Green Eyes

“What do you mean you saw a ghost?” Selene demanded as she dragged Jared into their room.

After the woman had driven off, Selene had had to pay for the food, carry it herself, and lead a shell-shocked Jared back to the inn before he drew too much attention to them. She had watched him battle a dozen Blood Guards, charge into a castle dungeon to rescue her, stared down a sorcerer, and a dozen other insane feats without even breaking a sweat. He was a rock and Selene relied on that strength to keep her sane since her entire world had been violently turned upside down.

So to see him this shaken was terrifying her. Selene didn’t know much of anything outside of Lakeside and was relying on Jared’s knowledge and expertise to keep them alive. It was like her foundation was falling apart underneath and if she didn’t get him to snap out of it, they were both going to be in huge trouble.

Jared still hadn’t answered her question though whether he didn’t hear her or was just ignoring her she couldn’t tell. Taking his hand, she led him over to the bed and forced him to sit down. Grabbing his face, she looked him in the eyes and couldn’t believe what she saw. His dark blue eyes, usually so calm and confident, were suddenly filled with a deep, gut-wrenching pain, something she’d never seen before.

“Hey!” she said gently but firmly, trying to get his attention. “What happened? Who was she?”

Slowly Jared blinked his eyes and focused in on Selene. “No one,” he said at last, his voice gradually returning to its normal emotionless confidence. “She’s no one.”

“You’ve been a statue for the last twenty minutes,” Selene frowned. “I hardly think she’s a nobody.”

“Like I said, she’s a ghost,” his voice was firm and strong again and his eyes were back to normal. “Just reminded me of someone I knew long ago. But it’s impossible for it to be her.”

Selene sat down on the bed beside him. “Who was she?” she queried. “The person this woman reminded you of?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jared shrugged off. “It was a long time ago and the dead can’t be brought back. I’m sorry I freaked out there and made you have to deal with all of this.”

“It does matter,” Selene countered. “Whoever this woman was, she must have meant a great deal to you; I’ve never seen you this shaken before. Maybe it would be good for you to talk about it.”

“Selene that was 20 years ago,” Jared sighed, slipping his boots off. “What good would talking about it do now? That woman in the market just reminded me of someone I lost a long time ago. I’ve come to terms with it and I would just prefer to let it go.”

Selene was not about to let it go. “Clearly you haven’t,” she said. “I may not have known you that long, but I know you well enough to know that you’re hurting. Please let me help you; tell me who she was.”

Jared remained silent but didn’t move either. Selene took that as permission for her to continue prying.

“Was she your lover or wife?” Selene questioned, though she had a very difficult time picturing Jared with anyone. But he had said that was a long time ago so maybe he was different back then.

“No,” Jared shook his head, a faint smile creasing his lips. Whatever else she had done, Selene had at least managed to make him smile, something she considered a remarkable feat. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?” he asked.

“Nope,” Selene replied with a firm shake of her blond head.

“Very well,” Jared relented with a sigh. “Do you remember that I told you I was one of two people to successfully master Form VII in the last thousand years?”

“Vaguely,” she thought back to her first combat lesson a little over a week prior. Amidst the cold, the beatings, and being scared for her life most of the time, that comment hadn’t seemed important.

“That other person is who the woman reminded me of,” Jared continued, “my twin sister. But it’s impossible for that to be her.”

“Why?” Selene questioned.

“Because she died 20 years ago,” Jared answered bitterly.

Selene glanced over at him and saw that the pain was back in his eyes but this time it was accompanied by something else: anger. Not a roaring rage but more of a seething resentment that had been tightly reined in, but festering for years.

“What happened?” Selene pressed.

Jared pulled his feet up on to the bed and stared intently at the wall. For several long moments he said nothing and Selene wondered if he had shut down again. “What do you know of how Manasseh became king?” he finally spoke.

“Not a whole lot,” Selene furrowed her eyebrows, unsure of the relevance. “I know that he came to power after the Royal Family was killed but that’s about it.”

“Convenient bending of history,” snorted Jared.

“That’s not what happened?”

“It is and it isn’t,” Jared replied. “Manasseh did become king after King Josiah and his family were murdered but that’s only part of the story.”

“What’s the rest?” Selene was curious.

“That he was the one who murdered his brother’s family to take the crown,” Jared answered bitterly.

“He murdered his own brother?” Selene’s eyes bulged out.

“Technically he didn’t actually kill them,” Jared amended. “But he was behind the plot to take the throne so he might as well have.”

Selene was still trying to process that a Kalashonian killed his own family. Given how much value her people put on family, she didn’t think that was possible.

