Good Elf Gone Wrong: A Holiday Romantic Comedy

Through the window, I saw pizza boxes stacked high.

Dakota grimaced.

In his baby carrier, Pugnog panted. I’d swaddled him in sweaters and hats and might have overdone it.

“Maybe you want to lay low for a bit,” my cousin said as the angry faces of my family appeared in the window.

“Right.”

“I’ll smooth things out. Granny Murray will too. You’ll see.”

I clutched Pugnog to my chest. Not too hard because of his eye.

“I’ll let you know if it’s cool for you to come to Christmas brunch tomorrow. Don’t worry. When they all realize no one knows how to make your extra-special French toast, they’ll be begging to have you back, firings or no firings. Why don’t you go back to that cute little boutique hotel and watch Christmas movies?”

“Christmas alone? Sounds like a depressing way to spend Christmas Eve.”

Though now that I thought about it, somehow I always felt alone on Christmas even though I had a huge family. Until Hudson. Hudson never made me feel lonely.

“I’m proud of you, Gracie. This has been a Christmas season of growth for you.”

“Yeah,” I said, feeling suddenly exhausted.

Dakota hugged me.

“Don’t get too down. It’s lonely at the top. You’ll get used to it. That big, fat CEO paycheck will help sop up your tears.”

I watched as my cousin went into the warm, well-lit house, to be hugged by parents, uncles, aunts, and cousins, while I watched outside in the cold.

Alone.

The Canal Club was practically glowing when the Uber dropped off me and Pugnog. I didn’t want to go back to that hotel and sit there all alone. I felt stupid as I remembered how delusional I was, daydreaming that Hudson was going to come back to me and shower me with flowers and kisses.

Grayson said he was in love with me.

“You’re a CEO now,” I told myself sternly. “You have people who rely on you. You aren’t just the girl in the kitchen making cookies. You don’t need Hudson. You don’t need anyone. Dakota is right. The top is cold and lonely.”

Though my dream had always been to have a bunch of kids, a nice house, and a husband who came home at exactly 6 p.m. for dinner, plotting a new direction for EnerCheck was exciting. Grayson didn’t want me to just dump the data and leave. He was actually interested in integrating our product into Richmond Electric’s operation. The actual software service itself was still sound. Now that I’d be able to spend the money to make needed changes to it without having to do a whole song and dance to try to convince James and my father that it was necessary, I was raring to go.

I felt important and respected. I was even going to have my own corner office with a killer view.

All alone.

We are not feeling sorry for ourselves. There are tons of people worse off this holiday than you.

First, I was going to take back my decorations. I was renting a new apartment in Manhattan, and I was having Christmas in January, goddamn it, because I deserved it. Those Christmas trees would just have to hang on.

Inside, instead of the boxes of packed-up decorations, the staff was bustling about preparing for a three-hundred-person wedding.

“Oh no!” I cried.

The manager hurried over to me. “I’m so sorry. We’re running a bit behind. How is the bride?”

“No, not that. No one in my family told you the wedding was canceled?”

“Canceled?”

“There was a last-minute end of the relationship,” I explained with a wince. “And, of course, no one called you. I am so sorry.”

The manager shrugged. “Everything was prepaid.”

I felt terrible.

“There’s no reason for you all to be here. It’s Christmas Eve,” I told the staff. “Please go home.”

“But the food.”

“Take as much as you want,” I begged them. “Please spend Christmas with your families. I’m so sorry you all had to be out here for no reason.”

I grabbed the box of goody bags I’d made specifically for all the staff to thank them for spending their holiday with us, and passed them out as the workers packed up leftover banquet food and desserts.

“Take some cake.”

“Seems like bad luck to cut the bride’s cake,” the catering staff said.

“There is nothing you can do to curse that failed relationship,” I promised. “I’ll clean the rest of this up. Please go home. Merry Christmas. Have a wonderful holiday.”

“Doors will lock behind when you leave,” the manager told me with a wave.

I sighed and set Pugnog down.

Outside, I’d planned for a small ice-skating pond ringed by decorated Christmas trees for wedding guests to enjoy. At the edge of the frozen pond, candles burned, the glow reflected on the ice. It was a fairy wonderland.

I laced up my skates and stepped out onto the ice, gliding around in small circles, enjoying the feel of the wind and the smell of candles and juniper.

So what if I wasn’t going to get everything I wanted this Christmas?

And let’s be honest, this Christmas was kind of a net negative. My family hated me. I had no boyfriend, fake or otherwise, and I didn’t even have a place to spend Christmas morning. However, some good things had happened. I’d stood up to my parents, finally taken control of my life, and accepted a new job.

I wished suddenly that Hudson had been there. I bet he would have been proud.

Or maybe he wouldn’t have cared.

He probably wouldn’t have cared.

He never really cared, had he? It was all in my head.

Pugnog was making his happy bark. I looked over toward the terrace that led to the ballroom to see him prancing around a tall man in all black. The figure was slowly making his way through the snow. I stopped to watch him slip off his skate guards at the edge of the pond.

