Chapter 10
TO SAY I felt lighter was a massive understatement.
I felt like a million bucks.
I’d thrown a fabulous fucking party.
Given Cutler a magical Easter egg hunt that he’d remember for years to come.
I’d had a few too many drinks.
I’d gotten off to thoughts of my best friend’s little sister.
And fuck me, if it wasn’t exactly what I’d needed.
Here’s the thing… fantasies are exactly that. They aren’t real. So, after being harassed all day about my bad mood, I knew what I needed. Five minutes alone in the bathroom, with thoughts of Saylor.
Her sweet mouth.
Her tight pussy.
Dirty thoughts.
Filthy thoughts.
And that was okay. Because I felt better. I hadn’t acted on anything. I just needed a release. I’d get my mojo back, find a woman who took my mind off her soon enough, and this would all be a hilarious memory that I took to the grave.
No one would be the wiser.
It was not disloyal to be attracted to Saylor. It would be disloyal to act on that attraction.
The leftover effects of the whiskey had me feeling damn good, too. I’d been making my way toward the bathroom to take a shower when my phone rang.
Nash’s name lit up my screen.
“What’s up?” I answered.
“What’s up, Uncle King?” Cutler’s voice had me grinning big.
“How are you doing, Beefcake?”
“Good. We just got home. I told Pops I had the best Easter ever. I can’t believe how many eggs that bunny brought for me. You must have said something to him, or maybe you know someone?”
I barked out a laugh. “Nah. It’s all you, dude. The Easter Bunny knows who deserves all the eggs.”
“Like Santa Claus knows I’m a good boy because my elf, Tater Tot, told him to bring me that motorized Jeep?”
This fucking kid, man.
He’d named his Christmas elf Tater Tot, which had been hilarious on its own… but Nash having to do all this elf shit every night was the funniest part of all. The guys and I got really into it, coming up with ideas every day to help him knock it out of the park. I’d built a mini fireplace for his elf, and we’d told him that Tater Tot must have built it.
We hadn’t had fairy-tale childhoods, so if we could give one to Cutler, we’d move fucking mountains to make that happen.
“Exactly. It’s impossible for anyone to miss that you’re the coolest kid on the planet.” I stepped into my bathroom and leaned against the vanity as I listened to the sound of his laughter.
“‘Cause I’ve got the coolest uncles and pops around. And now that I have all my girls by my side, it’s even better.”
“You’ve got a lot of girls, Beefcake. You better pace yourself.”
“I like all the girls, just like you, Uncle King. ‘Cause I want to be just like you when I grow up.”
“I thought you wanted to be just like me?” Nash grumped in the background, and I laughed.
“But Uncle King is the coolest. Even my other uncles told me that. They said he gets all the girls, and he builds things with his hands.”
I was laughing hard now, knowing Nash was irritated as hell.
“I build things with my hands, too,” Nash said, trying to act like he was irritated, but I heard the humor in his voice. I’d never known a better father than Nash Heart. He showed up every fucking day for his boy. He sacrificed and put his own needs aside. I only hoped I would be half the father he was if that day ever came.
“But you don’t get the girls, Pops.”
A fit of laughter coming from Cutler filled my ear, and I guessed Nash had scooped him up and was tickling him. “Hey, I’ve got you, Beefcake. I don’t need a girl. I’ve got all I need right here.”
My goddamn chest squeezed at his words.
Nash was raising this little guy on his own. Cutler’s mom, Tara, rarely came into town anymore, and he was doing this whole parenting thing solo. Well, with the help of his four misfit best friends.
“Okay, say goodbye to Uncle King. I’ve got to get this stink bomb into the bathtub,” Nash said over Cutler’s laughter.
“All right. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Have a good night.” I ended the call and reached over to turn on the water and stripped down before stepping into the shower.
Would it hurt to give myself some relief one more time today? Now that I’d let myself go there, it was all I could think about.
Something caught my eye as I contemplated things. My hand was literally ready—ready to give in to temptation once again. But there was a fucking dandelion right there, between my body wash and my shampoo.
I let the water beat down on my back as I thought about it.
When had she come in here?
There was no way in hell it was when I was in here.
I would have known if she was hiding in my shower, wouldn’t I?
Well, my need to grip my dick was no longer my priority. I had a flashback to the glorious minutes I’d given myself, and sure, I’d thought of Saylor. But I hadn’t said anything incriminating.
I washed my hair quickly as I thought about it.
I did have a habit of being somewhat vocal.
Women had always appreciated my charm right along with my filthy mouth.
Did I say her name aloud?
There was no way she was even in this bathroom at the same time. And the chance that I’d said her name aloud was slim.
I was overthinking this.
There was only one way to test the theory. I gripped my dick in my hand, hard. I didn’t have the luxury to take my sweet time. I stroked up and down, squeezing my eyes closed and seeing her face.
Her lips part as I drop to my knees.
I bury my face between her thighs and hike her legs over my shoulders.
I lick her sweet pussy, and she responds by tangling her fingers in my hair.
My tongue slips inside as she rides my face, and the sound of her falling apart against my lips is more than I can handle.
My breaths were coming hard and fast as I found my release on a groan. “Fuck, Saylor.”
Fuck me.
Well, I’d always been a verbal guy. No arguing that.