“I guess that explains why a lot of people aren’t fond of Manasseh,” Selene said. “But what does this have to do with your sister?”

“Because she and I were in the Wolf Pack when Manasseh launched his coup,” Jared responded. “And she died because of it.”

“The Wolf Pack?” Selene raised an eyebrow.

“The precursor to the Blood Guard,” Jared clarified. “Horrible name, I know, but I didn’t come up with it. Beth Yarack likes to theme things after wolves. Anyway, they were the elite legion of the Kalashonian army and personally responsible for guarding the king and his family.”

“And you and your sister were part of this?” Selene questioned.

“You could say that my sister and I were war prodigies,” Jared told her. “We could use a sword by the time we could walk. Thanks to our father, we were in the army by fourteen. We won our first battle at fifteen. By seventeen we had achieved the rank of War Master, something completely unheard of before. So naturally we were placed in the Wolf Pack. When we were twenty, we were commanding it.”

If she hadn’t seen him fight, Selene might have laughed him off as making all that up. But she knew how good he really was; she had the bruises to prove it.

“Apart we were invincible,” Jared continued, still studying the far wall. “But together we were unstoppable. And we were near inseparable. I guess being twins, you kind of don’t have a choice. She was my closest friend and ally. Whether it was sparring or investigating a murder in the court or pulling pranks on some of the other commanders, we were the ultimate dynamic duo.” Jared smiled faintly as if part of him was back in those days.

“It sounds like you guys had it really good,” Selene commented.

“We did,” he nodded. “We even lived in the palace at Jermelek, as was befitting the Wolf Pack commanders. It was all we could ever wish for.”

“You lived in the palace?” Selene interjected. “So did my parents. Did you know them?”

“Max and Milcah?” Jared looked at her. “Of course we knew them. They were good friends; in fact your mother used to babysit us when we were little.”

“Really?” Selene exclaimed.

“Really. Your father was one of the kindest people I’ve ever met and your mother…” he looked sad again. “Well, she was a very special lady. And they were great together. I especially remember when you were born. You could never see two prouder, happier people.”

That was a weird thought for Selene. Physically Jared looked no older than her, but he was talking about her parents like they were old friends. He was even talking about her being born, which was really weird.

“So what happened?” she pushed the story along.

“Manasseh,” Jared’s eyes darkened. “He had been planning his coup for years I would find out later. It seems he had always been jealous of his brother’s throne, believing he could do a better job. Maybe he might have, had it been his destiny. But it wasn’t so we’ll never really know.

“Anyway, my sister discovered that Manasseh had an assassin inside the palace. He couldn’t kill the king himself because Kalashonian law strictly prohibits a king-killer from ruling. It’s one of the things that has prevented siblings from starting civil wars. But if he could kill the entire Royal Family, as the eldest living brother, the crown would be his.”

“And the rest of the nobility went along with this?” Selene asked.

“They didn’t have a choice,” Jared replied. “Kalashonian succession laws are very particular and very strict. The idea was that if you had specific and exacting succession laws, you wouldn’t have civil wars after each king or queen died. If the laws are not followed exactly, then the king will not be obeyed. For the most part, it’s worked. But Manasseh found a way around it. Besides, the nobility and the people didn’t like King Josiah much anyway, so no one raised a fuss.”

“Why not?”

“Because he was weak,” Jared answered. “He couldn’t control the nobility which led to massive corruption. The kingdom was on the brink of civil war and economic disaster under him. But he was still our king and we were sworn to protect him.”

“When your sister found out about the agent, what did you do?” Selene asked.

“Nothing,” Jared grimaced. “I did nothing.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t believe her,” he sadly explained. “I didn’t think what she was suggesting was possible. No one else did either. In retrospect, I wonder how I missed it, but hindsight is always 20/20 they say.

“It was the first time in our lives I didn’t trust her and it cost her her life in the end. If I had listened, if I had acted, if I had done something, I know she’d be alive, a lot of people would be alive, but I didn’t. And so I am haunted by my failure and her memory.”

“I’m sorry,” Selene place a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Did she die in the coup?”

“No,” Jared bitterly replied. “When I refused to listen, she committed suicide. Maybe because she knew without us working together, it was hopeless and she’d rather take her own life than face Brutus or Manasseh. Maybe she was right, I don’t know. But a week after she died, Manasseh struck just as she had said.”

“What happened?” Selene questioned.

