Hidden In Plain Sight

It was one of the rare days that Sebastian would indulge her in playing hide and seek. She pressed her hand to her mouth, trying to stifle her giggles. She was sure he wouldn’t find her this time. She had hidden in the same spot as last time, behind the curtain, where Sebastian had bluntly pointed out that her feet were showing and to try harder if she didn’t want to be found. He would never expect that she would use the same hiding spot twice.

A few more giggles escaped as she pressed her hands across her mouth messily, a silly smile stretching across her face.

Suddenly the click of Sebastian’s shoes hurried towards her quicker than normal and the curtain was yanked away quickly. She frowned. Okay, so maybe not the best hiding spot. She waited for Sebastian’s sarcastic comment about how easy it was to find her but when it didn’t come, she finally looked up.

Sebastian was kneeling in front of her with wide eyes, his breath heaving softly from running. She felt her eyebrows furrow. Had she scared him? She hadn’t been hiding for long. In a flurry of motion, he grabbed her and started running again, holding her against his chest as he ran, his shoes clicking quickly under them as they went.

He quickly shut them in a closet that was hidden along the wall, the wooden door that was inset in the wall blending in with all the other wood accents. She opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong when he shushed her before she could. His hands were shaking around her as he braced her head and back, holding her tightly against him. She could hear his heart rattling quickly in his chest as he drew shaky rapid breaths.

That was when she heard it,

“Alicia- where are you?” It was her father’s voice but it sounded slurred and sloppy. There was a thud like something was knocked over, then a string of loud curses.

That was the first time she feared her father.

Not because she felt personally scared or threatened, but because that was the first time she’d seen Sebastian scared. She had seen him annoyed, bored, angry, and even content, but not scared. Not until now.

She wasn’t sure how long they stayed in there, Sebastian holding her tightly as he stood quietly in the small dark closet, but eventually, he loosened his grip on her slightly as he dipped his head down to whisper to her.

“Miss?”

She twisted her head to look at him. He seemed to be almost surprised at her as he blinked at her before regaining his composure.

“Your father is very… tired right now, so I need you to be quiet so that we don’t wake him up, okay?”

Alicia nodded silently and Sebastian righted himself quickly. He pressed her head to his chest tightly as he left the closet so that she couldn’t see anything. Despite her curiosity, she didn’t challenge it, closing her eyes as his grip once again tightened on her. Moving quickly through the house, he only paused for a moment, grabbing something off a counter before she could feel them moving again.

Alicia only lifted her head when he came to a stop and she heard the soft click of a door behind them. Looking up, she was greeted with the soft white walls of her room. Moving over to her bed Sebastian placed her down on it softly, her legs splaying messily under her.

She watched him as he moved down to the end of the bed and placed down two jars and some bread.

“What are you doing?” She asked hesitantly, setting down her hands between her legs on the soft blanket to balance herself.

“Making dinner,” he responded quickly.

She only cocked her head to the side a bit. They had only had lunch a bit ago. Sebastian seemed to sense her confusion as he looked up at her again.

“Your father was very tired today and he’s already gone to bed so you should too.”

He said that he was only tired but Alicia couldn’t help but know it wasn’t true. But Sebastian wasn’t telling her, so that meant it was something that she couldn’t know about, at least for now. So all she did was just nodded quietly and watched as he finished quickly, shoving the bread towards her.

Looking down at the white bread sitting on the bed in front of her, she cocked her head curiously.

“What is it?” She asked him, looking up to where he was watching her intently.

“Bread with butter and honey.”

“It looks like a bunny.” She pointed out, looking at the sloppy glob of honey that resembled the creature slightly.

His eyebrows scrunched together as he leaned over to see what she was looking at. “It seems that you’re right, Miss,” he agreed, looking at the crooked bunny.

Briefly, she felt a small smile tug at her lips weakly as she grabbed the bread off the covers of her bed and took a bite. It was squishy and sweet and she loved it, taking another bite quickly.

Looking up again, she caught one of Sebastian’s fleeting smiles, but it seemed almost weighted as he looked at her. She felt something tight lodge itself in her throat, but she tried to wash it away by taking another bite. She didn’t like how he looked just then- it was like he thought it was the last time he would see her happy. That wasn’t right, ’cause he was going to come tomorrow and they were going to play again and have fun. She would just have to make sure to smile even more tomorrow. She took the last bite of her bread and shot him a wide, sloppy smile.

Sebastian got her ready for bed, helping her change and tucking her into bed just like every day despite the fact that today was nothing like other days. Handing her a new teddy bear he tucked her into the bed, pulling her blankets closer to her before he stepped back, casting her one last glance before he reached for the door.

Alicia nuzzled her head into her stuffie as her room was shrouded in darkness and when she heard a second click after Sebastian left the room, she knew that she wouldn’t get out till the morning. Closing her eyes, she tried to fall asleep. It took a while, but eventually, she drifted off to sleep, however strange it might have felt.

It was still dark when she woke. Everything was still asleep, except her. Sitting up in her bed, she looked across her room. Everything was so dark and quiet. She wasn’t scared. Why should she be scared? She’d been in this room her whole life. She knew it like the back of her hand, and if a monster was hiding here then it would have come to her years ago. That’s what Sebastian had told her, but still she felt something heavy pull in her stomach as she looked at the same furniture that had always been there, unmoving, unchanging: her dresser and bookcase and desk with her lamp on top. Besides her toys and plushies which were replaced, everything was the same.

She looked down at the bear still held in her arms, pulling at its pristine fur as she looked at its deep black eyes. She didn’t know how long she’d had it, or how much longer she would, how long before her father replaced them all again. She didn’t know if he thought that she wanted them or if it was to make up for not being there or- everything else, but it just quickly became another reality of her life.

She felt her throat tighten as her eyes started to burn- Oh, she was sad.

Why? She shouldn’t feel sad, she didn’t have any reason to. She was supposed to smile for Sebastian today. She rubbed weakly at her eyes, trying to shy away the unshed tears. She wasn’t sure how long she sat there in the dark, staring at the wall in front of her, just waiting for the weight in her stomach to lift but it never did, only twisting into something almost painful.

She turned her head when she heard the door click, looking over to where Sebastian’s brown hair was peeking through the door and she felt her stomach unknot itself, even if just a bit. She didn’t try to understand it, she knew her head would just hurt when she tried to. She had everything in her little world, and she should be happy.

“Good morning Miss. You must be hungry. What do you want for breakfast?” Sebastian’s voice snapped her out of her head.

Oh, hungry, she must just be hungry. She let a big smile pull at her lips as she looked up at Sebastian.

“Bunny bread!”