Finding Forgiveness

Unable to really do much else, I sat for a while thinking about what Antonio said.

My thoughts were going backwards and forwards like a yoyo - one spun by a member of the small group in the population of earth that can actually make a yoyo go up and down more than twice too. Andrea can't do anything to Cato if he never leaves the territory and Leo's army is the best in the world. I've seen them train. His warriors are insane. So maybe I should wait a little while longer.

But on the other hand, I have learnt not to underestimate what Andrea is capable of either. Morality clearly doesn't stand in his way and after all, he is a high class, millionaire drug lord.

The question that remains, which do I trust to manage to do what they said they would more? Leo or Andrea?

Antonio said to have faith in my mate but where was that going to get us?

At that point my phone, that remarkably still works considering how hard I threw it, pinged on the other side of the room. I stretched my foot out as far as I could and was just about able to reach and it and drag it back to me.

And so my question was answered.

A text presumably from Andrea, although with the usual lack of ID, reading: sorry about your border guards. Send my condolences to the families.

I threw my head back in grief. How had this happened?

I quickly dialled Leo's number and it rang only once before he picked up.

"They've got off territory," I said hastily.

"I know," he replied gravely. "Nine of my men are dead.”

"And we are losing our son!"

"I am doing everything I can, Ella," he said in what sounded like a forced calm tone.

"Tell Antonio to let me go. It is the only way," I stated. "Please, Leo. How will you live with yourself if something happens?”

"I have made my decision. Give it up, Ella," he said deeply. "It isn't even up for discussion and if I hear from Antonio that you even attempted to get out of those handcuffs, I will have him watch you until all of this is over. Understand?"

"Just focus on bringing him home," I whispered. "Please."

I then hung up the phone and began trying to pick the lock on the handcuffs with Lil's hairclip.

Five frustrating minutes later, Mathias, Silas, Marie, Francesca and Lili came into the room.

"Granny told us to give you this,” Mathias said handing me a glass of water and a sandwich on a plate.

"Thank you, honey," I replied taking a sip of the water.

"Mama, what are you doing with my hairclip?” Lili asked curiously.

"I'm going to tell you a secret but you can't tell anyone okay?" I whispered beckoning them forward. "And then I need your help but we have to use our quietest voices, si?"

They all nodded and stepped closer to me and into a tight circle. "Mommy knows how to bring Cato home but nobody can know. Not even Granny and Granddad,” I began.

"Why?" Silas whispered.

"Because they might try to stop me and if they do, we might not be able to save Cato,” I answered. "It's a top-secret team mission, okay? So can you help me get out of the house without them knowing?"

They all nodded excitedly.

"Francesca and Marie, you're task is to distract Granny. Ask if she can help you make another cake. You like cooking with Granny, yes?" "Yeah!" Marie squealed before slamming her hand over her mouth. "Yeah," she added now in a whisper.

"Okay good,” I said with a smiled before pulling them both into my arms. "I love you both very much," I added kissing them each on the forehead before watching them leave the room knowing it could be the last time I see my twins.

"Lili, you're on Granddad," I said my voice breaking a little bit as I spoke. "He's in his office right now, make sure he doesn't leave. You're very good at asking questions, right? I'm sure there are hours worth of things to ask about," I said pulling her into my arms too. "And thank you again for the pretty hair clip.”

She nodded, kissed me on the cheek before leaving the room too. "Silas, I need you to get my rucksack out of the room at the end of the corridor,” I said knowing that I'm gonna need my passport and credit card if I want to stand any chance of getting to Mexico. "But you have to be as quiet as a mouse," I added picking the last bit of the lock on the handcuffs and freeing my wrist. "Just like when we play spies.”

He then hurried out of the room too, leaving just me and Mathias. "What about me, Mommy?" he asked.

"You have the most important job of all, Mathias," I said placing my hands on his shoulders. "You are the eldest for now. I want you to look out for your siblings, and your father too. Until Cato gets back, you are in charge. Make sure Stefano and Zachy grow up knowing that their Mommy loves them and tell them all about me. Make sure Frannie and Marie get their bedtime story and that Daddy-"

A cry then broke my speech as I tried to hold the tears back.

"Ensure that Daddy doesn't miss me too much," I whispered.

"Are you coming back, Mama?" he questioned.

"Maybe, maybe not. But wherever I am, I love you all so much,” I said hugging him so tightly. "Make sure everybody knows that.”

Silas then returned with my rucksack and by the sounds of things, Rosa and Antonio were well-distracted downstairs. Everything was ready. Mathias had a tear in his eye too and even Silas seemed to have worked out that something wasn't right.

They were both only six years old, I couldn't possibly expect them to understand.

I pulled Silas into the hug too and for a moment thought that I couldn't let go. I was close to ducking out and not going, but deep down I knew that the easiest thing to do isn't always the right thing to do.

I eventually pulled my self away, kissed them on the forehead, effortlessly broke the weakened lock on the window and began scrambling my way onto the window ledge.

"I love you," I said to them as they watched.

Silas waved but Mathias just stared, his eyes now full of water. I blew a kiss before disappeared out of the window.

Goodbye, my loves.