Chapter 19: Things get complicated
Finally the day of her sea training came. Krita stood at the docks looking over the ship that would be her reluctant home for the next six months, or thereabouts. She gave a deep sigh and wondered whether Lord Matsu, Arthion or someone else would come and give directions, or if she should just board and seek out the captain. Arthion and Krita had said their private goodbye the previous night, but Krita longed to see him one last time. She waited a time and when no one showed she reluctantly boarded the ship. When she reached the deck she looked back to the city. She was glad to see Arthion waiting and watching. She gave a smile and a slight wave before she retreated further onto the ship and found the Captain.
Sea training was trying, but mostly lonely. She knew most of the basics about a ship. But the hands on the deck knew better than she. They did as she requested, but the requests did not come often. She watched and learned what she didn’t yet know. She was not her usual self around the crew however. She drank not a drop of mead while on the ship and spent her nights alone thinking of Arthion and being back at Tsukimatsu.
Several months into the voyage/training, Krita started to notice things changing. She was eating more, gaining weight, craving strange combinations of foods. She was doing enough work that the added food should not have added too much weight, but her belly was swelling. Her monthly bleed did not come, finally after supervising the loading of supplies at a port, Krita decided she would visit a healer. He confirmed what she had thought. She was pregnant. She continued her work during the days. Nights were now spent in a combination of jubilation and dread. What if Arthion wouldn’t accept their child? What if he would? They were both possible heirs, could they be together like Nils and Ri’ana or would they have to choose between home and the family that could be? Thankfully the port where her suspicions were confirmed was the last stop on the journey and they were on their way back to South Port. Back to Tsukimatsu. Would Lord Tsukimatsu allow her to continue training while she carried and eventually delivered her child?
Those last few weeks seemed to last forever, but finally the shores of Ra’vain were seen and the ship passed the Citadel of South Port. It was a beautiful sight for Krita. It wasn’t home, but it was close enough, and she had to tell Arthion. Again Krita was tasked with supervising the tying up and unloading of the ship to the caravan that would take the needed supplies back to Tsukimatsu. She hoped that she would not have to wait until Tsukimatsu to see Arthion, but knew it was a strong possibility. With a sigh she questioned a crew member about where her horse was. He pointed her to Oblekt and Krita strode over to him, stroking his snout lovingly before straining to pull herself into the saddle, sighing deeply as she decided to sit side saddle.
Oblekt started as the rest of the caravan did. Krita reined in her horse and hung at the back of the line moving slowly, her eyes taking in every face that passed. When there was an opportunity the eyes looked forward trying to pick out anyone in Tsukimatsu blues.
Arthion never showed up. There was no way of knowing when the ship arrived at port save for when the Captain reported to Lord Matsu. Until then all he could do was stay in the castle and train. Or in this case, by the time Krita reached the castle she would be told that he was preparing for an Arena battle with him as one of the fighters. He was mid battle, five against one and he sported a large grin as he circled topless with sword in one hand and ax in the other
Krita nervous of the eyes upon her found her way to the arena and took a seat. She wanted so badly to talk to Arthion alone. To know what his feelings were about their child. She would of course blame the pregnancy on a seaman if Arthion asked her to, but she hoped for more. Now she would have to wait for him to dismantle the five opponents and hope that she could get him alone soon afterwards.
Arthion was quick to dispatch his opponents and when the last fell he turned and bowed to his father watching in the raised podium before Arthion started helping the students up and seeing them out of the ring to clean up and return to training.
Krita stood as the bout ended. She knew in theory where the combatants would exit the arena. There she waited and hoped. Megwan had seen her in the crowd and followed her to the exit, “My Lady, you have returned...” the sentence trailed off as she took Krita in completely. “I...I will leave you to Lord Arthion, he should be through soon enough. You will talk to me tonight in the barracks?”
Krita gave a nod, “We will talk soon. There is much to catch up on. I’ve missed your friendly ears Meg. But I need to speak with the Lord first.” Megwan nodded and rushed off. Krita’s eyes passed over the gathered fans. She backed away to try and separate herself from the crowd. Leaning against a nearby wall she watched carefully and hoped she would be noticed as well.
Arthion was laughing and pushing away some of his brothers who had come to pester him over his fight and what he had done ‘wrong’ Amongst the brothers was Chance. Who was currently in a headlock by his older brother and getting a fist driven into his matted hair before the Matsu brothers all stopped at the sight of Krita.
