Ghost in the Roses

The ice is far behind me and I wake up in a warm bed, not knowing for how long I’ve been out of it. But it’s obvious that I didn’t make it to the rest of the classes. It takes me a moment, but I recognize this place. When Kai shot me in the ass with his arrow this is where I’ve been brought to, but his time I find my care in a more private setting. Instead of being shut out from view by curtains, I’m in a room with walls and a window. To my left, there’s another bed and it’s occupied. My roommate who appears to be a mortal man just like me is asleep...I think. It’s hard to tell; his back is turned to me.

Very quietly, I sit up. Next to me on a bedstead is a twin-bell alarm clock. I pick up the chubby, brass mechanism and stare at it, trying to guess the meaning of time. The delicate hands point at 6 o’clock, but is it 6 o’clock in the morning or evening? This and the view in the window are my only ways of getting to know the day I’ve to awaken to. The sun is rising...or is it setting?

“You should call the nurse and order some dinner,” my roommate is awake after all.

He turns to look at me. It’s Gabriel Tatashin. He too, was there on that day on the icy lake, “But before you do that, I suggest you go to the bathroom and wash up,” he seems glad to see me.

“For how long we’ve been here?”

“The whole fucking class been here since yesterday. This whole hallway is filled with us. I’ve been awake since early afternoon.”

“The whole class? Did anyone get to the wizard?”

“No, no one did.”

A realization dawns on me. I don’t think anyone could. I don’t think anyone was supposed to. We all have been outmatched and the chance of winning was slim to none, but not because no one tried hard enough, or because no one was smart enough, fast enough, or strong enough. Everyone failed because for the first time we got to be the little fish on that lake and no matter how much we’ll grow, there will always be a bigger one.

“You go wash up, now. I’ll order both of us a steak meal. It’ll be good for the blood,” he nods at me.

“Thanks. Make mine medium rare, please,” my sore muscles take me to do what my roommate keeps on suggesting I do.

Oh... Now, I see why he's smirking at me. Right above the sink, the mirror shows me my hilarious reflection. Some time during my sleep, male genitals have been painted on my cheek with generous strokes of black paint. The joke doesn’t end there. Someone wrote a false explanation of why I’ve been asleep for so long. ‘I’m in a sex coma’ is written on my forehead.

I can’t decide is I should be pissed off or find this prank funny. At least, even when we lose a battle we don’t lose our particular sense of humor.

“Don’t be too embarrassed! I woke up with the same thing on my face!” Gabriel shouts in a hearty mid-laugh.

Thank the stars, the paint came right off in the shower, and just as I come out dressed in patient’s issued cotton pants and shirt my tray is already waiting at my bedside. Gabriel is sitting on the edge of his bed, eating his.

A two-horned nurse walks in as I take my plate and make myself comfortable on the wide ledge of a window sill. A few potted plants keep me close company.

On top of a dresser, she sets down a tray with a pitcher and two glasses, “Here’s your fresh water for the nighttime. How’s your dinner, gentlemen?”

“Very good, thank you,” my and Gabriel’s same reply is simultaneous.

“Good, enjoy it while you can. You and all of your classmates will be discharged in the early morning. Shift change is about to begin, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” once again, we say the same.

As she closes the door behind her, we see the last of her white uniform.

“Adrien...” Gabriel kills the short-lived silence.

“What?” I look up from my plate.

“I got to say something to you.”

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“You won’t be seeing me around the Academy anymore when the doctor discharges us.”

“What do you mean?” the cutting of my steak comes to a halt.

“I quit.”

Like a dumbfound deer, I’m shocked. I bite my steak and my tongue and wait for him to say more. There’s got to be more.

“I can’t do this anymore,” slowly, he shakes his head.

“Gabriel, I don’t think that any of us were supposed to pass that lesson on the frozen lake. I think we were supposed to fail and learn to get up from it.”

“It’s not about getting defeated by that wizard. I wanted to quit for a long time now. This just isn’t for me, not anymore.”

“What do you mean?” I put my plate aside.

“You see what’s happening all around us. There’s chaos everywhere. Not just in the cities anymore, even in the villages in the country side.”

“Gabriel...”

“The people have lost all hope and confidence in the kings and no matter what, they’ll never regain it again. Everyone wants a new system, a new leader, but who’s to say that it’s for the better? Who’s to say that it will be better?”

“Gabriel, don’t give this up.”

“I already did. I sent a resignation letter to the Director before you woke up.”

“You know you can still recall it. It’s not too late for that.”

“Adrien, I don’t want to be thrown into slaughter for something I don’t know I believe in anymore. I’m not willing to do service in a new system that I don’t know if I’m willing to stand behind.”

“I understand,” and I do. This is new to me, but I really do.

During my entire time here in the Academy, I keep hearing how people lost faith in the kings and that if knights are not careful and become dismissive, the same thing can happen to them. This is the first time I witness this happening the other way around, but it does make sense.

Knights can lose more than just a fight. We too can lose faith. We too can lose hope.

After dinner, I decide to leave Gabriel alone. He doesn’t ask, but I know he wants to be left alone to think over what to do next for his future’s sake. It’s time I go check on my other friends anyway. Kai and Nina must be in one of these rooms and I do find them here, both at once.

A room’s door is wide open and a sweet image is embraced by the doorframe. Kai is there, still asleep, but he’s not alone. Nina has beaten me to his bedside. Who knows for how long she sat by his side to make sure that when he woke up, he does not wake up alone and lost. I dare not to disturb her devotion and quickly back off, knowing very well that he’s in good hands and I’ll only get in the way.