SWNOVELS Chapter 13~You are worth it!
Lynette’s POV~
I’m hurt! I want to be mad…but I can understand exactly how he’s feeling. I’ve been watching Liam walk around the tree I’m in for ten minutes…”Liam, I’m up here” He looks up and holds his arms up for me to jump into. And I did. He sat down with his back against a tree…and me in his lap..he says “Don’t be too hard on him… he’s scared and he was venting. He didn’t mean to upset you, sister.” I replied..” He meant it! I would have meant it, in his shoes. His whole life… His entire life.. He has had one task. One goal. He’s known from birth who he is meant to be! He is Alpha! And everyone knows Alphas live in black and white. Then..here I come…an entire prism of color that has never had a goal..a reason to exist.. By all intents and purposes…my mother’s rejection should have killed me. Then, he would have gotten a nice, milk toast girl with no baggage…and his life would still be on its given path. I’m fooling myself, even being here. He deserves someone with no drama. He should just reject me. This stupid prophecy ruined everything! I should just leave and go live in the kingdom! I could pretend I knew what I was doing.. And order people around. Lay on a chaise lounge and eat bon-bons all day.. If I knew what bon- bons were and where to find them. I think they must be expensive candy that only rich people can eat..and only then , if some cabana type-boy is feeding them to me.. because, apparently, when you’re super rich, feeding yourself makes your food taste bad!”And I laughed. Liam snorted “ If you leave..I go too! And Blaze would come…because he’s Gamma and he takes that very seriously! I will become the Royal Beta and sit as your right hand man. And we can sleep in different rooms every night. And slide down bannisters and skate in the ballroom. Because who’s to tell us no? You’re the Queen! And You can do anything! Lyn…don’t leave my brother..please? It would destroy him! We can figure this out. Just don’t give up on him..okay? I punched him in the mouth…you know? And now, I want bon- bons!” I giggled. “You really punched him??” I kissed his cheek and thanked him for being a great brother!
“I’m hungry and wanting chocolate.. maybe a nutella/peanut butter/graham cracker sandwich…or ten… Then, I’m going to take a shower and go to bed. Everything will look better in the morning because that’s some lame shit my grandma used to say..well, not really my grandma, probably..but someone’s grandma, right? I am going to tackle those books until something makes sense! I will see you in the morning “ I told him. And I left him sitting by the tree
I’m just exhausted! Overwhelmed! Upset with my mother… She may not have known about a prophecy. But she knew who her father was! And she knew what my birthmark meant! And I am pissed! I am not the person to sit quietly.. and that’s what I did..when Damien went off! I walk into the room and am relieved he isn’t in here. I grab a pair of sweats and a half tee… walking into the bathroom, I lock the door and fill the tub. Once I get in the water and lay back…I can feel my muscles relaxing. I need this!
I stayed in the tub for a half hour and just let my mind go blank! Now I’m toweled off so I can get dressed and in bed. Just no more thinking today! Please! I step out of the bathroom and Damien is sitting on the side of the bed.. I walked to the other side and climbed under the covers..lying on my side..facing away from him. Yes. I’m pouting.
He asks “can we talk” I replied “you can talk.. I will listen. And if I decide to talk, I will let you know”. He mumbles “Fair enough! I am so sorry. Everything came down on me and I got scared. I was selfish. I didn’t see the bigger picture of ‘we’ and ‘us’ and I will never be able to apologize enough!
It was like being crushed! Liam lectured me. Your mom and my dad lectured me. Liam even punched me! And I deserved it!” He started to cry and asked “Please don’t reject me. Don’t leave me. I won’t survive it! I need you! I love you, Lyn! I will be and do anything you need from me! Just promise me…I get to keep you”
I rolled over and looked at his back. His shoulders slumped and his head in his hands. He looked dejected. And sad. And I am still hurt! I spoke “Tomorrow morning, I am researching this prophecy…until I know everything there is to learn.. but in my heart…I know something bad is coming. Something evil…and all wolves will suffer! Unless I can adhere as closely as possible to this fucking prophecy…and I fear the only way to do that is to reestablish the kingdom. I didn’t ask for this. I have been a nobody my whole life. My mother..the only person I had…the one person I trusted…has literally lied to me..my whole life! So no! You don’t get to make this all about you. Or throw all the sacrifices you would make at me…and then make me feel like it’s my fault! We could have talked. We could have found compromise… but it was you being imposed upon…only you feeling overwhelmed.. I love you. I don’t want a life without you.. but I’m not the one giving everything up! I’m tired, Damien. I’m not rejecting you. I will uncover everything I can about what is coming..then you will have to decide what is worth it and what isn’t.”
He scooted onto the bed and pulled me to him. And I let him. I just want to sleep! He whispered “ You are worth it! Where you go….I go!” I replied…” Why don’t you call a meeting in the morning and discuss all of this with your pack. Let them know what you’re feeling…going through..they might just surprise you!” He leaned down and kissed my head..and that’s the last thing I remember before I fell asleep!