SWNOVELS Finding Hayes: Chapter 13
Our wedding night was spent not speaking to one another. Savannah was obviously pissed that I’d shared that she’d left town without saying goodbye.
Fuck that.
The truth hurts sometimes.
So, if she wanted to stalk around the house like a child for the next week, she could have at it. I wasn’t going to apologize for telling the truth.
We’d gone the entire week without speaking in private, all while putting on a show of being newlyweds in public.
Everyone at the firehouse was stunned that we’d gotten married so quickly. The harder sell was my friends.
They were shooting endless questions at me, as were their significant others.
And I couldn’t ask my wife how to field all these questions because she wasn’t speaking to me when we were at home. She’d been staying in the guest room on the other side of the house. She made dinner every night, and she was a damn good cook, but she took her plate to her bedroom because apparently, she couldn’t stand the sight of me.
We’d been to Whiskey Falls with everyone to celebrate our wedding, but they didn’t grill her the way they’d grilled me. Or maybe she just handled the questions better than I did.
She never seemed uncomfortable with any of it in public.
I’d just spent the last three days at the firehouse, and tonight we were taking Cutler to dinner at the Golden Goose. He’d been the one that I felt the worst about because he genuinely seemed hurt that I’d gotten married without him being there. My sister Saylor hadn’t been happy that she wasn’t invited, but she loved Savannah so damn much that she let it go because she said all that mattered at the end of the day was that I was happy.
Cutler didn’t seem to share that sentiment.
“My pops says the farmhouse is looking so good,” Cutler said. “And my Sunny said that you’re getting famous from the social studies.”
Savannah’s head tipped back in laughter. Why did I love the sound of her laugh so much? Maybe it was because I’d barely seen her over the last three days, and she hadn’t uttered more than three words to me since getting here today. She did stop by the firehouse to bring everyone little gift bags filled with chocolate-covered popcorn, so she was holding up her end of the bargain, even if she barely looked at me when she’d stopped by. She’d gotten pretty good at faking it in public, and she’d given me a big hug and giggled when I’d made a joke, but she still wouldn’t look at me.
And I was about done being ignored by my wife.
Fake or not—it was bullshit.
“I bet she meant to say social media,” Savannah said, as she and Cutler each reached for a french fry and dipped them in their ketchup at the same time before taking a bite and laughing.
“What does that mean to be famous on the media?” he asked, as he reached for his grilled cheese.
“I started building my social media a while back when I worked at this big design firm, and people who liked my style followed me. And then when I came here, I shared that I’d be renovating this old farmhouse. The first few posts I made were of the bathroom being gutted, and they went viral. So I’m having fun with it.” She smiled at Cutler and then straightened her features when she looked at me.
For fuck’s sake. This is ridiculous.
“How about you stop glaring at me,” I said, as the words left my mouth before I could stop them.
Cutler’s eyes widened, and he looked between us. “You mad at Uncle Hayes, Savvy? He can be a big grump sometimes. But he loves you. That’s why he got married to you, right?”
Her gaze softened, and she cleared her throat. “Yes. But sometimes you can be mad at people you love, too.”
“I was kind of mad at Uncle Hayes for getting married without me.” Cutler shrugged.
“Well, that makes two of us that were mad on our wedding day.” She smirked.
How did this turn on me again?
“Were you mad that he didn’t invite me, too?” Cutler asked.
“I should actually take the blame for that, Beefcake. We were just so excited to get married, and I didn’t have time to tell my dad or my brother, and so I felt bad having anyone there if we weren’t including everyone.”
Cutler’s head tipped back in a fit of laughter. “You two must really love each other because you couldn’t wait for your family to come to the wedding. So I’m not mad anymore. And you shouldn’t be mad at my uncle because you just got married, right?”
“I couldn’t agree more. We’re newlyweds, after all.” I quirked a brow, knowing I was pissing her off. But I’d rather have her angry at me than ignoring me.
