Fourth Birth: The Oakmont Saga, Book 1

I wasn’t sure how long I was asleep after they put that stuff into the tube, but when I woke up, I actually felt a lot better. My chest hurt, but it wasn’t that bad, and I felt well rested. It suddenly hit me, I went through that sleep not dreaming of James over and over. As a matter of fact, I wasn’t sure I dreamed at all, but the images were coming back now that my mind was working again.

“Good morning, Melanie,” I heard Mrs. Wilde say, as my eyes opened.

“Good morning, Mrs. Wilde,” I replied, unhappy but not surprised at her presence. “Is Aliyah here?”

Moving into my view, I saw Mrs. Wilde with a smile on her face. “No, she went to class, but she’ll be here during lunch and this afternoon.”

“What day is it,” I asked.

“Wednesday, why?”

“It’s the beginning of Sukkot tonight. Would it be possible for me to get some things to celebrate the feast?” I asked her, although I didn’t really feel like celebrating.

“That depends on what you want and if we can get them,” she replied, an odd look on her face.

“I need a palm branch, two willow branches and three myrtle branches, or at least something that can substitute for them, along with a citron. I can use a lemon if you can’t get a citron.” I knew they couldn’t get the stuff I asked for, but what I was really curious about was if they’d get something to substitute. I was curious if they’d even allow me to worship the way I’d been taught. This was a test, and I expected her to fail.

She looked at me oddly for several moments. “Are you Jewish?”

“No, ma’am. I’m Messianic.” She was obviously a little confused, so I explained. “We believe in Yeshua as the Messiah, but we observe the Feasts of God, along with Shabbat, just like the Jewish people do. We honor and celebrate the Hebrew roots of our faith.” She looked less confused, but there was still an odd look on her face. That look told me that I wasn’t going to get what I needed.

“We generally don’t allow religious observance outside of our chapel services,” she explained, pretty much confirming my impression.

“So, along with kidnapping me, you aren’t going to let me practice my faith.”

Getting an unhappy look at my use of that word again, she said, “I’ll see what I can do.”

Then I realized I had ballet class. “I haven’t missed ballet, yet.”

“So you decided to continue?” She looked a little happier.

“No, ma’am, but you told me I had to tell her, so I’m going to,” I replied, her smile slipping when I said that.

“I was hoping you didn’t still feel that way.”

“I don’t want to do it anymore.”

“Why?”

“I just don’t,” I replied, determined not to give anything away this time.

“Well, you aren’t to do ballet, or any exercise for four weeks, regardless. Why don’t you give it that time and decide then?”

“Okay, but I won’t change my mind.”

“We shall see.”

“You’ll see,” I whispered, anger blossoming inside me.

“There’s something I need to discuss with you,” she said, ignoring my whispered comment, and what I was sure was my very apparent anger.

“Yes, ma’am?” I was worried at the way she said that.

“I’ve already told you about the spot in your brain.”

“Yes, ma’am.” My tone betrayed my suspicion, not that I cared to hide it.

“Well, it’s gotten rather large. There are other areas that are inflamed as a result of it. The doctor wants to have you start taking a medicine to fight the inflammation.”

“Why are you telling me?” I asked, my suspicion growing rapidly. Typically, adults just gave kids medicine and expected us to take it, and these people didn’t even think of us as kids. Why was she telling me?.

“Because it has some side effects that could be bad, if they happen.”

“Like what?” The warning bells, which had already been bothering me, were getting really loud.

“It will turn off your telepathic ability completely while you are on the medicine. That would only be temporary.”

“Since we both know I don’t care about that, there has to be more.” Whatever she was holding back had to be big, with the way she was avoiding saying it.

“Yes, there is. Although this doesn’t happen in many patients, there’s a very slight possibility that it could do damage to your memory and an even more remote chance that it could impair your cognitive abilities, in other words, your ability to think.”

“This medicine could mess up my mind, and you want me to take it?” Shock didn’t come close to how I felt, and she wanted to give that crap to me.

“If you don’t take it, the doctor says you’ll likely be dead within a couple of days.” Tears form in her eyes as she spoke.

“That might not be so bad,” I said very quietly, not meaning to say it at all, but yet again unable to control my tongue.

I wondered if they would be willing to give it to me, even if I refused to take it willingly. I had very little doubt that they would, because all they really wanted was my telepathic ability. As a matter of fact, damaging my ability to think might make me easier to control and it’d be doubly good for them if I forgot my family. No, I wouldn’t take their medicine, no matter what it was. I’d prefer to die than lose my intelligence and especially my memories, and dying might not be so bad anyway.

“I won’t take it,” I told her with resolve, curious what she would do. Of course, as I said that, I realized I should have said I would.

Wanting to see her intentions, I reached into her mind to see. I hate doing this to her. What would I do if I was her? Honestly, I think I’d do the same thing, but I can’t let her die. As much as it hurts to even think about lying to her, I have to give it to her, I heard her think, all within the blink of an eye.

As gently as I could, I pulled out, knowing how I had to handle this. She didn’t seem to want to lie to me, but she was still willing to. I thought this could prove useful to me, though. There was a chance I might be able to use this to my advantage.

“Okay, I won’t make you,” she said, but I could see the deception in her face. She wouldn’t have made a good poker player.

“I’ll take the medicine,” I lied, feeling really bad for doing what I hated so much, but I had to.

“Thank you, Melanie.” The look of relief at my sudden change of mind was the kind of thing you could write about.

“I need to go to class now, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. In the meantime, Aliyah will be here when she can,” she said, gently squeezing my shoulder and then leaving. I almost shivered from her touch, not liking it at all.

She wasn’t gone long before a man came in, who looked like a doctor. “Hello, Melanie.”

“Good morning.” After our exchanged greeting, he sat down on a stool and started working on a computer terminal.

“You have two cracked and three broken ribs, as well as a lot of bruising in your chest. I would bet that hurts a lot.” He was trying to be friendly.

“It’s not that bad,” I replied, although that did explain the pain I’d been having in my chest.

