Forever Wild (Wildcat Hockey Book 5)

EVERLY

I look forward to the first home game of the season like it’s a holiday. I love hockey. Even if my brother hadn’t played, I think I still would have been a fan. There’s nothing like the energy of the Wildcat fans when the players take the ice for warmups. Conversations die down and all eyes turn to the men in green skating around the rink.

I know exactly where Ty will fall in the lineup. Maverick steps out first and then Tyler’s right behind him. I usually follow him as he makes his first circle toward the net, but today my gaze lingers until all the other players have taken the ice. Jack is the last one out, like he has to make sure everyone else has made it first before he can. Honestly, that tracks for him. He’s a great captain. Some people lead by example and others do it with empathy. Jack somehow manages to do both.

I take him in unabashedly with so much distance between us it feels safe. He never wears his helmet for warmups so I can see that his dark hair has gotten a touch too long again. It’s slicked back and his dark eyes focus on everything around him. I swear I can feel him taking it all in like he really thought he’d never get to do this again.

I’m sitting with the wives and girlfriends tonight up on the upper level. Sandwiched between Bridget and Piper, all three of us are focused on the men. It really doesn’t get old. Sure, by the end of the season most wives are ready for a break so they can see their man for longer than a few hours at a time, but for me it could be hockey year-round and I’d still watch every game.

After a few minutes, conversations start back up again. Bridget is currently holding Charlotte, who is taking turns climbing over each of our laps. Not like we mind. She’s adorable in her little Sharp jersey and matching green headband.

“This feels just like old times,” Piper says and squeezes my hand.

“Uh-huh. Right down to you being knocked up.” I glance down at her tiny baby bump. The off-season was productive in more ways than one.

Piper is glowing, and I can’t wait to be an auntie again to another adorable little girl.

When the game is ready to start, the announcer calls out the starting lineup. The arena shakes with applause and screams when he calls out Jack. The fans love him, and as I watch him taking it all in with an almost bashful expression, I almost forget about how mad I am at him and start to fall under his spell again.

There is something sexy about a man who dedicates so much of himself to other people. I just wish I was one of those people in his life.

The first game of the season does not disappoint. The guys are looking sharp. Ty scores in the second period, then Ash in the third. My ear drums hurt from the women around me yelling so much.

Jack doesn’t get any goals, but he looks good out there. Like he was never gone. His presence alone is enough to make a difference. His teammates are always looking to him. If he’s fired up, then so are they. When he says dig deep, they listen. Without him, they’re all still talented players but with him, they’re a team.

When the game is over, I go with Piper and Charlotte to wait for Tyler. I’m carrying a sleepy Charlotte when someone calls out my name.

I glance back to see Jack’s agent, James, walking my way. My heart flutters with nervous anticipation. I haven’t really mentioned to Tyler or Piper how much time I spent with Jack this summer and I feel like my cover is about to be blown.

Piper reaches for Charlotte. “I’m going to change her. Are you good?” she asks.

“Yeah,” I say then turn to greet James. “Hi. How are you?”

I’ve always liked James. He has this way about him where he can tell people off, but they somehow aren’t insulted. He’s polite, but I get the feeling he would know who to call and where to dispose of a body, if needed.

“Good. Good. I was hoping I’d run into you.”

“You were?” I smile hesitantly, then panic. “Did I screw something up? I’m so sorry. I never should have touched his schedule. I was just trying to help.”

“I’m glad you did.”

“Really?”

He nods. “Whatever magic you worked on Jack’s inbox this summer, thank you. I was expecting to come back and spend the next month digging out of it.”

“I didn’t really do much.”

“I can’t tell you how many interns I’ve fired because they don’t know how to politely decline an invitation or forget to check the schedule and double-book. And that’s for my small clients. Managing Jack’s inbox is a feat all in itself. It should be a full-time job, but Jack refuses to let anyone else touch it. Except you, I guess.”

The compliment warms me, or maybe it’s the reminder that for a small while, Jack let me in closer than he lets most people.

