Fury Focused

In the complete silence of Girderon Academy’s secret library, my brain wanted to explode. The text explaining the numerous different types of giants and how to distinguish them, although not helping, wasn’t the sole reason for my imminent mental melt down. Too many thoughts whirled in my head. Too many to think straight.

Groaning, I absent-mindedly lifted my hands from the thick, old book and rubbed my face. The damn thing slammed shut and flew back to its place on the shelves.

“Are you kidding me?”

I stood to retrieve the book from its spot, yet again. The stupid return spell, which kept the library neat and prevented anyone from leaving with one of these precious, nonsensical tomes, was driving me as crazy as my thoughts about everything that had happened over the weekend.

Nothing had really changed since Trammer’s death, except my thinking. The Council, which consisted of Adira, the Quills, Raiden, and a few others, had decided that, as a fury, I’d be the best candidate to watch over the remaining humans until a new liaison could be found. I hadn’t considered the implications when I’d agreed, but after a weekend to think about it, the responsibility of being a liaison was starting to get to me. Look at how many had died since I’d gotten here. Everything in Uttira seemed to want a piece of humans. How was I going to stop that from happening?

On top of that weighing thought, I had Oanen and the promise he’d somehow twisted from me. What the hell had I been thinking? My previous, single attempt at a relationship had ended epically with my fist. The last thing I wanted to do was throat punch Oanen because of some weird fury fit of temper.

Fine, that wasn’t even it. I knew, as a fury, I only punished the wicked, and Oanen was far from wicked. He was great. Perfect. And, I was terrified of screwing it up with him. How many guys really wanted to go out with a girl who had a flash temper and a tendency to hit first and ask questions later? Not counting Oanen, I felt pretty sure the answer would be none.

With the book once again in my hands, I returned to my uncomfortable seat at the old table and forced myself to focus as I started reading again. It wasn’t easy. Because of the way the book had been added to by different people throughout the ages, it didn’t read like a book but more like a recipe card with special notes.

Not all giants were giants by human standards. The term giant could describe the creature’s size but also their birth place. Most giants mastered the ability to control their size by adolescence. Only a few had other gifts, in addition to having the magic to change their appearance. Most just trained as warriors in case the gods ever called upon them to once again fight in their wars over earth.

None of the information on the pages seemed particularly valuable. I sighed and scratched my forehead while keeping one hand firmly in the center of the book.

From my place in the middle of the moderately-sized room, I looked up at the other volumes lining the shelves along the stone walls. Adira had suggested I pick a shelf and start reading the contents, in order, so I didn’t miss anything. There were a lot of books. Over five hundred, at least. And if they all read like this one, I would just be wasting my time.

Rolling my shoulders, I got back to reading again and tried to ignore the doubts that kept poking at my mind.

A sudden knock on the thick, old door echoed in the room and made me jump. Not that the book I currently read was that gripping. I was just that focused on trying to absorb the words.

Standing, I realized how badly my back ached. I worked out the kink as I moved toward the door and wondered how long I’d been reading. Adira had taken my phone when I’d arrived, saying that entering with any kind of technology would just destroy the device due to a spell that prevented classified information from being copied and shared. All of which made no sense to me. One, there wasn’t anything important in here as far as I’d read. And two, what was to stop me from just telling someone what I learned? But, I hadn’t argued with her. Giving up my phone to hang out in a library and avoid sessions and other people had seemed a fair enough trade.

I opened the door, expecting to see Adira checking up on me like she’d said she would. Instead, I found Oanen leaning against the frame, his muscled arms crossed and his close-cropped, golden hair glinting in the light of the hall. My pulse gave a sudden jump at the sight of him. I still couldn’t believe I’d said yes to being his girlfriend.

His blue gaze held mine, and a hint of a smile tugged at his lips.

“You look surprised,” he said. “Expecting someone else?”

“Yeah. Adira. She said she’d check in on me.”

