SWNOVELS Chapter 21
Annie Whipple.
X
GRAYSON
I had never loved Belle more than I did at that moment. I had never been more proud of her.
I had never been more frustrated with her.
I paced back and forth behind the back of her apartment building, my entire body reverberating with growls. The building was run down and falling apart and definitely not fit for my woman.
I wanted nothing more than to go in there, throw her over my shoulder again, and take her to a five–star hotel.
There I would hand–feed her the best food money could buy, rub her tired feet, and tuck her into bed with my arms wrapped around her.
I could feel her sadness and devastation through the bond. She had stopped crying about an hour ago but was still awake.
The quiet shuffling I heard from her window every once in a while told me that she couldn’t sleep.
I felt ridiculous. Here I was, an alpha–no, the king of the supernatural, dammit–standing outside my mate’s apartment like a pathetic stalker, desperate to catch any sort of glimpse of her.
Even the slight shifting of her open window curtains from the wind made my heart race.
It was midnight, and her apartment light was still on. I continued to pace beneath her window, never taking my eyes away from the glass.
My chest wouldn’t stop vibrating from my wolf’s constant growling. He missed his mate just as much as I did. Even my vampire missed her, although he had barely spent any time with her.
My jaw clenched. Why the hell was she still awake? She had been working her ass off all day. I thought I had brought her home to rest, not to stay up all night.
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I knew she was exhausted. She must be in so much pain, too, pain caused by her resisting the mate bond and continuing to keep me out of her mind.
If she would just let me in, let me comfort her through the bond, she would understand how much I missed her. Needed her. Regretted everything that had happened.
I froze when I saw a slight movement from behind the glass of her window. My breathing stalled. Belle slowly approached the window, eyes puffy and checks stained with tears.
She was still in her waitressing uniform, although it was wrinkled now from wearing it all day.
She looked outside hesitantly, with her arms wrapped securely around her waist the way she did when she was feeling vulnerable.
I knew she could feel me watching her by the way her body relaxed just the tiniest bit, taking comfort in the feeling of my gaze on her.
And then, although it was dark out and I was sure she couldn’t see me, her gaze found me, staring
for a few moments.
I couldn’t control it when my vampire and wolf both came surging forward, trying to get a better look at their mate. I was grateful for the darkness. I didn’t want my bright red eyes scaring her.
Her hand raised and rested gently on the window glass as if she were reaching out to me. My wolf whimpered. I took a step forward, barely able to hold myself back.
A tear fell down her cheek.
My heart utterly shattered. Without thinking, I approached her, needing to hold her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay.
With trembling hands, she slammed her window shut and tugged her curtains closed, blocking my view of her. I stopped walking, knowing she was telling me she wanted me nowhere near her.
She started crying again. I could hear her constant sobs that she was trying so hard to suppress event through her closed window. And there was nothing I could do.
All I could do was stand there and hope she would eventually let me in, let me explain what had really happened.
***
Belle had finally fallen asleen a little over an hour later. thank God. After crving- sobbing herself Chapter 21 of 59: Chapter 21
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I was sitting beneath a tree right outside Belle’s apartment, staring up at her window. I had never felt so useless, so helpless in all my life. I didn’t know how to do this.
Keeping my distance was killing me–and her. I knew the bond was causing her so much pain because I was so near, trying to give her the final push to force us together.
But she was so damned stubborn and wouldn’t do what was good for her.
The image of my mark on her neck entered my mind. It was so swollen that it took the form of a giant lump. It was surrounded by small boils and was no doubt infected.
I couldn’t even imagine how much it hurt. It made me physically ill to think about how much pain she was in and to know that, at least for the moment, there was nothing I could do to help.
At this point in our relationship, we should have been fully mated, and the mark should be nothing more than a small, white scar on her neck, only visible if you are looking for it.
But because Belle and I had been apart for so long, because she denied the bond, it was huge and irritated, a consequence of our starving mate bond.
A sudden and horrifying scream of terror broke me from my thoughts, coming from Belle’s apartment.