“Manasseh’s agent assassinated the king and queen as his men under the traitor Jericho stormed the palace,” he recalled. “We fought them back, but when we realized the king and queen were dead, along with the rest of the Royal Family, we gave up. No point defending a dead king. That’s when I found out my parents had been killed and I realized that Manasseh would kill me too. I guess it makes sense; I was never going to serve him and you can’t have a disloyal War Master running around. So I escaped a back way and left Kalashon.”

“That’s awful,” Selene shuddered. She knew what it was like to lose family, but even her experience paled in comparison to what Jared had gone through.

“It was a long time ago,” Jared tried to shrug off, but Selene knew it was a front. “I thought I was over it, but being back here, in this place with these people, seeing her,” his voice cracked and Selene saw a tear begin to trickle down his face. “It reminds me of all the things I’ve been trying to forget.”

“Would she want you to forget her?” Selene questioned.

“It just hurts so much,” he sniffed, struggling to regain control and losing. “I just miss her so much. I miss her smile, her sarcastic sense of humor, the way she knew exactly what was wrong with me even if I didn’t.” The tears were flowing freely now. “And knowing it’s my fault she’s dead…” That was it and Jared completely broke down, weeping.

Selene didn’t know what to do. She’d seen people cry of course, but with Jared it was different. His was a heart-rending combination of grief and guilt and anger wrapped in a person of stoic calm. Seeing him broken like this was almost more than she could handle. So she did the only thing she could think of.

She wrapped her arms around him and just held him as he cried.

*******

By morning, Jared was back to his reserved self. He had gotten up long before her, letting her sleep, to bathe and wash their clothes. When Selene got up, it was already almost midday and their clothes were drying in front of the fire.

“Glad to see you’re not dead,” Jared dryly commented as she stretched.

“What time is it?” Selene sleepily queried.

“Almost lunch,” responded the mercenary.

“Hmm,” Selene yawned and slid her feet on to the cold wooden floor and stood.

She had taken the bed at Jared’s insistence. Part of her wouldn’t have minded sharing as she trusted the mercenary completely, but Jared adamantly refused. More out of wanting to avoid any potential awkwardness than chivalry she guessed.

“If you want a bath, there’s warm, clean water in the tub,” he informed her.

“That was rather kind of you,” she blinked in surprise.

“Not really,” Jared shrugged. “I knew you wouldn’t pass up a chance for a good bath and we haven’t got all day for you to take one. So be quick.”

Rolling her eyes Selene padded into the bathroom and slipped into the gloriously warm water. It felt so good to get really clean again. The snow bathes were refreshing in their own way, but she never felt really clean. Now for the first time in what seemed like years, she felt truly rested and clean.

“I repeat, we haven’t got all day,” Jared rapped on the door, signaling that it was time her bath ended.

Sighing, Selene pulled herself from the now tepid water and dried off. The door opened a crack and a bundle of clothes were tossed in. She dressed and walked out to where an impatient Jared was waiting.

“Happy princess?” he sneered.

“Yes, thank you,” she ignored his mocking. “What is the plan for today?”

“You’re going to do some clothes shopping,” Jared answered. “Look for female combat wear. It’ll be similar to mine, except the slits will be only up the sides giving it two panels instead of four. Take this,” Jared pulled out a couple dozen gold coins and deposited them in her hands. “When you’re finished, meet me at the blacksmith’s shop.”

“What are you going to be doing?” Selene questioned.

“Arranging our passage on a boat to Endor for tomorrow morning if I can; the afternoon at the latest,” he replied.

Selene sighed. “So soon?” she asked. She had been hoping to spend a few more days here resting, instead of traveling again.

“The longer we stay in one place, the more likely we’ll be discovered,” Jared logically pointed out. She hated that. “Besides, it won’t be as hard as the last couple of weeks.”

“That’s a relief,” Selene sardonically sighed.

“Oh she’s learning sarcasm now?” Jared cocked a challenging eyebrow which Selene took as her cue to shut up. “I will see you at the blacksmith’s,” he said flatly and disappeared out the door.

Shopping was fun, for the most part. The store owners were polite if a bit curt but Selene could hardly blame them. They looked as if they hadn’t had a decent meal in months and were suffering the grumpy side effects of low blood sugar. But one young woman had been very helpful in getting Selene the dress or robe or whatever it specifically was she needed.

In the end she settled on two suits. One was dark brown and the other a lighter green that brought out her eyes. She wasn’t sure if Jared would approve of that, but he left it to her so it was her choice. The fabric she found strange as it was simultaneously tough and flexible, thick and light. Wearing them, she felt more freedom of movement than ever before.

