SWNOVELS Chapter She Wants Far More?
“That’d be foolish.” He stiffened.
More than, actually.
“You seem to tell me that a lot as of late.”
Then listen to me! He knew he should spit the cruel retort that came to mind, but he hadn’t the heart to let it rip from his lips and hurt her further.
“You cannot like to be alone in those caves any more than I like to be alone in that House! I’m not going to leave you to rot alone out here.”
What are you saying? He was momentarily aghast. Unprepared for her sudden change in tactic.
“Do I look to you like I’m rotting?” He gestured around him. Still avoiding peering back at her.
Terrified she’d be crying. Which would be my undoing. I can’t stay strong. Your tears will cripple me.
It was the one thing I never wanted.
“You look, this moment, like a coward. Something I never thought you’d be.” Her words were dangerously low.
You’re insulting me now?
I’m no coward! Despite himself he gave her the rage he knew she prodded for.
“What is it you want of me, Chastain?” He knocked his hood back as he twisted to look at her. “A hug? A friend? A brother? A father? A protector? I am none of those things.”
I can’t be.
“I’d dearly hope not. I want far more.” Her words were so soft he was unsure he’d heard them.
A chittering squirrel in a nearby tree was distracting him. It’s too loud.
Surely I heard her wrong. He halted.
“What?”
“You’ve always been there for me. And I’m not going to stop being present for you now!”
“What makes you think you were ever there for me?” He asked scathingly.
That’s not true. If I’d ever needed her, she’d have run to me.
But I need her to stay away.
She grimaced, and he hated himself that moment, but managed to keep his self-loathing off his face.
Though I’m unsure how.
“You know I have.” She bit her lip. “I can see you’re scared for me. I know you’re trying to protect me. As are Margaret and Agatha. But I’m a woman now. Capable of taking care of myself if you’ll let me?”
“Fine.” He twisted, pulling his bow from his back and launching an arrow in a single smooth motion. It sunk deep in a squirrel. Falling it from the nearby tree. “Retrieve that for our dinner.”
That ought to do it.
She gasped in horror.
He draped his bow back over his shoulder and blinked at her steadily.
“Oh, I hate you for this!” She gripped her skirts and trudged through the shrubbery to lift the arrow. The poor dead critter impaled on the tip. She eyed it appalled and glowered at him.
Say it.
“Now will you teach me to kill the things that hunt you?”
Not that. His composure slipped. He stared at her long and hard.
A smile danced around her lips when his shoulders fell.
“You think because you can tolerate the sight of a dead squirrel that you’re now equipped to save my life?”
You’re nowhere near, Girl.
They’d eat your legs off your body before you could run home.
“I’m equipped to learn.” She caught his big hand and turned it palm up. Slapping the still warm furry body into it and yanking the arrow from it.
Impressive.
“I’d watch anything die as long as it’s not you!”
Where’d she muster all this gumption?
“Am I then supposed to be willing to watch you die?” His voice cracked, and he drew a quaking breath.
I couldn’t bear that.
And Chavias will come calling again. He promised Bast when he comes back…
“You won’t have to.” Her green gaze never wavered. “I can fight. I can kill. And I’d defend you. Or Mags or Aggie.”
We don’t need defended. You do.
“And what of yourself?”
Her chin hitched. “If you teach me how.”
Good woman! He jerked back, astounded by her boldness.
“And do you think you’ll still look at me as you are now when I have?” His gaze narrowed.
“I’ll look at you like this for as long as you’ll let me look on you.”
Well said.
“Why do I feel I’m falling into some well-laid trap?” He sighed as he turned and commenced checking the Meredith House perimeter. Letting her fall into step with him. And letting his guards fall away.
I’ll regret this.
You’re a bloody fool, Acharius. You’re going to get her killed. His eyes slid sideways to watch her beautiful profile and the slight movement of her long red hair flowing as she stepped high over a log.
But Bast’s words came back to him and Deragan’s. Urging me to let her make choices for herself.
And not steal her decisions…Even when I’m certain it’s the right thing to do.