Guns & Roses

Tatiana

I was surprised to wake up to Dimitri’s room and not at the infirmary. I heard soft snores beside me and saw Dimitri sleeping without a shirt on, his arm draped protectively around me.

I also noticed the bandages that covered his left shoulder and I sent a silent prayer it wasn’t anywhere near fatal.

I lifted my arm and ran my hand through his dark locks. He stirred awake with a grunt and faced me with sleepy eyes.

“You’re awake” he said, his voice rough.

“I am” I said smiling at him.

“How are you fe-” he asked but I cut him off with my lips.

I kissed him gently and just when he was about to respond, I pulled away.

“What was that for?” He asked, his eyes turning a shade darker.

“Just because” I said.

He nodded his head and faced me more seriously.

“I meant what I said Tatiana, I’m sorry and I’ll do what it takes to earn your forgiveness” he said earnestly.

“I think taking a bullet for me is a good enough apology don’t you think?” I asked teasing him.

“I’ll take more if it meant accepting my apology and gaining your trust again”

“I rather not loose you, Dimi” I said.

“You know?”

“Yeah.. sort of. I dreamt about it” I said honestly.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” I said.

“I did, I called you Tati the moment I saw your birthmark but I guess you were already asleep. Which I think is a good thing. The truth is so much to handle” he said as he whispered the last words.

“I guess we both lost a great deal. I’m sorry if I was hard on you. I only thought of myself and I didn’t bother considering you have personal issues with it”

“Don’t worry about it” he said. “You deserve to know everything and that’s exactly what I’m going to do”

“If it’s painful to tell you don’t have to” I cajoled.

“I need to, if we want to move forward, it’s best to start on a clean slate” he argued.

I stayed silent and waited for him to talk.

With a sigh, he stared off the distance and started speaking.

“I know by now you know that our families are close. But I’m sure you don’t recall my older sister”

My eyes widened in surprise. Dimitri has a sister?

“Her name’s Liliya... after that fateful day, even though I only lost my mother, I also lost my father and my sister as well. My father turned cruel, blinded by the despair of losing my mom. My sister, Liliya, looked so much like our mom that it pained my father to see her. My father also blamed me for my mother’s death. He said if I didn’t go to your place, my mother would have stayed at our place.

I know it wasn’t the case. The attack would have still happened regardless of where we were. But both me and my sister grew up in a house filled with hate and despair. My sister trained and trained until she was old enough to go out. My father was unaware of my sister’s plan of avenging our mother.

I tried stopping her. I argued it wasn’t possible for one person to stop Arturo but she went anyway”

Dimitri stayed silent for a while until he breathed in and out, as if he was reliving the pain from the story again.

“Liliya was caught. And that was the last straw for my father. He shot himself and I was left to take over the family name. We didn’t know Liliya was alive, so imagine my surprise when we learned that by some cruel twisted fate that my sister actually fell in love with that monster" he spat.

“We argued with her that she was just being manipulated but she stood her ground saying the Arturo was just a misunderstood man. It pained me that my sister never received any love which was enough for her to have fallen for that bastard’s schemes” he said angrily.

I reached for Dimitri’s hand and interlocked it together. I felt the rigidness of his body slowly fade aways as he took calming breaths.

“What happened to her Dimitri?” I asked quietly.

“I was notified she took her own life when she finally discovered the true man Arturo really was. She couldn’t handle the fact that she turned her back on us for him. And that’s the last I heard from her” he finished.

“I’m sorry Dimitri” I said as I leaned on his shoulder.

“It’s in the past. It’s over now... it’s over” he said.

***

It’s been a couple of weeks since the whole attack happened. My wounds are closed to healing but Dimitri still wouldn’t let me out of his sight and it’s turning out to be quite annoying. Even so, both of us were starting to get along on a more deeper, emotional level.

Even though the both of us want the physical level more.

“Where are you going?” He asked as I stood up from my seat.

We were currently in the large living room, my grandfather on the other seat enjoying his coffee and his book while Dimitri typed away in his laptop. Yes, my grandfather was still with us making that ‘physical level’ close to non-existent.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, I faced the man until he finally looked up at me with his brow raised.

“I’m going to the bathroom to pee or do you want to come along there too?” I asked sarcastically.

“Alright, let me just save th-” he said as he started to get up.

“Dimitri!”

“What? You said” he argued.

“Ugh!” I stomped my foot and went out the room.

I heard my grandfather laugh and told Dimitri to give me some space.

I headed towards the familiar path to the infirmary.

As I walked I recalled the time I woke up at the infirmary and was greeted by Viktor’s blubbering mess.

We also explained to them the truth about who I really was and most of them were happy and accepting about it. Besides, Boris and Viktor already knew, but mine and Dimitri’s relationship was still under wraps, because I chose it that way.

