Hermione's All That

Chapter How Could You?



Harry couldn't keep the smile off of his face for the rest of the day. First, he won the Quidditch match, and second, Hermione had agreed to go with him to the Yule Ball.

He was excited and decided to get started on the plans for the dance and what would follow.

He thought about what he was going to tell Hermione. Could he just say it? Hermione, I love you? He didn't know. He was terrified, but in his heart, he knew that he was supposed to tell her and he was going to. Nothing would stop him; not even a herd of Hippogriffs charging after him could keep him from accomplishing this task.

He had a lot to think about and he began to worry.

What if it's not perfect? What if she doesn't even love me back, or like me for that matter? That's foolish Potter; do you not see the way she looks at you? Yeah, and it scares me!

Harry was scared. Scared that he might screw something up or mess up what beautiful thing could happen between the two of them. He still had the threat of Voldemort over his head, and if he was logical he would try to keep Hermione away from him at all times, but he couldn't.

Being without her made everything in the world seem that much less significant. She was the reason he smiled throughout the day and hummed a tune before bed. She was always on his mind, always occupying a space deep within.

Had she always had that space? Maybe the first day he laid eyes on her in first year, his heart provided a small space for her, knowing how much she would affect his life in the future. Maybe that was why he never really was able to connect with anyone or really open up to another human before. That job was already reserved for Hermione.

Life has a funny way of unfolding and everything seems to work itself out. Sure, there are bad things and even worse things, but in life, there are so many wonderful things and so many precious moments that make it all worthwhile.

Harry decided to write Sirius, informing him about the good news. He was elated and he knew his godfather would be thrilled about the news also.

Harry couldn't wait to introduce Hermione to Sirius. Ever since Harry told Sirius about her, he had been complaining about finally meeting the girl who stole his godson's heart.

Maybe she can go with me over the summer to my house. We could take a trip? Maybe a cruise or something, somewhere!

Wait, slow down there; don't get ahead of yourself now. You don't even know if she is going to respond well to your confession and you're already making plans for trips during the summer.

He stopped pacing his room and looked out the window. He needed something to take his mind off of the whole situation. I'll go flying. He reached under his bed, making a grab for his Firebolt, and pulled out Malfoy's Nimbus 2001. Harry sighed. He had forgotten, in a momentary lapse, about the trade he made with Malfoy.

He looked down at the broom and set it back down. He didn't feel like flying, it wouldn't be the same. He missed his Firebolt terribly and he wanted to wring Malfoy's neck for being such a prick.

How did I ever become friends with him? He's such a good for nothing, low-down, dirty piece of sh…Harry stopped right there, trying to rid his head of all these thoughts. He had too much to stress over as it was, he didn't need to add Malfoy on top of that.

Harry plopped down at his desk and shoved open his Herbology book. He decided maybe working on his schoolwork would help him relieve some stress. As he grabbed his quill and was about to start on his first assignment, someone knocked on his bedroom door.

He honestly didn't feel like talking, and he knew it was probably just Ron coming to ask him to take a ride together out on the pitch. "Listen, Ron," Harry began. "I don't really feel like flying, ok?"

"It's not Ron," came the voice behind the door. Harry thought recognized it, but he couldn't place the voice. He knew it wasn't Hermione, so who was it?

Harry laid down his quill and strolled to the door. Pulling it open he was shocked to see Lavender standing in the doorway.

"Hey Harry," Lavender greeted. "Can I come in?"

Harry was stunned for a second, but finally pulled out of his stupor. "Yeah, sure," Harry muttered, moving out of the way so Lavender could come inside.

Harry shut the door. He wondered why Lavender had come to speak with him. Even though she was his best friend's girlfriend, they really didn't speak privately.

Almost as if Lavender read his thoughts she said, "I bet you're wondering why I'm here."

"Yeah, it crossed my mind," he said with a smile.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about Ron," Lavender began.

Harry moved to take a seat on the chair, offering a place on the bed for Lavender. She sat down and he turned to look at her. "Ok, what about?"

"Well, you know him better than anyone. You two have been friends for so long and I just needed your advice on how to tell him something without him freaking out," Lavender said.

Harry smiled. "If this is about trying to tell him to control his stomach a bit better, it won't work. I've tried a million times."

Lavender smiled. "Yeah, that is one issue, but that's not what I'm talking about," Lavender told him. Harry straightened up, sensing that this conversation was heading down the serious path. "I want to tell him that I love him, but I'm scared." Lavender admitted.

