Chapter 167
Chapter 167 A new worry
Doris paced the small tent for what felt like hours. The dirt on the floor marked her small path she took back and forth where she wasn't a step out of rhythm. She wasn't even sure how much time had passed since they arrived at the camp, but she knew William would come for her soon and she would have to tell him.
Briefly, she wondered if it was possible for her to keep it a secret until she was positive that she was with child. But the thought of him finding out that she hid it from him was worse than telling him now. At least if she was wrong, he could let go of his worries.
What if he didn't want this? She couldn't imagine that he would. He'd lived his whole life being free and living for no one but himself-now she threatened that lifestyle for him. She remembered all the times he told her she didn't matter or that he didn't need a mate. What would he say to this?
Beth left her to her own thoughts soon after she settled in. It was wise for her friend to leave before he got here. If only she could disappear too. It would be so easy to take her packed bag and leave in the middle of the night with one of the horses
“Doris.” A deep voice startled her right out of her thoughts as it always did. Doris turned to see William by the entrance. His arms were crossed over his chest as he watched her pace like a pathetic fool.
“William.” Doris cleared her throat and forced her shaky hands to remain still at her sides. She knew he watched every move she made as if he was calculating it all in his mind. She was not his prey, she would be stronger than that.
William crossed the room and seated himself on the edge of the bed near her. She wanted to force him to stand and face her, but him sitting almost made her calmer. As if he wasn't as big as he was before and she could handle him now. “Do you want to tell me what's wrong or do I have to force it out of you?”
Doris picked at her nails silently before she finally went to sit next to him. “Okay. I don't know how to say this because I'm not even sure of it myself.” Doris started. He remained silent and she tried to pretend that she was alone just so she had enough nerve to say it out loud-even with his eyes burning into her. “Beth thinks I might be with child.” She blurted out.
Silence. Deafening, awful silence filled the room. Doris pinched herself to remind herself that this moment was real and she wasn't drowning in her own misery alone. She opened her mouth to say more, but nothing would come out.
"When did you discover this?” William finally asked. He hadn't moved an inch towards her. It sounded as if he was holding his breath more than anything. Perhaps he was about to choke on the information.
“I'm still not sure if it's even true but Beth thinks my nausea and dizziness these past few days might be the symptoms of pregnancy but she isn't positive yet either.”
"Past few days?” William stood. “Why didn't you tell me you were sick?”
“I thought you had enough to deal with, William. I didn't want to add to your long list.”
William dropped to his knee in front of her so he could be eye level. She leaned back a little to take in his full expression. Worry? Dread? She couldn't tell what he felt in the slightest-and she hated that. “You shouldn't have hidden that from me."
“I thought it would have passed but it comes and goes at least once a day. I didn't, this was the last thing I would have guessed it was.” Doris hesitated. “What does this mean?
“It means you're not going anywhere near the battlefield. I should have you taken to where they have Daniel-"
“William.” Doris sighed and took his face in her hands. She could see his mind spinning faster than his mouth and that was always dangerous. “What does this mean?”
William gripped her hands but didn't move them from his face. “It means we will get you checked and it means I will do everything to keep you safe. If anyone looks at you strange, I'll rip their head off before they can explain themselves.”
Doris rested her forehead against his own. Slowly she felt her worry start to burn away but never completely. “I wasn't sure how you were going to act.”
William stayed silent.
“Tell me what's going through your mind to distract me from my own.” Doris whispered.
“I'm thinking about my father.” William said quietly. “I wonder how he felt when he learned his mate was with child-with me.”
“I'm sure he had the need to protect her too.”
William kissed her palm before he stood. “I'm going to go see if the medical tent is up yet. They might not know for sure, but they must have something that would help.” He grumbled.
“William-"
“I just need a minute.” He said before he left her. Doris watched the entrance for eternity wondering if he would pop back in. It wasn't until it grew dark that she realized he had truly left her when she needed him the most.
“Doris, I brought you some dinner.” Beth announced loudly since there wasn't a door to knock on. She entered with a large tray of food that made her starving and sick all at once. She couldn't decide if she wanted to eat everything on the tray-or shove it all in the garbage.
“Thank you Beth.” Doris forced herself to finally stand. Her legs felt like jelly and it made her want to fall instantly back into the bed and sleep until the war was over. Until all of this was over.
“How did he take it?" Beth whispered as she handed Doris a plate. She glanced around the room as if to make sure he wasn't in here with her hiding.
“I'm not sure. He seemed fine at first and then he left. He said he needed a minute and never came back.”
"He did? I saw him across the camp a few hours ago but I haven't seen him since.”
“Perhaps he left me here.” Doris mumbled and sat herself down again to pick at her food. “I honestly don’t know how he felt.”
“He probably just needs to process it. I'd give him time.” Beth kissed Doris's head and then left the tent. Doris finished her food and got ready for bed. 1
Doris woke in the middle of the night when she felt something wrap around her body.
“Shh.” William whispered against her ear. She relaxed in his grip and it was then that she noticed his hand on her stomach. I
"Where were you?” Doris asked.
“I had a few things to deal with.” William grumbled against her hair. It felt like forever since he had slipped into bed with her. She wasn't even sure that they were going to share beds or not while they were here, but she melted into him as if no time had passed at all.
“I thought you decided to leave.” Doris whispered. He stiffened behind her.
“Leave my mate and child?"
"Me." Doris said simply. His grip tightened on her and he flipped her over to face him.
“I would rip up the earth to find you. You can't get rid of me.” William trailed his hand down her side. It was almost distracting. 2
“Is this what you want? I didnt think you would have wanted a-child with someone like me.”
“You mean you didn't think I would want a child with my mate? There isn't another person ! would have rather it be.” William said quietly, just for her ears.
Doris traced her fingers across his chin. “I know what has been running through your head since I told you. You're thinking of your parents.”
William turned his head away. “She died shortly after I was born.” 1
“That wouldn't be us, William.” Doris whispered.
"You can't guarantee that, and neither can I. My father never looked at me the same and never got over his broken heart. I don't want to feel the same about my child if you were gone.”
Doris sat up. “I can take care of myself now—"
“So could my mother. She was a rogue and she was poisoned at a place where she felt safe.” William said. His eyes were angry and sad and she wasn't sure how to tame it.
"We will take it one day at a time, then.”
“You won't go near this battle, promise me that.” William demanded.
“I won't. I promise.” 2