Hidden In Plain Sight

“Hmm?” It was still bleeding. They needed to fix that. “That doesn’t look good.” she echoed her mind in a soft mumble. Who could fix that? Her mom! She didn’t waste any time reaching forward to grab the girl’s other wrist, tugging her out of the chair. Her mom always helped her, she would help the girl. And she could finally get to see her again! “Come on. I know where you can get this stitched up.” She bit her lip. Would she even be allowed to go? Her father would be furious, but he’d left for a business trip this morning. He wouldn’t find out, would he? She hadn’t ever left the house on her own either, would Sebastian come with her? No, he had to stay with the guests.

She shouldn’t, she should just let Sebastian figure out what to do, but- she wanted to see her mom again, she missed her even with Sebastian here. Maybe if she could go see her, she would come back home. She knew she shouldn’t go, but she longed to see her again. Everything she had worked so hard to suppress seemed to come bubbling back up to the surface without mercy.

“Wait!” she froze as Sebastian called out to her. She knew it was coming, she knew he would try and stop her. But she couldn’t help but feel torn as his voice cut through her muddled thoughts.

Pivoting on her feet, she looked back at him, hand extended towards them as he lurched forward to stop them, concern written plainly all over his face.

“I-I- he’s not here- and she’s- p-please?” she stuttered out, her voice betraying her as she pleaded to him. Everything felt so blended together and she didn’t know what she wanted anymore- no, she wanted to see her mother. Right? She hadn’t left her, she was still here and her father was wrong. He didn’t know. His words echoed in her head.

“That good for nothing witch left you!” Smack. “She hates you, she doesn’t ever want to see you again,” Smack. “So why do you keep asking about her! She left but you won’t, you won’t ever leave me, you understand!” He screamed down at her.

No! She had come back for her, she took care of her, the scar on her ankle proved that. She looked at Sebastian. As he firmed his posture looking at her blankly, she felt herself tremble as she stared back at him. She had to go, she had to see her.

She held her breath, she had to, she couldn’t stop now. After what seemed like an eternity, Sebastian’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Fine. But be careful.”

She felt her eyes widen in shock, she could-

“Mhmm mhmm,” she hummed in response, nodding excitedly as she shocked back to life, tugging the girl again.

The two men were still out in the waiting room, one sitting on the edge of the sofa while the other leaned against a wall. They both jumped as they emerged, lunging forward a bit to grab her. No! She still needed her. She felt bad for using her, but she couldn’t let this go.

“She still needs stitches.” she shot out defensively, still tugging the girl to the door.

“Well then, we’ll take care of it,” the man with the angry voice offered firmly.

“N-no!” she tugged roughly on the girl before she realized she wouldn’t make it out of the house before the two stopped her. Dropping the girl’s arm, her hands fumbled around her skirt. She knew they were somewhere. Yanking a few credits that Sebastian had given her to play with a few weeks ago out of her pocket, she tossed them at the man before grabbing the girl again. The man seemed satisfied as he stepped back, letting her pull the girl away.

Stepping outside, it seemed to dawn on her what she was doing, and looking around the darkened alleyway, she couldn’t help but feel helpless. For the briefest moment, she wanted to turn back, run back to Sebastian and bury her head in the familiar satin of his suit, begging him to read her a book surrounded by the comfort of her pillows and blankets and stay like that forever.

No! She was doing this, she had to. She already came this far. She started tugging the girl forward again, albeit a small bit slower. Slowly they made their way through the back alleys, clinging close to the shadows. She had memorized the way to the bakery from the small glimpses of the world she got, pressing them into her memory like a tattoo for when she finally went to see her mother again, and that day was today.

They seemed to arrive at the back door all too quickly, yet too slow at the same time. Standing in front of the wooden door, she didn’t know why she was hesitating, she should be bursting through the door to run into her mother’s arms again, but something felt lacking.

“I-” the girl next to her started to speak but Alicia cut in quickly.

