Chapter 99
Camille POV.
"Are you sure they said Scott Martinez?" Rika asked hesitatingly and I nodded without tearing my eyes off the window. "When did you get the call?"
"At 1 in the morning," I answered. My voice was devoid of emotion. "They told me he..." I bit into my lower lip and clenched my trembling fingers into fists. "They told me he has just a few weeks left." I felt someone just hammer my heart when those words left my mouth. I have been uneasy, and impatient for the past eighteen hours. I didn't even know how to feel at that moment. "Did you know about his health when you were living with him?" Her voice cracked as she swallowed hard. "I mean you must have known about..."
"No." I shook my head. "He never told me."
"You should have..." Her voice trailed off.
"Known about his health condition," I completed her bitterly as I turned my head to stare into her eyes. "It was my fault."
"Of course, not." Rika licked her dry lips, letting out a heavy sigh. "I'm scared, Cami. I'm just scared for you. I don't know how you will react when you confront him."
I said nothing as I wrapped my arms around myself tightly and closed my eyes. I just didn't want to think about anything, not about him, not about me, and not about Colette. I wanted peace. Sometimes it was better to feel empty. After a while, We reached the hospital and Conan was already there talking to the doctor. It was agonizing to go to his room and look at him, knowing that he was about to die. When Conan noticed us, he exchanged a few words with the doctor and dismissed him. A look of grief and sadness appeared on his face when he caught my eyes. I hated that look. I hated hurt and regret. I held my chin up and looked right into his eyes, though I was cracking from the inside. "Are you sure you want to meet him?" He asked me as if he sensed my terror.
Gulping hard I gave him a nod. I have barely been able to speak since I got that news. My insides were screaming not to go near him, but I was determined to face him. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to be there with him. "I'm ready." My voice thickened with emotions.
He nodded, leading me down the hallway. I gripped the fabric of my t-shirt as my palms were sweaty due to agitation. My heartbeat got louder and my breath shook with every step that brought me closer to his room. I followed Conan with my head bowed and my eyes fixed on my shoes. Finally, I heard the creaking of the door and a moment later I was inside his room. I could feel cold there.
As peaceful as he was, so was the room. He was not speaking, and he was moving. He was just lying on the bed. The only noise I could hear was the monitor beeping next to his bed. I looked at the white floors, white walls, and white lights. It was difficult to look straight at him. I knew he was breathing but he was unaware of my presence. He didn't know I was there to meet him. Conan stepped aside, letting me see Scott in bed.
My eyebrows crinkled as I walked closer to his bed. I slapped my hand on my mouth when I saw him. I just saw him after four months and two weeks. The man on the bed was not the man I once fell in love with. He was not the man who fell in love with me. He was not the father of my daughter. He was completely unrecognizable to me. He was bald, his skin was colorless, his lips were blue and his cheeks were sunken. He had lost so much weight that I could see his bones through his skin. If it was not for a monitor that showed his heartbeat and pulse rate I would have assumed that he was dead.
A moment later I heard a noise. Loud noise escaped my mouth. To keep this noise down, I covered my mouth. I was unable to contain my emotions. It flooded out in the form of tears and sobs. My knees buckled and I collapsed on the floor, crying harder. I knew he would not listen to me. I knew he would not wake up if I told him he could meet Colette. He went so far away from us. He was leaving us. Scott Martinez would not come back.
"Cami..." Rika sat next to me. I heard her sobbing. "God, Cami. It's okay."
"I hate him! I hate him so much, Rika!" I growled, clenching my hands. I felt sick. Clenching my stomach I dashed into the bathroom and threw up hard. I coughed and threw up again. My vision was blurry from the tears. "Camille..." Conan walked inside and stroked my back. I stood up and washed my face, breathing hard. "Brace yourself. You need to get out of here."
He held my hand and dragged me out, but I didn't move. "I don't want to leave him alone," I whispered.
"I'm afraid you won't..." He pulled me out of the bathroom and I looked at Scott.
"But why?"
"Because nobody is allowed to stay here," Conan said. "Hospital staff will take care of him."
My jaw clenched as I snapped my eyes angrily. "I'll be staying with him."
Conan sighed, defeated. "I'll talk to the doctor." He walked away, leaving us. Rika reached out to me and pulled me into a tight hug. "I'm sorry, Cami. I really am sorry."
I just clutched her body like she was saving me from the panic I had been suffering for hours. I felt so weak and shaken at that point that I needed someone to support me. I couldn't do anything. I had never been on this stage before. It just happened in the blink of an eye. I had seen my mother dying, I had seen my father dying and I even saw my brother dying but Scott. Oh God, I felt like I would not be able to make it if he was dead. I just couldn't see him leaving me. I knew I would not bear his death.
"Why didn't he tell me, Rika? Why didn't he tell me how he was feeling?" I whispered on her shoulder.
"Because he promised himself that he would not make you suffer. He knew how you would react to his chronic disease. You remember he asked you to be with him for six months. He probably knew that he would not make it through. He just wanted to spend the last few months with you and Colette."
I just hated Rika talking about him like he would be dead. They believed that he would not make it through. "I don't know how to take this news." My lips trembled. "What should I tell Colette?"
"Just give yourself some time, Cami. You need some time to process everything in your head."
"I was so blinded by revenge that I was unable to see the pain he was suffering."
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"I saw his medical reports, Rika." I choked. "I remember him lashing out at me when I read through his report without his consent. I knew that he was hiding something from me but I never tried to find out because I was too consumed with hatred. You know he often forgets things and sometimes reacts very strangely. Sometimes he gets impatient and uneasy in the middle of the night. I never asked him what had happened to him. One day I tried to search his cabinet but he appeared out of nowhere. He didn't even let me touch his phone. How am I supposed to know? I found two weeks ago that he kept his medicines in his mansion and rode every night to take them." I bit into my lower lip. "Amos told me Scott didn't have enough money to afford doctor fees and medicines when we took his wealth. He asked Amos to lend him a few bucks so that he could buy some painkillers."
"Why didn't he ask you instead?"
"I knew he would never ask me. I wish I could take back all the words I told him four months ago."
35
Rika stayed with me for hours before she left to look after Colette. She was alone with the nanny. I was sitting on the couch, staring at a moving body. Rising to my feet, I walked slowly toward him. I just couldn't stand his sight. That all happened because of me. I reached out with his bony finger and touched it. I almost shivered to find out how cold his body was, maybe because of the low room temperature or maybe because he had left so little life in him. He looked like he had no blood left in his body because he looked so pale and yellow. I stared at him for a few minutes until my heart accepted the reality. It was not a nightmare but a reality.
He is dying.
He has just a few days.
He will not make it through.
I leaned forward and kissed the back of his hand. "I swear, I won't let you go in our next birth. I will slap you hard until you come to your senses if you treat me cruelly in the next birth. If my mother asks me to leave you because you are poor I will make you rich. If your twin brother harms me I'll make you harm him. I won't let you fall in love with Maura and I won't fall in love with Conan. Not only Colette but also Shawn or Shion will be joining us in our small family in our next birth." I smiled sadly. "My love for you never died, Scott. I have been in love with you since the day you stepped into my life. Come on, I never wanted you to die..." I intertwined my fingers with his. "I don't know if you're listening to me or not but I want to make one request." I breathed shakily. "If you get any chance to come in live again please fight for us, Scott. Please fight for your daughter."