SWNOVELS Finn Rhodes Forever: Chapter 11
“LOOK.” Emmett shifted in his seat at the bar counter, staring at me straight on. “Finn? I love you, man, but you have a reputation for being trouble. Even Mom jokes that you’re the devil.”
I glanced over at Liv taking a customer’s order on the other side of the bar. “Liv likes that about me.”
Even as I said the words, I didn’t believe them.
“She did when you were sixteen,” Emmett continued. “You know what grown women like?”
“True crime documentaries.”
Emmett paused before nodding. “Yeah, I think a lot of women do like those, but no, that’s not what I’m getting at. Stability. Responsibility. A reliable guy.” He gestured at himself. “Look at me, Finn. What do I look like?”
I surveyed his Oxford shirt and neatly combed hair. “A dork.”
Holden and Wyatt laughed, and Emmett shook his head at them. “Can I get some help here?” he asked them.
Holden cleared his throat. “He’s right,” he admitted.
“You’ve got a reputation,” Emmett went on.
“I don’t have a reputation,” I laughed. “Come on.”
Wyatt made a ha! noise over the rim of his beer. “Remember the ladybugs?”
“Oh my god.” Emmett cringed, laughing. “The fucking ladybugs. Mom almost killed you. She was so embarrassed.”
I winced. Okay, yeah, I forgot about the ladybugs. I was twelve years old. The gardens outside our school had aphids, so they brought in ladybugs to eat them. The ladybugs arrived frozen in plastic bags, hundreds of them in each bag. The gardener had left them in the bed of his truck to thaw out before he released them in the gardens.
I’d seen those bags of frozen ladybugs, tucked two bags under each arm, and opened them inside the school. For weeks, ladybugs swarmed the windows in every classroom, flying into teachers’ mouths or kids’ food during lunch.
God, I had been such a little shit.
I sighed. “I was figuring out I had a thing for Liv, and it made me do weird things.”
“It wasn’t just that time,” Holden added. “Remember when you fell out of the tree?”
My stomach tightened. Another bad one. I was ten and cracked my skull falling out of the tree in our backyard. Holden had been a wreck because he was supposed to be watching me, but it wasn’t his fault. I was the one who climbed the tree after he told me to stay inside.
Wyatt snapped his fingers as he remembered. “The grocery store windows.”
Emmett hooted with laughter and Holden put his head in his hands.
“Right.” Emmett leaned back, laughing. “Glass everywhere.”
I had been sixteen, sprinting down Main Street in the rain. The soles of my skate shoes had zero traction left, and when I tried to turn the corner, I slid across the slippery sidewalk, straight through the grocery store’s front windows. I walked away with just a tiny white scar on the back of my head.
A weird heaviness settled in my gut. When they laid it all out like this, especially compared to their accomplishments and where they all were in life, I saw myself in a new light.
I didn’t like it.
The last thing Olivia needs is a guy like you dragging her down, her mom had said to me after Liv and I got in trouble for skipping class.
She had been right, and I knew she was right. That’s why I left. That’s why I said the things I did on the front porch when I got home on graduation night. I’m bored with this town. Bored with you.
It was only a matter of time until Liv figured out she was too good for me. Her mom saw right through me.
My stomach sank even lower. Fuck. No wonder Liv didn’t trust me. My entire life, I’d shown her that I couldn’t be trusted, and then I bailed on her the same night I told her I loved her.
Fucking hell, I was an asshole.
My brothers must have seen the anguish written all over my face, because Emmett clapped a hand on my shoulder. “Show her you’re not that guy anymore.”
What if I am that guy, though? I glanced at Liv with her terrible haircut. Her eyes met mine, and my stomach flipped.
For Liv, I could change.
I swallowed. “Yeah. Okay.”
“First thing you have to do is tell her you want to be friends, nothing more,” Emmett said.
I shook my head at him. “I don’t want to be just friends with her.”
Holden let out a long-suffering sigh and Emmett raised an eyebrow at him.
“It wasn’t long ago that you were in a similar position,” he told Holden.
Holden rolled his eyes and turned back to the game.
“I’ve already told her I’m going to make her fall back in love with me,” I explained, feeling dumber by the second.
Why did I show my hand like that?
She breezed past behind the bar, tray in hand, and my gaze stuck to her like glue. My heart twisted, sharp and sweet, and I swallowed past a tight throat.
Because it was Liv. Because I had never been able to keep secrets from her. She made me say everything in my head. Around her, I got dumb.
“Forget the friends thing, then.” Emmett crossed his arms and rubbed his jaw, thinking. “Focus on showing her how you’ve changed. Put on a nice shirt. Comb your hair. Cover up the tattoos. Get a responsible car.”
A strangled laugh slipped out of my throat. “What? No.”
My car was my baby. A black 1969 Mustang I had bought in my early twenties. When I was away, I paid a friend to keep it in his garage at the edge of town, covered by a protective sheet. I had it detailed regularly, only used premium gas, and brought it in for maintenance more than I needed to.
I loved that car. My happy place was driving it along the coast with the windows down, wind in my hair and music roaring through the stereo. Gripping the shifter in my hand, the way it felt to change gears on the open road.
“I can’t get rid of my car.” I shook my head. “No fucking way.”
“You need to get something responsible,” Emmett said, “like my car.”