Realizing that she was probably running late and that would make Jared less than pleased, she purchased the clothes, slipped on her rust colored cloak, and hurried to the blacksmith’s shop.

Jared and Micah were waiting for her, examining the weapon. If he was annoyed, Jared didn’t show it. Micah, on the other hand, looked exceedingly pleased.

“Try it out,” he handed her the weapon.

Selene grasped the weapon which while lighter than Jared’s sword still felt a bit heavy. The blade was about 30 inches long with a double fuller running down the center. Stepping back several paces from the others, she swung it around like she had seen Jared do. Selene had no idea what she was doing or what she was looking for, but the sword felt good in her hands. It wasn’t awkward or clumsy, just a bit on the heavy side. She’d just have to get stronger then.

“It’s a bit heavy,” Selene finally said when she found the two men looking at her expectantly.

“No,” Jared corrected flatly. “You’re just weak.”

Strangely she knew it wasn’t an insult, just a simple statement of fact. Of course that made it all the more annoying.

“I guess I’m just not used to using a sword,” she suggested.

“You will be,” Jared took the blade from her and twirled it gracefully in his palm before handing it back. “The balance is excellent Micah; you’ve really perfected your craft over the years.”

“I’ve had lots of practice,” the blacksmith snorted. “My offer still stands,” he added.

“No thanks,” Jared shook his head. “We must be leaving in the morning and my blade is fine.”

“Alright,” Micah sighed. “You’ve paid for it then so it’s yours.”

“Thank you,” Jared shook Micah’s hand.

“Thank you,” Selene added her appreciation.

“Take care of that, my lady,” the blacksmith admonished, his dark eyes sparkling with pride, as he handed her the scabbard. “It’s not every day I get to make something for a Navi.”

“I will,” Selene promised, sheathing the weapon and clutching it close to her breast.

“May the Creator bless you,” Jared bowed slightly as he and Selene left the shop.

“I think he already has,” commented Micah as they departed.

“When do I start learning the sword?” Selene queried as she strapped the weapon to her left hip.

“Tomorrow on the boat,” Jared answered.

“You booked us passage then?”

Jared nodded. “We leave just after dawn tomorrow on an Esthorian textiles merchant ship headed for Endor,” he informed.

“And they won’t bother us?” Selene questioned, silently cursing Jared for making her so paranoid.

“They’re Esthorians, so no,” he replied with his usual and not-so-subtle condescension. “Besides, money has a pleasant way of silencing people.”

“Oh,” Selene pursed her lips. “Thanks for the sword, by the way.”

“It wasn’t out of charity,” Jared indifferently responded. “You need to learn how to use it so you won’t get us both killed.”

“Still, I appreciate,” Selene restated. “What are we doing now?”

“Because of the ‘incident’ yesterday, we didn’t finish our shopping,” Jared said. “So we’re heading back to the market.”

Selene thought they had gotten plenty of food yesterday so she found that odd. But Jared was used to traveling and therefore she trusted his judgment. Even still, Selene noted that they seemed to be hovering around the vendor that woman had been at the previous day. Add to that that Jared seemed unusually distracted and she was starting to have her doubts as to why they were really.

“Do you think this bread is good?” Selene questioned, holding up a loaf that was covered in mold. How the proprietor had the gall to sell it was beyond her.

“Sure, fine,” Jared replied without even glancing at it.

“Jared, it’s covered in mold,” she raised an eyebrow.

“Hmm,” Jared snapped his attention back to her and appraised the bread with growing disgust. “Then why on earth do you want to buy it?”

“To see if you’re paying attention,” Selene informed. “Clearly you’re not.”

“I know you’re young, but surely you’re past these childish games by now,” Jared glared at her from underneath his hood.

“Come on Jared,” Selene placed a hand on her hip. “Why are we really here?”

“To get supplies,” Jared responded laconically. He was really good at lying, she noted.

“Then why aren’t you paying attention?”

Jared was about to answer when another voice caught his attention. It was the vendor from the previous day and he seemed to be talking to his wife.

“She was back again,” he sighed. “Same time every week, like a perfect clock. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.”

“She’s good business,” countered his wife. “Besides, we can’t afford to upset the Lord Jasper.”

“I know,” the husband acknowledged. “But the way she seems to stare into your soul with those blue eyes is just creepy. And do you realize she’s barely aged a day in the fifteen years we’ve been here? I tell you something’s not right about that girl/woman/whatever.”

Selene barely had time to register what he said when Jared exploded into action. In two long, swift strides he materialized in front of the surprised seller and grabbed him by his collar, lifting him a full foot off the ground.