“She mentioned that she did when I saw her in the hall. Both times you were reading.”

“What? She never came in here.”

“She doesn’t need to with her portals,” he said. “Come on. I figured you’d forget lunch if I didn’t come get you.” He straightened away from the door so I could step out.

“It’s only lunch time?” I groaned. It felt like I’d spent the whole day in the library already.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we walked.

“Yep. Only lunch. Three more hours of reading.”

I barely heard what he’d said. My heart pounded in my ears as the feel of his arm around me sent my internal temperature from I’m-fine to is-it-hot-in-here.

His fingers idly stroked down my arm as he continued to speak.

“Don’t worry. We’ll do something fun afterwards to make up for it.”

All sorts of warning buzzers started going off in my head. Fun? What did he mean by fun? Was that code for kissing? It was too soon for that, right? Before I could completely send myself into a full-blown panic, I spoke up.

“You’re freaking me out.”

He sighed and dropped his arm.

“Yeah, I could tell by your pulse. I was wondering how long you’d let it go.”

I turned on him and slugged him in the shoulder.

“That wasn’t nice.”

“No. It wasn’t,” he said. “And yet you didn’t get fury angry, only girly mad.”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Are you testing me?”

“No. I’m helping you see that I’m right and that there’s nothing for you to worry about. You won’t fly into a rage and hurt me.”

He reached out and gently touched my cheek. My slowly calming pulse went right back to racing, and Oanen’s lips quirked upward ever so slightly again.

“Not only do I make your heart race, I make you blush, too,” he said softly. “I like it.”

He wasn’t making me just blush, he was turning my insides into molten lava. I stepped back, breaking the contact to gulp in some cooler air.

“You said slow. And I’m not even sure I’m ready for touching yet. So, keep your hands to yourself.”

He tucked his hands into his front pockets and innocently arched a brow at me.

“That’s a start.” I resumed walking, and he stuck to my side as we navigated the busy halls toward the cafeteria.

“What did you bring for lunch?” he asked.

“Nothing. I figured I’d grab a tray.”

Yet, even as I stepped into the cafeteria, I knew standing in line was a bad idea. At least one out of ten students was doing or thinking something to set off my fury to a mild degree. Individually, it wasn’t enough to send me into a fit. Collectively, it was close.

“I packed an extra lunch if you’d rather skip the line,” Oanen said when I hesitated.

“Yeah, that might be a better option.”

We crossed the crowded cafeteria to get to the nearly vacant courtyard. Few students braved the cool fall air to lounge on the browning lawns and enjoy their lunches outdoors. Eliana already sat on a low wall near the trees.

As soon as she saw us, her face lit up with her usual shy smile, and she waved. I returned the wave, relieved she still seemed fine. Since she’d heard Trammer’s insensitive remark about the creatures here being parasites that fed off of humans, I’d worried about her. She’d been sensitive about being a succubus before the man went on his hate rant.

“How’d the reading go?” she asked when I sat next to her. Oanen handed me one of the three insulated lunch bags she had nearby.

“It was okay. I was expecting some big secrets; instead, it’s just—”

My lips kept moving but no sound came out.

“Part of the binding spell in the library,” Oanen said. “You can’t talk about what you read.” He unwrapped his sandwich and took a large bite.

“Don’t worry,” Eliana said. “Anything that’s common knowledge will loosen up inside you after a few days, and you’ll be able to talk about it. It’s a different sort of spell. Tricky. And not often used because of its quirks.”

She noticed my surprised look and paused.

“What?” she asked.

“How do you know all this? Have you been in the library already?” Adira had made it sound like letting students in there was something they normally don’t do.

“No. I was stuck in beginner’s magic two years ago. All any of the druid-types could talk about was the binding spell. Getting it right shows a level of mastery that only a few like Adira have.” Eliana pointedly opened my bag, which sat in my lap, and handed me my sandwich. “It was a really long year.”

