SWNOVELS Flawed Heart: Chapter 19
“Trending?”
“Yes,” Tabbi sighs into the phone again, “the media seems to love your connection to Allister Holdings and the fact that you are now a woman-owned business all on your own.”
“That sounds like it should be a good thing.” I giggle lightly at the exhausted way she groans.
“It is great, but we’ve been intercepting calls all day. A morning show in New York wants to interview you next week when you’re in town.” Tabbi rattles off a few more potential media interviews, both for me and Rise Above. I feel giddy, my excitement bubble is close to bursting and sprinkling glitter everywhere. This is what we’ve been dreaming about. I’ve hung my dreams and goals on this business and the fact that it’s getting such positive media attention is unbelievable.
“Well, hey, if you can get it all scheduled, and I land a client or two from the deal, dinner is on me when I get back next month,” I tell her, imagining the way her face probably perked right up. One thing Tabbi and I always agree on is a good place to get some food and drinks. Plus, I miss her. Since our freshman year of college, this is the longest we’ve been apart.
“I don’t think you’re going to have a problem there,” Tabbi responds, “TMZ just announced that The Kid just left his previous record company. He’s a free agent, and somehow, they already know he made an inquiry with us.”
“Kid? As is Onyx Kiddrick?” I get up from where I was lounging on the couch at the same time Becks and Spyder walk into the hotel room. Their heads swivel when I mention his name. I hit the speakerphone button.
“The one and only,” Tabbi does a little squeal into the phone, “he wants to meet with you in New York.”
“Kid wants to meet with me.” I have to repeat it out loud. That whole sentence feels unreal coming out of my mouth. Spyder’s mouth drops. “One of the world’s greatest male rappers wants to meet with me.”
“Snap out of it!” Tabbi laughs on the line. “Girl, everyone wants a piece of you right now. Rise Above is hitting it. I have large venues and stadiums asking me if they have any plans for a tour. Plus, you’re hot, you are independent and you are rising up the ladder of female executives and CEOs. You have power, beauty, and you are surrounded by some of the hottest guys, according to TikTok.”
I’m so happy the guys can hear this as well. Without them, none of this would be possible. Becks is grinning and Spyder is staring intently at the phone. “So, Tab, if these larger venues are showing interest, what is our next step?”
“Absolutely nothing. You finish your shows on the East Coast and keep growing your fanbase. We’ll evaluate later once we get the right offers.”
“Okay,” I tell her, and the guys nod in silent agreement. “Well, I have to go, Tabs. We have one more show here tonight before heading out East.”
“Okay, Rockstars, kill it tonight!” She cheers loudly into the phone before hanging up.
“I can’t believe this is all happening.” I glance between Becks and Spyder.
“I can. Tab is right. You are all over social media, and people are really respecting the fact that you aren’t using your connections or family name,” Spyder jumps in.
“Plus, you know your music as much as your business,” Becks adds and I fight really hard not to tear up. These guys destroy me with their confidence in my ability. It’s incredibly humbling. I always want them to believe in me because I will never stop fighting for them.
“And even if you sign Onyx Kiddrick, it will be okay because we know we’re your favorite.” Spyder shrugs, and I laugh. It’s true.
“We’ll see if he officially reaches out.” I nod and rub my hands together. “In the meantime, tonight’s your last performance here. We have tomorrow off then we head to New Jersey first thing Saturday morning with no downtime. They want a mic check and run-through as soon as we land.”
“It’s tough work being a superstar, but someone has to do it,” Spyder drawls before they’re heading to the adjoined suite door.
I grab my phone again and set an alarm. We need to leave in two hours, and I still have to get ready and eat something. In the bathroom, I shed my clothes and step under the hot spray of the shower. My muscles relax only a fraction. Ever since the show last night, I’ve been extra tense, thanks to Zander. I still can’t believe he came to the show and tried to see me. After the way we left things at my grandpa’s funeral, I thought I had been clear that I don’t want to be around him or my brother. I thought we moved on the day the contract ended. Then at the funeral, Zander held my hand, and I swear there was a second when I thought he was going to kiss me, and I hated myself for wanting him to do it.
Once I’m dressed and my hair has the right amount of waves in it, I snap a picture and send it to the girls’ group chat.