“Then you shouldn’t have said what you said on our wedding day.”
Why was she so hung up on this?
“Oh, man, what did you say to my girl, Uncle Hayes?”
“We met another couple who also got married on the same day, and they asked about our story. All I said was that she left me and didn’t keep in touch, and she got mad. But sometimes the truth hurts.” I shrugged because I wasn’t going to sugarcoat it just because she didn’t like the story anymore.
“Are you kidding me with this right now?” Savannah gave me a death glare and then bit off the corner of her grilled cheese and tossed it back down on her plate.
“Did you leave without saying goodbye?” Cutler asked.
“Well, I tried to say goodbye. I called. I texted. And then I went over to his house to tell him I was leaving, and let’s just say, that was all the goodbye necessary.”
What the fuck did that even mean?
“Funny. I never got a message or a text, so maybe your memory is foggy.” I took a sip of my water.
“My memory is never foggy,” she said, and then she glanced at Cutler, and I could see the anger dissipate when she looked at him. “So, Loraine, that lady we met on our wedding day, gave some sound advice about marriage, and maybe I should take it.”
“What did she say?” Cutler asked, because the little guy was always curious.
“She said to leave the past in the past and focus on the present and the future.”
“What do you think of that, Uncle Hayes?” he asked.
“Well, I think I’d take her advice with a grain of salt. She married the same man twice, and she’s five minutes into her new marriage and throwing out advice like she’s an expert.” I leaned back in the booth and crossed my arms over my chest. “Maybe dealing with the past is better than ignoring it.”
Savannah’s eyes were wild and angry as she shook her head at me. “Says the man who hasn’t had a relationship in a long time.”
“Isn’t being married a relationship?” Cutler asked, and I barked out a laugh.
“Yes. It is. So, what else do you have to throw at me?” I smirked.
She rolled her eyes. “Fine, dear husband. If you claim you were so sad that I left without saying goodbye, why didn’t you reach out?”
“I did. You blocked me, remember?” I said.
“Oh, man, you blocked my uncle? What does that mean?” Cutler asked.
“I didn’t want to take his calls because we both needed to go our separate ways. I just don’t know why he’s acting like he was so hurt by it. He probably didn’t give it a second thought back then.” Her gaze locked with mine.
“Were you really sad?” Cutler asked. The little dude should consider being a therapist in the future, because this was the most we’d spoken in a week.
“Yes. I actually was.”
“I don’t believe you,” Savannah whispered, eyes wet with emotion, and it made my fucking chest squeeze to see her hurting.
Even if I was pissed at her.
I still couldn’t stand to see her upset.
“I’ll prove it to you when we get home. I’ve got something to show you.”
“You made my girl a special gift?” Cutler chuckled. “Man, my uncles know how to treat their girls.”
Savannah was quiet for a few beats, and then she turned her attention back to the little guy beside her. “I’m looking forward to riding with you guys this weekend again.”
“Oh, man.” My godson turned to me and smiled. There was a little drip of ketchup on the corner of his mouth, and just as I reached for my napkin to clean him up, Savannah beat me to it. “You should see Savvy on a horse. She’s so fast, and I like riding with all my girls. Poor Demi can’t ride anymore because she’s got the baby in her tummy. Do you think you guys will have a baby someday, too?”
The word was out of my mouth before I could stop it. “No.”
“Yes. I’d like to have a big family,” Savannah said at the exact same time, and we both stopped talking immediately.
I knew that Cutler was the closest I’d ever come to being a father.
I’d had too many bad examples in my life, and I knew how easy it was to fuck a kid up if you didn’t step up to the plate. I’d never take that risk.
“Oh, man, Uncle Hayes. You got married, and it sounds like your wife wants to have babies.”
Yeah, probably something we should have discussed, even if we knew this would be over in three months. We should at least be on the same page right now.
But that wasn’t going to happen if we couldn’t get past this dumbass argument.
