SWNOVELS Hidden Scars: Chapter 44
for the duration of the flight but he shared an earbud with me so we could watch a few episodes of The Boys that he downloaded on his phone. I lay my head on his shoulder and he puts his hand on my inner thigh.
“This show is fucked up,” I mumble.
He chuckles and squeezes my leg.
While I normally hate being confined, I find myself relaxing in the window seat with my teammates around me. No one has said anything about Jeremy and I being together, there are no questions about my father, or the abuse allegations. They’re curious, they have to be, but no one has said anything to me.
“Has anyone asked you about my father?”
“No.” There’s no hesitation in his answer.
“Anyone given you shit for being gay?”
“Nope.” Again, no hesitation. Maybe I should let some of these guys in and actually try to be friends with them. I’ve never had friends. That’s fucking depressing, but it’s the truth. Jeremy is the first person I’ve trusted since my mom died.
I lift my head and kiss his cheek, he smiles and glances at me before returning to the show. A notification pops up from Lily on Jeremy’s phone that he flicks away. I guess he’s hooked up to the onboard Wi-Fi. I’ve been avoiding her since my screaming match with her Friday night. Just one more thing I’m failing at. He’s a better person than I am.
I’ll call her when we get back.
With my head on Jeremy’s shoulder, I fall asleep, finally feeling safe enough from the outside world to relax.
The captain speaking over the intercom and Jeremy rubbing my inner thigh wakes me a few hours later.
I reach for his hand to stop it as my dick perks up. Being photographed walking through the airport with a hard-on is not on the list of things I want to do today. We land and taxi for a while before pulling up to our gate, and since we’re in the middle of the plane, it takes a while to get off the aircraft. My body tightens as I step out into the aisle and head toward the building. Will there be reporters waiting outside the airport? On campus? Will they start harassing my teammates and waiting at the ice rink? Outside my classes? The dorms?
“Breathe,” Jeremy says behind me, his hand sliding up the back of my shirt for a minute, while only the team is around us.
I force my shoulders down and take a deep breath as we leave the airplane and follow the rest of the passengers to baggage claim. Some people point, stare, and whisper but I ignore them, protected by my teammates. It’s more than I deserve from them but I accept it because I need it. And as much as I hate it, I need them.
When we get across the airport to baggage claim, our hockey gear is already being stacked up and guys are grabbing their personal bags to add to the pile. Jeremy grabs both of ours, a few more guys grab theirs, and we head out to the bus that’s waiting for us. The guys help load up the gear while I’m told to go sit on the bus so no one gets any ideas. I hate being helpless but I do what Coach told me to and soon enough we’re on our way to the dorms. It’s not a long drive but I keep checking behind us to see if we’re being followed. Nothing so far.
When we pull up to the school, there are news vans and security has roped off areas. My stomach drops. What the actual fuck? These goddamn soul-sucking bastards are going to be the death of me. I can’t take this.
Paul turns around to face me. “One step in front of the other, ignore everything they say.”
We get off the bus and the crowd goes crazy, all yelling and shouting over each other so I can’t understand any of it, which is fine by me. I do my best to ignore them and grab my bag from Jeremy to carry inside. Campus security does a good job of keeping the jackasses back to allow us into the building without much hassle. Once we’re inside, I let out a breath and Brendon is holding the elevator for us.
“This is some crazy shit, man.” Brendon comments. “Is this what it will be like if you play in the NHL? I don’t think I could handle it.”
“I’ve been dealing with this kind of shit on and off my entire life, you learn to ignore most of it.” Memories of after my mother died flash in my mind. My grandparents were famous because they were rich, which meant my mother was well known as well. Father played right into it, using the attention to boost his career and garner sympathy from the masses. Look at how hard it is to be a single father to two children while dealing with this horrific tragedy. He’s an inspiration.
Little did they know that I was being abused, tormented by him, and my sister was sent away as soon as he was able to. She was raised in boarding schools.
We file off the elevator, Paul and Brendon unlocking their door and heading inside, giving a nod as we pass to our room. Jeremy gets our door open and I’m barely inside when my body sags. I drop my bag and stumble to my bed.
