Gamma No More - Book 3

I know that some of you will think I am being foolish, because I am putting either my pack or pups at risk, just to let him meet them now, rather than waiting for a better time.

Or that it’s taken me so long to let him know he has pups with me. A year is a long time to hide that information from someone, but you know what, I don’t care.

I’ve debated a lot over the last months on whether to do this, but ultimately, every pup deserves to know their parents, both parents, and Andy has already missed the first year of their lives because I needed to do this as safely as possible and let’s face it, I come with inbuilt risks and have done since before their conception!

But this is the important part. I don’t believe he was fundamentally bad, loyal to his pack, yes, but not bad and if you remember, I rejected him before he rejected me.

I have pictures for him, making sure he has one for each month he’s missed, taken in the same place, a plain white room with their toys, nothing and I mean nothing to geotag or give away the locations.

For now, it’s just about giving him time to get to know his pups. The harder discussions are yet to come, like how we can meet without undue risks for anyone, are yet to be determined.

But every parent has an impact on their offspring. Sometimes it’s less conventional than others, but no less important. As long as there’s no threat to the pups, I’ll allow the contact.

The problem will come with all subsequent meetings. This was an unknown for him. He couldn’t plan or tell anyone about it. The next time, assuming there is a next time, is the one that scares me the most.

Every time we meet, it’s going to increase the risk of being found out, but that’s a problem for another time. For now, it’s about letting him bond with his children.

The ringing of Andy’s phone brings attention back to the room. He sighs but puts his phone on loudspeaker so he can continue playing with the pups.

“Hi Cal,”

“Andy, where are you?” It’s clear from his tone that he’s worried.

“Alpha Dimitri is just taking me on a tour of the Neutral zone, it’s all good,”

“We didn’t realise you were missing. Something isn’t right, Andy. Do I call the Alpha?”

“Cal, trust me here. Everything is fine.

Scrap that, everything is more than fine, all parties will sign the treaty today. Relax, enjoy your drinks. The Alpha and I thought you all needed a break, but I’ll be along later.” Andy is smiling as he watches the twins.

“Ok, but I’ll be phoning regularly, if you don’t answer, just once, all hell will break loose!”

Andy laughs. It’s a relaxed sound, something she heard when they first met, and it sounds good.

“Goddess Cal, are you my nanny now?

I will answer your calls, but I think you need more alcohol to chill the fuck out!

We’ve done well and got the deal the Alpha wanted. It’s just time to relax a little.

Talk later” he hangs up, not wanting the distraction anymore

Toni had slipped into the kitchen as Andy took the call, preparing lunch for the twins. She left the door open, by default, but only so she could watch the pups. But Andy had put the phone on speaker, so she heard everything.

“Antonia, what happens next?”

“We let the pups play with their food and hope they eat more than they smear on themselves!”

She answers, grinning, placing Thea in a high chair as Andy mimics her actions with Theo.

“I meant about the pups, about you, well, us, I guess.

I can offer them a safe place in my pack and guarantee they will be safe, but I can’t yet do that for you, not until the King declared you innocent.

Alpha Kieran would refuse the request. To do otherwise would be a risk to the pack. But if we petition the King, we may be able to do something, get you all a place together.

Theo would be eligible to take over the Beta Role. He’s my oldest son, after all.”

Toni freezes.

“Do they, or I, look like rogues, unhealthy or unkempt in any way?” She holds his gaze, watching him shake his head before she continues.

“Trust me, they are safer with me than they would be in your pack, where you would have to register them against my name for them to be legal.

Just how many would seek them out or threaten them for that fact alone?

But neither Theo nor Thea will ever be happy in your pack as adults, and I think they would permanently be in trouble as pups, which is no life for them.

I can’t tell you why, not yet, but in the future, when things are more settled, I will explain why, but know, we don’t need saving.

Nor would your mate want these two growing up in your house. We both know they would be a direct challenge to her pups, no matter what you say, and that isn’t fair to her.

But I highly doubt either of them would look for a position as Beta in your pack. You can put your mate’s mind at ease on that front.

Finally, if you try to take these pups away from me, you will need to kill me first and I wouldn’t hold back just because you are their father.”