“Oh! My Lady!” Chance grinned from his current spot and held up a hand in casual greeting grinning as if being in a headlock was hardly worth noticing “Your back! Hope the sea was kind to you! And...well now would you look at that!” Chance ribbed his brother who dumbly let him go, Arthion noticed as well.
Krita bowed awkwardly, “Hello Kin, it is good to see you again. I did not know you would be here. The tides were most kind all things considered.” Her eyes nervously fell to Arthion, but she didn’t know if she should be bold enough to ask for a private meeting. Finally she held her eyes closed for a moment then gave a sigh, “Lord Arthion, I would like to discuss how my situation will affect my training if you have time.”
Arthion continued to stare numbly before Chance rolled his eyes and gave his brother a harsh elbow before leaning to the side and whispering none too quietly “Your line is....’Yes of Course, My Lady’”
Arthion turned his gaze to his brother and snarled “I know what to say you idiot!” He exclaimed as he gave his brother a push that sent him into the arms of their other brothers, all grinning and snickering at the situation “Get on with you Pups!” he barked as they all hurried away laughing. Seeing Chance teasing his brother, Ian scrambled close to the youngest Tsukimatsu son and started whispering.
Arthion turned to face Krita with a deep flush to his cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck “Err...S-sorry about that. Um...Yes of course My Lady.” he repeated the given words Chance gave him.
Krita lowered her head in a bow, “Thank you. And don’t worry about the staring, I know this is a surprise. I’m starting to get used to the stares, they started before I even knew what they were staring at.”
Arthion chuckled nervously “Err...Right umm... follow me then.”
She allowed herself to be lead to a private area, it appeared to be a chamber room in the castle, it had a living area and in an adjacent room appeared a bed, two familiar dogs slept atop of the neatly made covers. Krita let out another sigh hoping that their combined nerves would begin to calm. “My Lord. I...doubt we can continue to keep our relationship secret, unless you prefer that I tell that the child was fathered at sea.” She took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, “According to the timing I’ve been given by the healer I saw. The child is yours however. I would like very much to form a family with you. But I don’t know if that is possible.”
Arthion was pulling out a comforter chair for her before he paused and looked at her with a raised brow “And why not?” he asked, a slight smile to lips despite his nervousness.
Krita looked at him nervously, “I stand to inherit Kronnborg, and you Tsukimatsu. When the child is born I will still have three years left on my contract. I can’t ask you to give up what you’ve been raised for...and honestly if I’m presented with the opportunity, I can’t lay the responsibility on Freda. I...I...have just been thinking far too much maybe. May...maybe things will work out just fine. I...I just don’t know...and...and I’m scared.”
Arthion stopped just before he was about to sit down in his own chair and frowned “Ah.” The concept of child was still quite new to him and he hasn’t had any time to process that it was real, much less think of the repercussions of it. Abandoning his attempt to sit down he straightened and held a hand out to her to bring her into a comforting hug should she accept it. He honestly didn’t know what to say. Like her he wasn’t willing to give up his right to lead Tsukimatsu once his father passed away. His father was a stickler for tradition and he himself leaned towards it often. As lady, Krita was expected to give up her role in Kronborg and aide him, their family and their ’students.’ here. Otherwise the child that grew in her belly now was...his bastard. The thought left a foul taste on his tongue and he didn’t know what to think on the matter.
Krita leaned into the hug that Arthion offered. She was near the point of crying, but held the tears back. She wanted to be strong. “You...your father has married twice...Would he recognize our child our relationship and allow you to marry again...for duty?”
“I...” He paused. There was no right way to say it to make it not sound hurtful but he knew his father. “He will accept the child.” he started slowly, holding her carefully as he rested his chin on top of her head “But not the relationship if you are unable or willing to serve your purpose as wife of Tsukimatsu. He is married twice, but both wives live in Tsukimatsu and honor their duties here.”
Krita frowned, “I will do that if I can. But I will be happy knowing that our child is taken care of. Your father will not accept it...that is ok with me...but...but I love you Arthion. I don’t want to live my life without knowing I can see you...be with you. I can’t turn my back on my family in Kronnborg, just like you can’t turn your back on yours here.”
“The child will be accepted - Is - accepted” Arthion stated simply. “But if you do not surrender your role as heir of Kronnborg...” he sighed “While my father lives, we will be unable to call each other husband and wife. And besides...what kind of role would that show the child? his or her mother on one end of the cost and the father here.”
