Flip (Next Level Book 2)

I’m not sure what the hell happened between Erin and I just now, but until I figure out how to navigate it, I’m going to move slow. I swear she’s in the bathroom to avoid me a little longer, and there’s a pang of guilt in my belly about it, but I’m not backing down in my pursuit of her until she tells me to.

For now, I’ll clean up the mess I made at her dinner table so she doesn’t have to.

By the time I hear the toilet flush upstairs—thanks to the old plumbing in this house—I’ve taken care of everything and just have to wash the dishes. It’s not until I hear Erin say, “Oh my god.” When I notice she’s been crying.

The dish towel in my hand falls to the floor, and I rush over to her. “Hey. Whoa. What’s going on with you?”

“I can’t believe you cleaned this all up.”

Why not? I’m the one that made the damn mess. And the fact that I’ve taken care of it shouldn’t have her voice quivering like it is. I’m on her in an instant, guiding her towards the living room and onto the couch. “Come on, baby. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She wipes her eyes. “Everything.” She sniffles. “Oh my god, I’m a dumpster fire. You should leave. Cut your losses now, Trey.”

What the ever-loving fuck is she talking about? “Cut my losses?”

“I’m just going to hold you back. I can’t do relationships. I can’t even do sex.”

It’s hard to keep up with her ramblings, but I do my best. “What’s all this about?” Because this breakdown isn’t because of a fucking dinner date. “And why would you think you’re going to hold me back? Hold me back from what?”

“From life!” She yells at me. “From success! From everything fun and great and right in your face!”

The only thing right in front of my face is the woman I’m in love with, crying over something I don’t understand. I don’t want to leave but staying seems to only make her more upset. I just want her happy. “Maybe I should go.”

“Maybe you should.”

Fuck, my heart falls out of my ass. The way she flips her switch all the time is maddening. Why can’t she just give in and let things play out in their own natural way?

Because she’s been hurt.

I refuse to be another person in her life that hurts her.

“Okay.” I stand to leave, gritting my teeth so I can hold back what I really want to say. I don’t get past the coffee table before Erin stands up and grabs my arm. She holds onto me, silently stopping me from going away. God damnit. “I feel like I’m missing some big pieces here. It would be nice to know what they are.”

“Look around you, Trey.”

I can’t seem to break my gaze from her red, puffy eyes. It kills me that she’s so upset, and I don’t know how to fix it. “What am I supposed to be looking at?” Because I’m pretty sure what I see isn’t what she sees.

“I’m a single mom.”

I know.

“I’m still in my parent’s old house.”

I know.

“Look at my sofa.”

It’s worn down and hideous, but comfortable as a cloud. I don’t have to look at it to know it’s got stains and a dip on the left cushion because it’s her favorite side to sit on.

Erin jabs her finger towards the dining room. “Look at my dinner table. Look at the carpet and the paint and the floor and those kitchen cabinets!”

They could use some TLC. So what? “Are you done?”

“No!” She puts her hands on her hips, and the new pajama set she’s wearing looks fantastic on her. Donuts this time, since the penguins are now in the laundry I’d started. “Look at me, Trey.”

“I am.” My tone is cautious and stern. “I see you with crystal clarity.” I drag my gaze up and down her form. Then I nod at the sofa first. “That couch has seen better days. Bet you never wanted to replace it because, one, it was decent when your parents died, and you didn’t have the cash to get a new one back then it even if you wanted to. Two, you had a baby, and what’s the point of putting new furniture in the house when a toddler is just going to spill things on it. Same for the dinner table, going off the fact that there’s marker and paint and glue stuck to it because Beetle went through a big craft phase in kindergarten.”

Her cheeks flare red.

I’m not done. “The carpet is stained all to hell because the patio door…” I point to it, “is right there. So Beetle just comes in and out all day long and drags dirt in all the time. Dirt,” I stress, “from the backyard you’ve made into a dynamite playground for him.” Even though it’s dark out, I can see the bike ramp and trampoline in the moonlight. “You’re a single mom doing an amazing job with her kid. Just like you were an orphan doing a great job raising her brother.”

Erin’s shoulders shake as she quietly cries.

“Paint is a pain in the ass to color match,” I continue even though it kills me to see her upset, “and I know you’re attached to this buttercup yellow.”

She sucks in a breath and gawks at me like the knowledge surprises her.

It shouldn’t. If I haven’t proven that I know everything about Erin by now, then she’s not been paying any attention to what I say and do around her.