She growls out the last words, her eyes flashing briefly to blue before settling on her wolf’s amber eyes. Andy does a double take, unsure if he saw the change in eye colour, deciding it was a brief colour reflection.

“I… I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.

I shouldn’t have assumed you needed a pack, but there has been no trace of you, not even in the Neutral zone. It was an instinctive need to protect the pups.

But I can see they are safe and healthy.”

The words come out of Andy quickly, realising he overstepped, almost repeating the threat his Alpha had made when dealing with his ex-mate before and that hadn’t ended well.

Toni takes a few deep breaths

“And to be clear, the only us is as parents to our pups. You have a second-chance mate, and we have broken our bond. She says firmly.

“I am here because they deserve to know you, their dad, but if you suggest taking them away from me again, you will only have the hope of seeing them when they are old enough to make that decision for themselves.”

The threat was apparent in her voice; it took all her control not to turn her command aura on him.

She concentrates on helping Thea eat, getting close to her pup to breathe in her scent, calming her wolf. Even though Thea’s more concerned with sticking her hands in her food, her face softens as she watches Andy instinctively help Theo.

“Sorry, I would never want to take them away from you. I just wanted to offer to help, and it’s, well, it’s a bit of a shock to know I had more pups.

I always knew it was a chance, but after everything that had happened, well, I didn’t think you or they survived.

I’d love to see them again if you would allow it. Just tell me what I need to do, where I need to be, and I will meet any terms you set, no questions asked.” Andy’s voice is contrite and apologetic in tone, but most importantly, sincere.

After the pups have eaten their fill and gone for their nap, she and Andy sit down and talk almost like friends.

Eventually, they get around to talking about letting Andy see the pups every few months. There’s still the issue of how to achieve it safely, so, for now, they leave the where and how unspecified.

“I didn’t want to accept your rejection,” Andy finally admits

“My Alpha made me; I could feel you were fighting for your life in the end and… well, I’m sorry.” His face was full of guilt.

“Don’t be. Maybe it was destiny. Ironically, the timing helped me survive the fight.

Tyra dropped away at the moment you did it, meaning the attack on me failed as I was a human on the floor, not in my larger wolf form, so he missed me.

It changed the outcome of the fight, so I should probably thank you or your brother.”

At the use of the word, brother, Andy flinches.

“We fell out after he commanded me to reject you. I refused to recognise him as my brother anymore.

He interfered and had no right” Andy has a pained look to him.

“Well, maybe you should heal that breach. Your newest pup and potentially these pups will one day want to know their wider family.

And maybe it was the will of the Goddess and not his choice that he did it.”

She answers him, but he just grunts in reply, not yet ready to drop it.

“I don’t hold any resentment towards you or him. After all, I voiced the rejection first, so we are both at fault for jumping to conclusions.

You have a second-chance mate, who has given you a son, so the Goddess forgave you.

And I have these two, who gave me a reason to live.

Maybe, those are all signs that you took the right actions and need to forgive your brother.

We have to forgive ourselves and others to enable us to move forward. Otherwise, the pain that breeds inside from unresolved issues binds us to the past and eats away at us.

Trust me, that darkness and I were old friends.” She admits ruefully.

Later, after an afternoon of them playing together, she bathes and changes the pups as Andy helps. The image of domesticity before he has to go. She hands him the photos and an untraceable e-mail for them to communicate through.

Alpha Dimitri arrived promptly to take Andy away back to his pack after Toni had messaged her pack to get ready to leave. While she and the escort team packed up the cars to do the twelve-hour drive back.

Toni is confident that she has done right by her pups. The hard part is to come, finding a way safely, to allow Andy to see them, without risking her, them or her pack.

Her pups are destined to be Alphas, based on what she’s read about those with Lycan blood, or to follow a Lycan, not that she’s told Andy that yet. Trust, after all, takes time.

She had already thought that they may need to split the pack when they were old enough if they both wanted to lead.

They have the space to do it, but it makes her wonder what will happen when Thea finds her mate. She can only hope that they are open-minded about having a mate that doesn’t submit unless they want to.

Smiling at that thought, she closes the door and sets off for home.