“Sorry! I- uh never mind,” she stuttered out nervously. Right, she was here for a reason, enough waiting. She held her breath as she pressed the door open.

Looking into the bakery, her eyes quickly fell on her mom as she bent over some dough on a cutting board. She always loved baking. Alicia remembered how the house always smelled like sweets or like fresh flour.

At the sound of their entrance, she jumped a bit, turning to look at them with surprise. She watched as her mother’s eyes settled on her heavily, her expression morphing into something uncomfortable.

No, that wasn’t right, wasn’t she happy to see her? Maybe she was just surprised to see her?

“Alicia, what are you doing here?! What if your father sees you?” her mother questioned quickly. Oh, she was just worried about her, she should have known better. She tried to brush off the stiffness in her chest but she couldn’t quite shut up the small voice in the back of her mind whispering lies, but she adamantly ignored it as she tried to stutter out her answer.

“I-I- he’s not here. He’s on a business trip and no one saw us,” she pushed the girl forward. She was here for a reason first, she could spend time with her mom after she helped the girl. She chastised herself for her selfishness. “This girl needs stitches.”

“Oh- uh, sure,” her mother turned on her foot, moving to the cabinets to grab things. Was the girl making her mother anxious? Should she tell her that there wasn’t anything to worry about? That the girl was here to help her?

It wasn’t long till her mom turned back again, a needle and thread in her hand as she extended a hand to the girl. Her mother moved quickly, wiping away the blood from her arm before pushing the needle into the cut and the girl let out a soft hiss under her breath as Alicia tried not to shy away.

“Alicia, go back to the office with Sebastian. I’ll make sure she gets it all taken care of,” her mother turned to her again.

Was she still worried about that? It didn’t matter if her father got mad- she could take it. it would be worth it. “I-I know but I never get to see you, Mom. I-I just thought that if I was careful then I could come see you and maybe we could play together again! I don’t care if I get in trouble if I can be with you!” she finished with a smile, thinking about the games that they could play later. Her mom still didn’t seem convinced as she started to rebuttal her staying again.

“I know dear but-” she was cut off quickly as a high pitched squeal punctuated the air, making Alicia jolt a bit in surprise as a small girl with short brown hair rushed into the room, coated head to toe in white flour

“Oh, Alis,” her mother drawled fondly, turning her head to watch as the girl skirted around the countertops and Alicia felt herself freeze up, a brittle crack settling painfully in her chest as she looked down at her who she realized was her sister.

She already replaced you…. Her father’s words echoed in her head again, rattling in the hollow cold.

Her eyes were drawn to her brown hair, small dots of white flour stuck between the messy strands than to the blue strands of her own hair poking along the edges of her vision. Brown hair that looked so much like her mother’s, she would always look more like her mother than Alicia would. Looking at her, she knew instantly that she was her daughter.

She was cut off by her thoughts as the girl leaned around the counter with a playful shriek as she pointed at the raven-haired girl.

“That’s the girl from the market!” the raven-haired girl’s spine jolted stiffly at the accusation. Had they met before? She didn’t have long to think about it till the small girl turned her gaze to her, small dots of flour falling from her hair as she cocked her head curiously.

“Who’s she? Does she know the market girl?” Alicia felt her throat tighten. She didn’t know her? Well of course she doesn’t recognize her, she probably doesn’t know what she looks like. Her mind rambled nervously, like it was trying to put two pieces of a puzzle together that didn’t quite fit.

“Oh-” Her mother’s voice was tight as Alicia waited for her to tell her that she was her sister, a response that never came. “She’s no one you should know Dear, you don’t need to worry about it.”

The small girl’s ‘okay’ sounded distant as she responded as Alicia watched the puzzle she had spent so long trying to hold together break apart, leaving a morbid image behind in her head. She could hear more words, but her brain didn’t process them. She didn’t even know she followed the raven-haired girl out till she was already outside the bakery again. Back out into the dark alley.

She could still hear her mother through the door, calling after her- sister. Now you get over here, you little rascal, she could hear muffled through the door before high-pitched squealing.

