Forget : A Dark Omegaverse (Unhingedverse)

I’m driving Aisling today, and one of her appointments, on her calendar is with Dr. Alys. I didn’t ask her where we were going as I handed her a muffin and coffee this morning, and simply walked her to Aiden’s SUV.

Valentine’s Day is in three days, and I’m unsure if we’re supposed to make a big deal about it or not. It’s simply another day for our pack, but Aisling is different. I want to do something for it.

I just want to see if anyone else wants in on whatever I decide to do. My job makes me a bit of a recluse since I work alone for so much of it. Now, my life has changed a lot, and I don’t miss it.

I do miss having an excuse to hang out with my pack, even if it was just Domh. We’ve all been very busy the last few months, and we’re on different schedules. It would be nice to have a date together.

“Do you know where you’re going?” Aisling asks, amused.

“Mmhmm,” I say. “First stop is to see Hollis, and then you have an appointment with Dr. Alys.”

“Do I want to know how you know that?” she asks. There’s a smile on her lips as she eats her breakfast and I shrug as I drive.

“I have your calendar on my phone,” I tell her. “Every update is added, so I have a real time plan for what your days look like. This way, you can drink your coffee, eat breakfast, and fully wake up.”

“You’re my hero,” she sighs, surprising me. “They’re all up my ass first thing in the morning. I’m not really a morning person, I just don’t like to admit it to people.”

That explains so much.

“Happy to help,” I murmur, smirking.

The rest of the drive is peaceful, and I can see Aisling waking up. It’s a slow progression from kind of grumpy to aware and in a better mood. When we arrive at Hollis’ place of business, she waves at me as she hops out to talk to her.

Call me an asshole, but I attached a bug to her coat so I can hear her.

“Hey, Aisling. Good to see you. Coffee?” Hollis asks. I pull away from the curb to park, knowing the conversation will continue to transmit.

“I just had some, but thank you,” Aisling says. “I know you wanted to talk about the dating app?”

“Yes!” They walk to the couches set up by the front window, and I watch like the creeper that I am. “I updated the software so no one can clone or alter it. What happened to you will never happen again.”

“I appreciate that just from the perspective of everyone else,” Aisling says. “I’m kind of stuck, but I’m glad to hear other people won’t get kidnapped.”

She feels stuck? Yeah, that doesn’t sit well with me. As I listen to them talk, I text the pack chat.

Me:

We need to do more to show Aisling that she’s important to us. I know we don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day, but should we plan something?

Aiden:

I was thinking about this yesterday when I saw that it was coming up.

Domh:

I’m in, but she won’t like anything in a busy restaurant.

Evan:

The lakes are beautiful right now, it’s just damn cold.

Me:

What about heaters in the bed of your truck with a mattress?

There are bubbles as the guys message back, and I tune back into Aisling and Hollis’ conversation.

“I was talking to an Omega’s Haven resident and they suggested a speed dating event,” Hollis says. “I’ve run a few of them in the past. There will be security, background checks, and it will probably happen in August. What do you think?”

“I really like the idea,” Aisling says, sounding excited. “Who will be invited?”

“We’d offer spots to Omega’s Haven first, and then open it to the community,” Hollis says. “Having multiple ways for people to meet makes sense.”

My lips curve into a smile because it’s a good idea. Hollis is a solid businesswoman.

Evan:

You know what? Yeah, that’ll work. We’ll have to take two cars, but the bed of my truck is eight feet long. It’s enough space for us all.

Aiden:

I really want in on this but…

Me:

No excuses, Aiden.

Aiden:

I’m just trying to respect her boundaries.

“Fuck!” I yell, hitting the steering wheel with the palm of my hand.

He’s right, but I’m beginning to get tired of waiting. The psychotic side of me is peering out, wanting to make things go faster. I want my fucking mate. The bond is only half formed, which means I’m itching to fix it.

I want her bite to claim me, make her mine.

Growling under my breath, I drop my head back as I wait for Aisling to finish. As I hear her saying goodbye, I drive out of the parking lot across the street from her to pick her up.

“Next stop,” I tease her as she settles in the vehicle. Head rolling over to look at me as she clips her seatbelt in, she smiles at me.

“This car reminds me of Aiden,” she sighs. “I can smell him everywhere.”

“Mmhmm,” I say, pulling away from the curb. I’m not saying anything else because I don’t want to fuck this up.

“Is it wrong that sometimes I want to duct tape his damn mouth so I can snuggle with him?” she asks, making me snort in amusement. “I have a feeling you were following his lead, so he’s the one that pisses me off the most.”

“While some of that is true,” I grunt, “we all walked off the cliff of fuckery. It physically hurt to not be able to see you every day, so we stalked your every move instead. Well, everywhere we could access, anyway.”

