Chapter 32 - Aubree (Part 2)
His body tensed next to her, making her shrink away.
“Why? They’re monsters.”
She flinched at his words. He would think that. No doubt that Carina would have told him every terrible thing about them that she could to brainwash him, to convince him that the lycans were the enemy.
But of course they were the enemy; lycans killed vampires to protect humans. They had for thousands of years. Stone told her that. Moreover, they had two forms, a human one and a giant wolf-like one. They were terrifying, even though she hadn’t seen them face-to-face. They were created to defend, to protect, but also to kill and destroy.
Vampires would never get to see the side of the lycans that Aubree saw. The fun, family-oriented, and loving side that had warmed her to them despite their sometimes rough, bodybuilder exteriors. They would never intentionally hurt her like a vampire would.
She lowered her gaze to the bed. “You don’t know them like I do.”
“You’re right, I don’t,” he said, rather roughly.
His tone hit a nerve, and she snapped her attention up and met his gaze with a hardened one. “You met Gwen. She’s one of them.”
His brows scrunched together in confusion at this revelation, but she continued, her voice growing stronger and denying him a chance to rebut her statement. “And the whole reason she stayed with us so long after the accident was to ensure our safety from the vampires! Even after she left, she and Gavin kept watch over us. Before this whole thing even blew out of proportion, they were there!”
She pulled away from him and tucked her legs underneath her, locking her hands together in her lap.
“The moment I moved in with you, the lycans had been there keeping watch over me to make sure I was safe because they knew I was a soulmate. They could sense it. They could feel the connection we share, even though I’m not one of them. They’ve been protecting me since the beginning, and it wasn’t until that accident that I learned the truth—and I couldn’t tell you.”
She watched as his face turned to one of shock as her words registered. Looking down at her hands, she realized she had been clenching them together. Inhaling a deep breath, she relaxed before looking back up at him, hesitantly.
“Don’t you see, Dan? It’s because I’m Stone’s soulmate that Carina came to you. She doesn’t care about you and what you want. She’s trying to get to me. She’s trying to destroy me and my bond with Stone because that’s what vampires do. They kill soulmates and anyone else they can.”
“So do lycans.” His voice was distant, as though he was thinking about what Aubree had told him, was concerned about her well-being and yet, he held himself back. “They kill vampires as if vampires don’t have loved ones. Carina’s Beloved, Adranus, was killed a few weeks ago by a lycan. They’d been together for centuries. Even Lily was nearly killed by one, and a dozen others that Carina had cared about were killed over the centuries. They were her family and the lycans destroyed them as if their lives meant nothing.”
Chewing on her bottom lip, Aubree looked down at her hands in her lap again, thinking about Stone and the pain he must have endured losing Adelaide a century ago. She didn’t want to picture Carina having to endure the same pain that Stone did. Carina was the one Stone was most worried about killing her. Carina was the enemy. Aubree didn’t want to feel remorse for the one who was responsible for endangering her life and turning Dan into a vampire.
It was a never-ending feud, wasn’t it? Both lycans and vampires would continue to kill each other for another thousand years. It didn’t matter how many loved ones were lost, they would continue to destroy each other one-by-one.
“Gwen was almost killed last night,” she found herself saying. “We would have lost her too if I hadn’t been there to help bring her back.” She swallowed and tentatively raised her eyes to meet his crimson ones. “They’re my family, Dan. All of them. They need me and I need them.”
Her gaze fell as her heart tightened within, and took a deep breath. She remembered them all gathered together in the garden, laughing and teasing each other as they transplanted seedlings into the earth. The time Alistair called her Knuddelmuddel in the kitchen with Gwen and Gavin. The time Gunner listened in the yard, hearing more than the few words that had been exchanged between them.
They were her family. She could feel it. It had started with the bond, pulling her toward them all, and it grew from there. She loved their unique personalities, how they interacted with each other, loved, and supported each other.
