Finding Forgiveness

Leo returned home late in the evening. The kids were in bed and it was just Max and I downstairs.

I got up straight away to see him, the anticipation killing me. But as soon as I came into the hall and set my eyes on him as he stood by the door taking off his shoes, I knew the result of the mission in Seattle. I didn't even need him to gravely look up and shake his head.

I sighed and my heart sunk as he came and hugged me.

"I'm sorry,” he said. "We were so close.”

"At least he didn't get you," I said, trying to stay positive. "So long as you are alive, I will be okay.”

He smiled and kissed my head before looking up to Max.

"There's an emergency meeting lead by Blair in the base tonight for all senior members of the pack,” Leo said. "I won't be attending as I need to spend the evening with my mate but Blair has my orders."

Max nodded and left as Leo continued to hold me.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Are you really okay?"

I shook my head.

"No," I replied.

He put his fingers under my chin and lifted my head so I was looking him in the eye.

"You look exhausted," he said.

"I've been worrying about you all day," I replied. "I know we want Andrea dead but not if it costs you your life."

"This isn't something we can just abandon, Ella. It will not end until one of us wins. Until one of us dies," he said. "I have to work to ensure that itis not me.”

I nodded, "I know," I said bringing my hand to his cheek, "But it terrifies me. I hate it when you go away.”

He sighed and hugged me tightly again.

"I'm here right now. Let's make the most of it, okay?" he said. "And let's try to forget about it just of the evening.”

I nodded.

Leo's Pov

An hour later, we were lying on the sofa watching Brooklyn 99 on the sofa. I had Ella in my arms with her head on my rested on my chest and every time she let out a little giggle at the programme, I felt the muscles in her face move, which made me smile too.

I was hardly even watching it. Instead, I took to playing with the silky strands of her hair and just enjoying the comfort of having her safe and relatively happy in my arms. Today had been a massive, demoralising fail but seeing her had reminded me what I was fighting for. I was going to find him and destroy him. I had to for her.

At one point, she lifted her head and looked up at me with furrowed eyebrows. I brought my hand to her cheek and smiled.

"What?" I asked, amused by the way she was contorting her face. "Why didn't you laugh at that part? That's your favourite part of like the whole series?" she questioned.

I said nothing but smiled.

"The part where Jake says-" she continued, still confused.

"I know what he says. We've watched it at least ten times," I said softly. "But I'm far too busy appreciating you to appreciate it today."

She smiled and placed her hands on my chest before shuffling closer. She then tucked her hair behind her ears and leant forward.

As she placed her lips on mine, I felt bliss radiate through me. It was the most relaxing, most comforting, most mellow feeling. Better than any drug. Of course, her kisses had always been good but after months and months without one, it hit on a whole new scale.

I smiled and let out a deep breath and I opened my eyes again as she pulled away.

"You're right. Tonight is about us, not netflix," she said.

I placed my hand on her neck, "I love you," I said.

"I love you too," she replied before leaning closer again.

"Are you sure you are ready for this?" I asked, pausing her. "With Andrea coming back and everything is this really what you need?" "This is exactly what I need,” she replied. "I need that feeling we get when we kiss more than anything.”

I smiled and let her kiss me again, this time for longer. Not wanting to overstep her boundaries, I let her lead as I just lay with her on top of me, tasting her sweetness

When I was sure she'd be comfortable, I brought my hand to her waist before pausing again.

"You'll tell me if it's too much, okay?" I said.

She nodded and this time I kissed her. My other hand slipped down to her neck where her mark was. It had been a no go area since I got her back from Venezuela but now I could finally run my fingers near it again.

She then pulled away from my lips to bring her hand to mine and moved it further down her neck until my fingers sat completely on the mark.

"It's okay," she said, "I don't want to look at it and think the last person to touch it was him anymore.”

I smiled and ran my fingers along it.

"And the last person to kiss you wasn't him anymore either,” I added. "We should have done this weeks ago," she said as I brought my hands away from it and back to her waist. "I feel so much better and cleansed now."

I shook my head, "You weren't ready then. It would have been too much for you. We have to take this slow, okay? This was enough steps for one night.”

She nodded.

"You're a good man, Leonardo,” she said kissing my cheek once more. I smiled and pulled her back into my arms, just as we heard a small pair of footsteps come down the stairs.

"Silas, is that you?" Ella asked.

A few seconds later, a small blond child appeared in front of us. Silas was only six years old and wore his little checkered pyjamas and clutched a teddy in his arms as he looked up at us with his big blue eyes.

"I woke up and wanted to see, Papa,” he said.

I reached out and pulled him into my arms next to Ella.

"Have you missed me or something?" I asked, showering him with kisses as he giggled.

He nodded before I hugged him tight and he wrapped his little arms around me.

"Mama said you went to the city with Luca,” Silas said. "And, and next time me, Mathias and Cato want to come too."

"Oh, Si," 1 said with a slight laugh, "You don't want to come. I was doing boring Alpha stuff.”

Silas looked disheartened and Ella smiled sadly and ran her hand along Silas's head.

"Maybe one day your Dad will take you boys to the city," she said. "But you know that can't happen at the moment, don't you?"

"Because of the bad man," he said with a frown.

Ella nodded, "Yes but as soon as he is gone and the pack is safe and peaceful again, he can take you to see Seattle.”

Silas nodded and smiled, "Yeh!"

I squeezed him again and kissed his cheek.

The three of us lay on the sofa for an hour more until both Ella and Silas were asleep. Unable to move without waking both of them, I accepted that I was spending the night on the sofa and kissed both their heads before switching off the TV and then the lamp before closing my eyes too.

This is how we used to spend our evenings before everything happened. We'd fall alseep on this sofa or upstairs with one or more of the kids. Sometimes all of them if we were lucky. And once every blue moon Ella and I would get a second to ourselves which we savoured far more than we ever did before this house became overrun with little humans. But we didn't mind because we loved them so much and although it was hard at times, like during the tantrums and arguments or bumped heads and midnight screaming, we would never even dream of going back. Overall, the house was a happy one.

For a moment, it felt like we were back to those times and oh how I wished for every moment to be like this.