Chapter 38
I grip Julie’s hand tightly as the ambulance races into the night. The paramedics had quickly assessed her condition, determining that she likely had a concussion. Her consciousness came and went, her words slurred and disjointed as she fought to stay awake.
I couldn’t bear to be separated from her so I insisted on riding in the ambulance, kneeling beside her stretcher. The paramedic riding in the back worked around us, attaching monitors and administering oxygen. Every so often, Julie would push the mask off her face, her eyes searching for mine, her grip on my hand tightening.
In one of her more lucid moments after pulling the mask down, she gripped my hand tightly in hers. Her voice was urgent, a startling clarity in her eyes as she said, ‘Ivan, tell the doctor I’m pregnant.’ The words hit me like a physical blow, a revelation that sent my heart into overdrive.
‘Pregnant?’ I echoed, my voice barely more than a whisper. A surge of emotions flooded through me all at once—joy, fear, surprise. ‘Julie, how long have you known?’
Before she can answer her eyes flutter, and she slips back into unconsciousness. The paramedic quickly replaces the mask over her face.
I sit there, stunned, my mind whirling. Pregnant. We’re going to have a baby. The joy of the news battles with the uncertainty of Julie’s condition and the horror of what just occurred.
I hold her hand, watching her every breath, every slight movement. The paramedics reassure me that they are doing everything they can, but the ride to the hospital feels like an eternity.
As the ambulance speeds through the streets of New York, the city lights blur past us in a stream of colors. I keep whispering to her, telling her to hold on, that everything is going to be okay, that our baby needs her, that I need her.
My mind races with plans and promises, a future that suddenly seems both bright and frighteningly uncertain. The weight of responsibility, the need to protect and provide for my family, feels both overwhelming and invigorating.
The ambulance finally screeches to a halt at the hospital, and the paramedics quickly wheel Julie in. I follow close behind, my heart in my throat, conjuring the courage to be able to deal with whatever comes next. As we rush into the ER, I make a silent vow to Julie and our unborn child that I will do whatever it takes to keep them safe, to give them the life they deserve.
Under the fluorescent lights of the hospital waiting room, I pace back and forth, each step marking my mounting anxiety and restless thoughts. The antiseptic smell of the hospital mingles with the scent of fear and uncertainty that seems to permeate the air. My mind is a whirlwind of regret and worry, replaying the events that led us here, each moment a sharp stab of self-reproach.
I keep seeing Julie’s face, the way she looked at me in the ambulance, the urgency in her voice when she revealed her pregnancy. My heart clenches at the memory, weighed down by a heavy mix of love and guilt. I should have told her I loved her then and there, should have expressed the depth of my feelings when I had the chance. But the words remained unspoken, trapped within me.
I force myself to breathe, to remain calm, but a gnawing fear for our unborn child tugs at my consciousness. The day’s trauma, the violence and stress, will our baby be able to survive it? The thought causes a sharp pang in my chest, hope and dread battling within me.
I resume my pacing, my footsteps a rhythmic reminder of the helplessness I feel. The waiting is agonizing, each second stretching into an eternity. I want to be with her, to hold her hand, to be there when she wakes up. But all I can do is wait, trapped in a limbo of uncertainty.
The doctors had been guarded in their responses, their professional demeanor doing little to ease my worries. They spoke of monitoring her concussion and vitals of the need to assess any potential complications with the pregnancy. Their words were clinical, but the underlying message was clear—the next few hours would be critical.
As I continue my anxious pacing, the door to the waiting room opens, immediately drawing my attention. Fyodor walks in, his expression grim, accompanied by Barb. She looks disheveled, her usual sharp appearance clouded by distress and anger. The sight of her in such a state deepens the knot of worry in my stomach.
‘Barb, what happened?’ I ask, my voice tinged with concern as I approach them.
She shakes her head, her eyes blazing with a mix of fury and pain. ‘I got home just as they were loading that bastard Calvin into the ambulance,’ she spits out, her voice trembling with rage. ‘He told me what he did, the lowlife. If I’d had a gun, I swear I would’ve shot him again myself.’
Fyodor places a comforting hand on her shoulder, but she seems too consumed by her emotions to notice. ‘He set Julie up, Ivan. Lured her out with a lie about me being hurt. And now…’ Her voice cracks, revealing the fear beneath her anger.
I feel a surge of protectiveness, both for Julie and Barb. ‘I’m sorry, Barb. This is all my fault. If I hadn’t—’
Barb cuts me off, her eyes locking onto mine. ‘Don’t you dare start with that ‘it’s all my fault’ crap, Ivan. We both know who’s to blame here, and it’s not you nor is it me.’ Her fierceness is a testament to her strength, even in the face of such betrayal and turmoil.