“So you’re one of those that can take it.”

“I guess so.”

“Well, we’re going to give you some pain medicine and something for the bruising, to help you breathe better, along with the anti-inflammatory medicine.”

“Okay.”

“There’s to be no exercise for three weeks and then only limited for three more. I’ll likely prescribe physical therapy at the end of the first three weeks, to help you get back into the swing of things. If you have any problems, let one of us know and we’ll get you fixed right up.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

He started to place a hand on my head, probably to rub it in a fatherly way, but I pulled back. He looked at me oddly for a moment, but didn’t try again.

A few minutes later, a woman nurse came in with a small paper cup containing several pills. Knowing I did need most of it, I reached into her mind to see what they were. Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure even then. All I managed to get was the names of the pills, which meant nothing to me, unless I wanted to probe really deep, and that was something I wouldn’t do, regardless of my feelings about this place. I still wasn’t as unfeeling as they wanted me to be. As usual, I was weak.

Hoping this would work, I made the motions of taking the pills and drinking water with them. However, as I showed her an image of me putting the pills in my mouth, I let them fall onto the bed. I hoped she wouldn’t check that area for anything, if the images even worked.

The question was, what was I going to do with the pills? Maybe Aliyah could help me. No, they’d know pretty quick, since they already read her mind all the time. There had to be another way.

Closing my eyes, I sent a probe out, hunting for Aliyah. Considering what time it was, she would be in science, but I didn’t know where her science class was. My caution abandoned, I sent my probe in every classroom, briefly touching every mind, not caring if anyone noticed. Finally, I found her. I was really worried I wouldn’t be able to do this and I was a little shocked that no one seemed to notice, now that I thought about it. At least, I didn’t think anyone noticed.

I envisioned knocking on that door again, and this time the response was almost immediate. “Melanie?”

“Yeah, who else would it be?”

“No one, I guess, but I have to ask. What’s up? You’re not dead again, are you?” That almost made me laugh.

“No, I’m not dead. I need you to do me a favor, though. Mrs. Wilde said you’re going to come see me at lunch time. Would you ask her if I can get a computer? I’m getting bored.”

“Okay.”

“Thanks. See you later.” I made sure to sound happy, which I wasn’t. I then closed the connection, making an effort to be slow and gentle.

About an hour later, Aliyah came in, along with Mrs. Wilde. “Here you go,” she said, handing me a computer case, which was what I really wanted.

I made a show of pulling out the computer and placing it on my meal table. “How long will I be here?”

“Probably two more days,” Mrs. Wilde replied.

“Why so long.” That was way too long.

“Because they want to make sure there’s nothing else going on. Your heart did stop, after all.”

“But I’m better now. You said the medicine would fix the problem.”

“It won’t fix the problem. What they’re hoping is that it will give them time to figure out how to fix the problem.” That was new to me. She didn’t say that part before. I was sure of it. She’d deceived me, yet again.

The doctor was willing to risk my mind, for just a chance they could fix it. If they couldn’t then I’d be an idiot by the time I died and wouldn’t even remember my parents. If they figured it out, I’d still be dumb and wouldn’t remember my family ever again. No, I’d made the right choice, not that dying was that scary anymore.

“That should have everything you need,” she said, smiling.

“In a few days, I might not need it anymore,” I told her, not able to stop myself from taking the jab. The look on her face was almost like I’d slapped her.

“Don’t talk like that.” There was a lot of emotion in her voice.

“I’m not talking about dying. I mean I might be too dumb to use it.” Seeing the expression on her face, that might have been worse than my previous poke. Her expression showed a lot of conflict and doubt.

Aliyah looked completely confused, so I decided to give her the truth. “They put me on a medicine to stop the problem in my brain, but it has a couple of bad side effects. It can make me dumb and make me forget stuff, lots of stuff, like everything important kind of stuff.”

“There’s only a chance of those side effects, and it’s a small chance,” Mrs. Wilde said.

“But there is a chance.”

“Yes, there is,” she admitted, and looked really upset.

“What happens if you don’t take it?” Aliyah asked.

“They think I’ll be dead in two or three days, but it might not work anyway,” I said, now messing with the computer, like dying was no big deal. I supposed it wasn’t a big deal to me anymore.

“What!? You are taking it, aren’t you?”

“I don’t want to.” I was ashamed that I was being deceptive, which was exactly what I was unhappy with Mrs. Wilde about. The one thing that allowed me to do it was that I needed to, but she didn’t. Actually, I wouldn’t have to if it wasn’t for them.

Once they were satisfied that I was going to take the medicine, Aliyah pulled out her math book. “Mel, would you help me with my math?” I couldn’t believe she asked that with Mrs. Wilde sitting right there. I almost laughed when Mrs. Wilde raised an eyebrow at the request.

“Sure, what are you working on?” I asked, interested to see how Mrs. Wilde would react and kind of liking the potential hit to her ego. I really was getting evil since coming here, even if I was pathetically weak.

She showed me the book, which was open to linear functions. This stuff was easy. I had no doubt she’d get this pretty fast, once it started to click. I began explaining it to her, with Mrs. Wilde watching us. That made me a little uncomfortable no matter how I felt about Mrs. Wilde, but Aliyah asked me to, so I did it.

By the end of her lunch time, Aliyah had almost mastered functions, and I’d even touched a little on some of the more advanced aspects of them. She understood it all, like it was nothing.

“Aliyah, you head on to class and I’ll see you there in a minute,” Mrs. Wilde said, as Aliyah headed out the door.

“Melanie, have you ever considered becoming a teacher?”

“No, ma’am,” I replied, curious where she was going with this.

“You should. Watching you explain that to her was impressive.” My attempt to make her feel bad had failed and she even turned it around on me.

“So, if not a teacher, what do you want to be?”

“Well, I wanted to be a ballerina, but that’ll never happen,” I replied, making her look concerned. It was mean, and I knew it, but I was irritated and feeling really rotten about what my intentions had been,so I did it again.

