SWNOVELS Chapter 42
Ember
I’m relieved that Mags and them don’t linger so I can go ruminate privately over how mortifying it was that they caught me practically nesting in Xander’s arms.
Xander played it off smoothly with his casual charm while I buried my head in the sand wishing I was a shadow walker and not a healer so I could slip away unseen.
If Mags was bothered at all by how unprofessional her guardian and I were acting, she didn’t show it. I’m not sure what or if anything will come of Xander and me but I know that if I have to choose between him and Mags I’ll pick her every time. She’s my best friend, my Queen.
Incandis comes running through the hallways as I make my way to leave. “Ember! You haven’t seen Mags around here have you?”
“Hey, relax, she’s okay. She just left with Xander and the twins. They’re dealing with Ian.” I say calmly and smile when I can see him shedding his anxiety over having lost her.
“Why do you have the babies? Where’s Kat?” I hand Cole over to him and smirk at him. He may not be a wolf but he’s just as territorial as one when it comes to the safety of his loved ones.
“Everything is fine now, but she could probably benefit from seeing you. We can go together, I have a feeling she’ll want to see the babies, too.” I frown remembering how close Kat was to being forced to hand them over to Illana.
The fact that she resisted as much as she did only proves how strong she really is.
Incandis teleports us up to Kat’s room, but when we don’t find her there he tries Ianthe’s suites next. Sure enough we find Ianthe and Accalia sitting together but still no sign of Kat.
“Incandis, everything alright? Where’s your sister?” Ianthe asks as soon as she notices us by the door.
Incandis looks to me for a response. “She’s with Ro, Varian, and Xander. They’re dealing with Ian.”
“Illana said he was dead?” Accalia questions.
“He’s as good as, but at the moment still breathing.”
“Where’s Kat?” Incandis asks.
Ianthe’s and Accalia’s expressions soften with sadness before Accalia speaks. “She said she was going to wait for you in your room.”
The words have scarcely left her lips before Incandis teleports out of his mother’s room, leaving me behind with the twins in my arms.
I sigh with amusement and move to leave for my room, but Ianthe’s voice makes me pause once more. “Ember, dear, you’re welcome to stay with us until everyone gets back. I like to think Accalia and I can be good company.” She smirks at Accalia who throws her back a wink.
“Of that I have no doubt, ma’am. Thank you for the offer but it might be a while before they’re back. Would you like me to notify you when they’ve returned?” It feels like the appropriate thing to ask, after the day we’ve had the least I can do is let them sleep peacefully knowing their children are safe.
“No that’s alright, Ember. I’m sure it’ll reach me one way or another.” Her smile warms the chill that had seeped under my skin while under Illana’s control.
I simply smile, bow my head, and head out and down to my room. It feels strange saying “my room,” I guess it’s more accurately “the room where I’m staying…for now.” The simple fact is I’m not from here, I’m not from the Hollow, my real home was destroyed long ago along with anyone who mattered to me.
Now that I’m free to go anywhere I’d like, I come up empty handed. Because I just want to be home. And as lovely as the grove is, and as welcoming as everyone has been, I know their hospitality is temporary.
Gods I was such an idiot for rushing Xander like that. A guy like him doesn’t turn down an easy catch, that’s all it was. Even if I was willing to entertain the idea that he’s genuinely interested in me, there’s no way I’d allow him to leave Mags’ guard to fly off with me. What kind of a man could he be to so quickly abandon his queen for a girl?
All these thoughts swirl through my mind like a storm while I feed the twins a bottle and get them changed for the night. With them content in their cribs, I grab a bath in Mags’ bathroom. She’s got a large tub with jets that can knead all your aching muscles.
I quickly prepare the bath, slip in, and relax in the heat. Drowsiness overcomes me quickly amidst the steam, and knowing that war is over and Ian is suffering as I sit here, I drift off to sleep more easily than I have in years.
***
I’m still in the tub when I startle to the noise of the door being kicked open. Varian walks in with Mags wrapped around his body like mine was around Xander’s. They make it all the way into the bathroom where he sets her down on the counter, never breaking contact with her lips, never once noticing me sitting awestruck in the tub.
Varian is already shirtless, but he begins fussing with his pants and belt. Mags pulls the too-large shirt she’s wearing over her head, but luckily Varian’s broad back is covering her body from view.
At this point I don’t even know what to say or do. Do I let them notice me on their own? Do I say something?
I scoop some bubbles over the top of me to keep my body covered in case they do turn around to see me before I can figure out how the hell to get out of this with any scrap of dignity left.
First the infirmary and now this, ugh kill me! I’m properly mortified.
“Well, well, well. Apparently you’re not the only one who likes to watch, Xander.” Ro’s smile is evident in his tone.
A loud, sharp whistle drags Varian’s attention away from Mags and back towards where Ro stands in the doorway.
“What?” He asks mid-turn before catching my eye. “Oh. Shit. Sorry Ember didn’t see you there.”
“Ember?” Xander pushes past Ro and catches sight of me in the tub.
Awesome. All four of them are now staring at me. Death is definitely preferable to ever having to face them again, so I slowly submerge myself beneath the bubbles and the water.
