Gamma No More - Book 3

Thank you for coming on Toni’s journey with me, I hope that you got a portion of the enjoyment that I had writing it and less of the frustration when the story didn’t work as I had first planned.

In the back of my mind, there was always a feeling of pressure, once I had started to publish chapters, of deadlines and the responsibility of not leaving you all hanging!

In reality, the average book takes three to six months to complete so I got in there, under the deadline!

But as long as that wait seems to you all, it often doesn't feel long enough to the writer! As I mentioned to my husband, it's finished, but not completed.

I could probably go back and add more chapters, and update others, but it wouldn't take the story onward any more, so that means it's finished to me!

Each book has come with its own writer angst, as I’m aware the focus changes slightly in each one, it was intended, but there’s always the question of ‘how will it be received’, trust me, when you are writing knowing others will read it, it still feels like you are opening up a portion of yourself for others to see.

I know you all wanted her to have a happier time across the books, but I’m hoping the Epilogue helped with that.

The journeys we take are rarely happy, they have good moments, but it’s the goal we head towards that is the thing we yearn for, think of the fitness mantra, no pain, no gain and that’s how I saw these books!

Also, I’m sure that there’s a group of you that wanted me to give her more of a love interest in the books, but to me, this was never meant to be a romance novel, so only as things that were relevant to the book got past my censorship!!

But books mean different things to each person who reads them, and that’s the beauty of words, each of us can take different messages from the same story, I loved the messages I got from my husband as he got to certain parts of the books.... and the comments you guys leave, I get to see the story through someone else’s eyes.

For me, though, when I first started writing these books, it was about control and it morphed slightly over time, but the overriding theme was or maybe that should be ‘is’, control.

Control comes in many forms, Self-control, Toni having to hide her emotions as an example

Being controlled.. and even Alpha Vincent was a victim of that (love or hate him!) he was also controlled by the ‘Benefactor’ even if he didn’t see it initially.

Controlling others, which isn’t always obvious to the controlled or the controller, is a regular theme - think "if you love me you..." statements, so many of the facets of life come with that hidden control.

Sometimes it’s the underlying hidden control can we don’t see that can be the most damaging.

But even in society, the people that you think have the most control (think King Petrus) are controlled by the societal expectations of those around them, his comments about hoping the warrant will fade away rather than having to resolve it.

In reality, for a peaceful society, we all have to live under some elements of control (think of the laws we live with to give us a structure.)

Sometimes, I question if we aren’t at our most free when we don’t have that much control, which is why Toni reflected at one point that maybe she had more Freedom as the Gamma.

A question I've yet to answer for myself and didn't broach in this series... Is having control just an illusion that we all strive for?

Anyway, that was just my motivation for writing this book, the reason for the theme of the story but not necessarily the story itself.

It’s not the only way to interpret it by far, a fight between right and wrong? a simple fantasy story? the growth of an individual who thinks they understand the world around them, only to find out they are wrong?

Every view of the story is valid and important and that’s why I love to read the comments you leave.

But once again, thank you for bearing with me, Toni’s journey has come to an end and you guys have made it worthwhile writing it.