But the likelihood that she’d been in the bathroom was so minute. I had nothing to worry about. I cleaned myself up and turned off the water. I dried my hair off quickly before wrapping a towel around my waist and stepping out of the shower. My phone vibrated on the counter, and I glanced down.
DANDELION
Just wanted to thank you for today. It was such a great party.
She wouldn’t be acting normal if she knew what I’d done in the bathroom. Hell, she probably wouldn’t be able to look at me, much less speak to me, if she knew the thoughts going through my head twenty-four hours a day.
This was a good sign. I could definitely feel her out. I dropped my towel and went to my room to pull on a pair of briefs before climbing into bed and texting her back.
You know I don’t mind hosting. You and Ruby did all the hard work. You let me off easy. By the way, I just took a shower and found a little something in there. You’re getting stealthier.
DANDELION
I try.
I never saw you sneak away. How’d you pull that off?
DANDELION
I knew I needed to up my game because I can’t have you showing me up.
Sneaking into a man’s bathroom is risky.
DANDELION
There were no risks taken. You were busy smoking cigars by the firepit. It was a piece of cake.
Relief flooded. She hadn’t heard a damn thing.
It was a good night. I saw you talking with your mom for a while. How was that?
DANDELION
It’s hard, you know? She’s staying with a man who has caused our family a lot of pain. I don’t know how to handle that sometimes. I know that Hayes wants me to just draw a line in the sand, but I can’t do that to her. I don’t know why.
I leaned my back against the headboard and thought about it. I understood Saylor’s need to fix things with her mother, but I also respected Hayes’s need to protect her from something toxic.
It’s because you have a big heart. The best heart. Always have. You feel things deeply. No shame in that. But Hayes has witnessed too much. He’s seen the way it’s hurt you. What it’s done to your family. So, I guess you’re both right.
DANDELION
I struggle with the finality of drawing that line in the sand, you know? My brother is the best man I know (of course, you’re right there with him <winky face emoji>). I love him so much, but he has to let me figure things out for myself. I’m not a kid anymore. I need to navigate my own relationship with my mother.
I scrubbed a hand over my jaw.
I think walking in on that horrible scene all those years ago really traumatized Hayes, you know? Seeing you fall the way you did. You were unconscious, Saylor.
We’d never talked about what happened since she’d left my house all those years ago. Hayes went silent after that, too, aside from sharing his anger toward his stepfather. She’d shared more with me than he probably knew she had during the months she lived at my house. And I’d never repeated anything that she’d told me.
DANDELION
I know. I remember it like it was yesterday. I still have nightmares sometimes about coming to and seeing Hayes on top of Barry. About being taken out of our home. All of it. But I lived it, too. And I should be allowed to deal with the aftermath the way I best see fit.
I understand that. He just loves you so damn much. In his mind, you’re his only family, Saylor. Aside from all of us, of course. But you know what I mean.
DANDELION
And I love him so much it hurts. But he’s not my father. He’s my brother. It’s just so messy, and I hate that things are so complicated.
It doesn’t have to be. At the end of the day, you both love one another, and that’s all that matters. That man would walk through fire for you.
DANDELION
That’s why I want to prove myself to him. I know how much Hayes has sacrificed for me. It kills me when I think about it. All the things he’s given up for me.
When they’d been allowed to go back to their parents’ home after more than six months of living apart, things had been rocky. Hayes had ended up turning down a college football scholarship, and he’d started training to be a firefighter, working two jobs at the time, to get an apartment so that Saylor could live with him until she graduated from high school. He’d become her legal guardian at the time, with no argument from their mother, and he’d sacrificed a lot—and he had zero regrets.
He wouldn’t want you feeling bad about any of that. That’s what you do for family.
DANDELION
Well, you did the same thing for me, King. I don’t know that I ever thanked you enough for that.
It was nothing. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
DANDELION
I wouldn’t have survived back then without you. And now you worked your ass off to get my bookstore up and going. What would I do without you?
You’ll never have to find out. Remember, you saved me back then, too. Teaching me how to wish on dandelions was a game changer. <winky face emoji>
DANDELION
Yeah? Well, River seems happier than I’ve ever seen him, which I know is what you always wanted for your brother. And now you got my bookstore up quicker than expected. How about you close your eyes and wish for something for yourself?
So, your theory is that if I close my eyes, I’m going to see what I want?
I reached for my whiskey that I’d set on the nightstand beside the bed and took a long pull.
DANDELION
Just trust me. It works every time.
I already have everything I want.
DANDELION
Stop being so stubborn. Close your damn eyes and tell me what you see.
I chuckled. She was cute as hell when she was bossy.
Fine. You know I never could say no to you. I’m closing my eyes now.
When I squeezed my lids closed, I saw Saylor’s face.
Aqua blue eyes.
Pouty, plump lips.
And just like that, my eyes popped open as my dick sprung to life.
DANDELION
Well, what did you see?
I saw a glass of whiskey—and seeing as I have one right here in my hand, I guess my wish has already come true.
I shook my head, disgusted with myself.
I’d gotten off to her twice tonight, and now I was seeing her every time I closed my eyes.
It was time to pull my head out of my ass and get my shit together.
This ends now.
DANDELION
You’re no fun. I thought you’d see something good.
She had no fucking idea just how good it was.