A hand wraps around my arm but doesn’t make any attempt to pull me out of the water. A moment later I sense that there’s now air around me where there used to be water. I steal a peek at my surroundings and notice that Xander has teleported us back to my bathroom.
“Here, I’ll get you a towel.” He says, tossing me a clean towel a moment later. I cover myself with the towel, using my heat to dry my skin and hair.
“Thanks, and uh…sorry, about earlier. I shouldn’t have—“
Xander steals my words with his lips. He moves into my space slowly and cups my face tenderly in his hands. His lips are lush and warm, sending shivers down my spine when he sucks my bottom lip between his teeth before capturing my lips with his once more.
Gods can he kiss.
Before we can take this any further he pecks me on the nose and shifts out of my reach but still holding my hand, caressing the back of it with his thumb. “Do you want to talk about today?”
“Which part?” I chuckle nervously. So much has happened today; is he talking about what happened with Ro? Or what happened with Illana? There’s always of course whatever may or may not be happening between us looming like a pink elephant in the pantry.
“Any of it,” he shrugs. “All of it. None of it. It’s your choice.”
I consider his question for a moment, situating myself on the couch. “How’d it go with Ian?”
Xander puffs his cheeks and lets the air slowly leak out of his lips. “Let’s just say I never want to be on Mags’ bad side. Like ever. I’ve seen her kill hundreds of times. But this…this was sport.”
“What did she do?”
“You really want to know?”
I nod wordlessly for him to tell me. I need to know how the man responsible for mine and Mags’ suffering met his end.
“She cut him up, like fucking rolls of sushi. Then she’d have me erase his memory so he didn’t remember how it happened, just the pain of it. She did this until he was just a torso and then she torched him from the inside out.”
I don’t know I’m frowning until Xander points it out. “You okay? I thought you’d be relieved he was gone.”
“Yeah, no, I’m happy it’s done. I think it’s partly disbelief, partly the thought that any death would be too good for him.”
Xander’s hand reaches out to cover mine and stops me from twisting my thumbs around one another.
“Can I tell you a secret?” He asks me and I nod.
“Mags instructed me to erase his memories of how he was injured. But, once or twice I might have left one in there…modified so it was you who swung the axe that cut him apart instead of Mags.”
My brows lift up to my hairline and I’m sure he mistakes my expression for horror.
“I’m sorry, I should have asked but I couldn’t, obviously—“
This time I cut him off, pulling him towards me and pressing our lips together.
“Thank you.” I breathe against his mouth.
He smiles wickedly at some private joke which becomes all the more obvious when I ask him about it.
“It’s nothing,” he beams, “I’m just glad I can take responsibility for that smile.”
“Xander, what are we doing?” I whisper to him.
“Right now? We’re talking, and I’m thinking about you… like I have been since the first day you came here.”
I drop my head to his chest and lay my hand over his heart. “You can’t say beautiful things like that. What if Mags doesn’t want us together?”
“Play it out for me — what’s the worst that could happen if Mags doesn’t approve?” He challenges me.
“I don’t know! Like, you end up having to choose between me and her…and you choose wrong and pick me.”
“Why is that the wrong choice?”
“Because, how could you so easily betray her loyalty like that? And at what point in our relationship would you do that to me? Not to mention the position that would put me in with her as my best friend. You’d pick me, I’d pick her, she’d lose her most loyal guardian and resent me for eternity.”
When I finish I look up to see Xander’s face illuminated with delight and fascination.
“First of all, Mags would never make us choose between her and each other. Second of all, she’ll probably be so happy for us that she’ll force us to choose each other over her. And ultimately, she’d simply never do that to me, especially once she understood exactly how I felt about you.”
My brows pinch together and Xander catches my confusion.
“Listen, I’ll be the first to admit that Mags is the sun we all revolve around. And I admit that I’ve been drawn to her warmth a time or two. But tonight, when the Alphas…” he stops and clears his throat, “when all eyes were on her, all I could think about was getting back here to you.”
“I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time.” I admit quietly.
“Neither have I,” he says and kisses my head.
I sit up enough to swing my leg over his lap so I’m straddling his legs before I attack his lips. His hands grip my hips over the cloth of the towel and his tongue lashes against my mouth demanding entrance.
“What were you going to say about the Alphas? What did they do?” I manage to say between breaths.
He smirks against my lips.
“Technically I’m not allowed to tell anyone,” his answer makes me frown, but his salacious grin doesn’t waiver. “But they never said I couldn’t show you.”
He lifts me up off the couch, walks me over to my bed and lays me down on top of the duvet.
“You’re stunning. You literally radiate warmth, I’ve been drawn to you since the moment I met you. I need you to be mine.” He stops me from opening my towel, kissing only my already exposed skin on my collar bone, shoulders, and neck.
“I can’t be this lucky.” I think to myself, or at least I thought I thought it.
“It’s not luck, Ember. It’s what you deserve. I want to make you feel good, I want to make you happy. Do you trust me?” Xander is hovering over my body, kissing down the center of my body over the towel, slowly heading down to where there is more exposed skin south of the border.
Do I want this fire breathing beast of a Greek God to make me feel good? Absolutely I do.
Now that Ian is gone I’m officially a free woman, free to make my own choices and live my own life.
And my first choice…is Xander.