Gamma No More - Book 3

Closing her eyes briefly at Karl’s blatant ploy, Toni shook her head at his antics. She knew she’d got away with it far too easily before and he had won this round.

She and Karl had an interesting relationship, no one had trained him for the Beta role, however, growing up as a son of a Beta had prepared him far more for the position than even he had expected.

Even then, they had developed an unconventional working relationship; it was a mix of respect and friendship, and Karl baiting Toni into some decisions she would have to make to run the pack, knowing that outright arguing with her wouldn’t be effective!

This was one of those times, not that it was that much of an issue. She had planned to have that discussion with them, but it wouldn’t have been her choice to announce it quite like that.

“I don’t think you have lost the plot,” Toni begins.

“Really!

You think the combined years of my Sire and I don’t know how to identify a Lycan accurately?” Leif raises an eyebrow at her as he spoke.

“It’s not that, well I guess it may seem a little like that, but …”

Toni stopped and took a deep breath. Her usually calm mind unsettled. This was not the way she had planned this conversation to happen, at least not in her head.

In all her life, she had never had a problem expressing herself in any situation, but in this instance, under the gaze of two vampires, she was struggling.

It’s the look that the Prince is giving her, almost fatherly in his disappointment, that makes her squirm internally, which she finds odd, growing up without parents she had never felt the urge to seek approval from others, only to meet standards to avoid punishment.

All she needed to do was remember this was her life, and she was in control. She’d already promised herself that wasn’t something she would ever give away easily again, taking a deep breath, she took back control of the conversation.

“I have a few concerns, things that are concerning me about whether I am truly a Lycan. After reading the book Leif handed to me, several things have occurred that don’t fit with the Lycan history.

So, I wondered if my scent was similar to a Lycan and that was distorting the identification.”

She stopped and looked at the two vampires before her, their faces impassive.

“I have a lot of Alpha relatives in my bloodline. Maybe it’s just that gene being triggered, after all, you, yourself Leif, called me an impossible probability or something like that.”

“Improbable probability,” Leif corrects

“Impossible couldn’t happen, improbable is just unlikely to a high degree, subtle but important difference,”

Toni closed her eyes before she continued.

“Look, I had a mate and no wolf would recognise a Lycan as a mate, it’s the Lycan that finds the Erasthai, the books were very clear on that and while it was painful, it wasn’t hard to repeat the words to reject him.

Everything I’ve read describes Lycan’s incapacitated for months over losing their Erasthai.”

Toni trails off at the looks she is getting, suddenly feeling like once again, she is disappointing them. It’s ridiculous, she’s a wolf and an Alpha, they are just vampires; she repeats these words to herself as an internal mantra.

Prince Einar draws himself up to his full height, looking far more formidable than usual, showing his power, or at least a glimpse of his true nature. His fangs, which are always there, are now longer and sharper.

“Well, we can always try to force a change, put you at risk, that worked well in the past, although I was told it’s a painful way to bring out your Lycan form, but it worked a few thousand years ago with prisoners who claimed they weren’t Lycan born.”

His tone had become cold. His eyes appear to open an abyss into a world Toni doesn’t want to see as the blackness from his pupils slowly bled across the whole eye until consumed by darkness, they are completely black. A small shudder passes over her, as she feels a darkness rising inside her, ready to face the challenge.

“What do you think would work better, Leif, attack her or her pack?” The Prince’s words were so emotionless, it took Toni by surprise.

Leif smiles coldly, letting his fangs descend slightly before answering.

“Pups first Sire, Alaric and Iris can bring some over. Pretty sure that will force her shift.”

The tension in the area increased. Toni can feel the oppressive nature seeping all around her, only glad that they are far enough away from the main pack, so it’s unlikely they will notice.

Her command aura slipped out of her, darkness licking at the edges of her consciousness, forcing itself out without her conscious volition; there’s a large part of her that is not ready to believe they would do it.

But the coldness of their speech reminds her of Alpha Vincent before he delivered a punishment, triggering her in ways she hadn’t expected.

Prince Einar laughed, his face transforming back from a dangerous predator to a well-versed courtier.

“Or maybe we could just explain why you would have felt you had a mate?”

He winks at her and seems to shrink as he relaxes, no longer posing a threat, but the animalistic, predatory response in Toni doesn’t back down, and she won’t yet let herself relax.

“You know, Sire, I think she actually thought you would attack.”

Leif had an almost lopsided smile as he delivered his statement, making him strangely more human than she had ever seen before, but this just riled Toni more than she could understand, her pack deserved protection, not threats, even if it was just for others’ fun.

Toni’s voice comes out in a low threatening growl, her eyes going vibrant cobalt blue.