“Does it hurt now?” Aisling asks, wide eyed. “You might see me less than when you were stalking me, unless you’re the one driving me around.”

“We’ve all been really busy, but it would be a lie if I told you no,” I sigh. “Our bond is half finished, so I feel twitchy and anxious. Every time I see you, I think, ‘mine.’ I’m not an animal, I can mostly control myself, but sometimes I worry that I can’t. So I pick up jobs on purpose where I know I’ll be away from you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“But I’m hurting you by keeping you in limbo,” she whimpers.

“That shouldn’t matter,” I insist. “We’re all doing what we can to fix things. We suck at telling you what we’re doing, though.”

“Aiden said something like that to me once,” she says softly.

“He does a lot you don’t see,” I admit.

“I see it, I just don’t know who’s doing it,” Aisling grunts. “The new coat, flowers in the morning, new gloves, and law offices suddenly clambering to work with us. Okay, so the last one is Domh.”

Chuckling, I shrug. “It’s not enough, but it’s our way of telling you that we’re thinking of you. We appreciate how much you have on your plate every day, and we want to help in the ways we know we can. Have you found the new knife in your pocket yet?”

“I did actually,” she says with a begrudging grin, showing me where she has it on her thigh.

For weeks, Aisling would wear pants, which felt odd. I can see her mood is a little better, there’s some color in her cheeks, and she seems happier after the meeting with ROWS. Dressing up, skirts, those are all things that are a part of her self care. She wore a pants suit yesterday as well.

Fuck. As I think about it, things begin to click for me. I had a feeling Aisling was depressed, I just didn’t realize the extent of it. I wonder how much of this is due to how overwhelming her life is, and how much is due to our half finished bond?

I have some research to do while she’s with Dr. Alys.

“Do you want to wait upstairs?” Aisling asks as I park on the street. “This is going to be a longer appointment.”

“Yeah, I can do that,” I tell her, my tongue feeling thick and odd. It feels like a big deal that she would ask, which makes me wonder if she knows it’ll be a more difficult appointment as well.

Aisling has been avoiding her therapist for way too long.

Getting out of the SUV, I hope it helps all the chaos in her mind that she’s been feeling.

Aisling

My heart pounds hard as I walk to Dr. Alys’ office, and I curl my fingers into my palms to try to curb their trembling. I’ve been avoiding this for a reason. I have a feeling I’m about to be getting a reality check.

Peeking into the office, I see her waiting for me in the waiting room.

“Hey,” she says with a small smile. I hope she doesn’t think I’ve been avoiding her. While I have, it’s more about burying my feelings than refusing her calls.

“Hi,” I sigh. “Ready for me?”

“Why do I get this really bad feeling?” Caelin asks softly.

Neither of us respond as I walk in front of her into her office, and Caelin sits in the waiting room with his laptop to work. Wren and I had to reschedule our appointment to unveil our website with him because she’s in heat.

I got a quick message this morning. It says something about our friendship that she’d call a timeout to tell me that she’s about to be railed by knots for three days.

Taking a deep breath as I walk over to take a seat, Dr. Alys closes the door behind herself.

“Start wherever you’re comfortable,” she says, coming to sit down across from me.

“I’m in over my head,” I tell her. “I don’t know if it’s work or being depressed or being half bonded to two of my scent matches⁠—”

“Okay, let’s back up to being half bonded,” she says, blinking at me.

“Pack Hayes works for my father,” I say. “They all do in some capacity. The alpha who found me in the city the day I turned eighteen is one of them. So, Caelin, who is outside, ran into me when I was on a date. Aiden Hayes, their alpha, hid the fact that I was his scent match. He came mostly clean to the pack, but didn’t tell them about stealing my things on my eighteenth birthday.”

“It’s a very tangled web,” Dr. Alys agrees. “How are you feeling about all of this?”

“I’m a mess,” I whisper. “They lied to me about who Aiden was, and he wore a mask during my heat. I had no idea who he was. My heat was amazing, and Caelin and Domh bit me.”

“You didn’t bite them back,” she says softly.

“No,” I grunt. “There’s a bubble of anxiety inside of me at all times. Even if I have no reason to feel anxious! Work has been super busy, and I managed to piss off the Regional Omegas’ Women’s Society simply by existing. Domh just served them with a cease and desist order so they’ll stop contacting me.”

“I need to tell you something,” Dr. Alys says quickly. “Emilia is my aunt. We don’t talk, I have nothing to do with her, but I feel you should know.”

“She’s a fucking snake,” I mutter.

“That’s why we don’t talk anymore. Except, I got a call out of the blue, and I wonder if that’s why,” she says.