I unwrapped my lunch and glanced at Oanen, who’d already finished the majority of his. Taking a bite, I paused at the flavor and looked at the sandwich.

“Do you like it?” Oanen asked.

I finished chewing and swallowed as I studied the peanut butter and marshmallow fluff interior.

“Yeah. It’s different but good. What is it?”

“A chocolate fluffernutter sandwich. My mom remembered them from the sixties. Well, the regular fluffernutters. They didn’t have chocolate peanut butter back then.”

I took another bite, enjoying the sugary goodness. It hit the sweet craving I’d been having for weeks now.

“Eliana mentioned that you missed some of the food from outside. I thought this might help.”

I looked at his remaining bite of the healthier turkey club he held.

“You didn’t want one of these, too?”

His lips did that small little twitch thing again like he’d almost smiled.

“I’m saving the peanut butter for you.”

The way he looked at me and the remembered feel of his hand on my arm sent my heart racing again.

“I see Jenna. I’m going to go say hi,” Eliana said, quickly moving to leave me alone with Oanen.

I grabbed her arm and turned to her, my eyes wide and, probably, panicked.

“Now? I thought we were having lunch together.”

She rolled her eyes at me and tugged her arm from my grasp.

“Yes. Sandwiches. Not the stuff you two are throwing off. I’ll be back when you’re calmer.”

She hurried away. Flushed red with embarrassment and guilt, I stared at my sandwich.

“She’s not mad,” Oanen said. “She’s afraid.” He paused for a moment. “Like you.”

I looked up at him.

“This doesn’t need to be awkward,” he said. “I like you. Your smile. The way you think. Your temper. All of it. I think that saying we’re together is scaring you because you think it means something more than it should.”

“What does it mean?”

“That we’re spending more time together to get to know each other better.”

“That’s it?”

“For now? Yes.”

Why did he have to go and say, “for now?” I wanted to groan and cover my face.

He leaned closer.

“I can hear your heart beating faster. ‘Now’ doesn’t worry you, does it?”

I shook my head.

“Good. Then, eat your sandwich, Megan, and stop worrying about what comes later.”

Forcing my thoughts to something other than the large, muscled Oanen who smelled like summer and wind and everything I wanted to inhale, I thought about the library and managed to calm down after a few more bites.

“I haven’t found anything talking about the history of the gods. What can you tell me about them? I mean, they were real, I get that. But, why did they create all of us and then just leave?”

He stuffed his lunch containers back into his bag.

“I’m not sure that they just left. No one really knows what happened to them. They just stopped directing us.”

“All at once? Like, maybe they all died?”

He shook his head. “Gods don’t die. And I don’t think it happened all at once. But again, no one really knows. It happened a long time ago. Some of us live very long lives, but I don’t think anyone is that old. All we have are stories passed down from those who were there during that time. Stories that are probably in those books.”

I groaned.

“The writing in those books is awful. Old. Hard to read.”

“And I’m guessing not all in English.”

“Dunno. I haven’t made it very far,” I admitted.

“Why are you asking about the gods?”

“Something I read. Not all of the creatures seem to have strongly defined purposes without the gods here to tell them what to do.”

“Yeah. That’s part of why the Council and places like Uttira are necessary. It provides meaning for those without a purpose and accountability for those whose purposes don’t align with the collective objective of remaining hidden from humans.”

Eliana crossed the yard and rejoined us.

“You two all right now?” she asked, hesitating to sit.

“Yeah,” I said quickly. Not wanting to think about what had sent her running, I continued the conversation with Oanen. “It still doesn’t sit right with me, though. They created us, made us with these…instincts, then just bailed.”

“That’s the nature of things,” Oanen said with a shrug.

I opened my bag of organic potato chips and munched, lost in thought while Eliana hurried to eat her lunch before the bell rang.

If we were keeping each other accountable, and creatures like me were keeping humans accountable, who was keeping the gods accountable?