SWNOVELS Fragile Lives: Chapter 19
When we wake up from our nap, there is no awkwardness. I don’t feel an ounce of shame for anything I do or say around him anymore. It feels…good.
We have a quick bite and get dressed to go find a Christmas tree. Christmas itself has passed, and today is New Year’s Eve. But we can still celebrate. Plus, I’m feeling jolly, which isn’t a surprise considering the number of orgasms I’ve received in the past twenty-four hours.
Stephan seems happy too. His face is relaxed, the worry lines on his forehead gone. The corner of his eyes crinkle from smiling.
We’re walking deeper into the woods on a mission to find the perfect tree because I don’t like anything on our way—I’m totally lying, I just love spending time out here, in the middle of the woods, with snow falling around us—when I hear the sound of a twig under someone’s foot. We both freeze, and Stephan instantly positions himself in front of me, and I get squashed against a big tree.
Another twig breaks, and the sound of a large, loud animal comes closer.
“Damn it, Frank!” I push Stephan away, unable to breathe. “You scared us half to death!”
The magnificent moose appears from behind the big trees and heads straight toward us. He pushes into Stephan’s shoulder, moving him out of the way, and stops in front of me, looking for affection. I scratch between his eyes and behind his ears, slightly pushing him back. He presses his wet nose into my hand, snorts as he passes Stephan, and slowly meanders back into the woods.
“See, it was just Frank.” I turn to Stephan and find him watching where Frank disappeared, his gaze intense.
When his worried eyes turn my way, there is no humor in them. “I feel someone watching us.”
“It was Frank. Trust me, he’d know if someone was around.” Frank is notorious for beating up bad guys. As an animal, he has way better senses than we do, so I rely on him here. “Don’t be paranoid.” He doesn’t listen, so I tug on his hand. “Stephan, it’s okay, don’t worry. It really was Frank.”
His dark eyes dart between mine. “Yesterday, you thought someone was around. Who is this person from Boston?”
I thought this conversation was settled, and I’ve dreaded more questions. But there’s no reason to hide it anymore. “Someone has been pranking me, sending me weird messages.”
“Do you have them saved?”
“Yes.”
“Show them to me when we’re back,” he demands sternly.
“Okay.” I shrug easily. “We don’t have service, though. What would you do with them?”
“I’ll check them out when we leave.”
“Okay,” I say with a nod. “But it’s real—”
But I’m interrupted by a black furball smashing into Stephan’s legs, coming seemingly out of nowhere. He instantly crouches and pats the creature. It looks almost like a cat if it wasn’t so skinny, missing an eye and an ear, and not covered in so many battle scars. Cats don’t look like that. And besides, I doubt a domestic cat could survive out here.
But it’s indeed a cat. A very hungry one.
“I left you food on the porch. Why didn’t you come?” Stephan coos as he scratches behind the furball’s ears.
“Okay, now the cat food I found makes sense.” I nod, checking off one of the mysteries of the cabin. “Do you want to introduce me to your friend?”
When Stephan looks up, his cheeks are blushing, and I bite my lip, trying to hide a smile.
“Sure. This is Midnight.” He pats the cat one more time and rises to his feet.
Now it’s my turn to crouch. I take off my glove and offer my outstretched hand to the cat, who sniffs it once, lets out a loud hiss, and instantly walks away. “What just happened?” I blink as he disappears.
“He stopped coming for food. He needs to eat.” Stephan’s voice is worried, like he’s a father talking about his child. It’s so cute that my nose starts stinging.
“He’ll come around when he’s ready.” I touch his arm for reassurance, but he just keeps watching the cat. I get the feeling the little thing became jealous when I showed up at the cabin, and I can’t say that I’m not feeling bad about it—it looked so hungry and pissed, and I don’t want to be the reason it starves to death.
“You remind me of that cat, you know.”
This draws his attention, and he looks at me with a raised brow because that animal is definitely not the best looking one.
“What? You do. All this dark and mysterious.” I circle my hand around his face. “Like a black panther or something. This small version,” I point toward where Midnight disappeared, “works too. It’s like a mini panther, but not even slightly less lethal. Grr.” I giggle and mimic the cat’s claws with my fingers.
He lets out a loud snort and gestures for me to keep moving.
When my face is so frozen, it threatens to fall off, and I finally find the perfect tree (miraculously), we both hurry back home. I never doubted for a moment that he couldn’t find his way back. Throughout our whole walk, he never lost his sense of the land, and we never walked in circles despite the heavy snow. I probably should have thought about the possibility of being lost when I asked to go on this trip, but I always feel less responsible around him. It’s like his presence takes the worry of being an adult away.