“And don’t even get me started on the masquerade ball. Do you know how many times I asked him to attend?”

I shake my head.

“A lot. He told me he wasn’t going to dress up in a mask like it was Halloween and go talk business. How did you get him to say yes?”

I shrug. “I just asked.”

“Well, you did him and me a solid. Nike would be a huge get.”

He doesn’t seem to know I went with Jack to the event and my heart squeezes at the memory. That night, despite getting sick, is etched into my soul forever. He took such good care of me. I enjoyed riling up the arrogant and controlling man everyone knows, but I gave my heart to the soft version who planned a once in a lifetime night for me and then held my hand while I fought off a fever instead. It was the most intimate and vulnerable I’ve been with anyone, ever.

James’ phone chimes and he glances down at it before looking back to me and smiling. “Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

He takes one step away. “I hear you’re in Briar Lake for a design internship.”

“That’s right.”

“Well, if that doesn’t work out, give me a call. I have a young baseball player that could use some strong-arming.”

When he leaves, I feel the weirdest sense of pride and surprise, but it’s quickly snuffed out when I linger too long thinking about Jack. I didn’t work any magic on Jack. He’s the same guy he always was. He would have figured out his inbox and scheduling and everything else without me. That’s just who he is. A man who needs no one else.

Piper and Charlotte return before I can get too lost in my thoughts, then Tyler walks out of the locker room. His smile when he sees his wife and daughter waiting for him makes me melt a little inside. I’m so glad he has Piper and Charlotte and now another baby on the way, but I would be lying if I said I don’t sometimes miss when it was just the two of us against the world.

I let Piper and Charlotte hug and congratulate him first, then I step up to him.

“I’m so glad you came,” he says as he wraps one arm around me.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. You played great. Charlotte and I declared you the best player on the team.”

“Is that right?” He glances over at his daughter in Piper’s arms. Charlotte is nuzzled into her mom’s shoulder with her eyes half-open.

“We based it solely on last name, but yes. No contest.”

He chuckles and lets out a long breath. “Are you heading back tonight?”

“No. I’m staying with Bridget. I’ll head back tomorrow morning.”

“Why don’t you stay with us?”

“Because…” I trail off. “You’re going to go home and crash, and I don’t want to stumble in later and wake Charlotte.”

“Going to Wild’s?”

“Of course.”

“All right. Well, do you want to come by for breakfast in the morning?”

“How about brunch?” I ask. Ty is a morning person, especially now that he has a baby alarm clock, and I would prefer to sleep in on the weekends.

“Text me when you wake up.” He grins.

“Okay.” I hug him again. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks.” He ruffles my hair as he pulls back. “Be safe tonight. Text me if you need a ride or anything.”

Ash is the next to walk out of the locker room.

“Little Sharpie!” he calls. He hugs Bridget to one side of his chest as he holds up a hand for me to high-five him. Only Ash could make a high five seem completely normal in this scenario.

“Nice game,” I say to him.

“Thanks. You ready to celebrate?”

“You know it. Wild’s after the first home game is tradition.”

“New tradition this year,” he says grinning. “Tonight we’re going to Midnight.”

Despite my protests, after a quick stop at Ash’s house so Bridget and I can change, we pile into Ash’s truck and head to the night club.

“This is going to be so fun,” Bridget insists.

I smile at her because normally I would be excited. I love Midnight. Or I did. Now it’s all wrapped up in one person. One amazing night. I don’t think I can ever go back there and not remember the things we did in the owner’s box.

We’re the last to arrive. As we step up to the VIP section, it’s Jack’s eyes I feel on me, but Declan is the first to greet me.

“Little Sharpie!” He gives me his signature one-arm hug. His wife Jade waves from where she sits on the couch behind him. Declan was the first of Tyler’s teammates to become my friend. He lived in the same apartment building as Tyler and he had a wrist injury that kept him from traveling with the team. He’s quiet and serious, but fiercely protective and the biggest teddy bear for the people he loves. His wife Jade is one of my favorite people. She brings him out of his shell, and he adores her.