Krita continued to frown, “I’ve heard of women who take their children from the fathers in times of war. I will be here for the first three years of the child’s life. If the child is a boy it will begin training even if informal not long after that. I will not be missed, and I would come as often as I can. As long as my father lives I will continue to be an afterthought. It has been two years and I’ve heard no news, received no visitors. I don’t want to go home, I want to make this my home...with you. But I can’t do that.”
“Don’t you have a brother who stands as heir?” Arthion suggested “Can he not lead Kronborg instead of yourself or your sister Freda? He lives in Old North doesn’t he? Combining the two lands would only benefit your family not hinder it.”
Krita shook her head, “Nils has enough on his hands, what will happen when Lord Ashtar and Lord Ammon pass on I can’t say for sure. But Nils will not come back to Kronnborg. Rule possibly, but someone will have to look after the Kronnborg, make it what it should be. Something that my family can be proud of.” Her hand rose to Arthion’s cheek, “I will be here as much as I can, I’ll even maintain a house if possible, but I don’t think that I can commit to becoming your wife as things are now.”
“I...” he frowned “I understand.” He didn’t really. But he wasn’t going to try and upset her anymore.
“It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you...I do, but...” the sentence trailed off she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want it to be this way. She could tell that though he said he understood, he was struggling as much as she was. “That’s what happens when you let a feisty independent girl like me get too close huh?” she said in a broken tone forcing herself to smile.
“What would happen if we didn’t change anything except being more open about our relationship, until my contract is up?” She asked almost hopefully.
“You will be moving up here instead of the barracks. This is my chambers though I suppose a crib is in order now...” He tried to smile for her sake “No sense in trying to hide it anymore, but...when your contract is up..You will have leave and return to your own home.”
Krita’s frown returned, “I guess we’ll make the best of it for now...Are you sure we can’t go back to a ten year contract,” she added the last bit slowly and gave a worried smile. “I just don’t want to lose you to duty. My Uncle made that mistake. Will you be happy to see me when I return if I am the Lady of Kronnborg?”
Arthion smiled “Of course I will be happy. I’d rather you here.” he reached up to wipe away tears from her cheek “But an heir must serve her seat during and after his or her father’s reign. Not doing so will lose the respect of your people and then you won’t have a seat to take over when he dies, as the people will turn on you. You must show them that you are there for them and not for your love of a lone wolf in the lands of Tsukimatsu.”
Krita stood tall and gave a genuine smile. She kissed him lightly on the lips, “You are no lone wolf. You are part of a large pack. And now you have the beginning of a new pack. I know you will have to marry,” she shrugged, “I might have to as well, but no matter where I am, what duty makes me do, my heart is here with you. I hope I take a piece of you with me as well.”
Arthion gave a strained smile and hugged her close “For now let us just get you rested, you had a long journey. Why don’t you bathe and rest..” he waved towards his room where bed and tub could be found “I’ll send servants up to help and bring food while I speak to my father. Get your things moved up here....”
Krita gave a long sigh. She nodded and did as Arthion suggested. Slowly she undid the bindings of her clothing, “You will be back soon?” she asked hopefully.
“I-I’ll try.” he answered, it was a lot to take in and would be a lot more once he sat down with his father. “By tonight for sure.” he promised. “Just get your rest until I return.”
Krita nodded and continued to Arthion’s room. “I’ve had several months to imagine how this would go...” she said softly, “this is neither the worse or the best I imagined. The news is more than I can expect you to handle in a few moments. Go be with your family. Talk things over. I’ll be here when you can join me.” She tried not to think of the number of times she’d mentioned love and her feelings and he never answered with his own. He was probably thinking about other things. Love would show itself once the other obstacles were tackled. Her head hung a little as she disappeared into the room clothes dropping on the floor as she walked.
Arthion watched Krita leave before huffing a sigh and turning to the door. He loved the girl, but that was the problem. Loving a girl you could not keep was a dangerous situation. She thought that she could love him and marry someone else out of duty. But that someone else would not be so accepting of the distant ‘love’ If it weren’t the child he might even try and end the relationship, walk away. It would’ve been a painful thing. But at least it would have spared them the heartache in three years when she took his little boy or girl in arms and left this castle for duty. Three years of acting like a couple in this little room and then....gone. The door shut softly behind him as he went in search of his father.