“What color were this woman’s eyes?” he demanded in a low, snarling voice as cold as the arctic blasts Selene had been subjected to the last week.

“Uh, blue,” stammered the terrified shopkeeper as the mercenary tightened his grip on the man’s collar.

“You’re coming with me,” Jared growled and he began dragging the man away.

Selene felt panic washing over her. She knew that voice all too well; when Jared’s voice dropped like that, it usually meant someone was about to die. In the crowded market place, his borderline irrational behavior could very likely get them killed.

“What are you doing?” she hissed as she chased after him.

“Getting some answers,” the mercenary curtly replied as he threw his captive into a darkened alley.

“Wh-what do you want?” stuttered the shopkeeper. “If it’s money, I don’t have very much.”

Maybe it was her Navi powers sensing the man’s emotions, but Selene could feel the terror washing off of him like icy waves. She could definitely sympathize with him; she knew exactly how intimidating Jared could be, especially when his hood was covering his face like he was the angel of death.

“I’m not interested in money,” Jared loomed over the man. “Tell me everything you know about that woman you were talking about, the one with blue eyes.”

“That’s all?” the man seemed surprised. Jared’s hand immediately fell to the hilt of his sword. “Alright, alright,” surrendered the man. “Her name is Mara and she’s the personal servant to Lord Jasper. No one knows exactly what she does for him, though you can probably guess. Anyway she’s been here longer than my family has and we moved here fifteen years ago. She’s got dark blue eyes and seems impervious to age. She should be as old as I am but looks no older than your friend. She comes in once a week to buy food for the castle exactly at the same time. That’s all anyone ever sees of her.”

Jared searched the man’s face intently for a moment before deciding that he was being honest. “Thank you,” he said, voice back to its normal, emotionless state. “You may go.”

The man scrambled to his feet and bolted out into the street.

“Come on,” Jared grabbed Selene’s hand. “Soldiers will be looking for us in a moment.”

“What about the food?” Selene protested as he dragged her through the alleyway and into the street on the far side.

“Leave it,” he replied. “We’ll get more later.”

For the next twenty minutes, they zigzagged through the maze of houses, taverns, and shops that made up the sorry town of Beth Isaac, getting themselves thoroughly lost in the crowd. Finally Jared came to a stop and leaned against a building to catch their breath.

“What is going on?” Selene asked panting. “Are you thinking that the woman we saw yesterday is…”

“I don’t know,” Jared interrupted sharply. His head was tilted back and he was staring off into the cloudy sky, something he often did when thinking hard. “I just don’t know. There is no one else in the world that fits that description though. My—” he stopped himself short as if he was going to say something but thought better of it. “She’s the only blue-eyed Kalashonian that old,” Jared continued. “She ages slowly and has blue eyes. And the woman I saw yesterday, I’d recognize her anywhere.”

“But?” Selene prompted.

“But her name wasn’t Mara,” he said. “Then again, names tend to change over the years. On the other hand, how could one of the most powerful warriors become someone’s slave? Especially someone like Jasper. And then there’s the fact that I know she’s dead.”

“Brutus thought you were dead and you’re not,” Selene pointed out.

“That’s different,” Jared countered. “They thought I was dead because I disappeared. But I saw her body, Selene. I held her dead body. I even buried her myself. I know she’s dead.”

“But the facts seem to indicate otherwise,” Selene observed.

“When did you get so smart?” Jared glowered.

“I’ve been hanging around you,” Selene shrugged. “I’ve picked up on your reasoning methods. If there is one thing you’ve taught me, and there isn’t just one, it’s that you ignore what should be true and focus only on what the facts tell you.”

“That’s the problem,” Jared sighed. “The facts seem to be saying two different things.”

“So what are you going to do?” she asked.

Maybe she was empathic because Selene could feel the conflict raging inside him. On the one hand, he knew what the rationale choice was and on the other was hoping for what he so desperately wanted to be true. In a strange way, seeing him indecisive for once was actually comforting. He seemed less invincible and more human, more relatable. At the same time Selene hoped that this was a rare occurrence; his indecision also made her very uneasy because it left her lost too.

Finally Jared straightened up. “I’m sorry Selene,” he looked at her, genuinely meaning it. “But I have to know. I have to find out if it’s really her.”

“I know,” Selene had hoped he would reach that decision.

“You know what that means, right?” Jared questioned.

“It means you’re going into the dragon’s den; into Jasper’s Castle,” Selene answered. “I’m coming with you.”

She fully expected him to refuse her help. But to Selene’s surprise, he simply nodded and said, “Thank you.”