“You could be, if you want to.” She was trying to lift my spirits, but I was grumpy, and angry, and a lot of other stuff. I didn’t want to have my spirits lifted.

“I can’t, but thank you for telling me I could.” She looked at me for a moment, like she wanted to argue with me, but didn’t.

“Well, I need to get to class. If you need anything let the nurse know. I’ll come back to see how you’re doing after classes, and Aliyah will probably be back this afternoon as well,” she said, smiling at me.

“Thank you, Mrs. Wilde.”

“You’re welcome.”

Needing to go to the bathroom, I pressed the button for the nurse. She was there in less than a minute. “I need to go to the bathroom. Is it alright if I get up?”

“Sure, just be careful of the tube attached to your arm. There aren’t any bags connected, so you should be fine.”

“Thank you.”

I waited for her to leave and then grabbed the pills, taking them with me into the bathroom. I dropped them in the toilet, and then did what I really did go there to do. I had to flush a couple of times, as the pills floated and didn’t want to go down. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get rid of them this easily and had intended to put them in the computer bag if I had to, but I also wanted the computer just to keep what little was left of my sanity.

Unfortunately, my chest was hurting, but I couldn’t ask for any pain medicine. That would let them know pretty quick that I hadn’t taken the medicine they were giving me. I’d suffered more pain than this, so I could take it.

They would eventually going to figure out that I wasn’t taking the medicine, and there was no way I could stop that. All I could do was delay it. As a matter of fact, they’d figure it out by my brain scans when they took the next ones or when I died, whichever came first.

Sitting alone in the hospital room, unfortunately gave me a lot of time to think, and the thoughts that came the most were images of James. It was a constant stream, and now they included the boys from the bowling alley too.

I couldn’t take it anymore, and I’d only been there part of a day. I pressed the button for the nurse, who came almost immediately. “Yes, is anything wrong?”

“No, ma’am. I wanted to ask when I can leave. I’d really like to go back to my room. Please.”

“Let me ask the doctor.”

A few minutes later, the doctor came in. “I understand you would like to return to your room.”

“Yes, sir,” I replied, very meekly.

“We need to do some more tests, but if you promise to be here for them, I don’t see why you can’t go back to your room, as long as you take it easy.”

“I’ll be careful,” I promised.

“Alright. We want you here tomorrow at 4:00 in the afternoon for those tests. If we need anything else, someone will come get you.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“Nurse, give her the bottles for her medicine,” he said, over his shoulder.

“Yes, sir.”

“Promise me you’ll take your medicine as instructed,” he said, looking very serious.

“I’ll do what I have to,” I replied, feeling the deception, even if the words were technically true.

The nurse returned a few minutes after the doctor left, handing me three bottles, none of which had the medicine name on them or what they were for. On all three were instructions for when to take them, and nothing else, which meant they didn’t trust me. I put all three bottles in my computer bag, as the nurse told me how to take them, in spite of the fact that the instructions were on the bottles.

I was hoping the pain meds would say ‘as needed’, or something like that, but they didn’t. They’d made sure I couldn’t tell the difference.

When we were finally done, I got my clothes on and headed out, with the doctor and nurses watching me leave. I put all of my energy into looking as normal as possible so they wouldn’t make me stay any longer. Once I was out of the hospital, it was much slower going, since I was in a lot of pain and I had almost no energy. Every step was a challenge.

When I got to my room, it was about time for Aliyah to be done with Mental Preparedness. Hopefully, she’d come to the room before heading to the hospital, because I didn’t have the energy to call out to her. It was everything I could do to make it to the room, and I was completely exhausted.

Falling on my bed, I was asleep before I even realized it. “Mel,” I heard, feeling someone shaking me. I opened my eyes, and saw Aliyah looking down at me with a worried frown.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You were moving a lot and making funny sounds.”

“I was probably just having a dream,” I replied, which was true. I always had dreams, they just weren’t good dreams.

“You hungry?”

“Not really, but I’ll go with you.”

“You’re always hungry.”

“They fed me in the hospital.” Yet another lie. It was becoming a habit, and one I really didn’t like.

We got to the cafeteria, me sitting at a table when we got there and Aliyah heading to one of the food lines. While I tried to recover from the walk, she got her food. After she was done, we headed to the game room, where she bowled while I watched. It was obvious that it wasn’t as much fun for her, but there was nothing I could do about it.

We finally headed back to our room, my chest killing me, but my exhaustion being worse than the pain. When we got back I saw a note on my bed.

“Melanie, I was not able to get any of the items you requested. I was informed that all religious observance will be done in the chapel at the prescribed times and in the prescribed manner. I’m sorry, Mrs. Wilde”

So, they wouldn’t let me worship the way I’d been taught. Exhausted and in a lot of pain, I went to my desk and pulled out several pieces of paper. I drew a picture of the different items, my drawings being pathetic, considering how badly my hands were shaking. Putting them all together in the manner that it was supposed to be done, if I had the right items, I performed the service with Aliyah watching me. Once I was done, she asked questions about it, which I tried to answer. I wasn’t sure I was even supposed to do the service myself, but hopefully God would forgive me if I messed up.

When she was done asking questions, I dropped onto my bed, not bothering to change clothes. I went to sleep almost immediately. “Mel, you need to take your pills.”

“Okay, Momma,” I replied, before I realized it was Aliyah.

When I finally woke up, she handed me the pills and a cup of water. There was no way I could force the images into her mind like I did the nurse. Not only was I not sure it’d work with her, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not entirely acting clumsy, I dropped the water cup, spilling it all on the floor. Trying to bend down really did hurt, so I didn’t have to act.

“I’ll clean it up. You go get some water and take your pills.”

“Thank you,” I replied, heading out the door, thankful that actually worked the way I wanted and feeling guilty for even more deception.

When I returned, I didn’t have the pills. Going to my bed, I laid back down and went to sleep only moments after my head hit my pillow. Just like the first night, I woke up almost every half hour sweating and shaking from the dreams of James and all of the other boys that were doing bad things to me. As before, I always drifted back off within a few minutes to start it all again.