“Quilt,” I say into my pillow. Jeremy chuckles but digs the quilt out of my bag and throws it at me. I pull the quilt up over my head and kick my shoes off without moving. Jeremy chuckles and slides in under the quilt with me.
“Do you want to talk about what’s going on in your head?” he whispers in the dark of our space.
“No,” I sigh. Ripping open the wounds sucks and I’m too tired for it. I roll over onto my back and Jeremy throws a leg over mine while sliding a hand under my shirt to rub against the skin right above my pants. My dick wakes up this time and my head is happy for the distraction.
It’s awkward not being able to use one hand, but I manage to cup his face and bring his lips to mine while he opens my pants and reaches inside to stroke me lazily.
I groan into his kiss, my tongue thrusting against his at the same pace of his hand on my dick.
He rides my thigh, his own cock hard in his jeans.
“Ride me,” I demand against his lips. Jeremy slides over my hips, his ass dragging against my cock in the most delicious rhythm. I reach under his shirt and dig my nails into his skin, leaving angry red scratches down his chest. He moans and leans forward to kiss me but my phone rings and we both freeze.
I instantly recognize the annoying ringing sound as my father’s ringtone.
“Up, baby, let me answer that.” I pat his thigh and he sighs but gets off me. Scooting off the bed, I find my phone on the bedside table and steel myself to deal with my father.
For the first time in my entire life, I’m not as afraid of him. Lily is protected and his ugly truths are being exposed to the world.
The second I hit the accept button on the call, my father’s voice fills the line.
“How dare you! You’ve ruined everything. Your mother would be horrified at what you’ve done!” The pure hatred in his voice makes me sad for him and that has to be a first. “Think of how this is going to affect your sister!”
“My sister is protected and will be fine. She’s furious with you and hates you for what you’ve done.” I snap back. Standing from the bed, I pace the floor while I work myself up into a boiling anger. For the first time in my life, I let him have it. “I hate you too. I hope you die alone and broke, your name smeared, and your medical license taken.” My body is vibrating with my lost innocence, fury at the hospital for letting him continue to abuse people, and the unfairness of losing my mother so damn young. He stole my childhood and tainted it with pain and cruelty, passing it off as trying to make me better.
“You will never see either of us again.”
Jeremy comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me, threading his fingers with mine and pressing his face to my back as I tremble. “You tried to break me, to make me dependent on you, but you failed.
“I’ve found a man that loves me despite the lies you made me believe and a family that accepts me and doesn’t use pain and fear to keep anyone in line. You are just as worthless as your own father. The only difference is your addiction is to power instead of alcohol.”
My father’s ragged breathing fills the line.
“How could you? You hurt innocent patients. How many women did you assault?” I demand. A door closes in the background of the call, feet slapping against concrete, then the squeaking of hinges.
“The only one I regret was your mother. I never wanted kids and she left me with two. I never wanted either of you. You’ve been an utter disgrace your entire life. You’ve never been anything other than a burden, needing constant guidance and correction. Every scar you’ve earned is your fault.” It’s windy wherever he is and it’s hard to hear him. “You really are worthless, Charles. You always have been. This is your fault too.” There’s a clattering, like he dropped the phone, then a scream in the distance before it suddenly stops. What the fuck just happened?
“Hello?” My skin runs cold and my chest tightens like someone is sitting on my ribs. I try desperately to connect the dots, figure out what is happening, but my mind is blank. All I can do is stand here and listen, to strain my ears for any clue as to what is happening.
Did he.
Did.
Did he just jump off his building?
“Preston?” Jeremy calls my name, but I’m struggling to listen to what little I can hear through the phone. All I can hear is wind. “Preston, breathe.”
I blink, spinning to look at him, barely breathing. His eyebrows are pulled together over his eyes, concern written in every angle of his face.
Finally, there’s a faint siren in the background.
“I-I-” I swallow and try again. “I think he’s dead.”
Jeremy’s face pales as I continue to stand there, holding my phone to my ear, the wailing of sirens getting louder in my ear.
“What do I do? I don’t know what to do.”