Forever Wild (Wildcat Hockey Book 5)

EVERLY

I have a permanent smile on my face that I can’t seem to do anything about. Even as I try to fake sleep when Jack walks toward me after finishing his workout, my smile gives me away.

Giving up, I push my sunglasses to the top of my head. “Hey.”

His mouth is pulled down at the corners, but his expression is soft. “Hungry?”

“Starving.” I take in the hard ridges of muscles in his chest and stomach, and the sweat that glistens in the sunlight.

His body is incredible. Years of training and discipline have sculpted every inch of him to perfection. I’ve never particularly enjoyed giving blowjobs but going down on Jack could easily become my new favorite hobby.

All that control and discipline is sexy, but there’s something addicting about how soft he can be too. For days he hovered over me, making sure I had everything I needed. It was so nice I’m almost sad I’m all better.

He sits on the lounge chair beside me and hands over a water. “I ordered Chinese from that place you like. It should be here in about five minutes?”

A pleased smile curves my lips and my stomach dips. See? Soft. I sit up and move to the edge of the chair, so my knees fit in the space between his. “How will I ever repay you?”

My hands slide up his massive thighs, but he catches them in his and stops my ascent.

“I have to head out for a while.”

“Oh.” I think back to earlier. I’m sure he didn’t mention any plans. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” He stands too quickly and won’t quite meet my eyes.

“When will you be back?”

“I’m not sure. Late, maybe, but stay as long as you’d like. Enjoy the pool.”

“You’re acting weird.” I stand in front of him.

A small smile pulls at the corner of his lips, but it’s not nearly as big as the ones he’s been aiming my way for the past few days. A month ago, I would have been happy to get any smile out of him, but now that I’ve had him smile at me for real, the fake one is twice as disappointing.

“I’ll see you later.” He brushes his lips over mine and then turns to go, leaving me reeling in his sudden mood swing.

I barely eat my favorite lunch as I mull over what could be wrong with Jack. Is it something with his knee? Things seemed great earlier, so I don’t think it’s me, but I don’t outright dismiss it either. Maybe Ty calling freaked him out?

I swim a little more, then consider leaving and going back to my place, but there’s a nagging worry that has a pit forming in my stomach and I need to talk to Jack.

I pull out my phone to text him, but then decide there’s too much nuance over text, so I call instead.

“Hello?” he answers on the second ring. There’s a hint of concern in his tone with that single word. His voice comforts me even with the physical distance between us.

The background is noisy. Glasses clinking and people talking. I strain to make out the location.

“Where are you?” I ask.

“Ev?” he asks, voice louder.

“Yeah, it’s me. Where are you?”

There’s a beat of hesitation where I think he can’t hear me, but then he says, “Wild’s.”

He went to the bar and left me at his house? There could be a thousand different reasons, but it’s odd and a bad feeling settles in my stomach.

“Stay there,” I say. “Don’t leave.”

It only takes me twenty minutes to get there. Fifteen to drive and five to give myself a pep talk in the car. The popular bar near the arena is quieter than any other time I’ve been here. After a game this place is packed. It’s a favorite with the players, too, thanks to the proximity of the rink and the free drinks bestowed upon them. For all the people they bring in, I’d say it’s a fair trade. Unless of course, the guys are really tying one on. They can put back the alcohol if they want.

But today the place is occupied with only a few patrons. The one of most interest to me is sitting at the bar. I push back my nerves and start toward him. His head is bowed over his beer. It looks untouched and his hands rest on the wooden bar next to it instead of around the glass.

Jack glances up as I approach. His dark gaze takes me in as he smiles. I’m filled with a brief sense of relief that he’s happy to see me. Maybe I’ve made too big of a deal about this after all.

He stands and I wave to the guy still sitting on the bar stool next to his.

Nick Galaxy waves back at me with a half-smile that brings out a dimple in his cheek. He fits in so seamlessly I sometimes forget that he’s only been with the team for just over a year now. He’s not big on partying or going out, so I haven’t spent that much time with him. I guess that makes sense with a little boy at home, but something tells me even without Aidan, he’d be more reserved than some of the other guys. He’s like Jack a little, hard to read and a skosh intimidating. Though as captain, Jack puts himself at the center of everyone’s needs, so he feels less reclusive.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” I say loud enough that Nick can hear.

