Gone Bitch: A Parody of Gone Girl

There was a loud knock at the door. I looked at the clock: 1 p.m. on the dot. The police had come to arrest me. Apparently they hadn’t heard that Amy had returned.

I opened the door. Boney stood there holding handcuffs, with Gilpin next to her. “You’re under arrest,” she said.

I was about to point to Amy and explain everything, but it turns out I didn’t need to. Boney wasn’t talking to me. She was talking to Amy.

“Amy Elliott Dunne, you’re under arrest for the murder of Desi Collings,” Boney said, cuffing Amy. “You have the right to remain silent—”

“I didn’t murder anyone!” Amy said. “Desi kidnapped me and I escaped from his house while he was masturbating. I have a video to prove it!”

“And we also have a video,” said Gilpin. “A video of you killing Desi.”