Chapter 45: Decision's
For a while, no one really says anything, until Clare dismisses the whole argument and turns to me.
“It’s time for your medicine.” She declares drawing the eyes of the group. Wow, this is very awkward. My uninjured arm lifts as I push back my loose hair that has fallen from my lazy bun. I bite my lip for a moment before I speak up.
“I-um- I’m not going to take them anymore,” I say a bit timidly. Everyone looking at me but Clare’s mouth drops open in surprise and I would guess confusion.
“What?” She speaks up furrowing her brow. Her arms cross around her chest and I’m guessing I’m about to get into my own fight. I don’t know who to trust but I don’t want to be putting crap into my body when I don’t know what it is especially what I’ve learned so far. I bite my bottom lip already growing from all my stress nibbling.
“I’m not taking any more medicine. What’s the point anyway.” I say growing even more sure of my choice every second. Maybe it’s because I was aching to be defiant to her rule over my body, or because I’m starting to get paranoid. All I know is two people have told me to not trust the government and I’m starting to believe them.
“You can’t do that, and you know the point.” She stands her ground giving me her stern stare.
“The point is that you and the director have been pumping that crap into my system, I have no idea what any of it is. It’s not like it’s helping the symptoms anyways.” I say matter of factly feeling an extraordinary exhilaration at my defiance.
“Wait, wow. What are you talking about.“Enyo interrupts pulling our eyes to him. He now stands next to Clare as if he’s getting ready to referee us.
“That’s why I told you guys you aren’t in any danger from Aspen because she’s been taking medication to help conceal and temper her sickness. I can’t be sure what will happen if she stops taking them.” Clare look’s to Enyo and for a moment It feels like she’s tattle-telling on me to a parent or maybe she’s hoping his pressuring will cause me to concede.
“And you’re risking our lives to not take them?” Foxglove says joining Clare in glaring at me. Fed up I stand up a little too quick but ignore the blood rushing from my head. I set a stern unmoving stare right back at them.
“They don’t matter. Either way, I’m going to be too weak to survive the virus, that crap has only succeeded in hiding the fact I’m not really human.” I say pointedly. Before Clare can say anything I keep going.
“Tell me, Clare, Do you exactly know why the director has me taking those injections? Do you even know how they are helping me?” I rant my arms flying in frustration. Clare step’s forward her face reddening. The team is watching us like we’re crazy and in my eyes, it feels more like the team’s breaking down the closer we get to our objection.
“Well, it’s hidden the aggression, the blackened veins, so I would say they’ve helped. I don’t understand your sudden resistance to the director whose operating by your father’s instruction.” She hits back and I roll my eyes scoffing.
“Oh, yeah. Like you said It’s hidden it! It hasn’t changed one thing! But yeah, I forgot about the blackened veins that come after, I take that little white pill or the aggression that didn’t start until I started those injections! Maybe I’m starting to realize that the director has not been upfront about half of what’s happening. And my father..... Well, I wonder why I don’t feel like trusting someone who made me into this thing and then sent me to die.” I finally say the truth. My breathing picked up. Clare grows quiet as something new passes through her eyes and I ignore the team’s eyes on me.
I close my eyes and let out a deep breath, I need to calm down and play my part. I look up my voice calmer than it was a moment before, I look around at the team. Sadness, it’s in their eyes and I feel obligated to make them feel better about all of this.
“Listen; In a few days, I’m going to be dead, a ticking time bomb, or going back to being pricked with needles. The medication the director gave you was to damper my problem but they only worsen my symptoms. I need to be as strong as I can to survive, and I don’t want my last days to be sad or dulled down by the meds.” I finally say. I look at Foxglove then with a sweet smile.
“Foxglove, Do you really think I would do anything to put you in more danger, after worrying all this time one of you will die? No. So don’t worry. The only way I can get you sick is if you get my blood in your bodies... so your fine.” I finally say trying to comfort them.
“Can we get moving to our next point? I would like for this to end.” Talon speaks up placing his hand on my shoulder and looking at Enyo. He was right, it’s later morning and we need to get moving.
“Fine. mount up and let’s go.” Enyo says walking out to his horse, the rest of us following quietly.
We mount our horses and begin moving to Solaris, I’m pretty sure Greta had told us it was destroyed by forsaken a while back, even Archer had said they had a few refugees from the attack that had survived.
We ride in silence through the rest of the rocky hill the mountain growing close. The whole time I’m distinctly aware that Archer and Ruby are following behind us. Yet no one seems the wiser as they are far more focused on their thoughts than the ride. We start to pass more and more tree’s as we get to the base of the mountain.
We pass through a grouping of trees as we suddenly come upon the large wooden walls of Solaris. Half of the outpost walls are burned down the others toppled down against other trees. Every building is either burned down or scorched all the way to its roofs. Old stains on some of the doors show us just how bad the attack was as blood both red and black stained the area. The whole area is almost completely destitute.
“Are we stopping here?” I ask out. The atmosphere with the team is still a little fresh from the news they are carrying around a genesis. The thought of finally having a name for what I am rather than a monster gives me ease I didn’t think would ever come. Especially the way Archer described us, he doesn’t see us as monsters or forsaken but simply the beginning of a new kind of human. It somehow gave me a small hope that somewhere I could be normal again.
“We going to keep moving, we will camp in the forest tonight before we reach the outside of ground zero.” Enyo order’s out in a monotone way. He no doubt is angrier than the others and It does bother me but I can’t change the position I’m in and what needs to happen.
So we keep riding past blood-stained buildings, children’s dolls left partially burned, and the haunting thoughts of what happened here until we ride up the mountainside and through the trees hiding it from view.