Her Missing Pieces, His Teasure

Niall's Pov

She just sat there.

She just sat there and she wont talk. She wont talk to me, she wont talk to Valero, she blocked me from her mind and completely put her barrier up--blocking me from whatever she might've been feeling.

It killed me that I was the cause of her pain and the reason why she wouldn't even look me in the eyes. She held onto me while we made it to the small river about three miles away from where the fight just occured, but after she was clean and wearing my shirt, she just sat in front of the water with her knees against her chest and her chin on them, staring at the water.

The only time she spoke was to protest when Valero began to dig a hole to put Clarissa to rest, and so we brought her to where the river's current was stronger, where she cleaned her off, placed leaves all around her and sent her down the rushing water.

She said Clarissa wouldn't want to be subjected to lying in the ground. Even after death she would want to be free. I never understood the relationship she had with the rogue, but I have come to learn that they had a link. Shocker.

I was gone for one day and my mate formed what should've been an impossible link with a wolf. I knew, however, that there was more behind their connection that I didn't know. Also, from what I could detect from Zoey's demeanour, she learnt something and was thinking hard on it. But all I knew was that whatever bond they had, it really did a number on her.

And she seemed to be blaming it on me.

Sighing, I sat a few feet away from her, knowing well enough that she wouldn't want to talk to me yet. I couldn't feel her emotions, but I was hurting because she was hurting.

My wolf whimpered loudly in my head, trying to get me to go comfort her. It was only instinct for him to want and need to comfort her, but he didn't understand that when she doesn't want to see me, I can't change her mind. So, I simply watched as she stared in the dark abyss of the river.

The moon shone down in all its glory, maybe even brighter than usual, as if celebrating the homecoming of one of its own.

There were always strange stories being passed down from generation to generation, that when the moon's purest children die, it shines brighter than usual.

Surely we never believed it, but could it be true with this Clarissa rogue? Did I misjudge her for the person I never thought she could be? Was the only reason why she was so persistent in pursuing my mate was for her own good? Did she know something about Zoey's true bloodline? Maybe that was the reason why they had a link. Could they have been related?

Valero mentioned something about them having a mindlink, and as far as my knowledge of mindlinks go, those can only occur between pack members who could only become 'one' from the blood of an Alpha. The only possible bond that could initiate a mindlibk is a mate bond. Otherwise, they shouldn't have been able to form any kind of link--even if they are related.

This only led me to believe that there was a lot more to my mate that I needed to learn.

The worse part was, that's all I had been trying to do. It was never my intention to leave this long and have her worried.

My initial plan entailed me returning home the very day I left, but my cover got blown and I had to do my best to resolve the matter civilly. But instead of making it better, I led my mate, my cousin and a rogue that obviously meant something to her, into what could've been a death trap.

I sighed deeply, hanging my head in shame as I thought about how much more worse this could've went. The only thing that gave me joy was the fact that she was okay. Physically at that.

"Hey bro" I heard my cousin's voice soft and steady as he sat beside me. He only wore his pant like I did, since his shirt got lost somewhere in the crossfire, and I gave mine to Zoey after she shifted and shredded her clothes.

"Hey" I mumbled before burying my head between my chest and knees again. I didn't feel like talking.

"How you holding up?" I knew what he really wanted to know was how Zoey was doing, but he didn't want to ask directly.

"She shut me out. I cant link her or feel her and she wont talk to me. I just think we should all get some sleep. It's well past two in the morning now" I knew I was tired as hell, but I couldn't dear bring myself to close my eyes knowing my sweet beautiful mate was hurting.

The silence sat between us for a while, and I thought he decided to just get some rest. Instead, he spoke again after a while.

"Remember when we were ten? You, Daniel and I were playing on the stairs that day?" I whipped my head towards him in shock that he dared mentioning Daniel. He never mentioned Daniel. Ever.

Nonetheless, I nodded as he continued. "We were all on that staircase, and we knew we shouldn't have been playing there... Yet, we did and-" I rubbed his shoulder in comfort, knowing that even after nine years it must've been hard for him.

Daniel was Valero's twin brother. He died when we were ten. We were playing on the staircase, and Valero slipped on one of his toys. But just as he he tipped over and was about to fall, Daniel caught him and switched their bodies so that he was the one who took the blow. He died in Valero's embrace, and I was watching in shock.

Uncle Aiden never really got over the loss, hence why when Valero was old enough to take over the pack at eighteen, he didn't hesitate to step down.

I didn't understand, however, why he was bringing the topic up. We hadn't talked about him in so long, even after we accepted his death.

"I blamed myself for years for his death you know?" He turned to look at me through the darkness of the night."When I shifted for the first time, it didn't feel right because he wasn't shifting with me. If it hadn't been for you, I don't think I could've become the man I am today"

"What's your point Val?"I asked, not wanting to sound annoyed or snappy, just unsure why he'd bring up Daniel after so many years randomly on a night when my mate was blocking me out.