“She thinks omegas who don’t do what they should need to be sent to the auctions,” I sigh. “Just, be careful with her. I went to the ROWS meeting with Wren, Pack Mohan, Pack Hayes, and my dad. I half expected her to kidnap me.”

“I wouldn’t put it past her,” she says. “Back to your heat, what happened after?”

“I found out Hayes was Aiden, and my scent match. I threw my knife at him and ran,” I say. “He chased me down outside, while informing me that I now lived at his house.”

“Kidnapping,” she sighs. I bet she’s starting to understand why I’m keyed up.

“Mmhmm. Somehow, I got it into my head that my father signed off on it,” I say. “They said something that made me believe he gave me to them.”

“How did that feel?” Dr. Alys whispers.

“Like I was being abandoned and tricked,” I whisper back. Moisture collects behind my eyes and I attempt to hold the tears back. It’s too soon to cry. “I refused to talk to him, and retreated from everyone but Wren and Pack Mohan. Mostly because they wouldn’t let me.”

“There’s this heaviness in you that I haven’t seen before, Aisling,” Dr. Alys says. “What is it? Did you get things patched up with your dad?”

“I did, actually,” I say, shifting in my seat. I wore a skirt for the first time in what feels like ages. Anyone else would have thought that it was because it’s so cold, but the truth is I didn’t have the energy to put on so many layers.

Pants were easier.

“We talked two days ago, and had a really good conversation,” I explain. “Most of it was miscommunication. He explained how while he knew Aiden was my scent match, he didn’t know how else to help me. Aiden snuck into my closet at Dad’s during one of my sedated heats, one where the medication wasn’t working as well.”

“So your dad knew the next one would have had you searching for him since you had his scent,” Dr. Alys guesses as I nod.

“I asked Shaw for suppressants for my last heat, but I doubt it’ll work again. No one is that lucky,” I sigh. “Even then, Evan helped me through it with some toys. He interrupted me while using them and it threw off my headspace.”

“You’ve had a busy month and a half,” she murmurs. “So how do you feel about everything now?”

“Confused and hurt,” I say. “They’ve decided one of them will be with me at all times. Aiden spent most of the day waiting outside of Omega’s Haven while I worked, and he was angry when I got out. I actually thought he’d left me.”

“Why would he have any reason to be angry?”

“Gabriel teaches self defense classes in the warehouse section of the building, and we’re friendly,” I say. “I laughed at something he said, and then said goodbye. Apparently, I’ve been mopey and listless when I’m around them. Since I was already walking, I figured I’d continue up to the main road and call for a rideshare to get home.”

“You really thought he left you?” she asks.

“He’d been really fucking moody, and I had been a brat all day. It was my defense mechanism to deal with our close proximity in the car together,” I say. “He smells so fucking good, and I don’t want to be the girl who is ruled by her vagina.”

Dr. Alys’ lips twitch, though she nods. “I can understand that,” she says. “So what was happening?”

“He wanted me to say his first name,” I whisper, remembering how annoyed he was and I gasp in a breath. “Aiden grabbed my arm as I was walking past an alley, and yanked me in. I didn’t know who it was immediately, so I started to attack him.”

“With your muscle memory from earlier, I can see why,” Dr. Alys says as I nod.

“Aiden threw my knife away, shoved me face first into the wall, and that’s where I don’t know how I feel,” I rasp. Tears begin to slide down my face and I shrug weakly.

“He did things to my body that I enjoyed, even though I didn’t want to. I told him to stop, but he refused to. Aiden said the most filthy things to me, and my body responded. I know what I would say if it wasn’t me who went through it but…”

“You’re the only one who matters in this conversation right now,” she says softly.

“It felt like I was in over my head, having a conversation with my body I didn’t understand,” I say, hiccuping a sob. “Why did I want it? Why wouldn’t he stop? It was like hate sex gone wrong.”

Dr. Alys sits in witness as I break apart, my eyes dropping to the new bright yellow rug she has in her office. Forcing air through my lungs, I shake my head.

“I sat in the car the entire way back to the house with cum running down my leg, wondering if I was the problem. Maybe I’m too inexperienced, or maybe I was supposed to like it,” I whisper.

“The rest of the pack watched me walk up to my nest, and they could smell him on me. They beat the shit out of him. Aiden expresses his feelings through rough and dominant sex, but…”

“You’re not them, you’re you,” Dr. Alys says, and it makes perfect sense to me somehow. “They’ve been in a relationship for years. That’s a pattern they’ve established with rough sex. You have a different type of relationship because it’s newer. None of this has been negotiated between the two of you beforehand.”

“I don’t renegotiate terms,” he said. Did he think I had somehow agreed to rough sex with how bratty I was being?