Cautiously, he glided over to me, looking like everything I’d always dreamed of for Christmas.

And here we go with the delusions.

Hudson stopped in front of me, spraying ice chips from the blades of his skates. He dipped his head, watching me warily.

“What do you want?” I said finally.

He worked his jaw.

“I got you a Christmas present. It’s at my apartment.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” I told him.

“You got me something.”

“I give people gifts because I like to give gifts. I don’t expect anything in return.”

He sagged. “I’ll drop it at your parents’ house then.”

I barked out a laugh. “Better not do that. I’m blacklisted over there.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. Turns out when you blow up the gravy train, people get upset.”

“I’m sorry, Gracie.” His expression was pained. “I know that doesn’t cut it, but I am. I’m sorry for using you, and for the way I treated you, and for lying to you, and for stealing your stuff, and hacking your computer, and destroying your dad’s company.”

“You ruined Christmas.” I crossed my arms. “But hey, the money’s worth it, right? At least that’s what I’m telling myself to make spending Christmas Eve alone not suck so much.”

I looked down at my white skates.

His black ones moved closer.

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “I guess.”

We stood there in the flickering light from the candles. The blades of Hudson’s skates scraped softly on the ice as he rocked on his feet.

“I should go,” I said finally.

“Gracie, please.” He reached for me.

“I can’t just leave the venue like this. I don’t want the staff to get in trouble.”

“They won’t.” His mouth quirked. “I can put in a good word with the owner.”

“You know the owner? Wait … For fuck’s—of course you own this venue.” I threw up my hands. “You’re everywhere in my life.”

“Gracie.” He skated to face me again.

“What, Hudson?” My body suddenly ached, and all I wanted to do was lie down.

“I love you.” It was awkward, sudden, abrasive.

“I don’t believe you.”

He closed his eyes like I’d stabbed him.

Then he opened them, his gray eyes the color of the ice beneath our feet.

“I know I lied to you.”

“You didn’t just lie. You made me believe that …” My voice caught.

Do not cry, do not cry.

“It’s not even about the company. I managed to patch that claptrap back up. Story of my life.”

“I did not mean to do that with Kelly,” he said quickly. “All I want is you.” He rested his hands on my arms.

I looked up at the snowy night sky. “I don’t care that you acted like a jerk. That’s what you were supposed to do, and it would be hypocritical of me to be angry at you for it.”

“I didn’t mean what I said …”

I shrugged sadly. “I said things I didn’t mean. I’m sorry about the fire and foster care. That must have been horrible. I hate the thought of you trapped and alone and worried about your siblings on Christmas. It breaks my heart.”

“Who knows. Maybe I deserved it,” he said, dropping his hands. “Like the universe knew I was going to be a terrible person and was punishing me preemptively.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think that you’re a bad person. Just maybe not the man for me.”

“Please give me another chance. I won’t hurt you again.”

“I’m not even angry about the lying,” I continued, wrapping my arms around myself. “I’m mad that you were nice to my dog and made a thousand Christmas cookies with me, and acted so perfect with my little cousins, and helped me decorate, and made me think that you were someone I could be together with forever, that I could build a life and a future with. I’m angry that you made me fall in love with you, and that I still am in love with you.”

“That wasn’t a lie. I am that man.”

“Are you?”

“I want to be a good father and a good husband, better than my father was. I want to bake cookies with you and help you fill Christmas stockings and spend hours trudging around the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. You melted all the ice on my heart, Gracie, and it’s been there so long I don’t know how I’m going to survive without it. But I think if I had you there, then I’d be okay.”

He grabbed my hands.

“I’m not a billionaire. I can’t offer you private planes, fancy trips, or a glamourous life, but I can offer you stability, partnership, someone who will always be there for you. I can offer you love, warmth, and undying support.”

“I want that with you too. It just sounds too good to be true,” I said sadly. “People can’t change, especially not bad boys.”

“I used to believe the same thing,” he said. “But people can change, if they really want to, if they put in the work. I’ve changed, and so have you.”

He skated back.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to give me another shot. I know I don’t deserve another shot with you. Even if you say no, this right here with the snow falling and your hair framing your face and the smell of Christmas trees is perfect. You’re perfect. Even if I never see you again, I’ll always remember this, and it will be enough to keep me going on cold dark winter nights. And I think I’ll always remember you like this.”

In the black jeans, easily maneuvering on the skates like he was born in them, the leather jacket, his black hair falling over his forehead, the wary but hopeful look in his eyes, backdropped by Christmas trees and candles and snow, he didn’t look like a bad boy. He looked like the man I’d want to spend the rest of my life with.