I saw Gary being taken away by the police, and he looked at me, with a very disappointed frown. “If you hadn’t done this to me, you wouldn’t be suffering as bad as you are. I tried to be nice to you. Now, your Daddy and I will be killed, all because you were mean to me.”

“I’m sorry, I wish I could take it back! I’m sorry!” I screamed, wishing I could undo what I had done. They were taking him away, and I was helpless to make things right.

“I’m sorry!” I yelled, over and over.

“Melanie, wake up,”

“I’m awake, Momma,” I replied, imagining Momma waking me up, like she did so many times, something I’d never have again. That thought brought me fully awake. When my eyes opened, Aliyah was sitting on the edge of my bed.

“You were talking in your sleep.”

“What was I saying,” I asked, rubbing my eyes.

“You were saying sorry, over and over.”

“What was I apologizing for,” I asked, worried what she might have heard.

“I don’t know, but you sounded pathetic, like if you had killed your Dad and wanted your Mom to forgive you. That’s how bad it sounded.”

“What time is it?” I asked, wanting to forget the dream.

“It’s almost 6:00, why?”

“I’ll go take my shower,” I told her, standing up and heading for my dresser.

“Will you be alright?”

“I have a couple of broken ribs, but I’m not totally crippled.”

“Just asking.” I grabbed my stuff, along with my morning pills and headed to the bathroom, where I quickly got rid of the pills.

In the shower, I turned the water up as hot as it would go and scrubbed like I did that first day. The filth inside me hadn’t gone away at all. If anything, I felt worse than I had before, because I was lying to my best and only friend and also to the one adult here that actually wanted to help me. Of course, she was still one of the enemy and I still hated her, but she actually did care.

So I scrubbed even more and when I got tired I’d rest, then scrub some more. By the time I really couldn’t scrub anymore and my hands were cramping, I sat on the floor with my knees pulled up, shaking. I felt like I wanted to cry, but there were no tears, and I didn’t want to cry anyway. The images were still playing in my mind, the ones that James put there, modified by my screwed up mind. Among those was the dream with Gary being taken away, accusing me of killing him and Daddy. I was a mess, and I knew it.

“Mel, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m coming out now,” I replied, wiping the water from my face. I turned the water off and grabbed my towel, heading to get dressed.

As I was drying, Aliyah watched me with an odd look on her face. “What?” I asked, finally unable to stop myself.

“You’re scrubbing your skin off. That’s gotta hurt.”.

Ignoring her, I finished getting dressed in my normal uniform and we headed to morning exercise. “Good morning, Melanie,” Coach Hammond said, when I walked in.

“You don’t look ready to exercise,” he observed.

“I’m not allowed to,” I replied, allowing my disappointment into my response. It was something I loved, so my disappointment was real.

“You will again soon,” he said, smiling and starting to place a hand on my shoulder. As his hand came close, I moved away, trying to make it look natural, but I was very uncomfortable with anybody touching me, especially men. I wasn’t sure if my acting was good enough, but he didn’t say anything about it and moved on.

I sat through morning exercise just watching everyone else work, wishing I could too. After exercise, I followed Aliyah back to our room and waited while she got ready. We then headed to breakfast. I got a plate with some scrambled eggs and a couple strips of bacon, which I ate some of. Since I wasn’t very hungry, I didn’t eat much.

Mrs. Schmoltz looked surprised to see me when she came in. “Melanie, should you be here so soon?”

“Yes, ma’am. The doctor said I could as long as I don’t overdo it.”

“Alright, but take it easy,” she said, and then started the class. Today was test day, which I had completely forgotten, if I even knew it. All the days were becoming a blur to me. When I got my copy of the test, I scribbled my name on the top, scribbled on some of the blanks and turned it in, not caring that I just failed a test for the first time in my life.

Government was the same, except I didn’t even remember going there, and this was without taking the medicine. I wasn’t even sure if there was a test in there.

I was walking to Physics, my anxiety building every step of the way. If I could imagine what a prisoner heading to the gas chamber felt like, this would have been it. When I got there, I headed to my normal seat and waited. I heard very quiet comments from some of the girls, “She’s James’ new toy” or the simple one word comment that hurt the most, “slut”. Was I a slut now?

As Mrs. Warple gave instructions for the test, all I could think about was that comment and replay the images in my mind, over and over. It seemed worse, here in this room. I did the same thing with her test that I did with Mrs. Schmoltz’s and I think with Mr. Ratzinger’s, except I wrote “I am a slut” in all of the blanks.

When Physics was finally over, I ran out of the class, heading for my room. I laid on my bed, curled up in the corner with my knees drawn up. “Are you okay?” Aliyah asked, bringing me out of my ball.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Physics was just harder than usual.”

“If you’re sure. Let’s get lunch,” she said, her face brightening.

We went to the cafeteria, and I got a grilled chicken salad with Italian dressing. I ate a bite or two of the chicken and a little of the lettuce and we headed to math. “Are you alright, Melanie?” Mrs. Wilde asked, when she saw me at my computer.

“Yes, ma’am. The doctor said I could return to classes, as long as I don’t overdo it,” I replied, feeling like a recording again.

“As long as the doctor is okay with it then.” She began lecturing the class, and I started trying to find something to do, which was difficult. Trying to remember the earlier part of the day, I thought she might be the only teacher that hadn’t given a test that day.

Knowing there wasn’t anything that would capture my interest anymore, and also because I couldn’t get the horrible images out of my mind, I found an online book site and started reading teen fiction. I hoped that it might allow a small escape for my screwed up mind.

“That doesn’t look like math,” I heard, as I was almost done with the book.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Wilde. I couldn’t find anything worth studying,” I told her, starting to shake.

“Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble,” she told me, with a reassuring hand on my shoulder, which I wished I could shrug off.

“How long have you been reading this story?”

“I found it at the beginning of class,” I replied, calming down, but still shaking a little.

“You read the entire novel during this class period,” she asked, shock on her face.