He chuckled lightly as he fiddled with a stone between his fingers. "My point is, you were there all those years reminding me that I couldn't have seen it coming, and what Daniel did for me was far more than my ten year old mind could understand and comprehend. He didn't die in vain because I swore to be the man that I knew he would've been--the Alpha that he would've been...I think it's my turn to remind you that"

"But Clarissa didn't die for me. And no matter what I tell myself, it will always be my fault why she died" I reasoned, feeling guilt rise in me once again.

"Did you really just say she didn't die for you?" He asked flabbergasted, taking me by surprise. "Are you telling me that she didn't jump in front of your mate to take a silver bullet? Clarissa didn't died for the one woman that will determine your joy and peace forever?"

I hung my head again, looking it from that point of view. If she didn't take that bullet, my Zoey would've been...

I had been so caught up on how Zoey wasn't talking to me, that I didn't really stop to consider that if Clarissa was just a second too late...

My heart clenched just thinking about it, and all I could do was pray a silent prayer to the moon for her soul, silently asking it to relay a thank you to her from me.

"I-I didn't.." I couldn't find the words to say to him. But if his aim was to make me feel better, it didn't help. The only relief I felt towards the whole situation was that she took it on herself to sacrifice herself for my mate. And I know that sounded wrong in every aspect, but it was how I felt.

"I know. I know. But, instead of moping around down here, go stay with your mate. She might not show it, but she needs you. She is feeling that gratitude more than you are right now, and she feels terrible at the fact that she is grateful that another wolf died for her. She feels guilty for being happy about what Clarissa did for her. But you have to let her know that it's okay to be grateful for a sacrifice that big. And before you ask me how I know what she's feeling, just consider that I have been there."

I pondered on his words for a while, realizing just how true they were.

"When did you get so wise?" I ultimately asked.

I saw now that I wouldn't get through to Zoey if I just sat around and wait for her to let me in. She has lost her dad and her mom, almost lost her sister, and she thought she was going to lose me too. I was a terrible mate for even considering leaving her be for the night. She needed me, whether I admitted it or not.

Valero gave me an encouraging smile as I got up and brushed the dirt from my jeans. I sat beside her at the bank of the river, but she didn't look a me once or acknowledge my presence.

Sighing, I scooted a little closer to her, keeping just enough distance as not to startle her. From what I've witnessed growing up, women are very snappy when they are angry, frustrated or sad, and I didn't even know which one Zoey was feeling--maybe all.

"Why did you leave Niall?" I was shocked to hear her small sweet voice asking me the question. I was still recovering from the shock that she actually spoke to me, that I took a while to answer her question.

"I-um..I came here to try and get more information about where your dad might've been from" I told her truthfully, totally unaware of how she would take it.

She removed her chin from the gap between her knees and her chest as she peered at me. She wasn't saying anything, and her face and eyes didn't give away anything either. It made me anxious to know what was going on in that beautiful mind of hers.

"Please say something Zoey" I sighed, feeling desperate for some sort of emotion from her.

"What am I suppose to say Niall? Thank you? I'm flattered?" Her tone caught me by surprise, and it killed me even more that she was this upset with me. "You could've told me Niall! You SHOULD'VE told me!"

It was then that I saw how much I really hurt her, but it was never my intention to do so. After I arrived, I learnt that they didn't know anything about him. I knew it was a long shot, so I decided to just leave right away without looking back. But when I was about to leave that same day, the mask I used to hide my scent wore off, and they all got so defensive after knowing an Alpha was in their territory.

I had no intention to fight them, so I let them know that I came in peace for simple information to help my mate. Of course, that was a mistake. They knew they could use her against me, and even with my strength and speed, I couldn't fight the whole Rogue Burg population, neither did I intend to.

So, I did a simple favour that they asked so that I didn't get caught up in a rogue war--especially against my Zoey. It took longer than I expected, so I decided to leave without helping them finish what they asked me to do, but somehow, someone knew who I was, meaning they knew my pack and knew my Zoey.

My border patrol was one of the strongest in the country, but I performed treason going on their property, and when I didn't want to holdup on my end or the bargain, that could potentially mean war that I was not ready for, nor intended for my mate to be caught in.

I guess that's when she felt my panic, and it never eased until I completed the favour for them. I should've considered that it would've led her to me, thinking I was in trouble.

When I felt her close, I panicked again as I didn't want her anywhere near that place. If only she had waited a little longer for me to reach the border like I asked, and we'd all go home safe.

But I wouldn't dare try blaming this on her. She was a worried wolf for her mate...I should've known not to try and get her to turn back. Now, her friend is dead and it was all because I didn't tell her that I was leaving.

