SWNOVELS Chapter 51
ME: The lines are blurring.
ME: I’m PANICKING!!!!
I’m becoming powerless against Nova.
The worst mistake I could ever make.
Yesterday was unexpected.
Like I was a caught in an enchantment. I let him into my body again. When he touches me, I’m led by my body’s cravings to submit to his every whim. Let him stoke the flames of my desires.
However, it’s not what has my nerves frayed. It’s the way he unflinchingly stood up to my father. For me. Something not even my mother has done. Ever.
Yet Nova did.
Without a second thought. Without fear.
I could only watch, speechless. It was all I could do not to pull him aside and kiss him senseless. I felt every emotion under the sun in the span of a few hours. All evoked by my ruthless husband. I saw different sides to him, layers that I didn’t know he possessed. At least, not toward me.
He’s fogging my head, my rationality, and slicing through the walls around my heart.
The possessive and protective look in Nova’s eyes is haunting me still. I’ve been avoiding him ever since.
He knows about the scars.
He saw them.
And I was none the wiser. I always hid them with makeup that it has become second nature. Like brushing your teeth or bathing every morning. The resoluteness darkening Nova’s eyes will keep him digging until he uncovers the whole truth. And why? Because he wants to avenge me? What’s done is done. I’m not the damsel in distress I used to be.
Not anymore.
I don’t ever want to think about that period of my childhood.
Honestly, it doesn’t matter. Punishment was served, albeit not in the way I craved. I survived it and in the past years, I’ve been healing from the leftover damage—mostly mental—in my own twisted and depraved ways.
My phone pings in a rapid string of texts.
BIANCA: Pack your bags for a few days.
IRIS: Where are we going?
BIANCA: Girls’ trip.
BIANCA: Belated bachelorette party for Ro.
ME: Shouldn’t it be yours? Since your wedding’s in a couple months.
BIANCA: Yet neither of you thought to plan for it. So, I had to take the reins.
ME: I was preoccupied with my own. Speaking of which, what about our husbands?
BIANCA: They can survive a few days without us.
IRIS: Look who’s talking.
ME: Are you confusing minutes with days, Bee?
BIANCA: Shut up. Meet me at my house tomorrow.
ME: Better plan a kick-ass trip, Bee.
IRIS: See ya tomorrow, girls.
A few days away from Nova is bound to clear the daze in my head. Excitement thrumming in my veins, I run into the closet and start to pack.
***
“LAS VEGAS?” screams Iris in utter shock and awe, peeping out of the window as though she can make out the glamourous city from hundreds of feet in the sky. We’re still three hours away.
We’ve been in the air for over eighteen hours with a short layover before settling in the private plane again, yet none of us are tired. The second I got on board with my best friends, my troubles quieted and peace replaced it.
Bee and I exchange a glance, amused by Iris’s cute reaction. Her nose is smashed against the glass as she continues to stare in wonder at the clouds and the blue hue.
“Yes, Iris. We’ll be in Vegas very soon,” confirms Bianca.
Iris’s face flies back to us and she settles back against her seat. The shortest out of us but the most energetic. We call her own powerhouse.
“I’ve only seen it in movies and now I’ll be there,” she exclaims. “Is it really as beautiful and glitzy as they show?”
“It’s my first time here too,” I reveal.
“Me too,” adds Bianca. “Which movie made you want to come here, Iris?”
“The Hangover.”
“Seriously?” I laugh. “The Hangover?”
“Uh-huh. Three best friends. Bachelorette party. Fun times. Casinos,” she recites. “What’s not to love?”
“I don’t know. Drugs. Losing memories. Kidnapping and breaking laws,” I retort jovially. “Yeah, what’s not to love?”
“Are you sure you aren’t losing memories? Because was it me or you who bombed Nova’s car?” Iris sweetly retorts. I give her my middle finger.
“You better not be planning to spike our drinks,” warns Bianca with a narrowed gaze. “I, for one, would like to remember the fun we had.”
“Party pooper,” teases Iris.
“Need I remind you I planned this trip. You two were no help.”
I jump in. “Since when did the bride plan her own bachelorette?”
“Since she’s having it after the wedding,” jibes Bianca, smirking.
Iris leans closer and asks, “Speaking of which, what made you panic?”
They both wait, gazing at me earnestly and with burning curiosity. Afraid of my jumbled feelings and desperately needing their help to have it make sense, I blurt out, “I slept with Nova—I mean, I did… things with him. To him. Repeatedly.”
They look at each other and turn to me with wide and naughty grins. Sans surprise that I fell in bed with my enemy. The man they’re supposed to hate too. Instead of reminding me what a terrible mistake I’m making, they have other priorities.