My grandfather made himself home here until he knows I have fully recovered from my wounds. He also offered for me to go back home to Russia which I voiced out my uncertainty. He was pretty chill for an old man, he said knowing I was alive was enough for him, and that I could go home when I was ready.

And as much as I voiced my uncertainty, Dimitri surely voiced out his disagreement. Mafia men.

As I neared the familiar doors to the infirmary, I heard light footsteps nearing me.

Remaining calm, I slowed down my steps just as the intruder slung his arm around me to which I swiftly rotated and twisted his arm behind him and put my arm around his neck.

“OW OW”

“Viktor?” I asked. I immediately released him from my chokehold as he regained his breath.

“Christ. What the hell is wrong with you woman” he said as he caught his breath.

“Sorry?” I offered with a cheeky smile. “Come on Vik, you know you can’t sneak up on me like that”

“Gee, I don’t know why” he said as he rolled his eyes.

“What are you doing here anyway?” He asked as his words made me stiffen.

“Is it hurting again?” He asked.

“Yeah uhuh, just a bit, nothing to worry about” I rambled.

Viktor just raised his eyebrow at me and let it slide.

“Well do you want me to accompany you?” He asked.

“No!”

“I mean, no need. It’s just a check-up” I chuckled unsurely.

I’m a trained assassin for crying out loud! Lying should be my second nature but I’m so flustered.

“Okay...” he said. “Well, holler if you need anything” he said as he went away.

I breathed a sigh of relief and knocked on the door before pushing it open.

“Are you ready?” Dr. Moore asked.

“As I’ll ever be” I said as she handed me a box.

“You know what to do”

I nodded and reached our for the box as I went straight to the bathroom.

I sat down and waited. And my damn pee won’t come out.

Concentrate. Concentrate.

After a few minutes, I finally peed on the stick and waited for the results.

The type of pregnancy test Dr. Moore got me was that of the emoji. It would smile if it was positve and not if it was negative.

I waited a couple minutes just like the instructions have said. A knock sounded and Dr. Moore’s voice rang.

“Are you alright in there dear?” She asked.

“Yeah. Just waiting”

When the minutes have passed I turned the stick around and the face that was present did not mirror my own.

I’m pregnant.

The smiley face appeared and mine was a mixture of surprise, dread, fear and joy? I didn’t know whether or not to be happy. I didn’t particularly disliked the news... it’s just too much to handle.

I opened the door and sat down on the chair in front of Dr. Moore’s table.

“What does it say?” She asked.

“I’m pregnant” I said quietly.

I looked up to see Dr. Moore’s expression was of surprise but she wasn’t exactly looking at me. She was gazing beyond me.

I turned my head to my surprise as Dimitri was stunned in position, mirroring my own expression as he looked lost for words.

I stood up and ran past him to who knows where. I ran as fast as I could until I found myself in the balcony I first ran off to.

I grasped the ledges and let the tears fall. I’m at lost. I don’t know what to do.

Two hands fell on my shoulder and I knew right away it was Dimitri’s. He gently turned me around and placed his arms around me.

After a while, I finally put some distance on the both of us but Dimitri wouldn’t let me. Not having the energy to fight him, I just let myself be.

“You said you were going to the bathroom” he said breaking the ice.

“Technically I did” I retorted.

“Are you pregnant?” He blurted out.

“I am... and I don’t know what to do” I said quietly.

“What do you mean? Do you not want to keep it?” He asked, fear laced in his tone.

“What?! Of course not! I’m keeping our baby no matter what happens!” I said as I looked him in the eye.

“Our baby?” He asked, with a goofy grin plastered in his face.

He leaned down for a kiss, his soft lips gently caressing mine. I pulled away and glared playfully.

“Cut it out Dimitri. You know what I meant. It’s too early and besides, we aren’t really parent material”

I said.

“I agree it is a bit early to start a family...” he started as I blushed at his words. Just imagining building a family with Dimitri was an enticing thought.

“Also..we haven’t exactly established our relationship yet” I said with a sigh.

“We aren’t really the conventional type of people so I guess the norms don’t apply to us” he said.

“You do have a point there Dimi” I said as I hugged him tighter. He groaned at the nickname I grew used to whenever we were both alone. I knew he secretly liked it.

He placed his chin on my head as we watched the sun go down.

“Mishka, will you be me girlfriend?” He suddenly asked.

“What?”

“I just asked if-”

“I know what you asked. It’s just.. I thought you don’t do relationships?” I asked.

“I said I’m not used to relationships but I’m trying to change for you. And besides, isn’t it obvious enough that I’m deeply madly inlove with you?” he said.

“I love you, Tati” he said staring right in my eyes.

I didn’t get the chance to say it last time, and I surely won’t miss the opportunity now.

“I love you too, Dimi” I whispered as I brought his face down and poured my love in that kiss.

We’ll figure it out. We always do.