“I swear, threaten any pup or wolf in this pack, in jest or otherwise, and I won’t hold back next time,”

Toni is trying to relax her jaw, Tyra, still on edge in her mind, paced as she delivered her words, trying to withhold the rest of her dark command.

The Prince’s eyes flick to Leif, who nods slightly, acknowledging an unspoken thought, a genuine smile hitting his face.

“You versus Leif, now that would be a fight to watch, but not what I want out of this alliance we are slowly forming.

And I can only apologise, it was a joke, but I fear we took it too far.” Prince Einar looks directly at Toni.

“Relax Toni, neither I nor any of my line will raise a finger to harm any wolf under your protection, regardless of whether they are in your pack, or not.

Nor would I try to trigger your Lycan in that way, it’s not a pleasant experience. In the year before you gain your third form, you will undergo a growth spurt.

Forcing a change means it happens immediately and leaves you weakened. I would not inflict that on you, you have my word.”

An uncomfortable silence fell over Toni, she hoped she hadn’t misjudged the vampire’s intent, but their actions had taken her back to how Alpha Vincent had made her feel, almost verging on controlling and it didn’t sit well with her, risking her family, because that’s what her pack had become, just the idea of it, set her teeth on edge.

Toni signals them to walk towards the main pack, she had thought she’d been able to control the dark side of her command aura, but it had come unbidden, she had hoped maybe that it would fade once out of the Nightshades pack, but she guessed something honed for years can’t disappear in such a short time, still, having to face this pains her.

She had tried to eliminate that side of herself, reinvent herself as something far nicer, lighter and gentler. But how do you shed the past?

Having to face the Prince she could feel how easily it had risen inside her, like an old friend cloaking her in its warm embrace, even if she was trying to justify it as a defence of the pack, it had still risen unbidden from within her.

The Prince looks over knowingly, recognising she is facing an internal struggle, he places a gentle hand on her shoulder, stopping her from walking forward.

“Don’t deny who you are, or eventually, it will take you over from the inside. Imprisoning a part of yourself only makes it easier for you to lose control. Always remember to use your energy to fight for the rights of yourself and your pack instead of wasting it by fighting with yourself.

Carrying the darkness inside is a burden to some people, and one not everyone can bear, but you already do it well for one so young. Take some advice from someone who has seen many lives go past.

You are stronger when you accept every facet of yourself, when you don’t fight for control, just as you accept the light, holding both sides in balance gives you more control and ultimately more power to protect those you want to keep safe.

When you consider your life in terms of the lives of the surrounding wolves, in the blink of an eye people won’t remember you as the Dark Gamma, only as Lycan Antonia, someone who had the inner strength to get them through both dark and light times.

Trust me, I’ve seen many a Lycan come and go in my lifetime. Even if you live long lives in comparison with wolves, you will live in my memory long after you are gone.

And don’t fear what you saw in me, we vampires have become almost civilised over the last two millennia.”

The Prince’s eyes are alight with mischief as he emphasises the word, almost

“Plus, you are such a special creature, with so much left to achieve, I hope that in the next millennium, we will still enjoy each other’s company; when your life is long, you need to cultivate friends that stick around!

One piece of advice that may not make much sense to you as yet, but given time it should become clear, always remember that sometimes you need to accept that the price of peace is the loss of your freedom.

Finally,”

He shook his head as if he cannot comprehend his next statement.

“I would do nothing to injure your pack mates. Lycans hold grudges better than any species I have ever known and I don’t want to spend the next five hundred years trying to make up for one action!”

He wears a smirk, but it’s as if there’s something he hasn’t said. Leif laughed, breaking her observation of the Prince.

“So, about the reason, I had a mate, which we all know isn’t a Lycan trait?”

Toni brings the conversation back around to the question still concerning her

“All in good time, who is your best tracker?” The Prince’s gaze lands back on Toni.

Toni sighed. Sometimes she’d like a vampire to just cut to the chase for once. Their age seemed to increase their desire for theatrics and most of all, she wished Karl hadn’t opened his mouth.

“Fee,”

“Can you get her and another couple of wolves over, one of which needs to hold a rank in the pack.

I want to do a brief test and then I’ll explained why you felt you had a mate, and why having a mate doesn’t mean you are not a Lycan.

Oh, get them to bring along some scent masking spray. We’ll just use a light coating, as we only want to mask your personal scent, not your base one.

Let’s see if we can make it more challenging, so ask that they bring Alaric and Iris here as well.”

Prince Einar is smirking at Toni

“You know, you could just tell me.”

“Ahh, but we tried that already, so now we do it differently.”