“Yes, ma’am,” I replied, now realizing that the class was empty.

“You know, I enjoyed that book as well. I know, I’m an adult and I read teen fiction,” she said, with feigned embarrassment. “Of course, it took me a bit longer to read it. What happened to Dr. Stuben’s paper? Did you get tired of it, or decide not to work on it anymore.”

“I finished it.” Even though my mind was a mess, i was pretty sure I had told her that.

“That’s right,” she replied, remembering me telling her that I had. “Did you write the analysis we talked about?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said, pulling out my work and handing it to her. She glanced through it for a minute before lowering it.

“I’ll read through this and let you know if you need to do anymore work on it, but I doubt you will. Do you have this on your computer?”

“Yes, ma’am. It’s in the Stuben folder on the desktop.”

“I’ll get a soft copy, so I can look at that as well.”

“Well, you girls better get to your next class,” she said, and we both grabbed our things and left. We arrived at Martial Arts and I approached Mr. Braun.

“Mr. Braun, I’m not allowed to do any exercise until I’m healed,” I informed him.

“I’m well aware of that. You need practice more than anyone else, and you get a free ride. Get out of here and don’t come back until you can fight,” he said, looking disgusted with me. I suppose he should have been, but I really didn’t care. I didn’t really care about anything anymore.

I left and wandered through the halls, no particular destination in mind. Somehow, I ended up in that old lab, and slid into my little hidey hole, where I stayed until I had to go to my next class.

When I got to Mental Preparedness, once done with our study hall, Mr. Miller looked at me, shook his head and walked over. “Melanie, until you’re off of your medicine, there’s no need for you to come here. I hate losing you as a student, even if it is temporary, but this will be a waste of your time.”

“May I stay anyway? I might pick up something from your lessons.” That was more true than he knew.

“Not a bad idea. If you want to stay, you’re certainly welcome to,” he said, and then walked off to start working with the class.

This gave me a chance to watch everyone without interruption so I could study exactly what they did. I could also pay more attention to his instructions for skills he was teaching, which could be helpful for me, if I managed to live long enough.

During class, I had one probe attempt to enter my mind, but it kind of slid off my mind without entering. I managed to hide my thoughts anyway. I was actually surprised that Mr. Miller didn’t use this opportunity to read me, but he didn’t.

That evening at dinner, I performed my Shabbat service in the cafeteria, almost daring them to stop me. I had been doing them in my room, but I was feeling particularly rebellious at that point, which was all the emotion I could feel at the time, other than the normal anger and hate. No one said anything to me, although a number of kids and especially teachers looked at me funny when I spoke Hebrew in the middle of the cafeteria, not trying to keep it quiet in any way. If anything, I was louder than I needed to be.

The weekend went by uneventfully, the images always in my mind, and my skin getting more and more damaged from my constant scrubbing, but I didn’t care. It let me feel something.

Each evening after dinner, I headed into the old section of the school, back to that old lab to get into my hole. I would sit there with my knees drawn up and rock back and forth, trying to sort out the mess that my mind had become. Aliyah hadn’t said anything about me not hanging out with her anymore, but I could tell it was bothering her.

I sat on the floor like I was crying, but there were no more tears. It was as if the grey fog had taken over my mind, and my emotions. I simply didn’t care anymore. The world didn’t matter. I was a slut, James’ toy and I’d never see my Momma, Daddy or even my brother again.

Even if I escaped, I knew I couldn’t go back home. These people would go there first, knowing that was where I’d try to go. Not only that, but it’d put them in danger.

As that new reality came to me, the tears started welling up in my eyes. The more I fought them, the more they flowed. I was sobbing before any other thoughts finally intruded into my consciousness.

The thought that finally came was the need to escape. Yes, I would still try and escape, just to deny them access to me and the curse that I had, but I wouldn’t go where they expected me to go.

Oddly, that was a reason for me to live. They’d know I was alive but wouldn’t be able to get me. I laughed a little at that thought, but only a little. Then the laugh built and I found myself laughing incredibly loudly at the thought of denying them...me. The laugh wasn’t the type of laugh people liked to hear, though.

Physics on Monday messed me up all over again. Sitting on my stool, I didn’t even notice when James came in. “Get up and bend over for punishment.”

I followed his command without question, and barely noticed when he puts his hand on my bottom. From there, my mind blanked. I know he didn’t stop for a little while, but I couldn’t remember any of it.

The first hit slammed me against the table, sending pain shooting through my chest and my face slammed into the shelf at the front of the table. Oddly, the second didn’t hurt that much and I almost didn’t notice the third.

“James! What do you think you’re doing!?” I heard Mrs. Warple shout.

“Administering punishment.”

“You were told that you were not to do so any longer, without first going through me. Submit yourself for punishment with the Dean, now. For the first time, I heard anger in her voice.

Then it hit me, almost as bad as his fist had in the past. He was close to me and he touched me...again, and...there. The images hit me like a hammer, and I ran out of the room, straight to the bathroom, puking into the toilet for what seemed like forever. Each heave sent a massive wave of pain through my chest, making me see stars. The pain finally became too much and I blacked out.

When I woke up, Mrs. Warple was kneeling over me, trying to help me up. My instincts took over and I rapidly tried to crawl away to escape her, even though I was on my back in a bathroom stall.

“Melanie, are you alright?” she asked, surprised by my reaction.

“Don’t touch me!” I screamed, knowing I was hysterical.

She started to come closer, and I was paralyzed with fear, shaking violently in the corner of the bathroom stall, between the toilet and the stall wall, trying to get away from her. I felt like a trapped animal. My chest hurt, my head felt like I’d cracked my skull and my emotions were totally out of control. Images of James doing really dirty things to me, right in the front of the class, were running through my head in a flood.

“Wait here and I’ll get some help,” she said, backing out, rather than coming any closer. When she left, I was finally able to move again, and knew I needed to get away. I was desperate to get away.

Carefully, I looked out of the bathroom stall, and seeing that she was gone, I made my break for it. I ran out heading to the old lab, where I got into my hole. Pulling my knees to my chin, I sat there shaking for a long time, unable to control my body. The tears flowed without any resistance this time.

