SWNOVELS Forever Golden: Chapter 6
BLUE
“You look miserable. Say the word and we’ll slip out the back door. I’m kind of a pro at it.”
The offer has me peering up as West flashes a smile.
“Thanks, but I’ve been off academic probation all of, what, half the day? I dare not tempt the gods so soon.”
“Just saying, we have options,” he adds with a casual shrug.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
We’ve been posted here, leaning against the brick just outside the cafeteria for five solid minutes. I can’t seem to make myself go in there today. My stomach’s in knots, my head’s throbbing… the works. However, I’m not in the least bit confused about what’s brought it all on.
The possibility of uprooting your entire life in the very near future can take its toll on a girl. Barring there isn’t some miracle that manifests out of thin air, my mind is already made up. I know West will likely do everything in his power to stop me, but I’ll do what’s best for Scar at any cost. Even if that cost is my own happiness.
This is precisely the reason being near West stirs a strange mix of emotion inside me now—disbelief knowing we’ve come so far only to possibly lose everything, sadness knowing I’ll always miss him if I go. Even after the dust settles and years have passed, there will be no getting over him.
No getting over this. Us.
That churning in my gut has me looking away from him. Seems stupid to let myself fall deeper at this point.
Two months—that’s the vague cut-off I’ve been given.
Two damn months to make some form of a clean break from the guy who completely has my heart in the palm of his hands.
There’s some small comfort in knowing West would at least understand my reason for leaving if I have to go, but that makes nothing about this easier. Vin wants an ocean of distance between his son and me, and he’s kept tabs on me long enough to know threatening Scar was the way to get the job done.
West casually slips an arm around me and my thoughts shift. There are others nearby, hordes of kids rushing into and out of the corridor, but it feels like it’s just us. Like always.
I’m drawn deeper into his side, and somehow forget the vow I made to myself last night—while I tossed and turned beside him in my bed. I swore to start pulling away for my own sanity, because I have to do something to make this hurt less. But being near him now, all of that has gone out the window. My point is proven when I reach for the hand that rests on my shoulder, lacing my fingers with his.
Damn it, Blue. Don’t do this to yourself. Ease away now so you don’t have to tear yourself away later.
West nods at one of his teammates who’s headed in for lunch, and I use the moment to correct my mistake, slipping my hand out of his. To avoid him reading too much into it, I take my phone from my pocket and check it for the millionth time. Keeping tabs on Scar has become somewhat of an obsession today, and West knows it. If she doesn’t respond to my texts within thirty seconds, I go into a full panic.
Letting her leave for school from Jules’s house sent my anxiety through the roof. Probably because I couldn’t lay eyes on her myself as she walked into the building. Vin’s warning repeats in my head, and I wish I believed he only meant to scare me, but I know better. Something tells me he’s not one to make idle threats.
Hunter may not have confirmed my suspicion outright, but I know his being in prison has everything to do with Vin. I won’t lose another sibling to that monster.
Over my dead body.
As if I’m not already on edge, someone’s been calling my phone from a blocked number. There’ve been three today, and when I pick up… nothing. It reminds me of something West said about Casey’s paranoia. He described how she couldn’t relax because she was constantly on the lookout.
“Everything okay?”
I’m still a bit distracted when I peer up to find West smiling. Seeing that I’m confused, he nods toward my screen.
“Scar—is she all right?”
“Oh, um… her day’s been normal from what I can tell,” I answer with a sigh.
“Then, what’s with the stalking?”
Glancing down at me and Scar’s text history, it isn’t hard to see why he’d say that. Guess it does look a little manic on my part. Mostly, there are frantic ‘You okay?’ messages from me, resulting in ‘Don’t you have anything better to do?’ responses from her.
Then, there’s her latest inquiry, which I have yet to answer…
Scar: Shouldn’t I be hounding you? We ever gonna talk about that pic Pandora posted? Or are you planning to ignore the question like you did last night when I asked?
Needless to say, I haven’t bugged her since.