Tabbi: Sexy!
Monica: Holy hotness. You’ll get laid tonight.
Sylvie: I’d fuck you.
I laugh out loud, my confidence feeling boosted. There is no way Zander would be stupid enough to come again tonight, but a girl has to be prepared. I hate that my stomach swoops at the thought of seeing him again. “Get a grip, Mia,” I whisper to myself and take a deep breath in. I watch in the mirror as my eyes become cold, and my face relaxes into a controlled, professional smile. There is no girly blush in my cheeks. Any hope I used to have is locked down and buried deep. Some things in life, you just can’t go back to.
The club is packed on Rise Above’s last night in town. Every time I see a video blog, TikTok or Instagram reel highlighting the band on the West Coast, I get a flutter of excitement. The response from the crowd is unbelievable, and I can only imagine what being out East will do for them. The music scene in New York alone is super competitive, but we already have three shows sold out, and New Jersey and Philadelphia are on their way to being the same.
“Are you nervous?” Spyder asks, leaning down next to me.
“Why would I be nervous?” I glance from him to a grinning Becks. “No! I am not singing again. You can’t do this to me again.”
They both bust out laughing. “Don’t worry, the duet is out of the lineup until we have clear understanding from Jocelyn on what she is doing,” Becks assures me.
“I disagreed.” Spyder shrugs. I lightly punch him in his shoulder. “What? You are talented. Just as talented at Jocelyn, plus you look like that.” He motions with his hand.
My brow quirks. “Look like what?”
“You’re hot, plus you have the whole badass-boss lady thing going on.” He winks at me, and this time, I can’t help but smile.
“Get going,” I push them both toward the stage, “it’s showtime.”
They both turn back to kiss my cheek before taking their positions to get onstage. When the house lights go out and the crowd buzzes with excitement, adrenaline feeds its way into my bloodstream. It’s addicting. The music, the crowd, the absolute adoration they have for my guys. The cheering when the Spyder first hits his cord is deafening.
“Ahhh, Ms. Rosen?” One of my hired security guards touches my elbow to get my attention.
“Yes?” I turn to him and see the worried look on his face.
“That guy is here again.” He glances over his shoulder, my gaze following the motion.
Zander stands at the edge of the crowd, hands tucked in his pockets with a dark eyebrow arched, like he’s daring me to reject him again. I feel irrationally irritated and have to fight against the urge to scowl. Keeping my face controlled and my tone firm, I turn to the security guard. “Tell him he’s not welcome backstage, and if there’s any issues, he will be escorted from the property.” The guy blanches. “What?”
“Do you not know who he is? One of the guys last time said he’s good friends with the club’s owner,” the guy relays to me. Of course, he is. Zander is probably on tight terms with all the businessmen in this city.
I shrug, as if it doesn’t bother me, and turn my attention back to the show. I can hear the guy huff and mutter under his breath as he walks away. I’ll have to have a talk with him later. It shouldn’t matter who a person is, if I say no, then it means no. I can make my own connections. I don’t need the owner of this club or Zander.
Even though it kills me not to watch Zander being put in his place, I keep my focus on the band. I get lost in their melody and let the lyrics sink into my soul. It’s our last night in the state I grew up in, and I can’t wait to leave.
“You’re a beautiful crowd. We’re Rise Above. Thank you!” Becks yells into the mic, and it hits me that the show is really over. The first leg of the intro tour is over, and once again, I’m leaving. Tears sting my eyes. I need to get out of here before anyone sees. With a smile plastered on my lips, I head toward my private room in the club. It will take a while for the guys to get cleaned-up and the gear to be packed before we head back to the hotel. Plenty of time for me to hit my emotional wall and clean myself up, so no one notices. I lock myself in the room and lean against the door, breathing deep and trying to focus.
“I guess I should have pegged you for a coward, since all I’ve seen you do lately is run.”
The cold and controlled tone of his voice makes my heart stop. Of course, Zander would find a way into my room. He didn’t like being denied earlier and is showing his reach by waiting for me. “Just because I don’t want to talk to you, doesn’t mean I’m running.”