I immediately knew something was wrong with my mate and was on my feet and sprinting toward
her in under a second.
I jumped up to her window without a problem and pried it open, swiftly ducking into her room and. landing on my feet with ease.
I searched the small room for threats but was confused when I found none.
My frantic gaze found Belle. She was on the bed, very obviously still asleep. But she was whimpering and tossing and turning.
A deep frown was settled on her beautiful face, and tears were streaming down from her tightly shut eyes. She was having a nightmare.
Another shriek of terror came from her mouth, shattering my soul. “No!” she screamed, still asleep. “Please, no!”
I approached her quickly, careful to stay quiet so as not to wake her up. If she woke D and found me
in here, she would be even more terrified than she was now.
up
“Belle hahy” I whispered as I knelt down next to her bed. I had to ignore the fact that it was just a Chapter 21 of 59: Chapter 21
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mattress on the floor in an effort to keep some sort of trace of my sanity.
Her body was covered by a simple, thin blanket. She was shivering, goosebumps appearing on her arms, her nipples pointing through her thin tank top. My hands twitched with the need to touch her.
“Grayson,” her terrified voice said.
My shoulders dropped as I sighed. “I’m here, baby, I’m here.”
“No!” she suddenly screamed out. “Grayson, please, no! Please, don’t….”
My stomach hit the floor in realization. She was having a nightmare about… me. She was dreaming that I was hurting her… forcing myself on her.
“Tm sorry!” Belle continued. Hex was obstructed by her tears. “I’m sorry. Please don’t-”
“Belle, God, no,” I whispered. I gently took her hand in mine. “Shh…,” I said. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m never going to hurt you again.”
I thought hearing my voice would help her, but it did the complete opposite. She struggled more the moment she heard me speaking to her as she tried to pry her hand out of mine. I wasn’t having any
of it.
My voice might terrify her, but my touch shouldn’t. She’s been deprived of it for so long.
The more Belle started to kick and scream, her nightmare worsening, the more desperate I became to calm her. I had to do something.
I crawled into bed next to her and wrapped my arms around her, tugging her flush against my form.
For a moment, she struggled against me, pounding her tiny fists against me and kicking in her sleep.
It didn’t affect my hold on her. In fact, I just tightened my grip, draping one leg over her and letting my hand go up the back of her shirt to rest on the bare skin of the small of her back, grounding her
to me.
I held her tightly, feeling her shaking against me.
It was then that I realized how broken she really was. I could feel her prominent spine against my hand on the small of her back.
Her cheeks were caved in, and the outline of her ribs prodded against my stomach. It made me
wonder when the last time she ate was.
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I had been watching her work all day and didn’t see her take a break once, not even to eat something after I had demanded it of her. Did she have a source of food?
1 frowned and hugged her closer to me. I would make sure she ate tomorrow, even if she didn’t know it was me who was providing the food for her.
Her body eventually stopped struggling against me, recognizing the touch of her mate. I sighed. deeply in relief. She was still shaking, and there were still tears leaking from her closed eyes, but at least she was calm.
“Grayson,” she whispered in her sleep. “Please… I’m sorry…”
My wolf whimpered. “No,” I said, desperation leaking from my tone. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” I hoped she could hear me even if she was still asleep.
“You did nothing wrong. You hear me, Belle? I’m the one who should be sorry. I made the mistake, not you. I love you so much. You have to know that. I love you so fucking much.”
“Grayson,” she whimpered again..
I sighed and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “Shh…,” I mumbled against her hairline. “You’re okay now. I’m here, and you’re okay. Relax now, my love. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
As if I had issued a command, her body slowly began to still its shaking, and she sighed contently.
She unconsciously moved closer to me, finding comfort in the arms of her mate, and nuzzled her face into my chest, right where she belonged. I felt the tightness in my chest release a bit.
Unable to help myself, I leaned down and licked the angry mark on her neck. I knew it wouldn’t do much to heal it in the long run, but it would relieve her pain for now.