Harry was shocked to hear her tell him such an intimate detail and he thought it was funny how he seemed to be in the same dilemma.

"How would he react if I tell him that? Do you think he will dump me or do you think I will scare him away? I remember Hermione telling me the first time I met her that I should just take the risk, and she was all game to help me plan it all out, but I chickened out. I couldn't do it, but now I really know that I need to or I am going to burst inside, but I'm still so scared. I mean Harry, what do I…," Lavender was rambling, but Harry interrupted her.

"Whoa, Lavender, calm down, take a deep breath," Harry said, patting her on her shoulder. "Everything is going to be ok. Now, I want you to answer me a question. How do you feel about Ron?"

Lavender looked at Harry and began blushing. "I, well, I feel, I don't even really know how to describe it. I feel all jittery inside when he is around me and my heart just starts racing," Lavender was saying.

As Lavender was saying what she felt about Ron, Harry was imagining Hermione and how he actually felt about her.

He thought back to when he took Hermione out to Hogsmeade for their first date. And how, when he first saw her step down those stairs, his heart began pounding in his chest. Or when she looped her arm with his, he felt this warm sensation come over him.

"I love how he gives me this toothy grin when he sees me or this bashful grin when we start talking about something serious."

Harry pictured the time when Hermione tried to find her way through the crowd at the Quidditch game for him and the smile she gave him as he lifted her into the air.

"I love how he tries to act like things don't really matter to him, but he gets protective of me when some other boy is around."

Harry thought back to the dinner at the Golden Snitch and Xander. He clenched his fist at the memory and how he felt so jealous that someone else was looking at her.

"And well, I just love everything about him and I love him with my whole heart, no questions asked. Many people would ask why I love him, and there are a million reasons for why I should, but the main one, the actual reason is, I just do."

Harry turned to look at Lavender and a smile appeared on his face. "Lavender, I think you know what you need to do."

Lavender smiled at Harry, jumping up and giving him a big hug. "Yes, yes I do! I have to tell him. Love isn't something that can be controlled or even subdued. It needs to be let out and rejoiced and that's what I'm going to do! I'm going to tell Ron that I love him!" Lavender was practically jumping with excitement.

She walked to the door, ready to leave, but stopped for a moment. "And Harry," she said, and Harry turned to her direction. "Don't worry. I can see it on your face to. I think those in love can sense others in love. You have to tell her, and take your own advice. It will work!" She didn't wait for a reply; she quickly opened the door and departed the room.

Harry was left with an empty room, a blank sheet of paper, and a heart filled with love.

Hermione was on her way to the library to finish some last minute assignments. School was about to be let out for the holidays at the end of the week, and she wanted to make sure she had everything done and she could enjoy the break instead of always trying to finish her work.

She thought about the dance and smiled. She couldn't wait to attend it. It was only ten days away and she still had some shopping to do. She had already picked out her dress robes, thanks to Lavender, and how she wanted to do her hair.

She felt the enormous butterflies that seemed to form in the pit of her stomach at the thought of going with Harry. She was excited, nervous, scared, all wrapped into one.

She felt her heart explode with love toward him and she tensed up at the thought. It scared her to think that she could let herself feel so fully for someone she had just known for a short time. But when she really looked inside herself she knew, without a doubt, that she was in love with Harry Potter and she only prayed that he felt the same way.

She had many doubts about that and she thought her chance of her feelings being returned were about .000001 percent, but that didn't stop the hope that flowed through her veins.

Hermione knew people would call her crazy, hell she called herself crazy at least once a day, but even if the chances her slim, pretty much bordering on zero, she felt like it was still enough to get her through the day; it was enough to make her smile at every memory of him that ran through her head, it was enough to make her pray every night for that slight miracle she felt she needed.

Maybe she was being selfish, but at the moment, she didn't care. She felt like it was time she actually paid attention to herself and put herself first instead of always pushing her desires to the sidelines and having them collect dust over the years. She knew it was time to pull them out, dust them off, and finally put them to use.

She was almost at the library when a strong hand grabbed her arm. She didn't even have time to make a sound before she was pulled into a classroom. She heard the door shut. The room was dark and she was about to scream when a finger touched her lip.

"Hermione, please don't scream!" the voice whispered and Hermione clenched her teeth.

"Draco, what the hell are you doing?" Hermione asked, shocked that he would have the nerve to pull something like this.

Draco walked over to the light and flipped it on. He stood there, in his Hogwarts uniform and a smile across his face.

