Her Forever

Sadie

As soon as I closed the door to the Jeep, Lilly swung open the front porch door and jumped off the three steps. She knocked me flat on my back, giving me the biggest hug. I started laughing uncontrollably while Tobias just g*****d.

“Lilly Mariah, get off Sadie right now!! Leave the poor girl alone! She has been through enough this week!” I could hear Mrs. Dobson s****m from her kitchen window.

“Oh, right, Sadie, I am so sorry about what happened.” Lilly sat up and rubbed my face with her fingertips.

“What happened?” Tobias asked, concerned.’

“My… my aunt passed away last week; we just had the funeral yesterday.” Tobias’ softened, a bit of sadness in his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have been here?”

“I didn’t want to worry, ya’ll. Maria didn’t like enormous crowds, anyway.”

“Well, I’m so sorry…” Tobias helped me up and hugged me. Not the flirty, rub his hands all over my back and try to get me to blush hug, but a warm one.

“Welp!” Lilly jumped in surprise. “Let’s get inside.” Clapping her hands gingerly, she walked off not daring to look back.

Lilly was sporting a pastel purple bob with her matching fingernails. She was always the artistic one while I settled for things less attention-grabbing.

We all walked inside and grabbed a seat. Lilly and I took the couch while Tobias took the rocking chair in the corner.

All the news of having a cabin in my name gave me some great excitement. There had been a lot that I missed out on growing up. Now that I have a place to stay and not pay rent, this might be good. I just need to work enough for food, clothes, and some furnishings for the home.

This might be good for me. I think I should take this chance. I’ve never thought about leaving because of Marie, but now I have nothing holding me back. Lilly and Tobias will be upset, but they have their own lives in college and are only back for a short time.

Once everyone had a few snacks and the room became silent, I took this opportunity to let them know what my plans were.

“Guys, I’m moving.”

Everyone in the room looked at me like I had horns growing out of my head. Tobias stood up from his chair and knocked it over while coming towards me.

The look in his eyes said it all, and he was not happy.

“I’m,…” I started, “I’m going to move. There is a cabin a few provinces over in Aunt Maria’s will. It’s all mine, and I think I want to move there and start something new.” I gave a faint smile. “It would be good for me to start over, a new adventure.”

The Dobsons looked excited for me to do something different; they knew I’d been here too long. The town was too small, and I never really took the time to make many friends. Lilly looked indifferent and Tobias looked absolutely pissed.

“You can’t leave, Sadie!” Tobias yelled. Mr. Dobson put his hand on his shoulder and had him sit down. “I think you need to watch your tone.” Mr. Dobson grunted.

Mr. Dobson was a typical southern gentleman, and he did not tolerate men raising voices to women.

Tobias ignored Mr. Dobson and got up and walked towards me. Tobias has never openly spoken of his love to me in front of people. People knew by the way he looked at me, but he was still quite quiet about it since I’ve rejected him in private every time.

“Sadie, I will move back home; I’ll complete school online. I want to be with you, please.” He grabbed my hand and put it flat against his face.

Lilly was in the corner looking absolutely devastated, and it didn’t go unnoticed by her mother.

“Tobias,…” I started, but he interrupted me. “Please, Sadie, I care for you, and I love you. I always have you can’t leave. I’m moving home. I’ve got all my transfer papers done where I can do it online and be close to you.”

He looked so heartbroken. He knew what my answer would be, yet he still had that small sliver of hope.

“Tobias,…” I took my hand from his. “Let’s talk in private; this shouldn’t be talked about here…”

“No, say it now. They all know I care for you,’’ Tobias begged.

I shut my eyes tight and gripped his hand in mine. “This is for the best.” I could feel my nose tickling, and my eyes stung. “You are wonderful, but I cannot return those feelings.”

At that moment, with all the tension in the room, I decided I should leave. This was not what I wanted. I didn’t know Tobias would make such a big scene, and now Lilly was completely heartbroken. In her heart, she knew, she knew Tobias’s heart belonged to me, and in that instant, I broke his heart again and again.

Everyone was silent, staring at Tobias and me. I slowly sat up from my seat in the corner and walked to the door. I turned around and gave a small smile, and grabbed the keys to my Jeep. Somehow I knew I wasn’t just saying goodbye to Tobias, but Lilly as well.

The rest of the week, I packed up boxes and took things to the dump to be disposed of. We had little, so it didn’t take long. I set up a local management company to look over the property and rent it out; that way, I would get a monthly check.

I sat on my bed the last night, staring at the overhead fan. I didn’t have work all week because the Dobsons said it was best to rest after all the long days of cleaning and packing.

I would miss them, but I also knew they didn’t want me there while Lilly was working.

Mrs. Dobson gave me my last paycheck, smiled at me, and told me she loved me. Her husband gave me a quick squeeze on the shoulder and let me know they would be a phone call away if I needed anything.

My mind was made up at that moment that I wouldn’t call, just for Lilly. This was her family, not mine. She needed their comfort more than me.

Tobias had stopped by earlier in the evening, the first time I saw him since the incident. He looked tired, bags under his eyes and his hair disheveled. The haunted look on his face told me just how much he loved me and really did not want me to go. It wasn’t the kind of love I was looking for. I was looking for undying devotion and complete surrender of the heart. Tobias could live without me, by filling more women in his bed.

I wanted to love him. Despite some of his flaws, it would make things much easier. I wanted to tell him I cared for him, k**s him, and make him feel better. But I was in love with the idea of being in love. The pain he was experiencing hurt me to the core. Could I do that? Could I just lie to myself and love him and make him the happiest man on Earth?

All the flirtatious comments, always telling me I’m beautiful and worth waiting a thousand lifetimes for, made me want to. However, I knew he was with other girls. He knew it, too; he couldn’t keep it in his pants. If he truly cared, I mean truly. Wouldn’t he have waited for me?

Besides that, I just didn’t have the sparks I wanted. The ache that would appear when you missed something. When he was at college, I didn’t crave his attention nor miss his touch. Something was missing. He didn’t fill my heart like my aunt says your soulmate does.

Am I being selfish and overthinking things?

“Sadie,” he whispered. He looked at me, pleading. “I know I can’t change your mind; you’ve always been so determined.” He sniffed as he glanced down into my eyes. “I want you to be safe, and text me when you get there.”

I smiled back at him, tears threatening to wash away what little of my eyeliner was left.

“You know,” I started. “You are really strong, Tobias, and quite a hit with the ladies,” I winked. “You deserve someone who will love with the same fire and intensity as you do.”

I walked over to him and put my head to his chest, and engulfed him in a warm hug. He quickly grabbed me and didn’t let go. We stood there for a long time, listening to the crickets sing their sad song.