"I know" I held my head down, too ashamed to look her in the eyes." I didn't want to tell you and have your hopes, only to have them crushed if I didn't learn anything. It wasn't suppose to last this long but they figured out that I wasn't a rogue and I might've mentioned that I just wanted information to help my mate and they threatened to go after you, so to show them that I had no intention of war, I-"

"It doesn't matter Niall" She mumbled without looking at me."It doesn't matter anymore...Did you, did you learn anything?" She met my eyes again, but I couldn't even hold on to that small hint of light in her eyes, since I had no good news to relay to her.

She sighed and buried her head in her knees again after I shook my head. I wanted to hold her, I wanted to hold her so bad. But if I should so much as reach out for her, she would hiss at me like a kitten.

"Zoey I'm so, so sorry. I know now that I should've never done something this big without informing you. In my mind, I was just trying to do what's best for you. I wanted to protect you, and I thought that if I told you, you would've asked to come with me. When I didn't come home, it was all because I didn't want to put you in harms way. I didn't want to tell you what my aim was, because I didn't want to see that disappointed look that you have right now. I just want you to be happy, that's all I ever wanted. It's why I do such preposterous things sometimes even if you don't understand. Just... Just know I did it all for you."

When she didn't answer, I continued after letting out a deep sigh.

" I don't know, and wont even try to understand the connection you had to the rog- I mean, Clarissa. But I am so deeply sorry for being the reason why she um-died" I perked up when she actually turned to look at me again. But my heart broke when I saw her eyes swimming with sadness.

"It wasn't your fault. I blame myself for bringing her along. I could've killed Valero too. If only I listened to Asia and believe that you could take care of yourself."

"Hey hey baby don't do that to yourself" I didn't yield to her protest anymore. I just knew I had to hold her in my arms to show her that I was there. "I know this is hard and you have every right to be upset with me. But this is not your fault Zoey. We are wolves. Our instincts are our sole driver of life next to love. Imagine having both instincts and love forcing you to go after your mate that you believed was in trouble? You didn't do anything wrong, and I know Clarissa knows that. If anyone is to blame here, it's me okay? Don't blame yourself for caring"

Her shoulders shook as she cried in my chest, causing my insides to plummet in grief, guilt and shame. All I ever wanted to do was make her happy. Now, I was the sole cause of her being so broken. It tore me apart.

It all became so much worse when she let her walls down. If I thought she was hurting before, I didn't know how to describe it now.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek as her tears soaked my bare chest. I didn't know what to say to her, nor did I know what to do. But I did know that even if I was her least favourite person in the world in that moment, I had to be there for her.

And so, I tried to be strong as I let down my own walls and flooded her with all the love, care, adoration and warmth I could muster, just to show her that she meant the world to me.

She wrapped her arms around me tighter as I whispered sweet nothings and apologies in her ear, and rubbed small circles on her arm. It took a while for her to settle down, but I never tried to stop her. She shuffled so that I was cradling her to my chest.

"I'm b-broken Niall" Her small, sweet voice broke me from my thoughts as her emotions continued to subside. "I always have been, but I never tried to acknowledge it. I just always accepted that people die and life moves on." She hiccuped over a lingering sob as she continued.

I listened attentively, knowing she didn't need me to butt in, but simply listen.

"I accepted that I didn't know my dad. I accepted that my mom was sickly and I accepted that maybe I am a high ranking wolf. Even when I didn't shift at 16 like normal wolves, I accepted that I was different. But the load of all that acceptance crumbled my foundation and I didn't even notice until now." She gazed up at me, as if checking if I was still listening before bringing her hand to her mouth as she yawned.

"I've-I've always looked on the positive side of things. But after seeing Clarissa sail away on that thing, I couldn't get her words out my head, telling me to go to Emerald Pack and learn the complete truth. But how much more accepting can I bare Niall? What if what I learn isn't what I want to know? What if it breaks me even more than help me find out who I really am? Clarissa told me that when I learn everything, I'd have to make decision that I might not like--that you might not like"

She shook her head twice, and it looked like she was on the brink of crying again, so I quickly rubbed her arm soothingly, providing as much comfort as possible.

"I can't do this Niall." She mumbled, sounding very much sleepy. "I cant do this over and over again. I'm not going. I don't need to know anything more. All I need to know is that I can find happiness here with you. I always thought that once I learn everything, I'd be able to move on completely and be the best mate and Luna for you... But don't you see Niall? I don't need that. I only need you and I'll be happy. I'm not going" She concluded firmly but quietly as her body grew heavier, showing me that she was falling asleep.

I was left stunned into silence as I watched her sleepy and sad eyes droop. I gently placed a kiss on her forehead before laying her beside me on the ground as she welcomed sleep. I laid beside her and pulled her to my chest again. I saw that Valero was also sleeping, leaving me alone to my thoughts.

I didn't even know that Clarissa told Zoey that her answers were at Emerald Pack in England. In fact, I had no idea what she already knew after picking the rogue's brain.

But how do I tell my mate, who just cried her heart and soul out in my arms, simply because she had to accept painful truth after truth all her life, that she needed to go and accept just this one more, despite the risks?