The time finally came when I knew I needed to return to the world and my friend who was probably worried about me. So I climbed out of my hole, washed the emotions from my face and headed to my room. I was surprised when I saw that it was past bedtime. Somewhere in my mind, there was the thought that I might get in trouble for missing room check, but like everything else, I really didn’t care.

Aliyah lifted her head when I turned the light on. “Melanie, where’ve you been? Are you okay?” she asked, getting out of bed and coming over to me. I moved away from her as she got close, not wanting anyone to come close to me.

“I’m okay, just lost track of time.”

“You better let someone know you’re back. They’ve been looking for you all day,” she told me. She had an odd look at my reaction, but didn’t try to come close again.

“I didn’t see anyone,” I told her, not that I really looked. Why had they been looking for me, and all day at that? Probably because they were worried about losing their experiment.

Rather than wait, I left our room before she could say anything else. I turned the corner, heading to Mrs. Wilde’s classroom, not sure why I was going there since she wouldn’t be there. As I turned, I ran right into a tall man dressed like a soldier or policeman.

I wasn’t sure which he looked more like, in his black outfit. I was pretty sure I’d seen him before, but I couldn’t make my mind come up with where or when. As I ran into him, I fell down and started crawling backward to get away, as fast as my hands and legs coldmove. He looked at me for a moment and then stepped back a little.

“Melanie Brager,” the man said.

“Yes, sir,” I replied, moving away a little bit further.

“You need to come with me.”

“I was coming to let you know I was back. I’m sorry if I worried anyone,” I told him, sounding far away even to myself.

“I was told to bring you if we found you,” he said.

“Yes, sir,” I replied, making sure to stay as far away from him as possible.

He led me to a classroom near Mrs. Warple’s, where there were a lot of people sitting at tables and looking at maps that had to be the building. As he led me to a seat, beside one of the tables with the maps, I was able to confirm that it was the building, and I knew I could find my way anywhere in here from that point on, at least anyplace shown on the map. I also mapped out some shortcuts to different places that I normally went to.

“Everyone else out,” the Headmaster ordered, as we walked in. Once the room was clear of everyone, but himself, Dean Hargrove, Mrs. Wilde and the soldier, he looked directly at me with anger in his eyes. I couldn’t help but flinch at the look he gave me, and I began shaking.

“Where have you been, young lady?” he asked very sternly, as he focused on me.

“I’m sorry sir, I was walking and got lost,” I replied, and I could feel myself shaking even worse.

“Why were you walking in the old section of the school?”

“Sir, may I handle this?” Mrs. Wilde asked as she came up behind him.

“Alright, but I decide the discipline necessary for this infraction and her failure to call me by my proper title,” he stated.

“Sir, we can talk about that in a little while. Right now, there are some questions we need answers to, that she will not give if you scare her to death,” she told him. Of course, I was already scared to death, or at least I thought I was, or maybe I should have been. My shaking was getting worse and it was hurting my chest more.

“Melanie, don’t worry about that. What happened? What made you run off the way you did?” she asked, kneeling down in front of me. As she got close, I brought my knees up and tried to shrink back in the chair.

“Nothing. I got scared for no reason and was irresponsible. I’m sorry.”

“Is she lying again?” the Headmaster exclaimed, his comment sounding almost irrational, even to me. I did wonder when I’d lied that they knew about. Oh well, I guess it didn’t matter.

“Would you let me handle this?” Mrs. Wilde exclaimed, looking at him with a very displeased expression.

“If that’s so, then why are you shaking? You’re obviously terrified of something,” she said.

“I’m just scared of my punishment, which I deserve,” I replied, although I didn’t really care about the punishment anymore. She looked at me for a moment and then stood up, walked away, and motioned for the Headmaster, the dean and the soldier to come with her.

“Sir, we can’t punish her. I don’t know what caused it, but she ran away because she was frightened. If you punish her, it will only do harm. There are times to punish, but this definitely is not one of them,” she stated.

“She will be punished. She has put this entire facility on lockdown for the better part of a day and the only way we can make them understand the seriousness of that is to punish them,” he said.

“I strongly encourage you to reconsider, sir,” she said.

“She will be punished,” he stated, unwilling to bend.

“Can I at least administer it, then,” she asked, shocking me.

“No, Dean Hargrove will issue institutional punishment. I suspect that you would go too easy on her. You are becoming affected by a subject and that is unacceptable. You know better than that,” he replied.

Oddly, his referring to me as a subject didn’t bother me like it used to. Another thing that didn’t matter to me anymore. I guess I’d finally accepted that I was one of their lab rats.

“Are we going to get anything else out of her,” he asked.

“No, I don’t think so,” she replied, obviously unhappy.

“Dean Hargrove, do your duty,” he commanded.

“Miss Brager, come with me please,” the huge man commanded me. I got up and followed him to the single student desk in the room, followed by Mrs. Wilde and the Headmaster. As we got there, Dean Hargrove took a paddle from a nail on the wall. It was odd, and I was wondering if I was hallucinating, but Dean Hargrove looked just like James. Maybe it was actually James, and I had finally gone completely crazy.

“Bend forward, please,” he told me. I knew what James expected, so I bent over and lifted my skirt for him. “What are you doing?” he asked, shock evident in his voice, which confused me. This was what I was supposed to do, but I guess he wanted to lift my skirt instead. That’s what James always did and now I’d messed it up for him.

James liked my panties down, though. Maybe that was what he wanted, and maybe I should make it easier for him. Maybe I wouldn’t get hurt anymore, if I just did what he wanted. With that thought, I began to lower my underwear.

“What is she doing!?” he exclaimed.

“I’m bending over, like you want,” I replied.

“Melanie, were you punished in Physics today?” Mrs. Wilde asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” I replied.

“Did James punish you, as normal?” she asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” I replied, again.

“He always lifts your skirt when he punishes you, doesn’t he?” she asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” I replied, yet again.

