I won’t risk that because of some hitchhiker.”
“But you’re here with me. He’s not going to do anything with you here. You’re the biggest predator in these parts.” I have no fear of any other man with Lex around. He’ll always protect me. I push out my lower lip. “I’ll feel really shitty if we leave him out there in the storm.”
“Don’t look at me like that. I don’t like how selfless you are. I love that it put me in the car with you in the first place, but your selflessness is suicidal sometimes.”
He has to remember what it was like to need a ride.
“Please,” I beg. After what happened to the poor clerk, I feel like I need to make amends to the universe and improve one person’s day to account for robbing the gas station.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Selena, fine. But so help me God, if he even thinks about touching you, you’re going to wish I never stopped to pick him up. His death will be on your hands.”
He slams on the brakes, throws the truck in reverse, and backs toward the man. At first I think I must have imagined him because he seems to have vanished within the darkness, but a knock on the window startles me and throws me right back into the night I met Lex. It feels like déjà vu.
Lex lowers my window a little and speaks over me. “Do you need help?” I’m sure the man can tell how much he doesn’t want to ask. He couldn’t seem less approachable if he tried.
The man stares at us. Rain plasters his dark hair to his forehead. He looks young, closer to my age, and he’s not nearly as intimidating as Lex. “Depends. What kind of help are you offering?”
The rain finds its way through the cracked window and wets my jeans. At least it kind of hides the fact that I came just a little while ago and soaked my pants.
Lex seems annoyed by his evasive response. “A ride or a place to stay for the night.”
The man looks ahead at the dark, dreary, wet road. “I could use a place to stay for the night, if it’s not too much trouble.”
“Hop in,” Lex says with an annoyed sigh.
I move over, sidling up to Lex so the man can get in. He has that same smell Lex had—a heavy, earthy aroma that sticks with you long after you dry.
“I’m Jamie,” the man says. His wet clothes soak into mine.
“I’m Ben, and this is my wife,” Lex says.
“Does she have a name?” Jamie asks.
“It doesn’t matter what her name is. She’s my wife and that’s all you need to know.”
Lex is being rude. The guy is only trying to introduce himself to us. He seems innocent enough. I know Lex is mistrustful, and I understand why, but nothing and no one will separate us now. I’m confident of that.
The rest of the drive back to the cabin is heavy and silent, and I fight back my urge to ask why he was walking along the road. The longer he’s in the car with us, the more I worry I’ve made the wrong choice. We worked so hard to find a place where we didn’t have to run anymore, and now I’m putting us at risk because of residual guilt from the robbery.
We pull onto the utility road and take the winding path to the cabin. We get out of the truck once we park in the spot where the tires sink into the familiar section of ground. Lex gets out first and opens the passenger door. His lips draw tightly downward as the rain begins to soak his clothing. The man beside me scoots out of the truck and Lex steps aside so he can get down.
“You live out here?” he asks.
“The fewer questions you ask, the better,” Lex says.
We walk into the cabin, and the heaviness continues past the threshold. As Jamie looks around, I finally get a good look at him. His eyes are as dark as his unruly hair, which has dried, thanks to the heater in the truck. He brushes a hand over his groomed beard and takes off his black jacket. Damp still clings to his white shirt and holds it against his skin.
Lex clears his throat to stop my staring. I’m not staring because I’m attracted to him—and he is attractive—but I want to know more about this strange man from the side of the road. I want to know how his story differs from Lex’s . . . and how it’s the same.
Lex
I hate this. I fucking hate this. Selena is too good, and it puts her into bad situations. Like the night she met me. She’s too trusting. I’ve spent a fair bit of my life on the run, hitchhiking from one place to another, but I was always on the run from something when I held my thumb in the wind. Very few choose to walk along the road and hope for the kindness of strangers. That’s not to say everyone who does is up to no good. Not everyone is like me. But the risk of this man being somewhat like me is too high, and it’s a chance I didn’t want to take. I do things for Selena that I wouldn’t do myself, like heading back to New York when I’m wanted there or leaving half the money during a robbery.