“I’m not getting a loser car.”
He blanched. “My car isn’t a loser car.” Emmett drove one of those sporty crossovers made for families.
“It’s one step below minivan.”
Holden and Wyatt chuckled.
Emmett’s jaw clenched. “Don’t you dare make fun of minivans.”
I made a jerking off motion. “Hey look, it’s me, Emmett, thinking about minivans.”
Holden and Wyatt started laughing and Emmett looped his elbow around my neck, trying to put me in a headlock while I fought him off, laughing.
“He has a point,” Holden added when we sat back down. “About looking responsible.” He spared a glance at me, frowning. “But you have to do it the right way. A way that’ll matter to Olivia. She won’t give a shit about you combing your hair.”
I gestured at him. “Yes, that’s what I’m saying.”
“If she’s worried you’re going to leave, you need to put down roots here.” Emmett’s eyes were bright as he gesticulated. “Get involved in the community. Find a place to live long-term. Make it clear that you’re staying and committed. Stop doing dumb shit for the adrenaline rush because that’ll freak her out.”
My mind wandered to the old house at the edge of town Liv and I used to ride our bikes past as kids. We had driven past it the other day.
“Get a car that can fit a car seat,” Emmett added.
I picked up his beer and poured it into mine before turning back to Holden. “Go on.”
His gaze flicked up to the game and we watched our team lose before he turned back to me. “Find out what she needs and then give that to her, or help her get it for herself.”
I thought about the flower, how she’d been working on her thesis for almost two years.
She used to laugh so easily around me. She used to be right behind me, sprinting down a hill or climbing trees to race to the top.
I spotted her ringing an order through on the side of the bar, her eyebrows knitted together. She never used to be so serious and guarded like this. Now she seemed… stuck.
I chewed my lip, thinking.
“Yeah,” I said. “I can work with that.”
I’d be the guy Liv needed, because the alternative was too fucking sad to even consider.
“YOU’RE STILL HERE,” she said later, appearing in front of me, drumming her fingers on the counter. Her expression was indiscernible as her warm brown eyes roamed my face.
I leaned forward, resting my chin on my palm, smiling. “Thought I’d keep you company for a while.”
I waited for her to tell me she didn’t need company.
She lifted an eyebrow. “We should go on a date,” she said instead, ignoring my brothers’ glances.
My mind stuttered.
“Since we’re, you know,” she shrugged, “together and all.”
I sat up straighter. “Yes. Fuck, yes.” My mind ran wild with a thousand images of the things we used to do—stargazing on the roof outside my bedroom window, riding bikes with the wind in our hair, exploring the coastline, collecting shells. “I’ll plan it.”
“No,” she blurted out before catching herself and smiling quickly at me. “I want to take you out. Let me plan it.” Something that looked like mischief flashed behind her eyes.
Okay, so she was up to something, but damn if I wasn’t curious as hell. If I wanted Liv back, I needed to show her that no matter how hard she pushed me away, no matter how fucked up her hair looked, I wasn’t going anywhere.
A beaming smile stretched across my face. “Alright. It’s a date.” I glanced at the time. “Are you okay down here if I leave? I have an overnight shift tomorrow and I want to get enough sleep. I never sleep well at the fire hall.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Finn, I will manage to run the bar if you’re not sitting here.”
Even in a flat tone like that, I loved the way she said my name. I stood, tucking my stool under the counter. “Alright, I’ll say goodnight then, baby.”
She stiffened. She didn’t like that nickname. “Bye.”
“How about a goodnight kiss?” I said, because playing with fire made my blood whistle.
“Finn.” Emmett’s eyes widened. Holden and Wyatt watched in amusement.
My gaze stayed on Liv’s face as I made my way around the bar behind the counter. When I stopped a foot from her, her eyes dropped to my mouth once, then came back up to my eyes. Energy rushed through my blood. She blinked at me, swallowing, as a flush crept up her throat.
“You’re not supposed to be back here,” she managed.
I gave her a soft smile, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Can’t I give my girlfriend a kiss goodbye?”
“Girlfriend.” Her chest rose and fell.
“Mhm. Or is it too soon? Because it’s not too soon for me, Liv. I know what I want.”
Come on, play with me.
She snorted. “Fine.”
My eyebrows lifted in delight. “Yeah?”
She shrugged. “Sure. Whatever. I don’t care.”
“Alright.” I took a step toward her, aware of everyone in the vicinity staring at us. “Here I come.”
She swallowed again. The flush crept up to her cheeks and she looked so fucking adorable, blushing with her freckles like that. “Ready whenever you are.”
I paused an inch from her mouth, waiting for her to meet me the rest of the way. Up close, her eyes were flecked with honey. Her chest rose and fell, and her breath tickled my lips.
My eyes said I dare you. Her gaze dropped to my lips before she dropped a quick peck on my mouth. Before I could even register what happened, she was hustling to the other end of the bar.
“Goodnight,” she called in a strangled voice.
I grinned after her. “Goodnight, baby,” I called back.
“This is going to be a fucking disaster,” Holden muttered, shaking his head at me.
I beamed at him. A renewed sense of resolve flooded my veins.
Liv still had feelings for me, and I was going to do everything I could to show her I wasn’t the same guy who broke her heart.