“What things?” asks Bee, rising to join Iris opposite me. As though I’m in an interrogation and they’re tag teaming as detectives.
“Not important. The big picture is, I shouldn’t be getting close to Nova. In any capacity. He’s the vulture, trying to suck my blood dry, remember?”
“That’s vampires, Ro.”
I glare at Iris.
“Before we give our honest opinion, we need all the information.”
I stare, aghast. “How are what activities he and I did in bed relevant?”
“Activities?” snorts Iris.
Bianca shushes her. “You let us be the judge of that, Ro.”
“Fuck off. I’m not answering.”
“Are you feeling shy, Ro?” teases Bianca.
Iris mocks, “Does she even know how?”
Apparently, one lascivious stare from Nova and I turn into a schoolgirl with a crush. Even now, I can feel the telltale signs of a blush slowly blossoming on my cheeks. As my mind inadvertently goes to the memories of Nova’s monster cock and his filthy mouth.
“I’ll go first,” announces Bianca with a wicked grin. “Dash and I fucked in our car in your driveway.”
Our jaws drop while Bianca shamelessly shrugs.
“You what?” I yell. “When? The day you burned my kitchen?”
“Yep.” Her grin is smug. “Dash was pissed, feeling territorial, and it was the hottest sex of my life. And there is a lot to choose from.”
“Couldn’t Dash wait to get you home?”
“More like I couldn’t.” She blushes. “I like making him lose control. Besides, it was all his fault getting me all worked up by spanking me in the car.”
“What has lover boy done to my best friend?”
“Uh-uh,” tsks Bianca. “Stop diverting. Your turn.”
“Fine. We’ve made out, which happens every time he kisses me, which again happens all the time because he won’t listen even when I tell him no. And we’ve gone down on each other. Now he’s become all territorial, possessive, and protecting my honor by defending me against my father,” I finish, huffing slightly as I lay it all out.
“And you want more?”
“No!”
“She has a crush on Nova,” Iris mutters to Bianca, who nods her head along in agreement. Ignoring me, they have their own conversation about me, while I’m sitting right here.
“Makes sense. All these years of pent-up tension and secretly lusting after each other. The flirting—”
“There’s never been flirting,” I snap. They talk right over me.
“The ‘I hate you but want to kiss you’, scaring away her dates, and the forbidden feelings because they’re enemies and shouldn’t want each other. Classic case of boy bullying but secretly wanting her.”
“Did you just air-quote enemies, Bee?” It’s like I’m invisible.
Will I get away with it if I just push them off this plane?
“Modern day Romeo and Juliet,” surmises Iris.
Kill me now.
“Romeo and Juliet never hated each other,” I snap. “And they died. Because they were stupid. If both of you don’t want the same fate, I suggest you quit annoying me.”
That shuts them up.
Bianca stares at me and softly says, “I was once in denial too, you know.”
“Lovestruck people give the worst advice,” I reply sarcastically to Bee before switching my betrayed glare to Iris. “What happened to hook or by crook?”
“You are hook-ing up, Ro. So, I’d say you took my advice pretty well.”
I throw up my hands and stand. “You’re both unbelievable.”
Turning around, I stomp down the aisle to the bedroom in the back. Throwing myself into the inviting bed, I lie face down into the pillow and close my eyes. And who do I see?
Nova.
My thoughts drifting to him, imagining what he must be doing now. He’s probably working hard on the operations of the new joint venture that increased his net worth by tenfold. At least someone’s benefitting from our marriage.
“Ro,” I hear Bianca’s soft tone and feel the bed dip with her weight.
I lift my head and lock gazes with her. Iris settling down on my other side with her back against the headboard. “Yes?”
“Are you not happy or are you just scared?”
I switch to lying on my back and stare at the ceiling. Both of them lie sideways, leaning on their elbows to study me. “I’m scared that I am happy. His actions should smother me but they don’t. He’s attuned to my needs in a way even I’m not. A hell of a twist I didn’t see coming.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” murmurs Iris.
A humorless laugh spills from my lips. “Because I know it will end in heartbreak. We’re meant to destroy each other, not fall in love with a happily ever after.”
“It’s a choice, Ro.” Bianca rests her hand on mine, squeezing lightly. “One you need to be brave enough to make. You’ve been brainwashed to believe crafted lies about Nova’s family your entire life that is blurring your judgment. You must look past that and learn for yourself whether or not they’re true.”
“That’s the thing, Bee,” I reply in frustration. “Even if I take a leap and trust him, he won’t do the same. It’s deeper than hate what Nova feels for my father. I see the violence and wrath in his eyes. Nova is riding the high of having his enemy’s daughter under his mercy. Once it wears off, he’ll go back to hating me. I’ll be nothing less than a trophy. The spoiled remains of the war.”