"Listen Hermione, I just needed to ask if you have given anymore thought to what I asked you about earlier?" Draco asked. He leaned against the wall, eyeing her for her answer.

"Draco, I'm going with Harry!" Hermione shouted to him. She made her way to the door, but he blocked the exit.

"What, did he finally ask you?" Draco asked smugly.

"If you have to know, yes, he did!" Hermione proclaimed. She stood glaring at Malfoy, her hand already inching toward her wand. She didn't like this situation and she wanted out, now.

"It's just a lie. I swear! Potter wants nothing to do with you. Don't you see he's just using you!" Draco exclaimed.

"Stop saying that! I don't care what you say! Why would I give a damn about what you think? I know the stories, I know what people say about you! Just stay the hell away from me!" Hermione shouted. She grabbed her wand and pointed it menacingly at Draco. "Move now!"

Draco stared right back at her, and then finally, complied. He moved from the door and watched as she moved to open it.

She grabbed the handle and she was about to open it when he laid a hand over hers. "Don't think I didn't warn you," he whispered into her ear.

She wrenched open the door, and stepped out into the hall. She was about to walk away, when she felt arms grab her shoulders. She was pulled around and lips suddenly hit hers. She was shocked for a moment, but finally came to her senses. She pushed with all her might against Draco.

She looked up at him and he just smiled. "Ugh! Who do you think you are? If you ever come near me again I will hex you till you never walk again!" Hermione raged as she stormed off down the hall.

Harry, Ron, and Draco were walking out of their last class for the day.

"Finally, the day is over!" Ron exclaimed, undoing his tie and throwing it over his shoulder. He turned to Harry. "You up for some Quidditch?"

Harry nodded, glad to know that he was released for the day. "Can you believe it, only four more days of classes then a whole month off!"

"Yeah, it's great! No more dealing with Snape, and homework, and evil little creatures in Hagrid's class," Ron uttered. Harry nodded.

Harry turned to Draco, noticing how quiet he was being, it definitely wasn't his usual self.

He was walking with his head down and he didn't have the usual smug look on his face.

Harry was about to say something when a voice stunned him out of his silence. "Draco!" the voice shouted.

Harry watched as Draco's eyes seemed to lighten a bit and a sideways smile fell on his face. Harry turned to see the girl who was getting his attention. She was a short, petite girl with brown hair that reached her shoulders and light blue eyes. He had seen her around school. She was in their year and by her uniform, Harry could tell she was in Ravenclaw. What was Draco doing with a Ravenclaw? She must be the new girl of the week.

"Jessica, I was looking for you…," Draco started to say, but he was interrupted as the girl came stomping her way over, glaring at Draco.

Harry and Ron stepped back from the confrontation, but they continued to watch the scene unfold with glaring curiosity.

Jessica stood right in front of Draco and glared up at him. Draco looked like he was about to talk, but as soon as he opened his mouth, Jessica's hand flew up and connected with Draco's cheek, causing a loud smack to erupt in the hallway.

By the sudden sound, everyone stopped in their tracks and watched the two.

"Don't you dare even speak to me Malfoy," Jessica singed with anger. Harry watched as Draco almost seemed to flinch at the use of his surname. "How could you?"

"What are you talking about?" Draco asked. Harry was shocked to see how calm Draco was handling this. He had seen this happen before, plenty of times. Draco would go out with a girl, get her into bed, and then dump her the next day. This had gone on for years. But the only thing different about this was the fact that Draco wasn't doing what he usually did. He would usually just smile or grin then say something like "Did you really think I cared what you want?" or "I don't make commitments to anyone".

Here he was, actually looking shocked at the girl's sudden outburst. Harry almost wanted to go as far as to say Draco actually looked like he cared for this girl, almost.

"Oh, you know exactly what I am talking about. I saw you! I saw you!" Jessica said, the anger she felt flowing out with her words.

"I don't know what you are talking about!" Draco said back, completely stunned. Harry could tell by the way he looked that he really didn't know what she was talking about.

"You know good and well what I am talking about. You and that Granger girl!" Jessica shouted.

At the mention of Hermione's name, Harry became even more interested in the conversation. How was Hermione involved?

Draco stood rooted to his spot. "Huh?" was all he could say.

"Fine, if you want to act dumb, let me remind you of your little kiss outside of the classroom earlier this afternoon!" Jessica shouted.