We weren’t married for real.
Sure, we’d had an epic make-out session in the car, and I knew she’d been on the brink of coming, but she’d pulled back.
Just like she was doing now.
“Well, I guess my wife and I have a lot to discuss tonight, don’t we?”
Savannah sighed and changed the subject. She and Cutler agreed to share a milkshake, and I just listened as they talked and laughed for the next hour. There was a reason that she wanted to be a mother, and it was probably because she knew she’d be damn good at it.
Any kid would be lucky to have Savannah Abbott as a mother.
Or… at the moment, Savannah Woodson.
She’d agreed to take my name, as we thought it would make things more believable to get her driver’s license changed and go through all the normal steps a newly married couple would go through.
After we took Cutler home, we made our way back to my place, and she padded down the hallway to her bedroom without saying a word.
So much for making progress.
I took a shower and slipped into my gray joggers and a tee before going into my closet and finding the box on the top shelf. I pulled out the envelope on the top of the pile in the box and thought it over.
What did I have to lose? We weren’t speaking at the moment, and after we staged our fake divorce, she’d be selling the farmhouse and moving out of Magnolia Falls.
So why not at least put this shit to rest.
I made my way down the long hallway to her room and knocked on the door.
“Come in,” she called from the other side.
I stood in the doorway, and my gaze traveled over every inch of her where she lay on her stomach on the bed, reading a book.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hello, husband.”
“Listen, Sav, I’m not a dude who wants to talk about every little thing; you know that.”
“I do.”
“But this shit that you’re carrying—this anger toward me, I don’t know what it’s about.” I crossed one ankle over the other as I leaned against the door frame. “That’s the honest truth.”
She pushed to sit up, legs hanging over the side of the bed now. “It doesn’t matter. None of this is real anyway. I think it’s just being back here—it’s bringing up all these memories that I thought I’d tucked away.”
“This marriage is the only thing that isn’t real. Our history. Our friendship. That was all fucking real.” I stepped forward into the room and tossed the letter onto the bed beside her. “I never got a text or a message from you the day that you left. You blocked my number on your phone, so I wrote to you after you left. The letters got returned. But I did try, Sav.”
She looked up at me, honey-brown eyes with pops of amber and gold, wet with emotion. “Why? Why did you care that I left?”
I shook my head in disbelief. “How the fuck can you ask me that? You were my best friend. The guys are like brothers to me, you know that. But you and me, Sav, we were always different.”
She swiped at the single tear running down her cheek. “I’m sorry for being an asshole at dinner. Beefcake deserves better.” Her lips turned up in the corners, and I barked out a laugh.
“So, the apology is only for Beefcake, huh?”
She ignored the question and reached for the envelope beside her. “You hate writing. How many essays did I have to write for you in middle school and high school?”
“I still hate it. But I wrote to you. It’s probably a bunch of chicken scratch, but I wanted you to know that I wrote you. That I was surprised you left without saying goodbye. That I missed you.” I cleared my throat. I didn’t like talking about this kind of shit. But everything had always been different with Savannah.
“I didn’t leave without saying goodbye, Hayes. You just weren’t home when I came over.” She shrugged. “But I called. And I texted.”
“I never got the messages, Sav. And then you just blocked me? That was fucked up.”
She pushed to her feet and stormed toward me. “That was not fucked up. You are the one who fucked up. You are the reason I blocked you. You are the reason I didn’t stay in touch.”
“Fine. Just read the fucking letter. We can’t pretend to be married with you hating me. We’re supposed to be newlyweds.”
“I can be a damn good actress when I need to be.” She walked back to the bed and tore open the envelope.
“Yeah. Apparently, you’ve always been a good actress. You can turn it on and off whenever the fuck you want to.”
“Takes one to know one,” she said.
And when she pulled the letter out of the envelope, I turned for the door.
Drudging up the past wasn’t something I wanted to do.
But it was the only way we could move forward.