Fire with Fire

ON FRIDAY, ALEX AND I ARE SUPPOSEDLY WORKING on practice resumes, which is stupid because it’s not like college apps even ask you for a resume. But Ms. Chirazo keeps saying “in the real world” you need them, so we might as well get some practice in.

But I start to freak, because when it comes down to listing all my extracurriculars, my resume is looking pretty thin. Pretty much just my name and GPA. Oh yeah, and my summer job at the marina. I quickly put that down too. I sneak a peek at Alex’s, and he’s got all kinds of shit on there—interning at his dad’s company, academic decathlon, volunteering at an animal shelter in Boston, some choir.

I lay my head down on my notebook and close my eyes. I still haven’t revised my essay to include stuff with my mom. I know Ms. Chirazo is pissed about that. She didn’t even act excited when I mentioned that I think I did well at my SAT retest a few weeks ago. Hopefully I’ll crack 1900, by the grace of freaking God. That will put me a few points over what you need to get into Oberlin. But this, this resume shit, it’s a problem I’ll have to work on.

When Ms. Chirazo leaves the room to take a phone call, I lean into Alex and say, “Hey, how was Boston? Did you check out Berklee?”

Alex looks up from his paper. “Nah, I didn’t get a chance. Our schedule was packed.”

“Alex, you dummy! Why didn’t you at least stop by?”

“I didn’t see the point.”

“What? Why not?”

Alex leans back in his chair and taps the table with his pencil. “If I were going to apply to a music program, I’d do USC. Los Angeles is, like, the center of the music biz. And the emphasis there is more on contemporary songwriting, not classical, which is what I’m interested in.” He shakes his head. “Anyway, there’s no point, because I’m not applying to any music programs.”

“But you love music.”

“Sure. But, like my mom was saying, it’s not like you’re guaranteed a record deal or anything like that if you graduate from a music program. If I do a business program, I’ll be set. And I could still take a music class as an elective.”

I give him the side eye. “Business? Since when do you care about business?”

“I have to think long-term, Kat. And with my dad’s contacts, I could—”

“But you want to write music.” I say. “And sure, nothing is guaranteed, but that’s what makes it awesome, you know? The fact that it isn’t!” I glance around the room. Everyone’s looking at me. Probably because I’m getting loud. I lower my voice and say, “You’ve got to go balls to the wall because you love music. Fuck everything and everyone because you’re going to give it a shot regardless.”

Alex wants this. I can tell, because he doesn’t respond right away. He stares off into space for a second, working it over in his head. Then he frowns and says, “You know, even if I got in, I doubt my parents would pay for it. They don’t exactly envision a life for me as a starving artist. My dad’s always talked about me working for his company when I graduate college.”

“Alex, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you’re fucking rich. You’re going to have money no matter what. You already have a safety net! Your parents aren’t going to let you starve in the street. Apply to USC. What can it hurt? Maybe you won’t get in. I don’t know. Maybe you suck. I’ve never heard your stuff.” I elbow him and he laughs. “Stop being such a little bitch and give it a shot. What do you have to lose? So they reject you. So what. Then you pick yourself back up and you go to business school like your daddy wants. But you’ll never know unless you try.”

“I guess.”

I think about mentioning how I’ve heard Oberlin has a kick-ass conservatory, but I swallow it down. My life is complicated enough. I put my hand on his back. “Go for it. Balls to the wall. California or bust!”

He scratches his head. “Maybe I’ll look at Berklee. At least if I went to school in Boston, I’d have Lillia there.”

I feel a pinprick in my chest. “Dude, you said USC is the program for you. Don’t shoot for second best because of a girl.”

Alex looks startled. “What? That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Oh no?”

“No! Geez, lower your voice, Kat. I like Boston. And we just . . . we had a fun time hanging out. That’s it.”

“Friends,” I say. “That’s what you guys are. Like you and me.”

He cocks his head to the side and looks right at me. “I’ve never hooked up with Lillia.”

I lean back in my chair, pleased. “Send in the USC application, Alex. You need to start going after what you want.”

Ms. Chirazo comes back in and shoots me a warning look like she knows I’ve been goofng off. Of course she’s only looking at me and not Alex, because she thinks Alex is a freaking redheaded angel.