“And that’s where it gets confusing,” I sigh, brushing tears away. “I think he thought we were negotiating terms, but I didn’t understand that. I was being a brat, refusing to say his name, and then the next moment I was being spanked with a belt and my arms were being bound behind my back.”

Glancing up to see if she thought I was crazy, I just see her gazing compassionately at me.

“He fucked up by not discussing what it all meant,” Dr. Alys says. “It rides so close to the edge to rape, the only one who can tell if it was or not is you.”

“It felt good, until it didn’t,” I mutter. “My body reacted to the spanking, and I liked that. I enjoy rough play. We did it during my first heat with them. I didn’t think I’d enjoy being gagged and spread, but I did. I was on the edge of consent during my heat, and I was okay going with the flow. I think the fact that it was all done in anger is what is fucking with my head. That’s what I hate. Am I fucked up for being so confused?”

“Not at all. You’re processing your feelings, and there are a lot of conflicting ones here. Once you muddle through some of them, you may need a conversation about it,” Dr. Alys says. “How do you think he feels about it? I’m on your side in this, but it’s important to explore his side as well in a safe place.”

“He is leaving me gifts and giving me space,” I tell her. “It’s like he’s treating me like glass, and I’m not going to break!”

My chest is heaving as I yell that and she nods.

“Damn right you’re not,” she says.

“I think he feels like shit,” I continue. “He looks at me with these sad eyes as if he’s already lost me. He… he told me I could reject him the other day.”

“He did?” she asks. “Wow. Can I tell you what that shows me?”

I nod, waiting to hear what she thinks. Aiden has me tangled up in knots, because I don’t understand what he wants. Fuck, I don’t know what the hell I want. It’s why this is all so difficult!

Spiral, spiral, spiral.

Damn. Taking a breath, I hold it for a moment as I listen to Dr. Alys.

“He wants what’s best for you,” she says. “Do you want to reject him?”

“No,” I burst out, releasing the breath in a woosh. “I need him. I know I wouldn’t if I rejected him, but I don’t want to do that. I want to be able to curl on his lap and just lay there. I want to feel safe with him. I know that’s an instinctual thing…”

“A lot of this is biology,” she agrees. “There’s a pull to the other person, especially when you’re bonded.”

Lately, I find myself wanting to know where they are in the house. I don’t leave the attic, but I do peek out to try to figure out where they are. I like going to bed knowing everyone is under the same roof. Otherwise, I feel twitchy and anxious when one of them works late.

Considering I’m not home until after ten at night sometimes, that’s saying something.

For someone with a half bond, I remember what Caelin said to me before. I need to figure out my feelings and talk to Aiden. Then, I need to finish bonding with Caelin and Domh. While they went through with Aiden’s plan to not tell me who he was during our first date and heat, I can understand why.

I never would have gotten in the SUV otherwise. I have a lot of discussions to do with them all.

“Being an adult sucks,” I mutter.

Dr. Alys smirks. “You had quite the argument in your head, didn’t you? Want to loop me in?”

I love that she never makes me feel badly for getting lost in my head. I explain to her about what I’ve been thinking, and also how I’m a little scared that it may be too late for me to talk to Aiden.

“I think he’s the only one who can tell you that,” she says gently.

Pulling a few tissues to clean up the tears that won’t stop coming, I nod with a sigh.

“Yeah,” I say. “I’m starting to understand that. Time to woman up, I guess.”

“Take your time, say what you need to, and establish your boundaries so this doesn’t happen again,” Dr. Alys says. “I have a feeling Aiden Hayes is hard headed. You need to make yourself very clear. If you want to be a brat, those things need to be discussed so it’s within the rules you set. And Aisling?”

“Yeah?” I ask.

“May I suggest safe words? They’ll help provide a framework for what’s okay and not,” she says.

My face flames as I nod. I didn’t think this is the direction our therapy session would take, but I’m glad it is. I don’t understand this type of kink play yet.

“Can you explain what that all means?” I ask weakly.

Dr. Alys’ lips twitch, but it doesn’t stop her from explaining how to set boundaries and consensual play. I feel better, lighter even when I leave.

“Do you need anything?” Caelin asks, standing as I walk out of the office. My nose is stuffy, my eyes are swollen, but I really needed this therapy session.

I feel shaky after all the crying, and I nod. “Chocolate, please,” I tell him. “It’ll help my blood sugar.”

“Hot chocolate or pastry?” he asks as he puts away his equipment.

“Mmm. Pastry,” I decide as he throws his bag strap over his head.

“Then that’s our next stop, poppet,” he says, linking his fingers through mine.

My body sags at the contact and I nod. Biology is a super fucked up thing. But maybe, it’s right about needing human connection. Our strands are currently very tangled, and I need to stop running so I can help unravel it all.