Fyodor interjects, trying to diffuse the tension. ‘We’re all on edge right now. The important thing is that Julie is safe, and we’re going to make sure she stays that way.’
Barb nods. ‘You’re damn right we will. And as for Calvin…’ She trails off, her gaze hardening. ‘Let’s just say he’s going to regret the day he ever crossed paths with me.’
I look between them, grateful for their support but weighed down by the enormity of the situation. I sit down in one of the chairs. ‘I should’ve seen this coming,’ I admit, my guilt resurfacing. ‘I thought I’d left that world behind, but it came back to haunt us all.’
‘We’ll deal with it, Ivan. Together,’ Fyodor says, his voice steady. ‘Right now, our focus is on Julie and the baby. We’ll handle whatever comes after.’
Barb nods in agreement, her earlier rage giving way to a new focus. ‘We’re here for you, Ivan. For Julie. Whatever it takes, we’ll get through this.’
Their words are a small comfort in the sea of uncertainty that surrounds us. I nod, feeling a renewed sense of purpose. ‘Thank you, both of you. Right now, all I can do is wait and hope that Julie and our child are going to be okay.’
In the midst of my guilt-ridden thoughts, the doctor emerges, drawing all of our attention. He looks around the room, his eyes settling on me.
‘Mr. Stepanov?’ he asks, his tone professional yet empathetic.
I stand up immediately, my heart racing. ‘Yes, that’s me. How is she? How’s Julie?’
The doctor offers a small, reassuring smile. ‘She’s stable. She’s been asking for you. Would you like to see her?’ It’s a foolish question.
Relief washes over me, mingled with lingering concern. ‘Yes, absolutely. But how is she really? And the baby?’
He hesitates for a moment, choosing his words carefully. ‘She’s suffered a severe concussion due to multiple blows to her head, but she’s conscious and responsive. As for the pregnancy, it’s still early, but we’re monitoring her closely.’
I nod, my mind racing with a mix of relief and worry not to mention an even greater hatred toward Boris for hurting her. ‘Can I go in now?’
‘Yes, of course,’ the doctor replies, gesturing toward the corridor.
I turn to Barb and Fyodor, anxious expressions on their faces. ‘I’ll let you know how she’s doing as soon as I can,’ I promise them.
Barb nods, her expression softening. ‘Tell her we’re here for her, Ivan.’
‘And if there’s anything she needs, anything at all, you let us know,’ Fyodor adds.
I give them a grateful nod, feeling the sincerity of their support. ‘I will. Thank you both.’
With a deep breath, I follow the doctor down the hallway, every fiber of my being aching to see Julie. I enter the room to find Julie lying there, a bandage wrapped around her head, but her eyes are open, and there’s a smile on her face. It’s a sight that both relieves and pains me.
‘Julie,’ I breathe out, rushing to her side, taking her hands in mine. I can barely contain the emotions surging through me.
She tries to speak but I interrupt her, my words tumbling out in a rush of apology. ‘I’m so sorry, Julie. I never should have put you in this situation. I—’
But she cuts me off, her voice weak but filled with warmth. ‘Ivan, it’s okay. I’m okay.’
I shake my head, unable to accept her forgiveness so easily. ‘No, it’s not okay. I should have protected you better. I…’
She squeezes my hands, her eyes shining with unshed tears, a mix of joy and relief. ‘Ivan, I need to tell you something.’
My heart beats faster, a mixture of anticipation and concern. ‘What is it? Is everything okay?’
Her smile returns, brighter than before, as if a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. ‘It’s more than okay. When they did the ultrasound to check the baby’s heartbeat, they found something. Two somethings actually.”
I stare at her, dumbfounded for a minute, causing her to laugh. “Two heartbeats. We’re having twins.”
The revelation hits me with the force of a thunderbolt, joy and astonishment flooding through me. Twins. Two little lives growing inside her, a doubling of the miracle we’d already been blessed with.
I lean in closer, my heart swelling with a love and excitement I’ve never known before. ‘Twins… Julie, that’s incredible.’ I’m at a loss for words, the news rendering me speechless with happiness.
She nods, her tears now flowing freely, mirroring my own. ‘Yes, twins. Our family is growing, Ivan. We’re going to have two beautiful babies.’
In that moment, with the revelation that we’re having twins hanging in the air between us, I realize just how much my life has changed, how much she has changed me. From a solitary existence to a life bursting with love and the promise of new beginnings; Julie, my wife, my love, and now the mother of our twins.
What more could a man want?