SWNOVELS His Hollow Heart: Chapter 10
Callum
“Dock us now!” I shout over the riotous downpour bombarding us. The boat catches in a gust of wind and sways us too far to the right. “Get it under control or I’ll hire someone who knows how to drive a goddamn boat!”
Holding tightly to a limp Bella, I look down at her. She’s pallid and unresponsive, but she has a pulse, so I know she’s still alive. Her lips are slightly parted and each breath flares her sprinkled nostrils just a tad. She’s always hated those freckles, while I’d always told her they were cute as shit. Now, I’m not so sure I like them. I’m not sure I like anything about her. Not her curls that no longer cover her entire head but just the very ends of her hair. Definitely not her pink, plump lips. And most certainly not the way she lies perfectly in my arms like her body was molded to fit with mine. No. I don’t like any of it. In fact, I downright hate it.
Months before Bella arrived, I’d remind myself daily that all of this is an act of revenge. I will not fall under her spell. I refuse to be manipulated, just so she can pull the rug out from under me again and send me free-falling into twelve more years of hell. No. Falling for this girl is not an option. Everything I went through—everything I am—is because of her.
Another gust of wind whirls, sending strands of her hair over her face. I use my forearm to try and sweep them away from her mouth but fail horribly. Hail the size of marbles begins beating down on the boat, so I lean forward, using my body to shield hers.
I’m not sure why I do it, but I don’t stop as I tug her closer. Her cheek presses firmly against my chest and I hold her like her life depends on it.
“I never took you to be a complete idiot, Bella,” I say, looking down at her. Who the fuck goes out in a rowboat with a board as a paddle in the midst of a tropical storm?
We finally stop at the dock and Leo, the captain, begins tying the boat up. I don’t even hesitate to cradle Bella in my arms as I stand. She’s ice-cold and if she doesn’t get warm immediately, hypothermia could set in.
“Anders,” I say to my head security guard who rode along with us. “Page Joel and get him out here.” Anders has been with me for a few years, but Joel has only been on my payroll for a short six months, and I should have known better than to trust the reference of a strip club bouncer.
Peter is waiting with an umbrella when my feet hit solid ground. He holds it over my head immediately and I scowl at him as water rolls down my face.
“I’m sorry, sir. We didn’t—”
“Don’t!” I reply sternly.
Joel comes walking amply down the beaten path, as if we aren’t all standing here in the rain waiting on his sorry ass.
Anders joins my side and I abruptly hand Bella to him. He catches her, cradling her in the same manner I was. “Take her to my sitting room and wrap her in a blanket. This won’t take long.” My eyes are held tightly to Joel’s as he comes closer.
Peter hovers over me with an umbrella, and I swat it away. “Cover her. Not me.”
I close the space between Joel and me, but before he can even come to a complete stop, I cock my fist back and plant it right between his eyes. He stumbles backward but doesn’t fall, so I grab him by the head with both hands and lift my knee straight to his chin. Just as I release him, I look up and see Bella’s watchful eyes. Her expression is blank, but she’s just bore witness to the monster I’ve become—the monster she made me.
Joel lets out a low grumble but doesn’t dare try and defend himself. “Get the fuck off my island.” Giving him a push, he finally hits the ground and I walk past him.
Leo will be escorting him off the island. He’s lucky he won’t be getting dumped in the middle of the bay.
Blood runs down my hand, dripping to the ground as the rain washes it away. My feet move at a leisurely pace as I make no attempt to outrun the storm that’s only strengthening with each passing minute. A little rain never hurt anyone. In fact, storms are one of the few things that make me feel alive anymore. There’s nothing quite like the cleanse of a downpour while the sky opens up and shouts back at you. I’ve had my fair share of screaming matches with the atmosphere. It seems to hate me enough to keep me here no matter how many times I’ve tried to leave.
It was all for this—every beating from the world, every hurdle I’ve jumped—it all happened to bring me here, with her.
I make it up to my floor and pause in the doorway to the sitting room beside Peter. He’s peering into the room with his hands folded behind his back. “As you can see, she’s awake. Though, I’m not sure she’s totally coherent. She seems to be in somewhat of a disorientated state, likely from being out in the cold rain for so long. I’ve laid some dry clothes out beside her, but she’s made no attempt to change.”
We both just survey her as if she’s some bizarre lifeform. “Thank you, Peter. Please have the cook make her some soup and hot tea.”
Peter acknowledges me with a nod and steps around me.
I press both hands to the doorframe and just watch her. On the floor in front of the blazing fireplace with a white shag rug beneath her. She’s curled herself into a ball with a cream-colored throw blanket wrapped securely around her. Her brown hair is now black as water drips, soaking the blanket on her back.
For a moment, I forgot that I’m also drenched. My shoes squeak as I move closer to her, but she doesn’t even flinch at the sound of me drawing near.
