SWNOVELS Chapter Forbidden 41
Worries
I wake hearing talking, but keep my eyes closed and stay in the warmth of Jasper's arms.
"I should have fought the first time I went by. I didn't see why he would fucking lie! I had hurt her, I assumed she needed time to heal after I screamed in her face." I hear my dad and I know he's on about Joel. "She's fine, that's all that matters right now. You go kicking off, and it proves to her she did the right thing hiding it." Jasper speaks and I move, my dad looks at me, as I sit up.
"Princess." He looks at me and I can tell he is feeling guilty. "Why wouldn't
what wou tell me? Hell, you let me let him drag you out knowing
what would happen! You fucking married him rather than just saying what he was doing!"
"I tried, but Diesel dragged me out. I deserved it anyway." I did, for what I did with Jasper, I deserved my dad ignoring me and sending me
away.
"Princess no! Why would you think that?"
"Because of what I was doing with Jasper. I knew you would hate me for it, and did it anyway. I destroyed your relationship with your best friend. Also, for not protecting Ivy." I failed her, as a big sister I know I
did.
"Me and Jasper are fine princess. It was the shock, and the fact I
thought he had used you. He proved me wrong, I left him half dead in
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the club and he showed up at the house with a broken leg and arm telling me he wouldn't walk away. He loved you, I couldn't hate him for that." I turn and look at Jasper. He didn't tell me that.
"Your dad had left, and I realised I didn't want to just let you walk. So I was willing to forgive you for what happened with Joel. I went to your dad's, I didn't know you had been sent away. I went to your flat, I went to the club where you worked. I tracked down your old place and found Joel. He told me you never wanted to see me again and I left."
That first day was Jasper, that is who had knocked when I was banging, and Joel tied me down.
"I was there." He looks at me confused. "I heard someone knocking, I began banging, hoping whoever it was would hear me, but he tied my hands and feet down so I couldn't."
"I should have insisted on speaking to you but I was hurting still, I didn't want to be hurt more by your confirming his words." Jasper looks at me and I shake my head. It's not his fault.
"Princess, when are you due?" I look at my dad and realise he will know I'm pregnant, I hadn't even thought of it.
"I don't know." They both look at me shocked. "Joel wouldn't let me see anyone. He had a plan of getting someone to come out when I had the baby and help, then sell it. That changed and he realised he could use the baby to keep me there by threatening to kill it if I leave." Jasper looks at me shocked, his hand tightening on my hip.
"You need to have a scan princess. At least to check when you're due and if everything is okay. Jasper will sort it, not for today, maybe in a few days." He looks at me and I nod, not arguing.
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"I'm sorry princess. The way I acted with Rob, breaking his arm for touching your ass made you scared to tell me. I won't say I promise not to kill anyone, because that would be a lie, but I will try to make it less. known so if anything happens again, you can tell me."
I nod to his words, knowing I won't tell him. I feel myself drifting to sleep again, not long after waking in Jasper's bed. Walking out I make my way to the living room.
"If you give me two minutes I will wake her, and you can tell her." I look towards Jasper, he's on the phone. He turns and sees me. "She's here." He holds out the phone and I take it, looking at him confused.
"Hello?"
"Princess." I smile hearing my dad. "Look, I won't be coming back."
"What do you mean daddy?" I feel myself panicking. “If this is because. of Jasper I will stay away, I promise.”
"Princess no, I'm sorry. Joel is dead, and I need to go hand myself in as they will be led back to you and Jasper and I can't have you two in trouble."
"No, I just came back. I can't do this alone." He can't leave already. I feel myself panicking, Jasper's arms wrapping around me.
"Princess you got through so much shit alone, you can get through the
alone, you won't be though. Jasper ist there, and he fucking loves you, so
rest of your life without me screw him over!"
I feel myself crying. "It's not you though."
"I'm sorry princess, but this has to be done. Take care of Jasper, if you break his heart again he will never get over it."
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"No! You can't do this." I feel myself panicking, I told myself I would be fine with them, but he's going.
"I love you princess."
"Daddy, no!" I hear the phone cut off and stand shocked.
"Baby girl." Turning I look at Jasper.
"We need to go stop him."
"We can't, he's already there."
"Why would he do it? That is exactly why I didn't tell him, why wouldn't he listen!" I scream and throw the phone, his hands grasping
1. me.
"He didn't baby girl!"
I look up at him confused. "What? Then why is he saying he did?" I don't get it. "It was you?" I stare at him shocked.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think I had killed him, I was trying to find the keys and he attacked me again, I kicked and just assumed he had passed out. I never thought he was dead. Your dad went that night to warn him to stay away, and found him."
I want to shout at him but I can't.
"Why is he saying he did it then?"
"He's not. Look, he's going to say he went by after I got you out. There's a chance they will arrest him and assume he did it. He's doing it to protect us both, it wouldn't be long before the police link me and you there. There's no evidence baby girl, so he shouldn't have issues."
"But..." I look around. "What if it doesn't go well? What if he actually gets done for it, or if they know it wasn't him and come for us?"
He leans forward and kisses me. "Calm." His hands hold me against him as he kisses me, and it somehow silences my mind of the worries. I don't know how he does it, but it works. His arms stay wrapped around my body as I cling to him.
"Trust me, baby girl. Trust me to look after you, and protect you, to have the answers even when you don't."
"I'm sorry." He lifts my head so I look at him. I can see he is confused. "For coming back into your life and messing everything up, you had moved on."
He chuckles slightly, shaking his head.
"Baby girl I didn't move on. I admitted I loved you, that didn't just disappear it was still there. I assumed you had meant what you said, so I forced myself to accept it was over."
"But the woman?"
"As bad as it sounds, I told myself to accept I would never have you or find someone like you and to settle. Baby girl I had told myself never to settle down, or fall in love and that changed with you. Which is why your dad and others realised I wasn't using you like I had so many other women."
"I found out the truth Daddy."
"About what baby girl?"
I thought that would have been obvious. "About you and women, and why you're how you were. It's one of the reasons I was going to leave
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that day, so you didn't get hurt."
"No, you were leaving to stop yourself getting hurt baby girl, by knowing you had hurt us." He smiles gently and I nod.
"It won't be easy, Daddy, I have got used to living without letting people in, I want to protect myself from the hurt." Too long has gone by while I block out the people.
"The thing is baby girl, you shut out the happiness, the warmth, the love, while ever you're trying to block the bad. You can't have good without bad. Had I done that baby girl I wouldn't have felt so in love with you, I would have seen you as another woman."
"What happens now?" I don't know the way forward.
"You have a scan tomorrow, I booked you a medical as well for the end of the week. Your dad's solicitor will be here in the morning."
"Why?" Why would he come here?
"Because your dad is signing everything over to you baby girl. The clubs, the house, his money everything." I stare shocked.
"No! He will need it, and what about my mum and Ivy?" He stands quiet and I can see he is worried, something has happened. "Why haven't I heard you or my dad mention my mum or Ivy?" I feel myself panicking.
"Sit, let me get you a drink and explain baby girl." I nod and walk to the sofa, sitting I watch as he makes us a drink and carries it over, sitting in front of me he smiles, but I can see he's worried. Why?