“You know you always have a place to stay at our house if you get tired of listening to them bang.” He tips his head toward Ash and Bridget.

“Like you two are any better.”

The tips of his ears turn red.

“We have better soundproofing,” Jade says with a smirk.

“Ahh. I’m so happy you’re here.” Bridget’s smile erases some of the anxiety swirling in my stomach.

“Me too. I hate not seeing you every week.”

“Same, but the internship is good?” she asks, then takes a small sip of her drink. “I looked at the pictures you sent me. That house is gorgeous.”

“Right? And you should see it in person now that we have all the owner’s furniture moved out. It’s this big, open slate and I have so many ideas. Unfortunately, my budget is so small I’m not sure I’m going to be able to do it justice.”

“I have seen you redo an entire room for less than a hundred dollars so I think you’ve got this.”

“This is different.” A flutter of panic works its way in, the same way it does every time I try to pull together a design plan. My usual homey touches and thrifting finds aren’t going to cut it and I’m running out of time to decide. I’ll need weeks to execute my ideas once they’re solidified, and the open house deadline is looming.

She grins right along with me, listening to me talk about work. A lot of my hours at the internship have been spent assisting Heather on the condos, but I love the house she selected for my final design project.

“You’re totally going to get the job. I know it. No one deserves it more.”

“Thanks. I’m trying not to think about that part. I always knew a full-time job with Heather was a long shot.”

“Not for you. You’re…”

I lose track of what Bridget is saying as I spot Jack moving through the crowd.

The gray T-shirt that stretches across his broad chest should look casual, but he wears it like a fine suit. It hugs his muscular frame and drapes along his tapered waist. Black dress pants and tennis shoes complete the look. He looks exactly like the sporty club owner that he is.

Bridget must notice that I’ve completely lost focus on her because the next thing I know she’s taking my hand and squeezing.

“Are you okay?” She looks from me to Jack.

“Yeah,” I say unconvincingly then, “I knew I’d have to face him again eventually.”

“Have you talked at all since Charlotte’s birthday party?”

“No.” I shake my head.

“Do you want to dance or something?”

“Yes, definitely.” I smile and feel immediate relief at having something else to focus on.

We start for the dance floor but before we get to the steps that lead out of the VIP area, Jack steps in front of us. I don’t know why I thought he’d avoid me, but it’s obvious that is not how tonight is going to go.

He smiles tentatively. There’s a spark of something in his expression. At the birthday party he seemed more resigned to seeing me, like he knew it was inevitable and he wanted to make sure we were okay for the sake of everyone else. But this is different. He looks happy to see me, which doesn’t make sense.

“Hey,” he says.

No one is looking at us like this is out of the ordinary, but my palms sweat like everyone can tell he’s seen me naked anyway.

“Hi.”

“Can we talk?” he asks, looking from me to Bridget.

She starts to leave, but I clutch on to her arm. “We were just going to dance.”

He doesn’t budge and I squirm under the weight of his stare.

“Please?” His eyes plead more than the tone in his voice.

I nod my head ever so slightly and let go of Bridget.

“I won’t be far,” she says and leaves us.

When we’re alone I cross my arms at my waist. “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

“Then let me talk.” He steps closer. His scent wraps around me, and I close my eyes and block out the onslaught of memories. I can’t do this with him. Not here. Not in front of our friends.

“You don’t need to do this. Okay? I’m fine. Great, actually.” I smile my most convincing smile. “I’m happy so whatever you think you need to say or do, it’s just not necessary. Can we just go back to how things were?”

“No,” he says quickly. “That won’t work. Not for me.”

I don’t understand what he expects me to say or do. Am I supposed to let him see how badly it crushed me when he all but told me he didn’t want to see me anymore?

“Too damn bad, Jack. You aren’t the boss of me.”

His lips twitch at one corner like he’s amused with me, then his fingers brush over mine and he leans down to whisper. “I miss you.”