Vulnerability at its finest. I could choose to beat her down a few more pegs and throw another reminder of the past in her face, or I can savor this serene moment of placidity between us. I’ve got little fight left in me today and I prefer not to rile her up and risk a slap in the face. No, I’ll save that for the morning.
Right now, Bella needs out of these wet clothes. She needs warmth, food, and rest.
Crouching down, I slowly slide the blanket down her back. She offers no recognition of my presence in the room. My head tilts forward and I inhale the scent of her wet hair. She smells of earth and rain.
With a shaky hand, I touch the ends of her hair. Damaged remnants that probably took years to grow to this length. Twelve years, perhaps. Is it possible that these were baby hairs growing all those years ago? The last hair on her head I touched before she left me.
I’ll never understand how this beautiful girl was ever a hand-me-down. Passed along from person to person because no one wanted to keep her. She’s the epitome of perfection and grace, aside from that dirty mouth of hers.
Bending at the waist, I peer around her shoulder and look at her face. Wide open eyes with dancing flames in them as she stares into the fire. She’s completely void of any emotion at this moment. Hands folded neatly in her lap, back straight as a board.
I move to the front of her, kneeling in my waterlogged clothes. Breaking her gaze on the fire, her eyes bore into mine, but she doesn’t make a sound.
“I’m going to take these wet clothes off you,” I tell her, making her aware of my intentions. I will surely have my way with Bella, but tonight is not the night for that.
In a gentle motion, I grip the bottom of her shirt and lift it up to pull it over her head. She doesn’t fight me off as her chest is exposed to me. I drop the heavy shirt on the floor beside the rug and bite hard at my bottom lip as I ward off temptation. Her cleavage peeks out of her black bra and I’m mesmerized by her silky, peach-colored skin. There’s an insatiable need to touch her. To taste every inch of her body and remind myself of what I’ve missed all these years.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. When I found Bella last year, I had a plan. Get her here and make her miserable for leaving me by keeping her forever. She ate right out of my hand when she signed that contract. I wanted to punish her, but not in the same way I punished everyone who hurt us. Her punishment was as simple as giving me the next twelve years of her life to make up for the lost time.
I watched her. I held back as I waited for the right time. Months passed as I witnessed her relationship blossom with that son of a bitch, Trent. I saw family dinners from the yard outside of her house. I stole glances as she slept peacefully in her bed. I fought off the urge to smother her with a pillow one night before the plan of taking my own life, just so we could hold true to the pact—always stay together, until kingdom come.
Months of misery that were nothing compared to the years of pure torture.
Now, she’s here and the only thing I desire is her.
“I want to go home,” Bella finally speaks through a cracked voice.
My fingers slide featherlike up her arm, leaving a footpath of goosebumps. “You are home,” I whisper into the thin space between us. Taking her hand, I lift her up and she follows suit as we get to our feet.
“I’m going to take your pants off now.” As I crouch down, I look up at her for approval, determined not to take advantage of her vulnerable state. She peers down at me with sadness in her eyes but doesn’t fend me off when I tug at the waistband of her black cotton pants. They slide down with ease, leaving a trail of dampness behind. Her legs part slightly, allowing me to pass her thighs and when they reach the bottom, she lifts her foot and steps out of them. I place a hand on her calf and slide it up, sweeping away the water droplets.
Water continues to drop freely from the ends of her hair, hitting me in the face as she glances down at me. My heart rattles against my rib cage as I slide my hand up farther, stopping at her inner thigh. I squeeze slightly and draw in a deep breath, reminding myself that there will be plenty of time to explore every crack and crevice. And I will. I want to memorize every scar, blemish, and mark on her fragile body.
“Callum, I…” Her words come to a halt when my head snaps back up to look at her.
“You called me Callum. Why?” She never calls me Callum, even when I asked her to.
“I’m cold.”
Of course she is. I push myself up and stand, bringing the blanket up with me. Airing it out with a fluff, I wrap it around her. It hangs freely over her shoulders as she makes no move to hold it.
“Come with me.” I place an arm around her neck, holding the blanket in place. We walk side by side out of the sitting room, and my nerves begin to heighten as we approach my bedroom. I stop abruptly a foot away from the door and try to calm my racing heart.
I can’t bring her there.
Yes. Yes, I can. This isn’t just somebody, this is Bella. My Bella.
Trembling, I reach into my pocket and pull out the master skeleton key that opens every door in this place. I look at Bella before sticking it into the lock. She’s still void of expression, but her color is starting to return.
I can’t do it.
“This way.” I jerk her by the arm and walk steadfast back down the hall to her bedroom.
The blanket falls to the floor and Bella stumbles, almost tripping over it, but I continue to pull her along, picking up my pace. When we reach her door, I open it up, give her a nudge inside, then slam it shut—with me on the other side.
Two hands hit the side of my head as I clench my hair and pull with all my might.
Fuck. That was too close. I was seconds away from allowing her into my sanctuary. The one place that is only mine—a place where I’m untouchable and free to unleash my demons.
I can’t let my guard down like that again.