His Rogue Luna

Aurelius

POV

My wolf was punishing me. There was no doubt I deserved every second of it, but it was becoming exhausting. He would push through to the surface of skin, forcing my bones to break and for my skin to split, as if I was going to shift, before receding back and leaving me to heal. After I failed to find Artemis, this is the life I had resorted to, to live with the consequences of my actions. The mate bond was crushing me emotionally and my wolf was torturing me physically.

I would sometimes catch a little reprieve from it all, which would bring me small moments of clarity. My mind would wander over to her, trying to recall every feature on her delicate face, every word that passed her soft lips.

I couldn't believe she slipped out of my fingers. How could she disappear so silently? How could she leave so easily? Was this mate bond not hurting her too?

Not nearly as much as you were hurting her, a rough voice snarled in my head. I sighed but didn't correct my wolf. He was right.

"Alpha?" I barely registered the quiet voice. It sounded so muffled and faraway, like it was underwater. Or perhaps I was underwater. The voice hesitantly called again, and all I managed was a grunt.

"We should leave now to make it for the ceremony," the voice was soft, feminine and familiar. It was my beta female, I vaguely registered.

Thankfully, my wolf had enough sense to stop acting out with us meeting the elders so soon. It would do us no good to out ourselves and jeopardise our pack.

I grunted another response to show I had heard. I heard her leave and shuffle back downstairs. I grabbed my already packed suitcase and finally stepped out of my room for the first time in months.

The pack house was eerily silent, a contrast to its usual liveliness. There was no stirring in the large building but just as I made towards the front door, I felt a presence hover behind.

I automatically knew who it was and my shoulders sagged even further, the pain in my chest reigniting with another ache. I turned around to face the little shadow hovering in the hallway, her large crystal eyes glassy with tears.

I stepped forward to move closer to her but she flinched and scurried back. It felt like a huge blow to my chest, my already shattered heart caving in further.

"Rory," I choked out. My voice was hoarse from the lack of use and sounded as broken as I felt.

My sister looked up, her blue eyes so similar to mine searching my face for something. After a moment, she slowly stepped back out into the hallway, still maintaining a large distance between us.

"Is this it?" She whispered. I furrowed my brow, unsure of what exactly she meant. "Is this what this pack has been reduced to? Condemned to live in fear?" Her voice rose with each question until she was a little above shouting.

I wasn't sure if it was the hardness in her usually soft tone or the harshness of her words that left me at a loss for a response.

It was as if reality had suddenly struck me. I saw myself through the eyes of my sister, my family and my pack. I was a ticking time bomb in their eyes, with no real clue as to when I would next explode, leaving destruction and chaos in my wake.

It was like some sick and twisted prophecy had come to fruition, whereby I would follow the bloody footsteps of my mother. In a twisted fate, I had become the insane and feral leader that I do feared.

And to think I had hurt my own mate in fear of her becoming the same thing I now am.

The irony was poetic and had it been any other time, I would have mulled over it more and maybe even laughed a little, but as of right now, I was suddenly overwhelmed by the crushing guilt of letting everyone down.

My knees buckled under the sudden realisation and I hit the floor, my chest suddenly seizing and wracking with painful sobs.

My mind was stuck replaying the events of that dreadful night, watching my mother tear apart innocent people. Her glowing eyes had locked onto my frozen state before she began charging towards me, ready to tear me apart in her haze of bloodlust. It was unbearable to think my pack saw me the same way, an uncontrollable man lost to his beast.

Artemis was right to run away. I realised I never held it against her for disappearing. She got out while she could and she was safe from this monster I was.

Her sweet golden eyes filled my mind and a soft pink smile. I longed to hear her voice again, her silky feminine tone and her sweet laughter.

The mate bond in my chest flared with more pain, bringing another wrack of painful sobs. I felt two small arms wrap around my shoulder, fingers running through my hair as I leaned into my sister.

For a while I just cried, letting my tears soak my sisters stomach as she stood above me, silently comforting me.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, leaning back to wipe my face. I looked up at my little Rory, her face unreadable.

"So am I," she sighed, turning around to leave. Before she could disappear, she glanced over her shoulder at me, eyeing me for a moment before speaking up again. "I hope you find a way to fix this. I'm not sure how much longer we'll survive without a leader," And with that, she disappeared, leaving me still on the floor, contemplating what I should do next.