“Do you know the reason?”
I shake my head.
“Maybe you should ask him,” suggests Iris. “It will make you understand him.”
“And bring you both closer. Just show him he can trust you.”
“It’d be ironic since I don’t trust him either.” Shrugging, I whisper, “He’s been cruel to me for years, crossed lines while silently making my life hell. A week with him treating me nice, giving me orgasms, doesn’t make it all go away. I even caught him telling his dad that I’m a problem thrown into his lap.”
“Behind your back?”
I nod sadly. “Still think I should give him a chance?”
“I will still advise you to talk to him, even if the outcome isn’t desirable. Miscommunication and keeping secrets are the worst ways to kill your relationship.”
Bianca’s eyes convey she’s talking about her and Dash.
“Mine isn’t a relationship, it’s an arrangement I was forced into,” I brokenly murmur.
“Whatever decision you make, Ro,” says Iris, settling her hand on top of Bianca’s and mine. “We have your back.”
Basking in their protectiveness, love, and devotion as they promise to always have my back, I feel bold and unafraid. Before I lose the courage, I confess, “I have a secret to tell you guys.”
They still in anticipation and together ask, “What is it?”
“I’m a published romance author.”
Eyes widening, they go speechless and bolt upright. “You’ve written books?”
“Yes.”
“Oh my god!” they scream, making my ears bleed. Yet I’m smiling.
“So, you’re famous?”
“My third book was a hit and made it to USA Today bestseller list. Since then, my penname has been famous.”
Looking at each other, they hoot, “Oh my god! We know someone famous.”
One second, I’m laughing, and the next, there’s a pillow flying toward my face. With a screech, I twist to the side and it hits my back.
“Why didn’t you tell us before, you bitch?”
Another slam of the pillow, followed by Iris’s fuming voice. “Who the hell keeps it a secret? And from their best friends, no less.”
“I’m sorry!”
They hit me with the pillows twice more. Grabbing the one next to me, I wind my arm back, making them shriek in surprise. Climbing to my knees, I push my hair back and hold the pillow as a weapon.
Bianca squints her eyes. “Does Nova know?”
Oh fuck.
“He does!” exclaims Iris, butthurt.
“I didn’t tell him, I swear,” I quickly explain. “He caught me writing late at night and found out.”
They throw the pillow aside and settle down, until we’re sitting in a circle. Bianca crosses her arms over her chest and demands with a hint of hurt, “How long have you been an author and why are we learning it now? Tell. Us. Everything.”
“As you’re both aware, I read romance, but what you’ve never known is that I enjoy the darker type of romance with lots of triggers and themes that aren’t for the faint of hearts. I happen to write it too. It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you both, but I was scared. I was already nervous when I hit publish on my first book, which was when I was nineteen, and it did okay. Just putting it out into the world was a big accomplishment for me. While I was proud of myself, I was also shit scared about whether or not I’ll succeed. Or what everyone will think about me writing irredeemable villains and sex for a living. I wish I didn’t give a fuck about others’ opinions, but I do. Because this has been my dream since I fell in love with books. There were times I badly wanted to confess, especially when my career took off, but my insecurities wouldn’t let me. I guess a part of me,” my voice cracks as I whisper, “felt ashamed too. I don’t anymore, but for the longest time I did.”
“So, what if you write about sex? People make porn—hell, most movies, even Bollywood movies, these days have nudity and sex. And romance is incomplete without intimacy. Why are we taught to see it as bad or equate it with shame? I hate it so much. Fuck society and its beliefs, Ro.”
“We couldn’t be prouder of you, Rosa,” Iris says confidently and in awe. “Besides, you write fiction. Provide people with an escape just like any other artist. If people are idiots to fault and tear you down for writing something that is a fantasy and can’t know the difference between reality and fiction, then it’s on them.”
Tears sting my eyes as I listen to them. I constantly tell myself the same when I’m overwhelmed but hearing it from the two people I love the most is the boost I desperately needed.
There’s also no denying the push I needed to confess to them came from Nova.
He unknowingly gave me the courage I was searching for.
“Thank you,” I tell my girls. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“Doesn’t matter. You needed time and we understand.” Smiling mischievously, Bianca claps her hands. “I think we’ve gotten enough sappy, not something I had in mind for this trip. Now we have one more reason to celebrate. I just want to let loose now and have an unforgettable vacation.”
“I want memories that say… What happens in Vegas…”
Wearing matching devious grins, the three of us shout together, “Stays in Vegas.”