“She probably just thinks I’m smothering her. Like usual,” I say to West. “The girl will be fifteen this weekend and I still hover like a freaking helicopter. Even before I had good reason to.”
“Relax. You don’t smother her. You’re just a good sister,” he says, squeezing me a little. “But since we’re on the subject of smothering the ones we love, it’s my turn.”
The odd segue has me smiling, despite feeling like actual shit right now.
“I need to know you’re okay. A lot’s happened in the last twenty-four hours,” he presses.
Tell me about it.
“I’m dealing,” is the only response I feel like giving. Call me crazy, but I’m not in the mood to relive it all so soon. Not that I’ve forgotten or anything. I suppose that if I had moved on, those bags I packed last night wouldn’t still be sitting in the closet, ready just in case.
West’s energy is so strong that, one second after my mind wanders, I’m pulled out of my thoughts without him saying a word. He has my full attention when he tilts my head just before heat from his kiss covers my lips. Despite telling myself not to let this or him affect me, it’s too late. I’m in so deep with him I’m drowning.
“Promise me something,” he pulls away to say.
Those green eyes—they decimate the walls I’m trying to build around my heart.
“What is it?”
His touch is firmer now, as though he wants to make sure I’m focused, hearing every word he’s about to say.
“I need to know you’re giving me time.”
My heart sinks hearing his request. All because time is the one thing I can’t promise him.
“West—”
“Two months, right?” he cuts in. “I’ll fix it by then.”
There’s that phrase again—‘he’ll fix it’.
I’m not sure I realized before now how desperate he is to make this all okay. It’s been clear that he cares, but the look in his eyes tells me he’ll lose his shit if we don’t beat that clock.
My heart’s racing and it’s on the tip of my tongue to reveal what he probably already knows—that this thing is bigger than us, that it’s bigger than what the two of us can handle. I keep my mouth shut, though. Yes, false hope is probably the last thing we need, and we should be preparing for the worst, but I can’t bring myself to break his heart right now.
I know a lot about life spiraling out of control, and the way I’ve survived it over and over again is to brace for impact. And while I know West is blind to it at the moment, we’re locked in a vicious tailspin with only one possible ending.
But that look in his eyes… it’s tugging at my heart, has me feeling like a coward under his stare. So, instead of giving him the hard reality check I’d give anyone else, I nod.
“Okay,” I say. “I’ll give you time.” He’s so relieved it breaks my heart a little more, leaving me with the sense that I’ve just been irresponsible with his feelings. I shouldn’t have done that. He needed to hear the truth. Not some fluffed up version of what we both hope happens.
His mouth crashes down onto mine when he kisses me again, hard and deep. So deep that I nearly forget my vow again.
“Thank you,” he rushes to say. “I’m gonna do everything I can.”
There’s this look in his eyes now, and I know my promise just revived some measure of hope within him, but I want to be one-hundred percent transparent about the rest of my plan.
“I’m willing to be patient, wait things out, but… I have to send Scar someplace safe,” I explain.
That light I’d just seen flickering in his stare suddenly fades, turning his expression somber.
“She’ll hate me for it, but it’s the only thing I can think to do to keep her out of danger. I can’t watch her twenty-four-seven, and I—”
West faces me head on and I stop speaking because, shit, I’m about to cry again. In front of all these people.
His hands warm both sides of my neck and I focus on him to hold it together. Otherwise, if I let myself think about how fucked up this situation truly is, I’ll lose it.
“You’re right to get her out of here. We don’t know what we’re up against.”
It feels good to hear that someone else agrees I’m doing the right thing. Because heaven knows Scar’s going to put up one hell of a fight to stay.
“Where are you thinking of sending her?” West asks, bringing to mind the less-than-ideal option I came up with last night.
“The only place I could think of—our grandmother. Mike’s mom,” I add. “I’m not even sure she’ll take Scar in, but she’s the only family we have outside Cypress Pointe.”