“And he usually puts his hand on your bottom when he does this, as well, doesn’t he?” she asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” I replied, one more time.

This had been like a recording, but then it hit me what she asked and what I said. The real world slammed back home, with a vengeance. I fell to my knees, knowing I gave her more than I should have, my mind beginning to work again. I almost let myself cry, before shutting my emotions down with an iron fist. My knees hurt when I hit the floor, but I barely noticed.

“You see, sir, there’s trauma associated with her actions. She can’t be held accountable for them, especially in light of the fact that she returned on her own. There was no attempt to escape,” she said.

“She will receive punishment for attempted escape, with her skirt left down,” he stated. Knowing I still deserved it, I stood back up and leaned over, waiting.

There were five successive hits on the back of my legs. Each one was harder than the one before, but my brain had disengaged again and I only barely noticed. When he was done, he motioned for me to stand back up.

“Do you understand why you were disciplined?” he asked.

“Yes, sir. I was a very bad girl and bad girls should be punished,” I responded.

“What did you do wrong?” he asked, with an odd look at me.

“I ran away,” I told him.

“And will you do it again?” he asked.

“Probably, because I’m a bad girl,” I said, being honest. He just stared at me.

“May I leave now, sir?” I asked, before he could say anything else.

“Yes, go to your room. Mr. Stone will escort you.” The soldier walked with me out of the classroom and didn’t say anything until we were a fair distance away.

“You were very brave,” he finally said.

“No, sir. I just accepted my punishment for being a bad girl,” I explained.

“Well, I think you accepted it bravely,” he told me.

“Thank you, sir, but I’m not brave. I’m weak,” I replied, only loosely aware of him even talking to me, more concerned with keeping distance between us.

Stone returned within ten minutes of leaving, no one speaking the entire time. For some reason, his return opened the floodgate for Rebecca.

“Sir, what you just did was cruel,” she exclaimed.

“You are out of line,” he retorted.

“No, I’m not. That child is suffering and you made her suffer more for no good reason. That borders on torture,” she continued.

“If you continue this, I will remove you for insubordination,” he told her.

“Go ahead. I dare you. Then we can have a proper investigation of what has actually happened with regard to Melanie Brager. I strongly suspect there will be some items that won’t look very good for you, sir. I also suspect the Neuroscience department will not look kindly on your actions, either,” she added.

“Are you threatening me?” he asked, his face beginning to get red, but a bit of fear evident as well.

“No, sir. Just stating facts,” she replied.

“You had better remember your place, or I will remove you from this facility,” he said, and left the room.

“Did you look into her face?” Stone asked, once the Headmaster was gone.

“No, why?” she asked, her anger still very apparent.

“She has a look I’ve seen before, where there’s basically no one home. I can’t describe it any other way. She’s barely a part of the world around her, and her responses were rather unusual, as well.”

“Is this something we need to worry about,” the Dean asked.

“It can be. Many, maybe most that get that look eventually attempt suicide,” he said.

“And I just spanked her,” he stated, shock in his voice.

“Sir, you don’t know the situation,” Rebecca reassured him.

“Explain it to me, then.”

“Since arriving at Oakmont, she’s received a larger than normal dose of discipline, yet she’s one of the most polite and respectful children I’ve seen in some time. In addition, she was placed in a high school science class, and apparently is seen as a threat, or maybe a conquest by them, particularly James Boyle. He sexually assaulted her several times, the last being particularly bad. The reason she ran away today was because he assaulted her again, in class, in front of the other students.”

“At least now I understand why you tried to stop it.”

“What you saw is just a symptom of the problem. In addition to all of that, students have discovered that it causes her pain to send a telepathic link into her mind, so they’ve been constantly needling her. To top it off, she has an anomaly in her brain that’s likely going to kill her, possibly in a matter of days,” she said.

“Dear God!” he exclaimed. “Could that look you described explain why she didn’t even flinch when I spanked her?” he asked Stone.

“It very well might. From what I know of the condition, they basically become detached from the world around them. They still hear and interact to some degree, but everything’s muted. Did you notice the impact to her knees when she fell to the floor.”

“She didn’t even notice it, but her knees were bleeding when she stood up,” the dean said.

“What I’d like to know is what got her attention enough to evoke that response. Something got her notice, and it wasn’t something she liked. She almost looked like she wanted to cry for a second, but she suppressed it,” Stone said, his face taking on the look of someone in deep thought.

“You were asking her leading questions, the final being about James touching her,” he recalled, looking at Rebecca.

“Yes, I noticed she seemed a bit distracted, and decided to use that. I’ve found that I can usually wrangle a little information out of her when she’s distracted and isn’t quite as guarded,” she said.

“This time, it may have been a mistake,” he told her.

“Why?” she asked.

“I think whatever happened today in Physics may have been more than she wanted to acknowledge and your questions forced it back to the front of her mind,” he said, pulling out his phone and dialing it.

“Oh Lord. I hadn’t thought of that,” she admitted, as he concentrated on his phone.

“Mr. Miller, I need a favor from you,” he said, and waited for a moment.

“Would you read one of Mrs. Warple’s Physics students concerning what happened with Melanie Brager today? When you’re done, would you please join us in room 237?” he asked. After a pause he hung up.

“You wouldn’t have known, without being familiar with the condition,” he said, once he’d hung up the phone.

“That doesn’t excuse it. I’ve done that to her several times, and assumed I could get away with it. I guess I need to let her keep her secrets,” she replied.

“Is this girl that secretive?” the Dean asked.

“Yes. She wouldn’t admit that she’d been sexually assaulted. Of course, now I know why, and I hate to admit I agree with her,” Rebecca said.

“Why is that?” he asked.

“She told me that her attackers wouldn’t be punished, and she was right. Even though she didn’t say this, I’m pretty sure she also felt that it would make her situation worse, and she was right about that as well,” she stated.

“For her to have that much paranoia, in spite of the fact that she turned out to be right, there has to be something that caused it before she came here,” the Dean said, making both of the others stare at him. “You know, I’m more intelligent than I might look. I’m here for a reason, other than as a disciplinarian.”

