Chapter 32
Miserable. That was how he felt, as Ian opened the door and shuffled himself in after the others.
Dragging a hand over his face, he fished out his phone. It was nearly half past five in the morning. He had searched everywhere, every nook and corner he could think of, called all her friends, but to no avail. He just could not find her anywhere.
The others had refused to acknowledge him, even in the slightest. They all had put in all their efforts, rushing around, searching for her, but when it came to him, they simply turned their faces away.
You deserve it, the voice in his head growled and Ian's shoulders slumped in defeat.
Where could she be? He wondered as the rain began yet again. Weather, as it was in Ireland, had again decided to change its course, going from a perfectly calm night to thunder storms and sudden bursts of rain.
Gathering courage, he dialled her number yet again. A faint noise caught his ear and his eyes widened. Cocking his head, he caught the sheer notes of Sonia's ringtone.
"She's here," he mumbled before flying up the stairs.
The phone kept ringing, as he burst in her room. Frowning at the empty bed, he rushed to the balcony door and pushed them open, his smile dimming the instant he noted the empty space.
Turning around, he shuffled in the room. The phone was still ringing somewhere. He began searching around, spotting it just as the ringtone stopped. Picking it up from the pillow, he stared at it in disbelief.
"Aye," Ian turned around to fund Jake standing in the doorway, "She left her phone with Dim."
Ian frowned, "Then why did you all lie?"
Jake snorted as he walked in, coming to a stop directly in front of him, "So that you won't break others' hearts too. Mom, Dad, Uncles, Aunts, they don't know about it and we didn't want them to get hurt too."
Ian shook his head as he sat down heavily on her bed. Jake sat beside him, placing a reassuring hand over Ian's shoulder, "Why do you hate her so much?"
Ian shook his head once again, "I don't hate her Jake."
"Then why do you keep hurting her?"
Ian closed his eyes at that, "Because I'm afraid, Jake. I'm afraid she'll hurt me and so I push her away all the time," he looked up in Jake's eyes, "Don’t you see? She came to us just to leave. She's going to leave one day. No matter how much you try, we are not her family. You don't even know if she'll be here in Ireland or go back to her country once she fulfils her damn quest."
Jake took a quiet breath as he watched his brother so broken for the first time. Ian was the toughest when it came to feelings, "Ian. Everybody leaves. Even I'll be gone one day. That doesn't mean you stop loving. And we are her family," Jake squeezed his shoulder, "That's what she believes. And that's what everyone else believes too. Family doesn't always equates to blood, Ian," he patted his shoulder before getting up and walking to the door.
"Jake?" He stopped and turned to Ian, "What do I do now?"
He merely shrugged a shoulder, "Simple. Just apologize. She'll forgive."
***
Ian sat on the living room couch, others sprawled around him. As Sonia had arranged a trip for their parents, just a quaint cottage for a few days in the countryside, the boys had decided to stay close as they waited for Sonia.
Ian looked around at the others. They were a deep asleep. Emm beside him, Dim - as usual - on the floor with a ton of pillows, Gage on the bean bag and Jake managed on the love seat, his legs dangling over the armrest.
Ian sighed as he looked back at the TV screen. Apparently, he was not supposed to get any sleep.
Huffing out a breath again, he got up and made his way to the kitchen. Getting a bag of chips and a can of coke he was going back to the living room when he noticed the library door open.
Changing his mind about the TV, he decided to grab a book to while away his time and walked inside. A couple of steps in and he stopped dead in his tracks.
There, on the couch, lay Sonia. Sleeping peacefully, her jacket thrown on the coffee table in front of the couch, her bag lying beside it. The early sunrays from the windows fell on her legs, casting half her body in light and the upper half in dark.
Ian didn't know when his feet started moving or when he reached her, but he found himself crouching by her side.
"Hey," he whispered, a smile breaking over his face as he took in her sleeping form. Leaning forward, he touched her cheek, his fingers skimming over the skin lightly.
He frowned as he noticed the dirt on her face. Moving back, he looked at her hands resting on her stomach. Taking one in his hand, he turned it over to find it dirty too. Tuning his head, his gaze found the jacket and as he had expected, it was covered in dirt and grass stains.
That's when he noticed the backpack. His fingers reached forward and moved the flap away and he stiffened as he pulled the gift out.
The wrapping was ruined, the bow nearly torn off the surface. It looked as if it was packed with great detail and care but was completely wasted.
Ian took a shaky breath in as he put it away before turning back to her. He took hold of her small, cold hand in both of his, "I was wrong," he breathed, a lone tear running down his cheek as he watched her long lashes fluttering over her cheeks, "I was so wrong," his head bowed down and his shoulders shook, "I'm so so sorry, love," he whispered, kissing her hand softly as he tried to hold in his tears.
Dim, Gage, Emm and Jake stood silently by the doorway, watching, as a butterfly slowly changed a beast.