Harry was stunned by the revelation. Draco and Hermione, kissing? What the hell?! He knew there had to be more to the story. He knew Hermione, and she wasn't the type to do something like that. He had to talk to her. Suddenly anger surged through his veins at Draco. What the hell was he doing with Hermione? He clenched his fists in anger, eager to get his hands on his so-called friend.

"Listen Jessica, I swear, I have no idea what you are talking about! I haven't seen Granger since yesterday!" Draco tried to explain. Harry watched Draco's face and he almost wanted to believe him.

"You know, I thought you changed, especially after what happened last time. Did that black eye I gave you not teach you a lesson? Because I wouldn't mind doing it again!" Jessica exclaimed, balling up her fists.

Harry stopped and thought back to what she said. Oh my god! She was the one who gave Draco the black eye. So it couldn't have been Draco in disguise. But if it wasn't Draco, then who?

"Jessica please," Draco started to say but Jessica turned and headed down the hall. Draco followed after her. "Please, wait. Just hear me out!"

Harry watched as they fled down the hall. Voices flared up again as everyone discussed what they just saw.

Harry was shocked. He just learned quite a bit of information in those mere five minutes. He now knew that it wasn't Draco posing as Xander, he learned that someone kissed Hermione, and also that Draco may actually be falling for someone rather than just playing them like he did all his other one-night stands.

"I can't believe that just happened," Ron said beside Harry. Harry didn't say anything. He needed to find Hermione and fast. He had to know what happened between her and Draco.

"I know! I have to find Hermione!" Harry said, hurrying down the hall. Ron caught up to him as he was making his way toward the common room. He was hoping she would be there.

"Harry, don't get riled up about this. You know that Hermione would never kiss Draco willingly," Ron said. Harry turned to him, his cheeks already burning in anger.

"I know, and that's what I'm afraid of," Harry told him, keeping his pace steady as he headed for the Gryffindor tower.

Harry and Ron swept into the common room quickly. Harry scanned the area and was happy to see that Hermione was seated on one of seats near the fire.

He noticed immediately that it was his chair and it made him remember the first time he had really spoken to her. He remembered that he got mad at her for sitting in his chair and how she held her ground, not getting up just because he said so.

He smiled at her and internally scolded himself for being so cold-hearted to her at the beginning. He was so terribly wrong about her.

Harry made his way over to her and she looked up, greeting him with a smile. He watched as the light from the fire seemed to dance over her face and he thought she looked so beautiful.

"Hello Harry," she greeted.

"Hey Hermione," Harry answered, turning to sit on the couch that was closest to her.

"Listen," Harry began tentatively. He didn't really know how to approach this, so he just decided to ask her point blank. "Did Malfoy kiss you today?"

Harry watched as Hermione frowned at his question, but then she looked over to the fire, an angry look crossing her face.

"Yeah," Hermione finally said.

Harry swallowed a bit then continued. "Um, can I ask how it happened?"

"Oh, Harry, I really hope that you don't think I kissed him freely!" Hermione said as she turned to face him and looked right into his eyes; her eyes begging him to believe her.

Harry shook his head. "No, I know you wouldn't. Did he, um, well, did he try anything on you?" Harry clenched his teeth. If Draco tried to hurt Hermione at all he was going to beat the hell out of him.

"Well, I was just walking to the library when suddenly someone pulled me into this classroom. It was Draco. He told me some things and tried blocking the door when I wanted out," Hermione said and Harry's eyes flashed in fury. Hermione seemed to sense this, so she laid a hand on top of his. "Don't worry Harry. I pulled out my wand, and he let me out. But as I was turning to leave, he grabbed me and kissed me. It was disgusting. I pushed him away and told him to never touch me again, and then I headed back here."

Harry shook his head; the rage he felt inside was churning. He wanted to use Malfoy's face as a punching bag. How dare he do this to Hermione?

Harry stood up. "I can't stand him! What an asshole he is!" Harry raged. Hermione stood up, grabbing his hand.

"It's ok Harry, don't worry about it!" Hermione said.

"How can I not worry about it? I can't believe he would do something like this. I mean, I know he is such a jerk and everything, but I thought there was a little good in him. I can't believe he would stoop this low!" Harry exclaimed. "I have to get this off my chest! I'm going to confront him here and now! The lies are through; I want to hear why he would do something like this!"

Hermione was about to respond when suddenly Cho appeared. "Spoken like a true Potter," she said as she made her way over to them, an evil gleam in her eyes. "Why don't you heed your own advice Potter, stop the lies! Tell Hermione about your little bet!"