“By the way, Stone, where’s her background check? I can’t find it in her file,” he asked.

“It hasn’t come in yet,” Stone answered.

“When was it initiated and by whom,” he asked, looking at Stone with what appeared to be irritation.

“It was initiated on September 8th by Emily Trulin, sir,” Stone replied.

“Really? That’s before the girl arrived. Does the Headmaster know this? His previous comments imply that he doesn’t,” he asked, now looking very thoughtful.

“No, sir. At least, I don’t think so,” Stone admitted.

“Let’s leave it that way. No sense in getting Emily in trouble, unnecessarily,” he said, rubbing his chin in thought. “So, if memory serves me, it normally takes two to three days to get a completed status update from the FBI, with the actual report coming within three days after that, correct?” he asked.

“Yes, sir,” Stone said, not sure where the Dean was headed.

“This girl’s background check has been running for, hmm, 35 days now. I recall that we have never allowed a child in this school when the background check took more than five days for a status update. Is that also correct?” he asked.

“Yes, sir,” Stone said.

“Good, my memory is better than I suspected. Now, that amount of time doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything to be concerned with, but the precedent should alarm anyone who knows what we are and what we’re about. I know it sure scares the hell out of me,” he said, and stood staring into space for a moment before focusing back on Stone.

“When that background check arrives, I want to be the first to see it, although I would be alright with Rebecca being there with us. No one else is to know about it, until we see it first. Understood?”

“Yes, sir,” Stone replied.

Mike walked in a few minutes later, with an unhappy expression, one they all thought looked like anger. “What’s wrong?” Rebecca asked as he stopped, staring at them all.

“I think I should ask that as well,” he replied.

“Melanie ran away today and received institutional punishment for attempted escape,” she began.

“That ass!” he exclaimed, more animated than she’d ever seen him.

“Mike, what’s wrong?” she asked again.

“James sexually assaulted her right there in class, in front of everyone. He had her facing the table, standing behind her, put his hands on her ass and then…,” but he trailed off, his anger seething on his face. Finally, he continued, “From the images I saw, it looked like she was completely docile, and he may have actually put his hands inside her underwear, but I don’t know,” he said, making all of the others look at each other.

He noted the exchange of looks but continued. “Margaret finally noticed and called him out on it, but it was too late. Melanie seems to have come out of whatever paralysis had her and ran out of the room. What was that look for?” he then asked, having scanned each of their faces a moment.

“She was in a similar state when she received punishment for running away. Stone said it’s some kind of thing where the person has kind of checked out. It’s not uncommon for people in that state to attempt suicide,” Rebecca explained.

“This girl has been assaulted multiple times and nothing’s been done about it?” Dean Hargrove asked, shock on his face.

“Yes, sir,” Rebecca replied.

“I want to know if anything at all changes in this girl’s life. Do you understand me?” he demanded.

“Yes, sir,” they all said.

Dean Hargrove left, as soon as they replied.

“That was a bit surprising,” Rebecca stated.

“I agree,” Stone replied.

“Did he just take the reins?” she asked.

“I’m not sure, but he definitely seems to be positioning to do so, if that’s his intent,” he responded.

“If he is, should we support him?” she asked.

“I really don’t know, but right now, Raughlin’s not your friend. That much is certain,” he said.

“I suppose you’re right,” she said, becoming thoughtful.

“If there’s nothing else, I think I’m going to go home and begin work on my resignation,” Mike said, and left. Rebecca and Stone stared at his back for a minute before turning to face each other again.

“I would like to give you an update, not that there’s much to report. As you’re aware, she was attacked in Physics again, which is a place I have no eyes, but we now know what happened there. Outside of that, she goes to the old Hammond lab every day. Inside, I have no idea what she’s doing there either, but I’d bet that’s where she was today. I’m not sure why we didn’t look there. That’s my mistake,” he informed her, pausing a moment.

“Prior to the first attack, it appears she always went to dinner and then activities afterward with Aliyah, usually bowling. Since then, she goes to the old lab. She goes to most meals, but isn’t eating much, and many mealtimes, she doesn’t even bother to get food at all. Granted it’s only been a week, but a bad pattern is forming.”

“She’s hurting and I can’t help her. Not only that, she hates me. She hates everyone here, except Aliyah, but especially me,” she said, almost crying.

“There’s a chance she’ll reach out at some point, and if you’re there, you may be able to save her. Until then, there’s nothing you can do other than what you’re already doing,” he said, placing his hand on her shoulder, in a very comforting manner. “In the meantime, I think I’m going to try and find some cameras for that lab. I want to know what she’s doing in there,” he said, worry creasing his brow.

“Is there anything in there she could hurt herself with,? she asked.

“Not unless she wants to. If she wants to, I doubt there’s much we can do to stop her. This is more curiosity, and also to make sure that someone else doesn’t get to her,” he said.

“I hadn’t thought of that,” she replied.

“That’s why you hired me,” he said smiling, an unusual expression for him. “For what it’s worth, I should have them installed tonight,” he told her as they both left the room.

Just as they were about to head different directions he stopped, drawing her attention. “Oh, there’s one other thing I should tell you about. The scouts have discovered a boy in Washington. All records listed him as dead, but apparently, he was just missing, and he’s been living in the forest for six or seven years. It looks like there might be a bit of a fight to get him, but we should have him within a month, if things go well,” he said.

“Any idea of strength, or if any ability has manifested, yet?” she asked.

“What I just told you is about all I know, other than he’s been living in the forest for the past six or seven years. Like I said, he was lost until very recently. There are no parents, but Washington is attempting to exert their authority. From our perspective, the security risk should be minimal, and simply taking him probably wouldn’t raise too many eyebrows, from what I’ve read in my initial reports. We have a team headed there now to see what the situation is on the ground,” he said.

“Thanks for letting me know. Maybe we can do better with him than we have with her,” she replied.

“It’d be hard to do any worse,” he told her.