When we get back home, I shiver in pleasure at how cozy the place is. I cook us dinner while he heads outside to change Midnight’s food since he didn’t eat it, and now it’s frozen.
We celebrate the New Year with two orgasms and a glass of bourbon. I offer Stephan another one, but he refuses with a smile, letting me know he really doesn’t need it anymore. I’m happy. I don’t like him intoxicated and unable to enjoy his life fully.
We sit by the fire, cuddling and watching the dancing flames. If there is anything out there better than this, I haven’t found it yet. His arm is wrapped around me, and my head rests on his shoulder.
“Will it be okay if I ask you why you changed your name?”
He lets out a loud laugh and answers, “I haven’t.”
“What?”
“Haven’t changed it. Well,” he chuckles, “at least not myself.”
“What do you mean?” I glance up at him and find a beautiful, content smile on his lips.
“When I went to my first training in the Navy, they took one look at me and called me Archibald.” His eyes twinkle at the memory, reliving his past.
“Why Archibald?” I ask, still confused.
“I wore a black turtleneck and high pants—really high pants—and still had a really thick accent and looked like a butler from some British show one of the guys saw. So just like that, I became Archie.” I feel his shrug. “And I was cool with it, considering I was there to escape my old life. And trust me, some guys didn’t get so lucky with their call names.” His chest shakes with quiet laughter. “Like your brother.”
“What?” I pull away and start laughing. “What was his call name?”
“Speedo.”
“Why Speedo?”
He begins cackling hysterically. “His whities were the tightest in the whole station. Like so tight, your eyes might bleed.”
“Okay, stop, stop, stop!” I cover my face with my hands. “Forget I ever asked!”
This is way TMI for my liking, and my ears and eyes are about to bleed. I don’t want to imagine my brother in tight underwear. Oh no, why did I go there?
We spend the rest of the night sharing funny stories from our lives, and when morning comes, we move our cuddling to the bed.
The storm stopped sometime during the night, way earlier than anticipated, but we don’t talk about it. Talking about it means our little agreement coming to an end, and neither of us is ready for that.
And that’s why we spend the following five days in the cabin, eating, fucking, and talking. At some point, someone came to clear the roads.
We drove to Springfield to get some groceries and to find a tow truck. Stephan entered the body shop to ask the guy to come get my car. When he came for it, he told us it’s salvageable, but it might take a hot minute to fix. I wanted to pay for everything, but Stephan shut me down, almost offended, and gave the guy his phone number so he could take care of everything. I don’t know how I’ll explain the lack of a vehicle to my family. I can always tell the truth and just withhold the part about Stephan. Accidents happen all the time, and Kenneth is familiar with it more than anyone.
Today is the day we go our separate ways. In the morning, we had the laziest sex possible, enjoying the moment and memorizing each other’s bodies. Three times. I could say the man is insatiable, and it’s all his fault, but that would be a lie—I love it just as much as he does. In fact, the third time was totally my doing.
We clean the cabin, pack our stuff, and walk outside. Stephan loads our bags into his trunk and walks around the house.
“What are you doing?” I call out.
“Looking for Midnight.”
I don’t even try to hide my smile. “What are you planning to do when you find him?”
“Take him with me, of course,” he responds, as if it’s the dumbest question on earth. Stephan has such a soft heart, I can barely contain my emotions. God help me if he ever mentions a kid or something?
A kid?
Where did that come from?
I shake my head, attempting to erase my unwelcome, illogical thoughts, but it’s too late; the seed has been planted, and now all I can think about is Stephan as a father. Of someone else’s child. My mood drops even lower than it was. Thank God he’s too engrossed in his cat search that he doesn’t notice it.
When he finally gives up and walks to the car, we silently climb inside and, as if on cue, look at the cabin together.
“I’ll miss this place,” he says quietly. A note of longing clear in his tone.
“Me too,” I agree and take his hand. He gives it a squeeze and starts the car.
We don’t talk much on the way to Little Hope, but he holds my hand the whole time. When he parks in my driveway, I turn to face him.
“I loved our time together. It’s what I needed.”
“Me too,” he says sadly. “Take care, Leila.”
“You too, Stephan,” I sigh his name, and he swallows roughly.
He turns to look ahead and drops my hand, which is my cue to leave in order to avoid any embarrassing moments like jumping onto his lap and begging him to become ‘us’ for real. I open the door and silently slip out. Our time in paradise is over, and harsh reality is back.