“Why do you limp?” I ask as I toss him a dry shirt.
Jamie grabs the shirt and removes the wet one. Selena’s eyes land on him again, watching his movements. She’s not looking at him like she wants him. She’s looking at him as if she’s curious about him.
“Military,” he says.
I’m not sure I believe him. There’s something not wholly trustworthy in his eyes. Or maybe I just don’t like Selena’s eyes on another man. “You can sleep in that bedroom back there.”
He takes a few steps toward the room. I clear my throat, and he stops.
“I have a couple rules.”
“Anything, man. What’s up?”
“Don’t touch anything that doesn’t belong to you.” I tug Selena into me. “Don’t even let her cross your mind. If you even think about her, I’ll kill you. Do we have an understanding?”
The man nods and turns toward the bedroom. I know he’s been at this for a while because he shows little emotion upon hearing my threat. When someone threatens to kill you, your natural instinct is to escape the situation—even Selena responded that way at first—but he’s worn down that instinct until it’s too dull to react. He just went to the room as if I never said anything at all.
The door closes, and I turn my attention to Selena. “He sure has your attention,” I say as I turn toward her and raise her chin.
“Are you jealous, Ben?” she asks, a smirk crossing her sweet face.
I’m not jealous. I’m possessive. Seeing his eyes on her makes me want to go in there and kill him while he sleeps.
“Mind your eyes, little rabbit. I’d hate to see someone killed because you couldn’t,” I snarl. “Eyes on me, always.”
“My eyes are only for you, Lexington,” she says with a pout.
I growl and lift her up, wrapping her legs around me. Our clothes are damp, but it cools my skin after it heated up from hearing her say my name. She does not want Lexington to come out to play with another man in the house. But she says it again, through a moan as she drops her head back and gives me access to her throat. I bite into her and walk forward until her back hits the wall. I put her down so I can lower her jeans. She slips off her wet shoes and kicks her pants away. I lift her again and kiss her as I work down my jeans and pull my cock out.
“I’ve wanted you since I saw you bent over in front of that clerk. I love how he wanted you.” That’s Lexington coming out to play. The same side of me who wanted to see Selena fucked by her piece of shit husband. Lexington loves her, but not like I do. Not in the same way. I don’t want to see that shit, but I know that nagging thought in the back of my mind is from him.
I lay my cock against her pussy. She’s still coated in her come, so slick and wet for me. I pull my hips back and push inside her. Her arms wrap around my neck as I thrust deeply, and the warmth of her recently pleasured pussy makes me groan. I lean into her and kiss her as I thrust upward, grinding her back into the wooden wall. She whimpers against my lips. When I go to bite her neck, my eyes catch on a shadow in the darkened doorway.
Jamie.
I can’t see his eyes, but I know he’s staring. How could he not? Instead of getting angry at him, I take it out on her cunt. I stare at the shadowy figure and rub my hand up the back of her thigh, lifting her leg and gripping her ass. Lexington loves that he’s staring at us, and that’s the winning feeling as I thrust deeper into her, taking the frustration out on her pussy. The picture frames on the wall above her head rattle with every ounce of the strength I push into her.
The good part of me fights for control. Lexington wants him to watch, wants him to come over here and bury his face in her pussy, but the other side of me recoils at the thought. I told him not to think about her, but how could he think of anything else as he sees the pleasure coursing through her body with every thrust?
“You feel so fucking good, rabbit,” I growl. She goes to turn her head, but I reach up and keep her eyes on me. Her intense gaze brings me close too quickly. It doesn’t help that I’ve been turned on for the last two hours. “I’m going to come,” I tell her. Lexington doesn’t give a shit if Selena comes, but the silky cream of her earlier orgasm still coats her pussy.
I pull out of her and put her on her feet. Only once I put her down does she realize Jamie has been watching us. She reaches for her jeans, her mouth gaped in panic, but I grab her arm and keep her from covering herself. Her eyes roll up to mine, and she looks at me like she did back in the kitchen of her old home.