He scoffs, and I turn away from the door to face him. “You ended all ties with us when you broke the contract. At the funeral, you left and wouldn’t talk to me and now I’ve tried to see you twice and you denied me. It’s more than just not wanting to talk. It’s us. You’re running.”
“I have nothing to say,” I shrug, keeping my face blank, “we all knew what ending the contract meant.”
“Ending the contract meant we weren’t following some historic ritual that my bastard of a grandfather wanted to use to gain power. It didn’t mean we were never going to see each other again or that we would go out of the way to avoid being around each other. Or how about you deciding to quit your own family?” Zander’s voice becomes colder and the golden flecks in his eyes darken to amber.
My spine straightens, my anger at his accusations intensifying with every word he says. This is exactly why I never wanted to spend time talking to him again. I am not wrong for leaving how I did.
“Do you hear the words coming out of your mouth?” My words are sharp, and he pauses.
“And what does that mean, Amelia?”
“You and York made the contract my issue. I was a teenager. I had no idea what was happening with your grandfather, and yet, every day at school, I was subjected to bullying and being treated like less of a person. You both cut me out of your lives and never bothered to think for one second how it was affecting me, or to even realize that it wasn’t my fault. So yes, I did choose to study abroad. You gave me an ultimatum, and instead of staying here and being subjected to your cruelty and continual blame, I decided to move on. And guess what, I was the one who broke the contract, I was the one who saved you from your worst fear of having to marry me and I got my brother out of losing millions of dollars. Excuse me for not caring if, moving forward, the two people in my life who treated me like shit, have no place in my future. Family isn’t just about blood. It’s who you make it. It’s the people who show up every day and are loyal.” I’m shaking by the time I finish my tirade, but it feels so good to finally look him in the eye this way and say everything I need to say.
Zander glares and the way he grinds his teeth makes his jaw look harder, sharper. “Do you think I want to be here begging? Do you think it’s fun for me to chase you down? I want to apologize, Amelia. York wants to apologize, but you are the one not giving us the opportunity. You run anytime I get close to you.”
“I don’t want you to apologize,” I cut him off and watch as his eyes flash. “It’s in the past.”
“If that’s true then why can’t you talk to me?” He growls.
I can’t answer him because the truth is too embarrassing. I was in love with him and he broke my heart and the stupid organ doesn’t seem to care because it leaps in my chest anytime he’s around. I get mad at myself at how quickly I feel like I could fold the minute his golden eyes graze my skin. Everything he is offering me is just too little, too late.
“I think you’re just scared, Amelia. I think, deep down, you feel guilty because you really aren’t mad at all. We have a history and it still gets to you how badly you wanted me and I turned you down in order to escape my grandfather’s clutches. We’re adults now, Amelia, and the mature thing would be to confront what happened and move on as a united front. Take the chance to use your connections to your brother and me and not let your pride rule you.” He fists his hands at his sides, and takes a step closer to me.
My eyes sting with the angry onslaught of tears I’m holding at bay. How dare he? My maturity? I close my eyes and the tears slide down. “I don’t want to be connected to either of you. I don’t want the press or anyone to know we used to be friends or that York is my brother. It has nothing to do with being scared. I don’t feel guilty because I did nothing wrong. You both chose to hide things from me. You chose to do and say hurtful words to me and made it so that every day was painful. You chose someone else to love rather than believe in me and that even if I loved you, I wouldn’t let your grandfather hurt you. You got engaged to someone else. Mature? You ran so fast away from your own problems and shrugged off all the blame. Which one of us really needs your lecture?”
He steps toward me again, but I shake my head and hold my hand up between us. “Don’t. I do not want you here. Leave me alone, or the next time, I will have you escorted off the premises. I don’t care what your connections are, you are not a friend of mine. And you can tell York to do his own dirty work.”
I turn on my heel and flee the room, as fast as I can before Zander can fight back. My skin burns from the shame and embarrassment I feel for giving him all of my thoughts. He doesn’t deserve it. Zander hurt me in more ways than one, and I have to live forever with the images in my mind of him and Carrigan. Even if they aren’t together now, they were. She had him first. She got the proposal, I spent my entire teenage years dreaming about. He loved her and chose her first. And treated me like I didn’t matter.