SWNOVELS Flawed Heart: Chapter 29
I don’t know what to feel when I step off the plane in New Zealand, only to have Zander take my hand and lead us toward baggage claim. He’s here. He’s in the place I now call home, the country I ran to in order to escape him in the past. Peeking at him in my sunglasses, he walks with ease, a look of interest on his face. That makes me happy because I truly wouldn’t know how to feel if he disliked it. Since the beginning, I’ve made it known I intend to stay here. Zander knows my work is here and that starting a relationship means long-distance at times.
He hurries us over to the luggage corral and grabs our bags, all while I’m lost in thought. I’m in New Zealand with Zander.
“Did you text Tabbi? She said she would send the car for you once she heard we’re here,” he reminds me, and I quickly take my phone out. Everything is a whirlwind right now.
By the time we make it through customs and security, the car is waiting for us. I instantly recognize Cliff and introduce him to Zander.
“Where are the boys? They aren’t with you?”
I swallow past the pain instantly lodged in my throat at the mention of Spyder and Becks. Zander studies me with concern. The guys chose to stay in the US for now, to work on new music. Their trip to the US was immensely successful, and before their next tour, they wanted time to create. That’s what Spyder told me when he hugged me goodbye at the hotel in Atlanta. Becks didn’t come to say goodbye.
Everyone was going their separate ways for a while after Atlanta. Onyx had a few shows he was still committed to, through a contract down in Florida, then he was going back to his home and taking Jade with him, much to her dismay. Ocean bought her own home in New York and wanted to get back to settle in. She offered for Jade to join her, and they were trying to work something out. And here I was, working on the next steps for my clients, while also hoping Zander would fall in love with this country.
“No,” I finally answer Cliff, “I finally put them to work. With things taking off, they need less beaching and partying.” I wink at Cliff in the mirror. For the rest of the ride, he catches us up on what’s been happening.
When we pull up to my office, for the first time, I feel nervous. Zander has been prepping his whole life to take over Knight Industries. Their number of employees and size are vastly different from mine. I made a huge deal about finding my independence and being free, but what if it seems childish in his eyes?
We get out of the car and walk up to the entrance. Rosen Records is printed on the front door in brush strokes. My hand shakes a little in Zander’s grasp.
“Are you okay?” He glances at me with concern. “Baby, we can always stop by tomorrow too and just go home and rest tonight. Tabbi told you things would be fine until then.”
“I want to check-in first, so it feels more like a vacation with you while you’re here,” I tell him, biting my lip. I also just want to get this over with. I’m a nervous wreck for him to see this side of me. Zander nods and follows me through the doors, with his hand at my back guiding me.
We stop in my office, and I watch as he takes in the white and black designs with pops of rose-gold, here and there. I love my office, and since it’s where I had been spending the majority of my time while launching a business, I wanted it to be both comfortable and functional. After that, we find Tabbi. To my surprise, Zander and Tabbi interact as if they’ve known each other for years. I keep looking at them both, believing I’m in an alternate universe.
“I told her I knew I had a lot to make up for but that I was serious about you and me. I also wanted her to help me keep you healthy and safe when I leave at the end of the week,” Zander explains and then it all makes sense. He’s roped her into his caveman tendencies.
Tabbi eyes me knowingly during the whole exchange. Then she updates me about anything I need to complete for the week. Not that there is any. I completed all my tasks and worked ahead, so I would be free to sightsee with Zander.
“Are you feeling up to the Cuckoo’s Nest tonight?” Tabbi asks on our way out.
I glance at Zander, who raises his brow at me. I can practically hear him in my head begging me to turn the invitation down for tonight. “We will later this week,” I tell her, “I kind of just want to get home and unpack.”
Once we’re back in the car and heading to my place, I feel a sense of relief. Maybe it’s knowing that when I’m gone, Tabbi can manage well on her own, or maybe it’s just having Zander in my space and feeling supported by him. He asked questions and had genuinely seemed interested while looking around Rosen Records. I glance at him only to find he’s already looking at me.
“Yes?” I smile at him.
“Rosen Records is impressive. I’m proud of you, Amelia,” he responds, taking my hand and rubbing his thumb over my wrist, giving me shivers. I practically become a puddle over his praise.
“Thank you, Zan. That means a lot to me.”
His eyes flare with hunger, and I realize it’s for me. We’re getting closer to my house, and yet, it feels so far away. Zander’s gaze is practically stripping me naked back here. Between the way he looks at me, the leather against my skin and the vibration of the engine under us, my skin starts to get hot. I can feel his eyes everywhere, and I think we need to get back to my place faster. My need for him should scare me. It hasn’t been that long since I’ve had him last, but there is no denying the energy in the back of this car. He wants me just as much as I want him.
When we pull up to my little bungalow-style home, I thank Cliff while Zander grabs our bags. I hurry in front of him to get the door unlocked. It feels like a silent timer is on me. His eyes trail heat down my back, making my core tighten and my legs feel wobbly. It’s almost ridiculous how gone for him I feel right now. Somehow, I manage to get the door open, and we both step inside the world I had been building before Zander bulldozed his way back into my life. He feels too large for my home, his presence so empowering and intoxicating. He’s dark, where everything in here is light and airy. He draws me in, my attention on him while his eyes touch on everything inside my house.
Our gazes connect, and I can feel the turmoil in him. He loves it, yet hates it because this is where I live. So far away from him, across oceans. I can feel his fear, sense his control snap. I jump into his arms right as he reaches me, our lips colliding in a desperate need to consume each other. I kiss him like I’m never leaving him. Zander’s kisses convey he wouldn’t let me even if I tried. Then he uses his body to do the same.
