SWNOVELS Chapter 4
“Henry Darger has become famous for his posthumously discovered 15,145-page fantasy novel manuscript called The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What Is Known…” the narrator spoke from the television as Khaled changed the channel on the television’s cable box to Nickelodeon…
A surprisingly intricate plot for a children’s television show played on a cable network as Khaled and Tam-Pam waited for Graves and Fuckface but Khaled tried to remind her not to call him…
“…ssshhh…” to quietly get her attention… “call him Joe…” Khaled winked as Tam-Pam ate some French fries waiting for her brother and ‘Joe…please don’t call him Fuckface…’. The television show was called Detective Teleportation Sloth…or just Teleportation Sloth. A crime-fighting Tree Sloth who doesn’t need to move fast because he can teleport and his sidekick Doctor Osvaldo Possum…Khaled began to laugh.
“The guy who wrote this show was inspired by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Adventures of Sherlock Holmes book that he read while tripping on Lysergic acid diethylamide…” he said turning the volume up and then whispering, “acid. Because of martial law and the Rainbow Coalition…it is disrespectful to rename the national guard, that name because we are in a forever state of martial law since the USA became a kingdom…it isn’t safe for you and Graves to hang out there by the dumpster…” he continued to whisper. “They are the same people but our government isn’t the same…right now we need to hide. One of these Coalition guys goes to Mass with me and warned me, little delinquencies won’t be tolerated anymore. And do not give the other guys any reason to arrest or suspect anything. They are afraid of being caught on the wrong side of a firing squad for letting little infractions slide.” Khaled continued to whisper as Tam-Pam sipped on her beer…Arrogant Bastard.
“You are what you drink…” Tam-Pam tried to break the ice with some high school levity. Khaled tried to hide his amusement behind a scornful glance of condemnation.
“No cutting class…pray with us…have some food and drink and wait until you and Graves sober up to walk home…” Khaled said quietly. “This new Kingdom America scares me…some of my Jewish neighbors said the same thing. I thought we were all Americans with our flare…” he said flare making quotes with the index and middle fingers of each hand. “Ashkenazi Jewish American…Iraqi Christians…those Mexican guys with their loud Banda music…the black dudes or the Ethiopians and the rude…Jesse Jackson is a hero and the King uses the name Rainbow Coalition for the renamed King’s Guard to make a Kingdom under constant Martial Law seem status quo or friendly like a Pogo the clown kids' party until you figure out what John Wayne Gacy was all about…Jesse Jackson is a hero…” Khaled went on about how the other immigrant families in the neighborhood were scared of this King Bush regime. Khaled’s words had become booming.
“Shush…” Tam-Pam said with a vertical finger over her puckered lips.
Khaled turned off the television with Teleportation Sloth playing on Nickelodeon as Graves walked in with Joe Bouchard...
They sat down as there was another clerk up front while they had their time with the Holy Rosary, drinks, and dinner. They tried to rotate the menu each week…
“I found a note on the inside of a twelve-pack of Budweiser cans and the six packs of Arrogant Bastard…” Joe and Graves began to explain to Khaled and Tam-Pam…the nametag with Ehecatl and they used the books in the library rather than an internet search. The reason was clear Kingdom America’s draconian regime might extend to the interwebs…
“Adrian Woodhouse is Rosemary’s Baby…he is the Earthly son of Satan and has replaced George W…we travel through Space/Time but to change this part of history would be catastrophic to the Planet and the Universe.” That’s what was written on the inside of both of those packs of beer. Tam-Pam saw the name tag…
“That’s an Aztec god…” she pulled out her library book…
Then they became quiet and began to pray the Holy Rosary…before the food got entirely cold.
As they finished, they prayed in unison…
“Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle…
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil…
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray…
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host,
by the Divine Power of God,
cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls…
Amen…”
“And someone wrote the last prayer to Saint Michael on the inside of the Budweiser…in ancient Greek.”
And that’s when the yelling began.
“How would you know Fuckface?” Tammi called Joe Bouchard, Fuckface.
“Pam…” Graves grabbed her hand as she pointed at Joe. And Joe put the paper box the twelve pack of Bud…
Again, Graves and Khaled explained about the name tag because one of the six packs of Arrogant Bastard was leaking and so they opened it to find the name tag. The same word was on the label maker they used for their name tags but this name tag was written with black permanent marker. And this last time a customer brought up the twelve-pack in question and set it on the counter. Only after that did he hear something strange. Joe says that the cans began to open by themselves as he was turning the pack over to search for the barcode. The customer’s reaction is seen and heard on the closed-circuit television surveillance system…Joe laid the twelve-pack of beer on its side so that the pop tops were facing up and no more beer spilled.
The four were slightly inebriated…and three grown men were arguing with a high school-aged girl about the Prayer to Saint Michael the archangel and ancient Greek…Khaled had already used the Xerox machine to make copies…to settle the argument Tam-Pam would ask a teacher at her Roman Catholic high school…
Khaled went to the library at the community college or go to one of the universities and find a professor.
“I didn’t mean to yell like that…I was a little drunk and I shouldn’t call you that name…” Tam-Pam explained.
Joe said nothing but he didn’t seem angry.
He gave Tam-Pam a hug and Graves a handshake and pat on the back saying, “Next week we will have more answers, more prayers, and fried chicken and pizza. You don’t need to ditch school or have your thirsty Thursdays with Graves by the dumpster like Khaled told you…it’s not safe…something’s gone wrong with all of us when America became a kingdom.”