I’m sick at the thought of my sister going anywhere, but especially there. Mike picked up all his nasty vices from that household—the short fuse, his selfishness, the drinking.
West nods. “Ok, well we can start by having you reach out to her. Maybe tell her there’s trouble, but be vague. Where does she stay?”
“A small town in Virginia. She’s got a single-wide in an old trailer park off the interstate, but she’s got a spare bedroom she sometimes rents out to boarders. At least, that was the case the last time we spoke to her.”
Eight years ago.
It feels like there’s a knife twisting in my stomach, pressing deeper with every second that passes.
“Hey,” West says quietly. He tilts my head back until I’m focused on only him, but my eyes blur with tears. “It’s only temporary. Only until we sort this shit out.”
I nod, hoping like hell he’s right about all this. Even if I don’t believe a single word of it beyond the fact that he will do absolutely everything he can to make things right.
“Okay,” I manage to say.
He holds my gaze for a moment, reading me in that way only he can do. “Okay.”
Eventually, he leans away and I feel stronger than before, empowered even. All because, for the first time in a long time, I’m not doing things all on my own.
Joss and the guys are coming our way, but they seem to notice this moment between me and West is intense, and just head into the cafeteria.
West’s stare lingers there a moment, at the empty doorway where his brothers and Joss just disappeared.
“I know you don’t know them as well as I do, but I really think they can help us sort things out,” he suggests. “Even Joss. She’s not blood, but she’s like family.”
My chest rises when I breathe deep.
“I’m not really in a position to turn down help,” I say, chuffing a humorless laugh, not realizing one of the tears has slipped down my cheek. West brushing it away with his thumb is what signals me that it has.
“With the five of us working together, Vin’s ass won’t know what hit him,” he adds with a faint smile.
“Actually, you should probably make that six,” I hesitate to say, which has West casting a questioning look toward me.
“Six?”
“You forgot Ricky.”
The look he gives next says he could never forget Ricky. Seeing as how his permanent place of residence seems to be just under West’s skin.
“I know he’s not your favorite person in the world, but he’s one of the few I trust,” I add.
West could not be unhappier with what I’ve just proposed, but I believe he knows I’m right. Ricky may be stubborn as hell, and a little cocky, but he’s also the most resourceful person I know. Plus, he’s a friend, and I don’t have many of those.
“Six,” he repeats with a nod, but as a statement this time, instead of a question.
I don’t know what’ll come of us all working together, but I can say for sure that we’ll accomplish more as a team than I would on my own.
A team.
Feels so weird to say I actually have one of those, but this guy standing in front of me today is proving to be a rock. I don’t know, maybe it’s not so crazy to think we’ll actually figure this out.
It’s obvious I have enough faith in us that I’m willing to give it a shot, which has to mean something, right?
Deciding to give someone my heart is hard enough, but giving someone my trust… that almost never happens.
I guess if a girl’s going to be blindsided by a guy, being totally knocked off her feet by how amazing he is would be the best possible scenario.
@QweenPandora: You’re so vain you probably think this post is about you.
Well, I suppose they usually are, but today I’ve got a bit of a treat for you lovelies.
This one’s about me.
It seems I’ve ruffled the wrong feathers somewhere along the way and there’s a rumor going around that someone’s using their power for evil. In short, there’s a witch hunt in Cypress Pointe and guess who these misguided souls are hoping to find.
Yep, you guessed it—yours truly.
While I’m certain letting me know I’m being pursued was meant to strike fear, I’m rather flattered. Am I really so good that the mere thought of me existing in my little slice of the web has you shaking in your boots?
Who would’ve guessed little old me had that kind of power?
Maybe I’m selling myself short only dishing dirt on Cypress Prep’s elite. Perhaps I should consider going national. You’ve given me much to consider.
At any rate, it seems this little game of cat and mouse is officially on.
Catch me if you can, but be warned: I’m much, MUCH better at this than you are. And if you do manage to get me in a corner, be careful. I’ve got one nasty bite.
Be seeing you soon.
Later, Peeps.
—P