“It’s funny.” Those silvery gray eyes flicked down then back up to mine. “I never thought I’d ever like Christmas. But for the first time, being with you made me want Christmas every day—to have a family with you, a home with you, one of the big Victorians that you love. I’d build you a custom dining table and a bed, wake up before you and surprise you with breakfast, decorate a tree with you, hang stockings and pretend to play Santa with our kids. I want that now. I thought I never would, but now all I want is that with you. I want to marry you. I should just ask you to be my real girlfriend, but I don’t want that. I want you to be my wife. And wasn’t the plan to get engaged at your sister’s wedding anyway?”

He gave me a crooked smile.

“You what?” I gasped.

Hudson dropped down on one knee and pulled a black box out of his jacket pocket.

“You’re proposing to me?”

“Yeah. For real. If anyone had shown up, I’d have married you tonight, but I’ll settle for a yes.”

I started crying. “I can’t. I can’t marry you. Please stand up.”

“Gracie, I’m begging you,” he said, rising and cupping my face.

“I don’t even know you. This is insane. You can’t be asking me this,” I said.

“Of course you know me,” he insisted, taking me in his arms and kissing me wildly.

“My name is Hudson Wynter. I was in the Marines for six years, and then I started a security company and invested the profits back into my community, that, let’s admit, I have a love-hate relationship with. I like to play hockey, and my siblings annoy me, but I still adore them. I hate wearing suits, but I’ll wear one on our wedding day. Your brisket is the best thing I’ve ever eaten, and I actually don’t mind baking cookies. I prefer German shepherds, but your pug is cool. I hate Christmas, but not when I’m with you. I can’t resist a damsel in distress, but more than that, I love a woman who will go after what she wants no matter the wake of destruction and broken hearts in her path. I’m the man that loves you more than anyone else in the world. You know all of this. You know me.”

“Hudson, I can’t. Please go home.”

“I love you, Gracie. I want to make you happy.” He kissed the tears on my cheeks. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Hudson …”

He knelt back down on the ice and said softly, opening up the box, “Please marry me.”

“Oh my gosh,” I sobbed. “It’s the ring, the one that was sold. It looks just like that one. Did you have it made?”

He shook his head.

“This is that ring, her actual ring.” He fished in his jacket with one hand then shoved papers at me.

“How did you find it?”

“Grayson has a very good assistant. Turns out being a hired gun does have some job perks. What do you say, Gracie? You want to make this the perfect Christmas ever?”

“How can you want to marry me?” I cried. “You only just met me.”

He smiled up at me. “I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. I know you like the apron with the gnomes on it because the strings are long enough to tie it in the front, but you’ll settle for the one with those demonic Christmas bunnies.”

“They have antlers on. I embroidered that myself.”

“I know you love your family and would do anything for them. I know you adore Christmas, and if the holidays would start in July, that would be just perfect for you. I know you’re incredibly smart, that you can go toe-to-toe with some of the most cutthroat businessmen in Manhattan and come out on top. I know that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, even in those flannel pajamas. I know that you’re the woman I’ve been searching for my whole life. Gracie,” he said, his skates scraping softly on the ice as he held up the ring, “will you please marry me?”

Did I want to marry him?

“Hudson,” I said carefully. “I used to dream about spending my life with someone who loved me, someone boring, and low drama, who was content to lie in bed and watch movies. In my dreams, he’d have a steady job, maybe in accounting, and wear a suit and tie, and come home at six, and like casserole. He wasn’t much in the looks department but was still a nice person.”

I took a deep breath.

“You are nothing like the man of my dreams. You’re aggressive, brashly overconfident, and obnoxiously good-looking. You don’t wear underwear let alone a suit. You don’t have a real job. Hell, I don’t even know what you do, and you leave a trail of destruction and drama in your wake.”

He was crushed.

“I know.”

“But ever since I met you, I can’t help but dream of a future with you, building a home, arguing about Christmas decorations—”

“I’d let you win any arguments,” he promised. “Actually, you probably wouldn’t even need me to let you win anything.”

“I dream of coming home and curling up on the couch, baking cookies together while you get flour all over your black clothes and complain about it but still stay up until 5 a.m. in the kitchen with me. We’d raise little gray-eyed children who’d probably jump off the roof or steal a train or something crazy. Somehow, you’re everything I never knew I wanted. I’m supposed to be the daughter who makes good decisions, safe decisions. Maybe being in love with you isn’t the safe choice or the smart one, but it’s the one I want to make. Or it could be the holidays.”

He smiled. “I hear Christmas makes people crazy.”

“You make me crazy.”

“Marry me,” he said solemnly. “Marry me, and I’ll make sure all your Christmases are perfect.”

“Okay,” I choked out. “Yes, I will marry you, Hudson.”

He slid the ring on my finger then stood up.

“I love you so much,” I gasped before he kissed me, spinning us around on the ice, until I was dizzy and laughing deliriously.

“I love you more than you can ever know,” Hudson murmured against my mouth as he slowed the spin.

“I can’t believe I just did that,” I said, gazing down at the ring sparkling on my hand. “Is this crazy?”

“You were going to give me a hand job in a bus, Sugarplum.” He winked. “I’d say this is actually pretty mild for you.”