“This is where you worked?” Zander looks up at the sign over the door of Black Magic Ink, with appreciation in his eyes. I run my eyes over Zander and all the places I know he is covered in his own black ink, with images detailing his life. His arms right now are on display in the t-shirt he’s wearing, and I want to kiss each piece of art I see.
“Yup. It was a great job, my boss was awesome, and I loved helping people find what they wanted to get inked on them or search for inspiration for their tattoos. I also met Spyder here,” I confide, my voice quiet. It’s been three days since we arrived in New Zealand and Zander’s time here is already running out. Today is the only time we’ve made it out of my house to sightsee, or, as Zander puts it, for me to show him how I live. He wants to know what the places look like when I tell him where I am. We still haven’t talked much about what our long-distance relationship looks like now that we’ll be more than a two-hour plane ride away from each other. There are so many things to say and plan, but Zander has kept me occupied…on every surface of my home. In the shower, in the bed, on the deck, everywhere. The fact that we’re even walking today is a small miracle.
“You don’t want to look at me that way, Amelia.” Zander leans down to whisper in my ear; he has one hand on the door of the shop and we’re paused outside.
“Why not?” I raise my brow, baiting him. It’s no secret I’ve been just as desperate for him as he has been for me.
“We’ll have to leave. And I know you want to see Fletch. Plus, I have my own surprise too.” He smirks at me.
“This is the first time I’m hearing this, what surprise?” I question, but he just keeps silent and opens the door, ushering us in.
My big, burly boss waits at the front desk, glancing up once the door chimes. It’s been a few years since I worked here, but I still see Fletch around town and at bars. We have a lot of the same friends, Spyder included.
“You’re here for ink today?”
I shake my head smiling. “No, just showing this one around.” I point at Zander, but he holds out his hand to Fletch, who reaches over and shakes his.
“Yes, Zander Knight. My appointment is at one.”
My eyes fly to him a little shocked. “You’re getting inked by Fletch?”
“Surprise.” He lifts his eyebrows at me and kisses my cheek. “You have the image of the design I sent you?” He turns to Fletch.
“Yup,” Fletch nods, “I’m ready when you are. Are you going to wait or hang out in back?” Fletch turns to me.
“I want to watch.” I shrug and follow them to the back room.
Zander takes his shirt off and sits in the chair. I smirk at him, glad I chose not to miss this moment. Zander without clothes is a sight to behold, everything wet dreams are made of, and I need to stock pile these mental images for when he leaves.
While Fletch gets Zander ready, I catch him up on how things went for Rise Above, about my new clients and the successes we’ve been having. Fletch gets into it while we talk, his face the most animated I’ve ever seen. He and Zander talk and joke about me, and all I can think is how effortlessly Zander fits into my life here. He enjoys the people I care about, and even without knowing him completely, everyone has been open to accepting Zander. My stress and worry about him fitting into this life starts to chip away, and I feel free. I check my email while I listen to them continue bullshitting about guy things. It bothers me that York still hasn’t responded to my message about getting together when I’m back in a few months. I’ve contacted his secretary, and since that wasn’t getting me anywhere, I resorted to email. Still nothing. I sigh in frustration.
“What’s wrong, baby?’ Zander’s eyes find mine, and I see his concern because I’m not smiling.
“York’s secretary. I hate her. She’s the absolute worst. I feel like I can’t even talk to my brother.”
Zander frowns. “Hmm. I haven’t had any issues. But he did mention he hasn’t heard from you either.”
I stand straight. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I figured you were busy, and I was taking up the majority of your time. I told him I’d say something to you, but we’ve been a little busy since we got here.” He winks at me, and I fight the urge to blush.
“Let’s call him later,” I suggest, and Zander agrees before going back to a conversation with Fletch.
I’m so lost in my thoughts about my brother, I don’t even pay attention to Zander’s tattoo until Fletcher is done.
“What do you think, man?”
“It’s perfect.” Zander looks down over his left side and that’s when I see it.
Over his heart and tangled with the willow tree branches is a pink magnolia, just like the one on my wrist.
“Zan–” I’m at a loss of words. My eyes fill with tears, and my hand comes up to cover my mouth.
Fletch dips his head and exits the room, to give us a minute now that he’s finished putting plastic over the new ink. Zander gets up from the chair and stands in front of me, his large hands cupping my face.
“You’re always with me, Amelia,” he whispers and kisses my lips softly. I tremble in his grasp and fight to hold back my sniffles. The tears I can’t help; they just hit my cheeks, and I give him a small smile.
“You’re with me too” I tell him, placing my own hand over my heart. Zander inhales and his eyes darken, his gaze intense.
“I love you, Amelia.”
My world stops, and everything disappears until it’s just me and him, our hearts beating wildly together. It feels like this is the moment my whole life has led up to and everything feels so clear. I’ve never stopped loving Zander. He hurt me, and I did my best to move on and build my life. But I never forgot him. Life is giving us a second-chance, fate is bringing us back to each other. Whether it’s under willow trees or across continents, I know, without a doubt, I will never be able to remove Zander from my heart completely. I wasn’t meant to. My heart is his, and it always has been.
“I love you too. I never stopped.”
Zander’s lips touch mine again, and I can feel his love for me. His devotion, his desire. It’s passionate yet soft, fierce and controlled but still wild. This kiss is everything, and deep in my soul, I know it was always meant to be this way.