Fix You (The Playlist BOOK 1)

Song - Ship to Wreck By Florence + The Machine

I pull my hood up over my head, trying to hide myself as much as possible as I walk to Aunt Gemma's small cabin.

Her house is my favorite place. She has weird little trinkets everywhere and pictures of my mother proudly displayed. It's the only place I can see pictures from before, pictures of my happy family before I came along and ruined it. It's unsettling to see my dad with a big, carefree smile on his face. He looks so young and happy, his arms wrapped around my mother and brothers.

It's no wonder my dad can hardly look at me, I look almost exactly like her. We have the same long, brown hair, green eyes and straight, slightly upturned nose.

"Happy birthday, sweet Sorsha," she pulls me into a tight hug.

"Hi, Gem," I lean into her warm embrace.

"I've made a cake! Come, sit!"

Her dining room chairs are pink and plastic. The rest of her house is colorful and unusual. She brings a wobbly, misshapen cake from the kitchen.

"They stuck to the pan! I swear I will learn to bake," we laugh as she sets it in front of me.

She pulls out a lighter and I roll my eyes. She insists on singing every year.

After she sings I close my eyes and lean forward, poised to blow out the single yellow candle.

"A mate, I wish for a mate."

Same as every year. I yearn for a mate, for someone to love me, to want me, to take me away from my lonely life. I dream about him, what he'll look like, his voice, his personality. Each day that's passed since my eighteenth birthday feels endless.

"The Moon Goddess summoned me last night, she said she had a gift for me."

She smiles a bright, wide smile, "I wonder what it will be."

"Gem, why do you look like that?"

She looks... odd. Almost like she knows what the gift is. How could she?

"Oh, no reason, love. How's the cake?"

Hmm...subtle.

"It's great, thank you."

"It's strawberry, your mom's favorite," her eyes twinkle.

She's the only person that talks about mom. Cash won't ever mention her. I bite into my lip. Every time I learn something new about her it feels bittersweet. I want to know everything, but it also hurts. She's not here for me to know, because of me.

"It's not your fault, Sorsha," she holds my hand tightly in hers, pulling me from my thoughts.

I purse my lips. She says that all the time but the fact of the matter is, my birth killed her.

"She knew the prophecy. She knew what having you meant and she still wanted you. She thought your life, your contribution to the world was worth it. Her dying breath was used to name you. Sweet Sorsha, she called you."

She may have thought that but I know the rest of the pack didn't agree. My brothers are twenty-eight, twenty-seven and twenty-five. My father held out as long as he could before having me. When my mom got pregnant he begged her to go to a human doctor to end the pregnancy but she refused.

"Come on, birthday girl!" She pulls me up by my arm, "it's time!"

I groan as she turns on a small radio. Florence and the Machine blasts through the speakers.

"Dance!"

She spins and twirls through her small kitchen. I can't help but join in. Dancing is Gemma's "cure for all that ails you." We dance every time I come over. I act indifferent to it but I always feel lighter when I leave.

I'm startled from my jumping, spastic moves by a loud knock on the door. No one ever comes here so I immediately tense.

Gemma pulls the door open to reveal James. He looks stoic, as usual.

"Dad needs you to come back."

He doesn't say anything else but steps out of the doorway, waiting for me.

"Best not to keep the Alpha waiting, love," she pulls me into a tight hug.

I follow James quietly. His broad shoulders and intimidating height are pretty common traits for a future Alpha. I think he will be good for the pack. His mate, Leah, will be a wonderful Luna.

He is kind and fair, he will continue to run the pack like dad has. He will be loved and respected by everyone.

I feel like a scolded dog walking behind it's owner. Everyone who sees us stares or whispers. I wish Cash had come for me, he would tell me why I'm needed again.

Dad must have come to his office in the packhouse. Great. I mostly avoid this place on a regular day. Today I would rather fork my own eyes out than go in there. Everyone will be grieving their Luna and I have to walk past them, shrinking beneath their glares.

Everyone we pass gets quiet as we approach. I sigh and stare at the floor, trying not to see every person that stops short to watch us pass.

When we finally reach dads office I hear shouting from inside. I look to James instinctively but he doesn't even glance back before pushing the door open.

Dad is seated behind his large desk with a phone sitting in front of him. The yelling is coming from the speaker.

"Alpha Rhys," my fathers voice booms, "she's here. Listen for yourself."

He turns his attention to me, "explain your most recent interaction with the Goddess."

"S-She told me that rogues will attack a pack in Montana and wipe them out if they aren't warned..."

I'm cut off by an angry snarl, "...and the part about 'something coming,' what about that?"

"She only said that something is coming and the council needs to be prepared."

"Nothing else?"

"No, Alpha, I tried to ask for more information but the Goddess..."

The Goddess doesn't give clear perfect pictures, she tells a part and we have to figure it out. It's better than nothing, I guess.

"Go back to her, ask her for more information," the angry Alpha asks.

"Sir, it doesn't work like that. She summons me, I don't go to her."

He lets out an angry huff, "Bring her to the council meeting," he growls before the line goes dead.

"Fuck," dad rubs his hands over his face, "we have a council meeting in two days, be ready to go on Wednesday," he groans before leaning back in his chair.

I take that as my cue to leave. I run up the four flights of stairs to my room. I haven't been off of packlands in years. This council meeting might be exactly what I need.

Song - Ship to Wreck by Florence + The Machine