The only way to truly heal it and the bond would be to remain in physical contact with her. It would feed the bond that was so obviously starving.
It was either that or mate, but that was more complicated now.
Mating no longer meant merely completing the mate bond and linking her to me forever, but now the consequence was an unknown shift for Belle.
I hadn’t forgotten that Belle would shift into a fairy after we mated for the first time; I had just chosen to push it out of my mind for the time being.
I didn’t want to think about her going through a painful shift after I made love to her, something I
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had no control over because we would eventually have to mate or risk starving the bond even further.
Belle whined against my chest, moving her neck to the side so I would have access to my mark. She wanted me to take care of it for her.
I happily lapped at it, more than willing to take care of my mate in whatever way she needed.
Eventually, Belle fell into a deeper sleep, finding peace in my arms. When was the last time she slept properly?
Based on the dark circles beneath her eyes and the look of exhaustion I saw on her face, it had to have been around the same time I had, if not before that.
I wondered if the bond let her sleep at all. Was she in too much pain?
I struggled to keep my cool and not let my wolf take over. I had to remind myself that I had Belle back now.
It might take a while to fix what I broke and make her trust me again, but I had her in my arms, and she was getting some much–needed rest. That was all that mattered.
“Sh….” I continued whispering against her ear, basking in the feeling of her relaxing into me for the first time in months. “I love you, Belle. I love you. I’m so sorry.”
We stayed like that for the rest of the night. I didn’t let myself fall asleep, not wanting to accidentally stay here until morning but also not wanting to let Belle out of my arms.
I studied her for most of it, holding back my wolf’s angry growls every time I noticed how broken and frail she looked.
Our time apart had really taken a toll on her, but, God, she was so strong. Not many would be able to make it through three months without their mate, especially before completing the mating ritual.
Our bodies were already gravitating toward each other, trying to force us to mate. It would have been painful at this point even if she hadn’t run from me.
I sighed when the sun began to rise hours later. I shifted, knowing I should get up so that Belle didn’t freak out when she woke up.
The moment I moved, though, Belle whimpered and pressed her frail body closer to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and stuffed her face into it.
My chest tightened. I wanted to stay with her more than anything in the world. And I knew that Belle wanted me to stay too; she just wouldn’t let her conscious self give in to that need.
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1 groaned quietly when she threw one of her legs over my waist, unknowingly pressing her hot core up against mine and nuzzling further into my neck, taking in deep breaths of my scent.
“I know, love, I know,” I whispered against her hair. I inhaled deep breaths of her scent, too, before placing a final kiss on her forchend.
“I have to go now, beautiful, but rest assured I’m not leaving you. I’ll be right behind you wherever you go, protecting you and making sure you’re okay.
**You just let me know when you need me, and I’ll be there, okay?” I tilted her head up gently so I could see her beautiful sleeping face.
I smiled softly when I noticed she had some color back in her checks. She didn’t look so tired and pale anymore. Good.
“Please. Please talk to me soon. Please, just listen to what I have to say. I love you. I need you in my
life.”
Moving as slowly and gently as I could, I disentangled myself from my mate and pushed myself away from her, grunting through the physical pain it caused me.
My entire body burned with the need to get back in bed and press Belle back against me for the rest of eternity.
Male werewolves found it extremely hard to be away from their mates, especially when they were in
pain.
We could go mad with the need to nurse them back to health and ensure that whatever hurt them. never went near them again.
I was going against my very nature by putting even a foot of distance between us.
I ignored my wolf and vampire that were pushing me to stay. They were only making my inner
turmoil worse.
They didn’t understand that to get her back, we had to stay away. We had to give her space so she knew we would never force her into anything ever again.
I grunted when my wolf seized control of my body and suddenly pushed me back so hard that my body slammed onto the bed, barely missing Belle’s sleeping form.
My gaze snapped to look at her. She was still asleep, thank goodness. Her ability to sleep w
only reminded me of how badly she needed rest.
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