She remembered the way Stone leaned on her for support last night, his body spent from the near loss of his daughter. The way his blue eyes gazed into hers, so tenderly, like she was his world. She felt beautiful in his eyes. Loved. Cherished. The way his touch, sometimes gentle, sometimes rough, made her shiver in delight or scorch her skin with desire.
How could she live her life without him? Without all of them now?
“I love him,” she whispered, the full weight of her emotions pressing down on her chest. “I love them all, not just my soulmate, but all of them.”
Would she ever get to tell Stone how she really felt now?
“Do you?” Dan asked, his voice thick and heavy. “Even though they’re monsters and kill vampires without a second thought, do you really love them?”
Looking up, she saw him hugging his legs to his chest and peering at her over his lean bicep.
“Yes, but they are no more monstrous than vampires are.”
“What would happen if I turned you?”
Her breath caught in her throat at the thought. “They would kill you.”
“What about you? Would they kill you too?”
She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t push the blockage from her throat. “Don’t,” she choked out, shifting back and adding more distance between them.
The mere thought of what would happen sent a coil of pain to twist in her stomach.
In the blink of an eye, he snatched her arm and pulled her closer to him, making her cry out in surprise and fear.
“Would they kill you too, Bree?” he asked again
“I don’t know.”
She didn’t. As much as she wanted to believe they couldn’t kill her given the chance, a small part of her wasn’t sure.
“But it would kill them inside if you turned me,” she added. Especially Stone.
She couldn’t bear the thought of his heart breaking again. He already lost Adelaide, Arthur, and his parents to vampires, how much more could his heart take?
As a fresh stab of pain shot through her heart, she tried to pull free of Dan’s grasp, but couldn’t. He held on firmly without flinching and it scared her. He possessed more strength than before when he was human. He could hurt her just like the one in Wisconsin...
Crying out, she pleaded with him as she put a hand on top of the icy cold one that gripped her arm. “Please don’t, Dan! Kill me if you have to, just please don’t turn me into a vampire!”
He released her and she shrank back from him, holding herself as her heart clenched in fear and pain. All she could think about was how becoming a vampire would hurt the others. How much they would suffer from her becoming their enemy. The choices they would be forced to make. The consequences if they actually did kill her.
It would break them. That thought struck her deeply and she couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. They cascaded down her cheeks as she fisted her blouse at her sides and pulled it tightly across her back.
A moan of pain ripped through him. Pulling away from her, he hung his head, his hair falling in his face. Her words hit him hard as their meaning sank in.
She would rather die than be with him.
He dug his fingers into his hair. “I did this for you.” His voice was strained and slightly high-pitched. “Carina explained everything to me and said if I became a vampire, I could save you from him and we could be together forever. I thought you loved me, Bree.”
“I can’t. I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Through her tears, she watched in anguish as he began to sob softly.
He’d changed. He felt different to her. She couldn’t quite figure out what it was about him that felt off, that made her skin break out in goosebumps, but after a few minutes of deliberation, she concluded that it had to be because he was a vampire.
He wasn’t the same Dan she had known and loved.
That Dan was dead.
As he gathered himself and drew himself up straight, she held her breath as his eyes, void of the life she once saw within, look at the wall across from him.
“I can’t do it,” he mumbled.
Aubree stiffened when he turned back to her.
“I can’t kill you and I can’t turn you against your will.” He lowered his eyes. “Maybe I’m a fool... but I love you. And I’ll always love you, Bree. But if you don’t feel the same for me... if you want to be with him... how can I force this on you?”
It was hard, and she could see it in his eyes and his body language. The defeat. The utter loss of everything he had hoped and dreamed of.
He gave up everything for her and she didn’t want him.
“Thank you,” she whispered, her heart breaking for him, but at the same time, she was relieved. The unsettling mixture of emotions brought more tears to pool in her eyes.
He didn’t respond and instead held his head in his hands for a few more minutes. When he finally lifted it, he looked to the door and said, “I gotta get you out of here before Carina comes back. If I don’t turn you, she will.”
He swallowed as he pressed his lips together. “Thing is, I don’t know how to get out of here either.”