“Lex,” she says, slow and cautious, like the prey animal she is.
“Don’t just stand there. I know you’re watching, and I know what you want,” I tell Jamie as I take a step back.
“He doesn’t—”
“Now, hitchhiker. Get over here.” I raise my voice. From the look in Selena’s eyes, I know she fears what’s about to happen. Will Lexington ask him to fuck her? Will Lex kill him for looking at what belongs to him?
Maybe both.
Jamie walks over, his eyes darting between us. I grab his shoulder and turn him to face Selena, but she won’t look at him.
Good fucking girl.
“I told you not to think about what belongs to me, yet I saw you watching us from the doorway. I know you thought about what it would feel like to sink inside her. Didn’t you?”
He tries to turn to face me, his tongue trying to wet his dry lips, but I grip his shirt and force him to keep his eyes on Selena.
“Don’t stop watching now, hitchhiker,” I snarl. “This is what you wanted to see, so get a good fucking eyeful now.”
My skin burns hot with anger. White-hot rage blinds me.
Selena looks at me, and her loose lips tighten. She knows. She tries to speak, but it’s too late.
I grip both sides of his head and snap his neck. The thunderous crack breaks the silence of the cabin. His death is instantaneous.
She releases a scream I’ve only heard in her most intense moments of fear. It’s not from someone trying to assault her or kill her. It’s from a fear of me and what I’ve done.
Well, Lexington, but for all intents and purposes, it was me.
“Lex!” she yells. “What the fuck?”
I want to go to her, but the anger and fear in her eyes hold me back. This is why Selena isn’t safe with me. I’m not always in control. Lexington does all the horrible things to people.
I inhale a sharp breath because I know I’m lying to myself. I’ve done really horrible shit as Lex, too, but not to her.
Again, I’m not being truthful. I’ve done some shitty things to her, and I can’t blame those things on the man I used to be.
The man that I am.
“Bunny,” I say, but her panicked breaths wash my voice away. She’s crying, afraid to even look at the man she invited into the truck.
I finally step into her and fist her hair to force her to look at him. “This is who I am, Selena. Unpredictable. Dangerous. If I was a fucking dog, they’d put me to sleep. The courts would have loved to give me that sentence, but I lived in a state that didn’t believe in capital punishment, even though I deserved that. I still deserve that.” My darkened eyes bore into hers. “What I don’t deserve is you.”
“This is all my fault,” she says through sobs. “He died because of me.”
I should tell her it’s not her fault. But it is. “You’re right, Selena. But it’s my fault for letting you talk me into it. I knew the moment he sat in the truck that he wouldn’t leave the cabin alive. I refuse to risk anyone else finding out about where we’re staying.” My words make her cry harder. “But you can’t help being who you are just as much as I can’t help being who I am. I’m a person capable of punishing someone for even thinking about what’s mine.” I shake my head. I pull the truck key from my back pocket and throw it on the table beside her. “I’m going to go take care of this. I expect you to be gone when I get back.”
“Wh-what?” she stammers.
She has to leave. Everything that has happened to us since I took her has been because of me. The situations I’ve put her in. I can’t keep doing this. She’s not safe with me.
No one is.
“I can’t create a life that is safe enough for you. It’s not possible. We can’t play house anymore, Selena. You have to leave.”
“Lex—”
“Now!” I snap, loud enough to startle her. “If you’re not gone by the time I get back, you won’t like how I get rid of you.”
Like a screw twisting into my heart, it hurts to say these things to her, but if I have to take some pain for her to be safe, so be it.
I’ve been through worse.
I grab the man’s arms and drag him toward the back of the cabin. I look at the kid and wonder where he came from and where he was going. I wish I’d asked more about him. Maybe it would have kept me from doing what I did. But a large part of me knows it wouldn’t have mattered. I still would have killed him, even if his body had a backstory attached to it. Now it’s just a body that I have to get rid of because I let him inside the truck in the first place.
Because I listened to the pleas of a kind little rabbit.