“How did you—”

I step into her space. “You said, at the graduation party you threw for Glitch, that this was your mom’s favorite color and also yours.” That was years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. She wore a light blue sundress and didn’t bother to wear shoes the whole time.

Erin drops back down on the couch and covers her face with both hands.

Guess I struck a chord. I’m not sorry about it. “I imagine letting anyone into your extremely fortified and carefully closed off life is hard, Erin.” I squat down in front of her. “I’m not here to make it more difficult. I want to make it…” What? Easier? More fun? Anything I say will be used against me or imply that she’s not done a banging job by herself. “I just want to be part of it.”

“You already are. You have been since college.”

The way she says “college” clues me in on another underlying issue. One I’ll table for now. “I want to be a bigger part of it.” That’s the bottom line. I can help make things easier and better for her if she’ll let me. But most importantly, I just want to experience this life with her. I’ve spent too many nights imagining being her man and now that I’m so close to having a taste of it, there’s no way I’m backing down now.

“I love sharing laughs with you, baby. I love watching Beetle have fun outside. I love the way I walk through your front door and my chest feels light and happy because you’re the first face I see.”

Even though I know Erin’s had a real rough time, she makes life look easy. This woman is an expert at hiding her stress.

Until now, I guess.

Erin swipes her tears and sighs. “I lost my job.”

Glitch told me already. “You’ll get a new one.” If she needs money, I’m sure her brother has it covered. I’ll ask him about it later because I’ll definitely contribute. “Bet you have ten job interviews lined up for next week.”

She chokes on her half-hearted laugh. “Only three.”

“Three bomb-ass employers that would be so lucky to hire you.”

“They’re not what I want, but I’m desperate enough to take whatever I can for now.”

I fear she’s been doing that since she was eighteen. “What do you want to do?”

“Sleep for a week.” She knows what I mean, and her snarky answer earns her a pluck on the nose. “Ouch!”

“Try again.”

“I want to be an interior designer.”

My eyebrows shoot to my hairline.

“Hey, don’t judge my skills based on this!” She bristles, waving her hands around. “I’ve got ideas.”

I can’t help but look around her living room and try really hard to not offend her with my expression. “Well, you’ll give Joanna Gaines a run for her money, I have no doubt.”

“You don’t think I can?”

It’s not hard to imagine Erin barking orders and managing a crew of construction workers, picking out paint and trim, plus arguing with someone about floor installation. I just feel sad that her house is falling to pieces around her—including the hot water heater—and she’s not even able to express herself with her own home.

“You’re right.” Exhaustion laces her tone. “I haven’t changed anything here because I couldn’t afford it back then, and I don’t see the point in it now. My son is a wrecking ball covered in mud most days.”

“My mom used to say my brothers and I were hurricanes looking for a place to hit.”

“I can’t imagine having a house full of boys.”

“Mom ran a tight ship. Had to, or we’d plan a mutiny at the first sign of weakness.” I sit down next to her. “Money was tight for us all the time too.”

My parents worked hard, but bills stacked high because my oldest brother had serious health issues growing up.

“I never meant for any of this to happen.” Erin leans back on the couch and stares at the TV that’s turned off.

“You mean your parents and Beetle?”

She scrubs her face and sighs. “I mean letting myself get this bitter.”

Bitter is the last word I’d use to describe Erin. She’s bright, strong, supportive, and under a lot of pressure. But bitter? Never. Sitting down next to her, I put my hand on her thigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to suggest—”

“I know.” She smiles at me for a heartbeat. “If I could do it all again, I wouldn’t have had my parents die. I mean, their car crash was definitely not my fault. And Beetle…” she trails off for a moment. “I was on the pill and never missed a day taking it, plus we used a condom. Never in a million years would I think with that much protection I’d still get pregnant. But the condom burst, and I guess that one percent was more like one hundred percent that night.”

“Damn.” I had no idea it went down like that. Glitch never really said much about how Erin got pregnant. He once mentioned that the father had nothing to do with either Erin or her son, so Glitch always took care of things whenever they needed him to, and I never questioned the dynamic. “Have you seen the father at all?”

“I told him I was pregnant the instant I found out.”

My entire body coils with her next words.

“He insisted I was lying about him being the father. He threw a wad of money at me, called me a whore, and told me to abort it. He said this baby wasn’t holding him back and neither would I. That was our one and only interaction after that night we slept together.”