Harry froze, staring right into Cho's eyes. Harry couldn't even think straight. No, this isn't happening, this can't be happening! Harry turned to look at Hermione. She still had her hand in his, but she was looking at him with questions in her eyes.

"What is she talking about, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Why don't you tell her Potter? She has a right to know!" Cho said.

"Shut the hell up, Cho!" Ron shouted, coming to Harry's defense.

"No, I'm sick of this! If you don't tell her, I will!" Cho shouted.

Harry made a move to open his mouth, but he couldn't. His words were sticking to his insides and he just didn't know what to do in this situation. He had confronted Voldemort so many times; each one he survived even when he had to think fast and not panic, but he couldn't tell the girl he loved an explanation to something that had changed his whole life. How could he tell her without breaking her heart?

"Fine," Cho said, moving closer to them. "The beginning of this year started out with a bet; a bet between Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. Harry proclaimed, after losing me I might add, that he could turn any girl into the Queen at the Yule Ball. So Draco took the bet, and guess who the candidate was?"

Hermione stared at Cho, not really believing her story.

"It was you, Hermione. They picked you! Did you honestly believe that Harry here would talk to you and be nice to you and take you out on his own free will? Nope, it was all a bet; one that he has been trying to win. He has gotten you into his crowd, he has finally made you popular, and guess what, he even got you nominated. It seems he is well on his way to winning the bet. The only thing standing in his way is me. You aren't going to take the Queen away from me!" Cho exclaimed. She pointed her finger at Hermione. "You hear me, I deserve it!"

Silence filled the room as Cho's speech seemed to settle into everyone's mind. Harry couldn't move or think. So many things were running through his mind right now and he had absolutely no idea what to do.

Hermione was stunned but then she just smiled. "Yeah right, Cho! You really expect me to believe your lies. You're just trying to bring me down. Harry would never do that!" Hermione said, turning to Harry. "Right, Harry?"

Harry didn't move. His mind was shouting for him to agree with Hermione, shout that Cho was a liar, but he couldn't because he knew in this heart that it was all true. He couldn't keep up this lie anymore. It was out in the open and it was going to stay out in the open.

Hermione watched as Harry looked like a deer in headlights at her question. She looked into his eyes and knew. Cho wasn't telling a lie, she was telling the truth. Hermione heard her own heart split in two and fall to the bottom of her chest. She let go of Harry's hand as if it burned her, because in a way it did.

She was completely thrown by the revelation. She couldn't believe that Harry would do such a thing. "How could you?" she heard herself say. "I can't believe, I just…," Hermione couldn't say anymore. She felt the tears building up. All her feelings were crashing down on her and she just wanted the ground to open up and let her fall through.

She turned to Harry, looking him in the eyes, looking for some glimpse of explanation. She then felt the tears start running down her face.

Harry cringed at the sight of her tears. She was crying and it was because of him. He had tried so hard not to hurt her, his own promise now broken. Everything blew up in his face.

Harry reached out a hand to wipe the tears off of her cheek, but Hermione jumped back.

"Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me," Hermione shrieked. "I just can't understand why! Why Harry, why? Why did you do this to me? I opened up to you, I told you my secrets. I shared with you things that I could barely share with myself. I trusted you, I cared for you, god Harry, I loved you!"

The last statement shocked both Harry and Hermione. Hermione couldn't believe that she had uttered that last phrase. She didn't want to reveal her feelings to him, especially not now. It was a complete slip of the tongue.

Harry was almost knocked off his feet at what she had said. He almost wanted to ask her to repeat the last part, but he wasn't going to dare do that. He couldn't understand how he could be so filled with joy and love and filled with sorrow and regret all at the same time.

He was experiencing the best and worst moment of his life at the same time and he had no idea how to make it right.

Harry finally willed himself to say something. "Hermione, please, let me explain," Harry started to say, but Hermione interrupted.

"No Harry, I don't want to hear it. I don't see how you can make any of this better. Just leave me alone and stay out of my life forever!" Hermione shouted. She turned away from him and ran toward the stairs and up to her room.

Harry stared at the spot she had just been and he felt his eyes well up with tears. How could this be happening? He didn't know what to do or say.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. "Listen mate," Ron said, but Harry brushed him away.

"Just leave me alone, I need to be alone," Harry whispered, heading toward the portrait hole and out of the common room.

His life was now in ruins, Hermione's heart and soul was crushed by none other than himself, and he was sure he was in hell, and the worst part of it was, he deserved it. He deserved every bit of it.


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