“Not at all. I need to call and check in on Aidan.” Nick stands with his phone in hand and heads toward the front of the bar.

When he’s gone, Jack and I stare at each other awkwardly. I take a seat on a stool next to his and he finally slides back onto his. The bartender appears and when Jack asks if I want anything, I shake him off.

“I won’t stay, I just had this nagging feeling that something was wrong, and I figured I could come ask you or I could spend the rest of the night plotting your murder.”

His lips quirk up in a small smile. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“No, it wouldn’t.” I smile back at him. I study him carefully. There’s a heaviness in his expression that makes my stomach swirl with unease. “Did I do something?”

I hate myself a little for assuming it’s me, but Jack is unmoving, rigid almost in his ability to stay at an even temperament.

“No. You…” He trails off. “It’s nothing. We’re good. You and I are always good.”

My brain spins to pick up on his hidden meanings. We’re always good makes it sound like nothing has changed between us.

“Is this about me torturing you while you talked to Tyler? I’m sorry. I know how much you respect him.”

“No,” he says quickly. “At least, not exactly.”

I lean forward slightly as I wait for him to continue.

“Your brother is concerned about you, and I feel bad that I’m messing around with you behind his back.”

“I’m old enough to decide who I date or mess around with.”

“Of course you are, but he’s my friend.” He takes a small sip of his beer as I sit impatiently for him to speak.

“He reminded me that you’re leaving soon.”

“O-kay,” I say slowly, trying to follow his line of reasoning.

“Maybe we should just call it now before things get any messier.”

“Why do we have to call it at all? It’s not like I won’t be back when it’s over. And I can visit on weekends.” I already plan to come back for as many home games as possible to see Charlotte and everyone else.

“Maybe you will come back when it’s over or maybe you’ll decide you want to stay or move across the country or the world… You don’t know what you want yet and that’s great. You should follow your ambitions.”

I breathe in through my nose and then exhale slowly. I know that people change. Their wants, their desires, their dreams, but this is my home. “I can’t imagine not coming back here,” I admit. “I’m not even sure I want to go.”

I know it’s what is expected and that it’s a great opportunity, but I like my life here and the people in it. Jack included. Maybe Jack most of all, if I’m being honest. The last few weeks have meant more to me than I can put into words or even wrap my brain around yet, but I know it’s true.

“You have to go.” His eyes widen.

I shrug one shoulder.

“Ev. No. You can’t stay. You and I are having fun, but it can’t go anywhere.”

“This isn’t about you and me,” I say, feeling myself get defensive. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I have a life here. Friends and family.”

“Who all want to see you happy and⁠—”

“You mean they want to be free from worrying about me.”

His face twists with surprise like he wasn’t expecting that.

“My parents were tired of dealing with me so they let me move in with Ty, and now he’s married and has Charlotte, and he wants me out of his hair too.”

“That’s not true.”

“I know he’d never say that, but it’s why he wants this so bad. If I get a job and move away, then he doesn’t have to keep looking out for me the same way. It frees him from the responsibility of me.” And I can’t really blame him. He has his own family now.

“I promise you that isn’t it.” He reaches for me, but I pull back, feeling raw and exposed. It hurts that he doesn’t want me here either. I thought…I thought that things had changed between us. Embarrassment makes my face hot. Jack is good at taking care of people and being what they need. And here I am making more out of it when it was my idea in the first place.

“You’re right. You and I aren’t going anywhere so it’s better to end things now,” I say then slide off the bar stool.

“Everly.” He stands and calls after me.

I feel the sting in the back of my eyes, but I absolutely will not let myself cry.

He moves in front of me, grasping my arms just below the elbow. “Don’t do this. You’re wrong. Lots of people care about you and want you here.”

“People like you?” I ask.

He doesn’t answer.

“That’s what I thought.” I stare up at his handsome face, ignoring the pull I have to ease the worry lines there. “Bye, Jack.”