I’m going to find this cocksucker and bury him alive.

“But…” She looks out the window across from us. “I saw him about six months ago. After college, he moved away from here, but I guess he came back to visit family or something. He looked right at me and Brendan as we were coming out of Target. I swear time froze and everything moved in slow motion. He looked me deadass in the face, then at our… my son… and kept walking like he didn’t see us at all.”

Bastard.

“I was so dumbstruck, I almost backed into a light pole leaving the parking lot. I’m not sure what I thought he’d do if he ever saw us but acting like we were invisible wasn’t it.”

“Would you rather he tried to rekindle a relationship of some kind?”

“God no. He doesn’t deserve Brendan in his life.” She leans her head on my shoulder and relaxes. “I guess I was hoping that I’d look so spectacular, and Brendan would be so happy and well mannered, that the prick would take one look at what he threw away and then…” she yawns, “lightning would strike him down and he’d blow up or something.”

We both start laughing.

“We were always better off without him.”

I think she’s right about that. Anyone who would throw Erin aside doesn’t deserve her. And Brendan? That kid is incredible. He’s… everything.

“I heard he’s married now, with three kids all under the age of five. I hope they piss in his bed every night.”

“Wow! From lightning strikes to bed-wetting.”

“I mean, a girl can dream.”

Yes, she can. I kiss the top of her head and feel the tension leave her body as she curls up closer to me. “Thanks for cleaning up the dinner mess.”

“Thanks for letting me make the dinner mess in the first place.”

“I mean, I started it by pouring the wine on myself.”

“After I shoved the dishes off the table.”

“That was fun and exciting.”

“Good.” I grab her hand and pull her onto my lap. “I’m hoping for a repeat before I have to leave.”

Erin’s brow furrows. “How long did you plan to stay in town?”

“I have my laptop with me, so I can work remotely.” Am I laying some groundwork here? Yes. “But I do have to get back by Monday for a meeting.”

That leaves me with five days to spend as much time with my beautiful girl as possible. Not nearly enough, but it’s a start.

Erin looks like she’s calculating something. “Do you like your job?”

“Yeah,” I say easily. “It’s fun. I get to make my own hours and work for some great clients. I mean, sometimes it sucks when I get a pain in the ass client who micromanages, but it beats working in an office nine to five.”

Erin lightly chuckles and shakes her head. “No wonder you and Glitch are best friends.”

Glitch owns a computer and gaming shop in town. The boy genius got into MIT on a full ride, graduated top of our class, and settled down where his roots were already—back in this small town. He’s made a killing with his shop though. The Computer Cave is a haven for kids and there’s probably no piece of technology Glitch can’t fix. He’s worked hard to become successful his own way, and now he’s stepping into the next phase of his happiness—marrying the love of his life. I envy him.

When I graduated, I got a job working in the gaming industry. It was fun for about five years, then I took a page from Glitch’s book and decided I’d be happier following my passion in graphic design. I’m still in the gaming industry—on the marketing side instead of coding—but I love working with authors most.

After readjusting Erin on my lap, I tuck a few stray strands of her dark hair behind her ear. The sexual tension between us has completely fizzled out, but that’s okay. I’m happy to have her in my arms like this.

Honestly, I’m thrilled to have Erin any way I can get her. Naked and on her knees covered in my cum, in the backyard reading a book in her favorite wicker chair, or on the couch in her donut pjs. I just love being near her.

This growing silence between us is getting awkward though. “Want to catch that Scream marathon?”

Erin grins at me. “Yeah. Let’s do it.” She reaches over and snags the remote from the coffee table and hands it to me. “You find the channel while I’ll grab some snacks.”

When she returns with a bag of pretzels and two waters, I’ve got Ghostface on the TV and it’s right at the part where the dude sucks the blood off his fingers.

“This is legit my favorite part.”

My girl’s kinks are wild. I love it.

“Here, get comfy.” I wait for her to settle in and then put a blanket on her. She smiles at me, and I swear my heart tries to explode.

I love taking care of this woman, even in small ways like this. Grabbing her ankles, I place her feet on my lap and rub them while we watch the rest of the movie. She falls asleep about ten minutes in. Once I’m sure she’s out for the count, I carry her upstairs and put her in bed. Then I crash on the couch imagining how it would feel being married to a woman like Erin and having a son like Beetle. 

Hey, a guy can dream too, right?