My mouth is dry and swallowing is difficult as he stares down at me. Memories of the summer flash in my mind and I fight to push them away. It was just a summer fling.

Jack gives my fingers a small squeeze before he pulls back and walks away. He’s gone before I can manage to compose myself enough to reply. Ash approaches with a drink in each hand and a quizzical expression. “Everything okay?” he asks.

He hands me one of the drinks.

“Yeah, great.”

His slow nod isn’t exactly one that says he believes me, but he doesn’t pry.

Bridget and I do eventually make it to the dance floor, where I do my best to forget about the man upstairs and lose myself to the music. But he’s everywhere. This club has so much of him in it. It’s the details. The lavish yet cozy vibe, the dark and moody color palette, and the feeling of safety and fun. I can’t explain it but it’s a bone-deep feeling that I can’t shake.

When we’re both tired and sweaty, we head back to VIP. Jack is sitting on a couch next to Declan and a woman I don’t recognize. She’s familiar with him in a way that indicates this isn’t the first time they’ve met.

Jealousy burns my throat. And then a more horrifying realization hits me – he’s probably already hooked up with other people. I mean, of course he has. He’s Jack Wyld. He bounces through women like a sport.

Maybe that’s why he’s so eager for us to clear the air. It will be awkward to see him with someone else and he might be an asshole, but he wouldn’t want to rub it in my face.

I go back to ignoring him. Or trying. Ash and Bridget do their best to include me in their conversation but my mood has plummeted, and I can’t seem to fake it.

Jack doesn’t outright flirt with the woman, but that isn’t really his style. He exists and women flock to him. I’ve seen it so many times over the years. He’s this unshakeable force, never changing who he is for anyone else. I admire that about him as much as it annoys me. He was never going to fall in love with me. I knew that and somehow, I let myself fall for him anyway. Stupid, stupid.

My plan to ignore Jack is thwarted quickly. Declan notices me staring that way and waves me over. I hesitate but realize it’s going to look stranger if I don’t go than if I do.

He moves over closer to Jade, leaving an empty space next to Jack. I falter for only a beat before taking the seat. My throat is thick with emotion as my left side buzzes from the contact of Jack. My shoulder brushes against the side of his arm and our thighs push together. It’s hard to breathe, hard to think with him this close.

“How are you?” Declan asks, and I focus all my attention on him. Or try to. “I’ve missed you. When’s your internship over?”

I give him the same spiel as I have everyone else, but with Declan I never feel like he’s trying to pressure me one way or another. His love and support don’t have strings or expectations. I know that he would be just as proud of me if I quit today than if I went on to become the best interior designer in the state.

It isn’t that I don’t think Ty and the others would still love me or be proud of me, but they still think of me as the girl that needs them to push me to be successful and keep me out of trouble. I’m a responsibility to them, and that links my success to theirs. If I succeed, then they did something right. I owe them all so much, but I want to figure out the next steps on my own. Probably messily and with tons of mistakes, and not worry that they’re going to be disappointed in me.

Jack angles his body to listen to me talk. I feel his attention but don’t look his way until he says, “You’re designing a place all on your own?”

“Yeah. Well, my boss will still sign off on everything…” I trail off feeling a little silly about making such a big deal out of it. But Jack smiles, really smiles, like this is the best news he’s ever heard. I get a little lost in that smile and forget I’m mad at him. I wanted him to know I was happy and glad I went, but I don’t want him to think he did me any favors by pushing me out the door.

“I love the houses at Briar Lake,” the pretty brunette on the other side of him says and she leans over Jack to speak. I eye all the places she’s touching him and have to clamp my jaw shut to keep from saying something. Like I have any right.

I’m still focusing on her boobs pressed against his arm when I feel calloused fingers on my thigh. I stare down at Jack’s hand and my head spins. I don’t know what’s happening but suddenly I feel like I’m in way over my head.

“Excuse me. I…” Not bothering to finish my sentence, I stand and head toward the bar. I can’t play this game. He’s way better at it than I am.