She remembered so vividly when that used to be her, running from the kitchen into the dining room where she clung to the leg of a chair before her mom caught up and tickled her till tears sprung up in her eyes and she could barely breathe through the laughter.

He was right. Every curse and scream that fell from her father’s mouth came back all at once. She had been so sure, she had been so sure her father was wrong but now she didn’t know who was right.

“You done here? ’cause we need to go,” an angry voice snapped at her back and she jolted, drawing a tight breath but her chest felt impossibly tight now, even now that she didn’t have a bruise. Was that a side effect? It had to be.

The two men were in front of her now and she felt even smaller as they towered over her.

“Sebastian paid you, r-right?” She tried to ask them, but her voice came out hoarse and quiet.

“Yep,” the second one answered happily, tossing a few coins in his hand.

With nothing left to say, she nodded stiffly at him and turned to make her escape back into the alley, all of a sudden way too aware of being out in the open, busy noises from the market a few feet away ringing in her head. It felt unnatural, unnerving, she didn’t belong here. She needed to leave, go back to her bubble, pretend she had never left, she shouldn’t have left. Her feet carried her into the darkness of the alley quickly before she slowed down, walking tightly against the wall of the alley. She wrung her hands together as she took a few shaky breaths, the air burning in her lungs as she took slow steps forward.

Her mind was blank, all thoughts of anything at all had vanished, leaving only an anxious uneasy sensation underneath her skin.

It made her feel weird. Her mind was never blank, but every time she tried to grasp onto a thought or feeling, it receded before she could get a grip on it, leaving her flustered and scrambled. Nothing, there was nothing in her head.

It wasn’t long till she was back in front of the same door she came from. The door she had the inside of memorized, but rarely saw the outside of. She reached forward with shaking hands to pull the door open, her arms straining tensely under the heavy weight as she stepped through. The door clicked shut behind her as she was enveloped in the familiar walls.

Still nothing.

“Miss, lunch is almost ready,” Sebastian called from the other room and his voice was like the last puzzle piece slotting into place as it all came crashing down on her.

Sobs wracked her shoulders as tears blurred her vision, leaving cold tracks down her face. Stumbling back, she hit the door she came in from, sliding down it as her knees gave in. her chest burned as she choked on air. Everything was gone, every memory of her mother she held onto was gone. Every hope or dream of her mother coming back to be with her was shattered and she was all alone.

The house was silent other than her cries echoing in the rooms. Quiet, empty, alone. But then she could hear the click of Sebastian’s shoes against the floor as he came to a crouch in front of her. Her sobs softened for a second as she watched him reach forward to her.

“You’re going to look like a goldfish if you keep crying like that,” he told her as he scrubbed at her cheek lightly. A line he would always use when she was crying over something and he couldn’t get her to stop. Looking up at him, she could see his features drawn tightly together in something that looked like remorse.

Any clarity of vision she had was soon gone as more tears gathered in her eyes and her sobs picked up painfully. Lurching forward she grabbed onto him, burying her head in the familiar tailcoat as another sob wracked her body.

Wrapping his arms around her, Sebastian picked her up, holding her tightly as he stood up and Alicia felt like she could breathe again, even if just a bit as she gasped for air. She was wrong, she wasn’t alone, she had Sebastian, and she liked him more anyways.

She felt her sobs slowly subside as Sebastian carried her around the house until it’s only the occasional hiccup. She rubbed at her eyes as they entered the kitchen, trying to wipe away the messy tear tracks as she sniffed through her runny nose.

Placing her down in a chair, Sebastian pushed a plate in front of her. Looking down at the plate, Alicia gave a watery giggle as a small smile grazed her lips. Sebastian only silently turned away to finish making lunch and Alicia promised she didn’t see the small glance he cast over his shoulder as she picked up her bunny bread and took a bite.

Yea, she definitely liked Sebastian better.

That was the last time she ever wanted to see her mother.